Warren Nash blames the county for his hemorrhoids ... and the GREEN MOUSE presents NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW.

Most of us spent the holiday weekend watching the COVID deniers merrily clustering together, which would be encouraging from a herd-thinning standpoint if it weren't hazardous for the rest of us.

By week's end yet another police atrocity against non-white Americans occurred, this time the murder of a black man in Minneapolis. This act of state-sanctioned violence prompted the usual defense of property rights and obliviousness to human life, both emanating from the very same three-percenters and their "penis proxies."

Here's a useful article that helps explain this cognitive dissonance, and you can be sure that it won't be linked at the city's web site any time soon.

When intolerant white people fear democracy may benefit marginalized people, they abandon their commitment to democracy.

Consequently, it's been a slow news week in New Albany apart from another instance of Jeff Gahan taking credit for someone else's investment: Here come the tax abatements for Northwest Ordinance Distilling.

We were forced to make do with other forms of entertainment, which the city's worst-ever former mayor provided at Facebook.

Warren, is it supposed to rain today? THE COUNTY GUVMINT DUNNIT!

Okay, but Warren, which pair is better, the original Duke boys or those one-season replacements? IT'S ALL THE COUNTY'S FAULT!

Um, okay. Do you have a nice recipe for barbecued bologna? MAKE COUNTY GUVMINT PAY FOR IT!

Admittedly it was a bit much for me to see Warren Nash state publicly that he doesn't block others on social media. Commendable, although he's conveniently forgetting the bigger issue of his beloved DemoDisneyDixiecrats, their flimsy respect for dialogue, and their equally squalid habit of squelching perceived dissent.

The full thread is here, and if you're interested in the gory details of the perennial party gutlessness, of which Warren is a functional and participating component ...

The Adamite Chronicles: Have muzzle, will drivel.

I haven’t stopped laughing since then. At precisely this pivotal moment of inexorably changing mathematics, when the Floyd County Democratic Party might have initiated an honest dialogue with its long-neglected left wing – as inhabited by genuine non-Dixiecratic Democrats and a formerly reliable but rapidly disillusioned cohort of left-leaning fellow travelers – for succor, it has chosen instead to espouse censorship and express its abiding hostility to ideas.

Can you even imagine Warren Nash, Adam Dickey or Jeff Gahan tending a stall at the marketplace of ideas?

Empty shelves ... or empty selves?

---

There were a few headlines of note this week.

Pints&union is taking a staycation this week, returning Tuesday 9 June.

In a nutshell, all the factors combining to make Pints&union an intimate, personable pub prior to COVID now militate against viable reopening strategies, not to mention our belief that the reopening is premature to begin with.

For at least so long as the state of Indiana maintains a relaxation of regulations for the greater good of pandemic recovery, there is an answer outside, beyond the doorways of ALL small independent businesses, not only food and drink.

It's time right now for City Hall to use our public spaces for COVID recovery.

Can City Hall conceive of such a thing without commissioning months of expensive studies from donor engineering and design firms?

In closing, Memorial Day 2020 likely will be remembered locally as the day we lost Lee Kelly, a true legend and sporting icon.

I turned my column space over to "not me" precisely because Matt's 2013 newspaper piece honoring Lee's retirement from teaching made for the finest of eulogies, in the sense that hundreds of thousands of daily interactions with thousands of students over a period of 40 years are the truest measure of Lee's substantial legacy. 

ON THE AVENUES: The late, great Lee Kelly -- by Matt Nash.

Have you been wondering about Harvest Homecoming in a time of social distancing? So has the Green Mouse. Maybe next week he'll put a cork in that bottle and start asking questions.

In which Deaf Gahan regales public housing residents with ribald tales of the "superstar" Warren Nash.

On April 2 a "handful" of Mark Elrod Tower residents (the mayor's words, not ours) witnessed a full-throttle City Hall team in glorious campaign mode. Mayor Gahan, Gauleiter Duggins and BOWhisperer Nash each spoke.

In this excerpt, Gahan attempts to answer a question about Grant Line Road repairs.

---

Question: "When is the anticipated finishing date on Grant Line, just to get it open without construction, whether there’s pot holes or not?"

Jeff Gahan: “Everything is supposed to be done by September. I’m talking about we have five roads under construction now, Market Street – we just tore that one up – uh, Grant Line Road, Mt. Tabor Road, Old Vincennes, yeah, and so they’re all supposed to be done by September, on top of the paving we’re going to do. So all this stuff is messy, I mean, change is messy, construction is messy, plans are hard, communicating is the toughest thing we do – the hardest thing we do is talk to people about, hey, this is what we’re trying to do, it’s hard to get out to 38,000 people and say hey, this is what we’re trying to do, yeah I know, this is good stuff, it’s not bad stuff, this is all good stuff, but you know, how many people do we have in this room, a handful? To have this one on one with people and to make ‘em feel good about their hometown, and say hey, they’re not all bad guys, we take money and all the resources we can get, we’re packing it into service, stuffing it into service to make sure it’s working for you. Uh, it’s difficult, it’s difficult, but we do this every day now, so that’s what we try to do, communicate like this, uh, I’m a little – I like this format a little bit better than typing things out on social media, but uh, you know it’s real, it’s real stuff, you guys, we’re a community that has a long history of caring about housing, and do all of you know this guy, who this guy is right here? This is former mayor Warren Nash, and he runs our -- Warren Nash is a superstar, he was the mayor when he was in his 30s, and you guys talk about that tower? Guess who was around, said let’s build that tower and give people a place to go? This guy, and he was way ahead of his time. Way ahead of his time. Nobody else was doing that stuff, Warren was. Warren serves every day at the board of works, every Tuesday the board of works, he deals with things just like this. What about this, what about that – what about this pothole, how about that stop sign, how are we going to build this road, why are you paving that road instead of this one. Hey, I got a sewer bill, can you help me with the sewer bill. That’s what Mr. Nash does every single Tuesday."

---

For obvious reasons and maximum humor, these transcriptions will be kept brief. 

Institutional cowardice might explain why the Board of Works has routinely ignored complaints about the dangerous intersection of Main and Bank Streets ... since at least 2015.

In 2017, in 2019. Forever; no change.

Props to Stacie Bale for informing Warren Naps and the Bored of Works that the intersection of Main and Bank is hazardous for pretty much everyone who uses it, drivers included, but especially walkers.

Roadrunner Kitchen owner says dangerous intersection hurting business, by Chris Morris (Hanson's Folly)

NEW ALBANY — Stacie Bale, owner of Roadrunner Kitchen in New Albany, loves her new location at the Underground Station, at the corner of Main and Bank streets. She moved there from her old Main Street location in January.

While the new home is perfect for her restaurant, getting there is a problem — for both pedestrians and vehicles. Trying to cross Main Street from Bank Street is dangerous, Bale told the New Albany Board of Public Works & Safety on Tuesday, and she is looking for the city to add some safety measures.

"We have maintained a lot of our regulars, but tons of pedestrians won't cross the road," she said. "We have 11 businesses there [Underground Station] but due to safety you can't get there. I don't even leave work that way in my car."

Bale is hoping the city can add a traffic light at the intersection. City engineer Larry Summers said there are plans in the works to redo Main Street, from East Fifth Street to State Street "a couple years down the road."

"Part of that is to look at a signal at that location. But before we do that we have to do an analysis to see if a signal is warranted," he said. "We are looking at several different options for that intersection."

Bale is hoping something can be done there sooner rather than later.

"I love it there, and our new landlord is super," she said. "But something needs to be done there to make it safer."

Sew Fitting owner Cisa Kubley, whose shop sits in front of the Underground Station at Bank and Main streets, said the intersection is one of the most dangerous in the city.

"We hear honking and screeching tires every day. Even when there aren't cars parked on Main Street it's still very limited visibility," she said. "People drive far too fast and pay no attention to cars slowing to turn or pedestrians trying to cross."

Let's see.

It was October 29, 2017 (below) -- and Larry Summers probably gave precisely the same robotic answer, because then as now, the people charged with determining safe walking conditions do so from the DRIVER'S SEAT OF THEIR CARS, not with two feet on the ground.

---

Main Street intersections at Bank and 4th are hazardous for pedestrians. Where's City Hall, apart from a state of denial?

An increased number of businesses are on the north side of Main Street. More are on the south side (Underground Station) as well as one of the larger expanses of surface parking (by the levee).

Notice the crosswalks and other means of making pedestrian passage across this wide street easier.

That's right. There are none.

The intersection of Bank and Main also is bad for drivers, especially those northbound from the surface lot. It's been two and a half years since this was first pointed out to BOW (reprint below).

Now the situation is worsening at 4th and Main, where Hull & High Water is generating a great deal of foot traffic, both from area parking and the beautified corridor.

Jeff Speck had thoughts about this. These are 17-foot traffic lanes and 8-foot parking depths. That's a whole 50 feet from one side to another, without any effort to slow traffic or assist pedestrians.

Until city officials do something about this, anything they say about "walkability" is to be taken as an insult. After all, it's "not an option," is it?

---

May 13, 2015

Board of Works approves new city slogan for new city seal: "It's not an option."

There were many curiosities at yesterday's Board of Public Works and Safety meeting, held at the usual 10:00 a.m. slot which precludes so very much in the way of attendance and public input.

We learned that some folks can temporarily close streets with little effort, while others must assemble a petition. We noticed that when it comes to communications, it doesn't. It was reported that John "Human Chainsaw" Rosenbarger will be felling 30+ trees on Thomas Street, and planting 50 more ... and so on.

However, let's focus on just one of the items.

At a previous meeting, local businesses occupying the evolving Underground Station property on the corner of Main and Bank had asked the Board of Works to refit the intersection in front of their building (Main and Bank) into a 4-way stop, and to add a handicapped parking space on Main.

It wasn't surprising to hear street department commissioner Mickey Thompson speak for the board in waving away these requests, but his justifications (and his tone) were puzzling.

As for the handicapped space, Thompson feared establishing a harmful precedent, as though to say that if one business seeks a handicapped space, all of them would. Left unsaid was whether people with handicaps would find this useful.

But isn't the real question this: Why doesn't the city, through its Board of Works, proactively address parking issues and enforce parking ordinances? Why be troubled by a solitary handicapped space when no laws presently are enforced? After all, don't just do something -- stand there.

As for the 4-way stop request, which was made owing to steadily increasing traffic probably resulting from the simple fact that finally there is commercial traffic where before there was none, Thompson could do no better than grunt: "It's not an option." 

The obvious question that should have been asked and answered: "Why Not? Why isn't it an option?" 

We already know that through the top-down marionette otherwise known as the Board of Works and Safety (that word again), the Democratic municipal machine is delaying all movement toward street grid reform for 18 months or more. However, as the intersection of Main and Bank attests, the grid already is unsafe, and in the regrettable vacuum created by Jeff Gahan's politically-inspired and plainly cowardly deferrals, our streets are becoming more unsafe by the day.

Jeff, Warren, Adam ... yo, guys, can we at least have a Band-Aid to staunch the bleeding?

Even a wooden clothespin in place of the necessary tourniquet might help us to stay alive and watch you ineffectually fiddle.

Following are some fair and balanced pros and cons of the 4-way stop.

The Great Stop Sign Experiment, by Sam Newberg (Streets MN)

... In the big picture my personal hope and goal is for my neighborhood (and city) to be a safer place for all ages to walk and bike. If that means cars have to drive slower or there is more congestion in places or at certain times of the day, I’m willing to accept that. If we build and manage our roads to accommodate rush-hour traffic, the livability of our city will suffer at all hours.

In a late phone call, Mayor Gahan addresses our swastika sticker problem.

Maybe Joe Donnelly is available for a consultation.

City Hall says we have "sufficient" bike lanes to accommodate e-scooters. It's probably a good idea to follow the money before getting excited about the prospect.

Photo credit.

It's difficult to fathom the change.

In 2015, New Albany's Board of Works and Public Safety famously dithered for months about a harmless street piano.

Bluegill summarized:

First, there was a request to place a piano on a public sidewalk in New Albany; a fun, harmless, and completely normal happening around the world. Then there were months of city officials sidestepping and ignoring that request. Then there were additional weeks and multiple meetings of artificially constructed and wholly irrelevant hurdles put in place. Then there was media attention and, by New Albany standards, an expression of public support for the piano and exasperation with the City sizable enough to embarrass the officials involved. And then there was finally approval, with an almost equally embarrassing rearguard attempt to claim officials had supported it all along. I wish any of that was out of the ordinary but it's a near perfect example of what ordinary is here, even and especially when the stakes are much higher. Playing a new tune couldn't be any more welcome.

Now, seemingly at the casual drop of a chapeau, BOW's gatekeeper Warren Nash is striking a youthful pose with regard to Bird e-scooters.

"It's (an up-and-coming) thing, and it's working in other places."

Ugh. Can a hipster beard be far behind?

Before we risk life and limb atop one of the Bird e-scooters to be turned loose to navigate New Albany's streets of screams, let's define the term.

We tried it: How the new Bird scooters work and what you need to know, by Kirby Adams (Louisville Courier Journal)

Courier Journal reporter Kirby Adams and executive editor Joel Christopher try out the Bird scooter in downtown Louisville Kirby Adams, Louisville Courier Journal

Like a flock of starlings suddenly swooping into a city park, a pack of Bird electric scooters are landing in Louisville and a lot of curious Louisvllians want to know how to hop a ride.

So, we took a ride on a Bird scooter (when they prematurely arrived a few weeks ago!) to give you the ins and outs on what to expect.

Here's how it works

First and foremost, riders must have a valid drivers license and be 18 or older to use a Bird.

When Courier Journal Executive Editor Joel Christopher and I decided to take a couple of Birds to lunch, the first order of business was to download the Bird app on our smartphones and locate where two scooters were parked.

See the interesting thing about Bird scooters is they're not parked in any particular spot, like the bike sharing racks that dot Louisville's downtown. (In case you didn't know, Louisville's bicycle sharing program, LouVelo, has been in operation since May 2017 and has more than 25 docking stations or kiosks around the city.)

Instead, with Bird, you cruise the app to ping a scooter's location.

We got lucky and found a couple just a few blocks from the Courier Journal on Fourth Street near the Louisville Palace, 625 S. 4th St.

There are certain parallels between the advent of e-scooters and ride sharing. One thing to bear in mind is the existence of more than one e-scooter supplier seeking a piece of the action. Because cities have since learned the rules of the game, regulators are involving themselves with the laborious task of picking winners. 

The bare-knuckle tactics Uber used to get its way with regulators are not going to work for scooter startups, by Johana Bhuiyan (Recode)

Cities have the upper hand this time.

... Cities are also not instating an outright ban on scooters — regulators are simply being selective about which companies will operate those scooters. And governments, like Santa Monica’s, are using their power to demand compliance, collaboration and a commitment to equitable access to transportation — not just in their cities, but everywhere.

Having watched Uber and Airbnb grow around the world, these lawmakers are under no illusions that a noncompliant company in one city will magically be compliant in theirs. Santa Monica’s scooter permit process, for example, included a scorecard, where companies were judged on how well they comply with local, federal and other laws.

Bird scored among the lowest.

We all know what this means. What do you do to improve your performance? Hire a lobbyist, of course.

Exclusive: Bird plucks prominent Nashville lobbyist to lead regional efforts, by William Deshazer (Nashville Business Journal)

Sam Reed has left The Ingram Group to lead a new government relations team for his former client, Bird.

Accordingly, we already know the likely next step in this process; insert Gahan re-election fund donation here, because it's almost certain to appear on the mayor's 2018 books.

I'll let you know when this can be verified, but I'm supremely confident it will.

Apart from the near certain donation, the Bird scooter discussion is surfacing at this moment because of several considerations unrelated to tender concern toward the commonweal.

For one thing, I'm not the only critic of the city's street grid neglect. Officials have been thin-skinned about those pointing to their lack of resolve to make the city safer. I think publicly dabbling with scooters sends a message to the doubters, and also hoists a tepid middle finger: "See, the city is so very safe we can allow scooters to dart through it with no worries."

Be scared ... very scared.

There’s also an election coming, and local Democrats want desperately to believe in the possibility of a "blue wave." Mention of e-scooters is code language directed toward a handful of purported progressives, implying that in spite of the dull sluggishness of the city's and party's pay-to-play patronage machine, bureaucratic local Democrats are achingly hip to modernity.

Total fabrication, zero intent.

The article below duly notes an ongoing examination of liability being conducted by the city's corporate attorney, which is likely to translate into draconian restrictions on usage even if the requisite donations are made, and the city actually approves e-scooter use.

Here's the part that should give you pause.

E-scooters are required to ride in the bike lanes or close to the right curb. New Albany officials say the city has sufficient bike lanes to accommodate the scooters.

Sufficient bike lanes?

How much Bud Light Lime has to pass down one's gullet before our bike lanes are sufficient for bikes, much less e-scooters?

Recalling that Spring Street already is the nexus of justifiable complaints about City Hall's unwillingness to protect all users of the street grid, it's also the only downtown street with bicycle lanes -- in spite of Jeff Speck's recommendation that we include them everywhere.

One can readily imagine Nash and Gahan, beaming happily as e-scooters travel up one side of Spring Street and down the other, pausing only to be obliterated by speeding drivers whenever they try to cross to the other side.

Will attorney Gibson also be researching what's likely to happen if a Bird inadvertently wanders into one of New Albany's signature non-functional sharrows?

New Albany officials look to bring Bird scooters across the river, by Jessica Bard (WDRB)

Officials in New Albany are trying to determine whether they should make a push to bring e-scooters to southern Indiana.

 ... Louisville Public Works announced Monday new rules for riders, including where they can’t ride. Waterfront Park is off limits.

“You're allowed to ride generally within the Watterson Expressway,” Adams said.

Across the river, officials in New Albany are keeping a close eye on what's happening. They’re trying to determine whether they should make a push to bring e-scooters to southern Indiana.

The president of the New Albany Board of Public Works, Warren Nash, said he supports the movement, and the city has reached out to Bird. The city attorney is doing research on what happens if something goes wrong.

Apologies to Cliff Staten for the Human Rights Commission headline of August 10.

I owe an apology to Cliff Staten.

Here's why.

Back on August 10, I marveled at the sheer moral turpitude of Mayor Jeff Gahan's appointment of Democratic Party power broker Warren Nash to a slot aboard a revived Human Rights Commission.

In my eagerness to shine a spotlight on this crass insult to human rights campaigners everywhere on the planet, I managed instead to imply that Nash's fellow appointee Cliff Staten was tantamount to Idi Amin, and this was not my intention, so both an apology and a correction are due.

The original: Gahan belatedly rediscovers "pride," appoints Warren Nash and Idi Amin to the long lost Human Rights Commission, and disappears back into the bunker.

The correction: Gahan belatedly rediscovers misplaced "pride," appoints Warren Harding Nash to the long lost Human Rights Commission, and disappears back into the bunker.

I thought the surreal sarcasm was obvious, and the original headline would be understood as, "If you're going to appoint Warren Nash to handle human rights, you might as well appoint Idi Amin."

But no excuses. This isn't how it read, and writers are supposed to be better than that.

Apologies to Cliff Staten. He is neither Warren Nash NOR Idi Amin. 

I did not intend to compare Staten to Idi Amin, and I feel badly that this was the impression given. It also was mistaken of me to lump him into the same category with Nash. Staten served on the HRC previously; he's plainly well-meaning and otherwise purely peripheral to the local Democratic Party's perennial "fix is in" system of patronage.

Know that I'm not backing away one inch from the overarching points of the mayor's two HRC appointments reflecting (a) Gahan's pathological need for control; (b) his predilection for nepotism; and (c) an enduring tone deafness in the sense of the mayor being insensitive to the critical need for women, LGBTQ, minorities and the disabled (in no particular order) to serve on boards like this which are charged with redressing fundamental human rights injustices.

I believe these three points are both true and crucial, but approaching them from the standpoint of polemical anger only weakens the argument.

Meanwhile, as a longtime university professor, Cliff Staten himself understands the importance of diverse representation, and certainly he has shown in the past that he is very sensitive to it. Nash, not so much -- but this is all the more reason for me to refrain from cheap-shot shortcuts by incorrectly tarring Staten with the same brush.

To repeat: My bad, Cliff. I erred, and I pledge to be better.

Human rights commission? It's just a "vehicle" to stop criticism, says worst-mayor-ever Warren Nash.

"I felt like the city was being maligned back then and I thought this would be a vehicle to stop that criticism. The complaints against the city were all unfounded."
-- Warren Nash

Chris Morris has done us a great service by capturing this breathtaking quote, which reveals the politically-motivated, self-serving conniving that has characterized Warren Nash's whole career as a self-appointed mover/shaker in New Albany.

Plainly, the human rights commission means nothing to Nash in any sense of furthering the cause of human rights.

Rather, it's just a vehicle -- a purely cynical propaganda jalopy -- to thwart criticism, which at the time of Nash's single term as mayor almost 50 years ago (he was mercilessly crushed seeking a second term and never won another race) was criticism directed against Nash's own incompetence as the worst mayor this city has ever endured ... until Jeff Gahan, Nash's eager pupil, who subverted the current human rights commission and now has doubled down on the damage by appointing his unspeakably dull Svengali to serve on it, so as to perpetuate the do-nothing fix for a new generation, one that deserves far better than either Nash or Gahan allowed anywhere close to a decision-making post.

But it's plenty good for Gahan's campaign war chest, isn't it? In New Gahania, money has more rights than humans. Maybe we need a Campaign Finance Rights Commission.

Thanks, Chris.

The city needed to see exactly what Warren Nash is, and how he operates. In 2019, we can retire Nash by firing Gahan, and in the process, free ourselves from the reign of vendor cash and the stifling yoke of the C-Minus Clique.

New Albany's Human Rights Commission looking for fifth member (Tom May Escalator Duplex)

NEW ALBANY — For a commission that hasn't met in two years, there are going to be a few bumps along the way once that group reconvenes.

The rust was evident during the first 15 minutes of New Albany's Human Rights Commission meeting Tuesday night, the group's first meeting of 2018 ...

ASK THE BORED: Faced with 75 signatures on a petition, Nash, Summers and the clueless BOW non-safety board can't muster a single empathetic response.

Last Tuesday the Board of Mute Nostril Agony reached a new low. 

A brief summary: With their own two eyes, 75 neighborhood residents can see that drivers speeding through their neighborhood need to be slowed at the critical intersection of Elm and Jay, and the response from Warren Nash and Larry Summers? In essence, it's this:

We're the experts, peasant, so believe us when we tell you that your own two eyes are quite mistaken. INDOT is like a God, and we merely arrange the sacrifices.

Their hallowed engineering metric says there must be many more cars, traveling at even greater rates of speed, making the situation far worse, before slowing drivers can so much as be considered.

Only then will they check their nut sacks to see if any courage might be hanging there. Spoiler: there isn't, so they'll drag HWC's Jim Rice down from Indianapolis to explain that Daddy Gahan Knows Best.

It's offensive and appalling, this robotic lack of basic human empathy with which Gahan, Nash, Summers and their board of abject time-serving cowards pretend to care about "safety" even as they duck, cover and flee responsibility when drivers claim the lives of Chloe Allen and Matt Brewer, and strike and injure so many others.

However, last Tuesday police chief Todd Bailey offered a potentially devastating, constructive observation.

We have ourselves a precedent.

There's a "line of sight" issue at the intersection of Elm and Jay -- and at several other nearby intersections, too, including Elm and 13th, and 9th at Spring, where the Williams Plumbing trucks continue to park unhindered, and impede sight lines, in spite of this futile ordinance prohibiting it.

Ordinance enforcement, anyone?

(crickets chirp, pins drop, and somewhere, a dog barks)

Instead of tired bureaucratic excuses conjured unconvincingly by the usual C-minus students, maybe there can be action without the same-old campaign fund donations?

Dead Man's Curve has killed, and it will kill again unless our cowardly ruling clique does its job.

Here, there and everywhere, "In crashes that kill pedestrians, the majority of drivers don't face charges."

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Both Jeff Gahan and Warren Nash believe that driver convenience far outranks considerations of human life.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Both Jeff Gahan and Warren Nash believe that driver convenience far outranks considerations of human life.

The Green Mouse has learned that in response to Midtown neighborhood resident concerns about speeding and recklessness in the aftermath of skateboarder Matt Brewer's death at the hands of a irresponsible driver, both Mayor Jeff Gahan and Board of Public Works president Warren Nash have commented privately and repeatedly that drivers using the Spring Street corridor cannot possibly be inconvenienced by further traffic calming measures.

I trust the Mouse's multiple sources on this matter. If mayor and mentor disagree, then perhaps they'd like to submit a correction.

Of course, they've both lied repeatedly in the past, and it isn't the first time these two execrable human beings slouch before you, exposed as charlatans.

Isn't it about time that Gahan and Nash went on record, publicly, with these "drivers as permanent privileged class" sentiments? Surely Adam Dickey would slobber servile veneration in response.

In reality, Jeffrey's and Warren's street grid "modernization" sham was a campaign-finance impelled paving project, and now their innate cowardice has turned deadly.

So come right out and say it, gentlemen.

Perhaps HWC Engineering already has quantified an acceptable level of pedestrian, bicyclist, skateboarder and handicapped user attrition before anyone need be concerned about the vital flow of money into the mayoral re-election campaign account.

Just remember that when I asked HWC's Jim Rice about the effectiveness of the street grid reversion, he replied that well, they'd sure kept the heavy trucks moving.

How many bodies are underneath those wheels, Jeffrey, Warren and James -- and how many more before you're able to muster a human response?

#FireGahan2019
#FlushTheClique

Jeff Gahan redefines the Human Rights Commission as an exciting new captive mayoral art project.

This post was edited on September 7 to correct an unfair bias against HRC appointee Cliff Staten. For the explanation, go here.

Mayor Jeff Gahan has released the winning entry in his Human Rights Commission Mayoral Art Project, which posed the question: Can you take this strange idea ...

... and make it palatable to Democratic Party voters?

And the winner is: JEFF GAHAN!

Here is the mayor's winning entry.

To recap:

Gahan belatedly rediscovers misplaced "pride," appoints Warren Harding Nash to the long lost Human Rights Commission, and disappears back into the bunker.

Predictably paranoiac and suitably suspicious, and unable to find any symbolic minorities to co-opt with Human Rights Commission seats, Gahan appointed two old straight white males tied to the local Democratic hierarchy, so no, he's not exactly artistic, our Jeffrey.

The bunker-bound mayor seeks only to control the HRC, and we need to understand that assigning political cronies like Nash to an HRC kept inert on blocks by Gahan himself over a period of YEARS reflects absolutely no commitment to human rights.

Gahan barely understands the concept, much less cares to pursue it. Rather, it's about appointing loyal Democratic sycophants to keep CONTROL over the apparatus -- in short, to try to ensure the HRC remains dormant.

The last thing Gahan wants is an autonomous, principled and active HRC, because the first order of business for an autonomous, principled and active HRC would be investigating Gahan's record in office.

The good news? It's a malfunction that we can repair, very soon.

#FireGahan2019
#FlushTheClique
#CleanSweep2019
#GetOutYourPitchforks
#VacantGahanValues

Gahan belatedly rediscovers misplaced "pride," appoints Warren Harding Nash to the long lost Human Rights Commission, and disappears back into the bunker.

This post was edited on September 7 to remove a reference that cast Cliff Staten in an unflattering light. An explanation and apology can be found here.

Council minutes of Monday, August 6

Cliff Staten (father of the current redevelopment director) will be joining Nash (current Board of Public Works and Safety president, spectacularly failed mayor and the father of a sitting council member) as Gahan's long delayed appointments to Dear Leader's intentionally moribund Human Rights Commission, coincidentally enabling the HRC's sudden resurrection just as the heat is starting to come down on Squire Adam's unresponsive Donnelly Democrats for not giving a tinker's damn about human rights.

If you believe that Warren Nash on the Human Rights Commission somehow differs from Scott Pruitt in charge of the EPA, please drop me a line. You'll be entered into a drawing, and the lucky winner gets to serve with Gahan's brother-in-law on the City-County Building Authority, or with the mayor's son-in-law on Flood Control, or with his daughters at their summer jobs at the Aquatic Center -- or maybe I'm thinking about former redevelopment director Duggins' sister married to consultant Wheatley who gets all the posh the redevelopment gigs, or the HWC Engineering connection with Dugout ...  

Anyway, second prize is all of them at once in the rubber room of your choice. 

By the way, welcome to Nepotism City.

Collector's Series of 2019 Mayoral Election Memes, Volume 1: Warren's Motivations.

#NipTheNepotism2019
#FireGahan2019

62,572 annual reasons (and 26 cents) why "a great experience is priceless" is the worst answer for any city employee to give.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Let's talk about Jeff Gahan and his personal fire department's handy tire changing service, and nepotism, and ...

Short-term spending to buy votes? How can Steve Bonifer be AGAINST this without threatening the tranquility of the next family picnic?

Main Street intersections at Bank and 4th are hazardous for pedestrians. Where's City Hall, apart from a state of denial?

An increased number of businesses are on the north side of Main Street. More are on the south side (Underground Station) as well as one of the larger expanses of surface parking (by the levee).

Notice the crosswalks and other means of making pedestrian passage across this wide street easier.

That's right. There are none. 

The intersection of Bank and Main also is bad for drivers, especially those northbound from the surface lot. It's been two and a half years since this was first pointed out to BOW (reprint below).

Now the situation is worsening at 4th and Main, where Hull & High Water is generating a great deal of foot traffic, both from area parking and the beautified corridor.

Jeff Speck had thoughts about this. These are 17-foot traffic lanes and 8-foot parking depths. That's a whole 50 feet from one side to another, without any effort to slow traffic or assist pedestrians. 

Until city officials do something about this, anything they say about "walkability" is to be taken as an insult. After all, it's "not an option," is it?

---

May 13, 2015

Board of Works approves new city slogan for new city seal: "It's not an option."

There were many curiosities at yesterday's Board of Public Works and Safety meeting, held at the usual 10:00 a.m. slot which precludes so very much in the way of attendance and public input.

We learned that some folks can temporarily close streets with little effort, while others must assemble a petition. We noticed that when it comes to communications, it doesn't. It was reported that John "Human Chainsaw" Rosenbarger will be felling 30+ trees on Thomas Street, and planting 50 more ... and so on.

However, let's focus on just one of the items.

At a previous meeting, local businesses occupying the evolving Underground Station property on the corner of Main and Bank had asked the Board of Works to refit the intersection in front of their building (Main and Bank) into a 4-way stop, and to add a handicapped parking space on Main.

It wasn't surprising to hear street department commissioner Mickey Thompson speak for the board in waving away these requests, but his justifications (and his tone) were puzzling.

As for the handicapped space, Thompson feared establishing a harmful precedent, as though to say that if one business seeks a handicapped space, all of them would. Left unsaid was whether people with handicaps would find this useful.

But isn't the real question this: Why doesn't the city, through its Board of Works, proactively address parking issues and enforce parking ordinances? Why be troubled by a solitary handicapped space when no laws presently are enforced? After all, don't just do something -- stand there.

As for the 4-way stop request, which was made owing to steadily increasing traffic probably resulting from the simple fact that finally there is commercial traffic where before there was none, Thompson could do no better than grunt: "It's not an option." 

The obvious question that should have been asked and answered: "Why Not? Why isn't it an option?" 

We already know that through the top-down marionette otherwise known as the Board of Works and Safety (that word again), the Democratic municipal machine is delaying all movement toward street grid reform for 18 months or more. However, as the intersection of Main and Bank attests, the grid already is unsafe, and in the regrettable vacuum created by Jeff Gahan's politically-inspired and plainly cowardly deferrals, our streets are becoming more unsafe by the day.

Jeff, Warren, Adam ... yo, guys, can we at least have a Band-Aid to staunch the bleeding?

Even a wooden clothespin in place of the necessary tourniquet might help us to stay alive and watch you ineffectually fiddle.

Following are some fair and balanced pros and cons of the 4-way stop.

The Great Stop Sign Experiment, by Sam Newberg (Streets MN)

... In the big picture my personal hope and goal is for my neighborhood (and city) to be a safer place for all ages to walk and bike. If that means cars have to drive slower or there is more congestion in places or at certain times of the day, I’m willing to accept that. If we build and manage our roads to accommodate rush-hour traffic, the livability of our city will suffer at all hours.

ASK THE BORED: BoW's fantasy world? Talk is cheap, and pedestrians likely will be sitting ducks at intersections that aren't "stop controlled."

Bored minutes from July 25 are hot off the presses. Let's begin with the city engineer's testimony about high-visibility crosswalks.

"At intersections that aren't stop controlled," there'll be "high-visibility crosswalks," rather than a fruitful discussion of why an intersection that merits this extra expense, one undertaken primarily to fool pedestrians into believing they're being protected, isn't being subjected to the logical step ... of being stop controlled.  

Be still my throbbing ticker, because someone mentioned the future bicycle/pedestrian meat grinder at Spring & 10th. Wait ... here comes a truck now!

See how the driver of this improperly speeding heavy truck blithely cuts off the bike lane, and has very nearly strayed into the weird detached parking space? At 40 m.p.h., this driver might strike a walker, biker and parked car, all at once.

Given that the cone is marking the spot where a pedestrian pedestal probably will be erected to (a) block handicapped access, because that's what the city routinely does, and (b) contribute to a false sense of security for pedestrians at a crosswalk that isn't stop controlled ... alas, I suspect Lincks refers merely to the task of implementing whatever smoke and mirrors atop pedestals are available to make this intersection somehow seem safe, when the logical solution ... is to make it stop controlled.

Baseball Hall of Famer Jim Rice of HWC Engineering (dude -- the cross hatching fix?) once stated to me that INDOT simply won't allow 4-way stops and stop lights to be planted for the purpose of slowing traffic.

That's a shame, Jim, because the intersection of Spring & 10th is so potentially dangerous that someone probably will be hurt, and soon, and this injury will then be used to justify the logical and belated fix ... you know, making it stop controlled.

Because, my dear Jim, it's about safety, eh? Wouldn't you rather be pro-active than reactive, or does this require an extra campaign contribution?

Meanwhile, chairman of the bored Warren Nash -- still struggling to keep his story straight about the University of Michigan door-to-door canvassing, which he's convinced is somehow connected to fluoridated water and street pianos -- indulges in a bit of surreal and self-congratulatory reasoning.

Really? Allow me to walk you through it, Warren.

But of course you knew how long the project was going to take. You're the consummate insider, who knows everything so that you can conceal it.

Perhaps the reason you're hearing confusion from the public about the duration of the McDonald Lane project is that Team Gahan does an exceedingly poor job of telling others what it intends to do -- and by others, I refer to those folks who work days and cannot attend your BoW meetings at 10:00 a.m.

It comes as no surprise that something like this would even be said aloud.

Okay, kids -- the Green Mouse is "bored" to tears, so join us again next week as we sift the wreckage of Gahanism for a few ephemeral nuggets of entertainment.

We agree completely with Todd and Warren: "These are still cold calls to people's houses ... (and) there are so many scams out there and people are concerned about answering their doors."

We'd be utterly remiss without properly attributing the preceding photos: They're from the Floyd County Democratic Party, which has been defending you from cold calls and porch scams since, uh, er ... never mind.

ASK THE BORED: Horse posteriors. Anti-intellectualism and indie business shaming on July 18. It's just as Jeff Gahan trains his blundering gatekeepers to be.

But the same party functionaries are right there at the Board of Public Works and Safety, defending you from pre-arranged social research by accredited academicians.

Feeling safer yet?

NA Confidential is delighted to know the police chief takes such a strong stance against unsolicited household visits. The next time we see him and his political cronies doing it again, we're going to call the police and have them hauled off. Per Warren Nash, Greg Phipps, et al, if there are any questions about it after the fact, we'll just lie and attribute it to miscommunication.

Isn't it time these candidates show us their solicitation permits? It won't stop us from baring our pitchforks, but at least the hypocrisy would be more entertaining.

(thanks to Jeff Gillenwater)

ASK THE BORED: Horse posteriors. Anti-intellectualism and indie business shaming on July 18. It's just as Jeff Gahan trains his blundering gatekeepers to be.

Your indulgence, please.

The city's mode of presenting relevant documents can make it challenging at times, but we persevere. There comes the pivot when you let their words speak for themselves, and so following are minutes from the Board of Public Works and Safety meeting last Tuesday (July 18).

After the minutes, blog links are provided from last week's coverage of the social research survey snafu, followed by the transcript of an exchange at the Bookseller's Fb page.

4 "Right Thing Done Rightly" as Team Gahan corrects Warren's social research faux pas, then enjoys an ice cold bucket of Lima-A-Ritas over at the roadhouse.


3 Warren's sad Board of Works social research meltdown: "Jeff Gahan’s appointees could use a refresher course in due process. After all, it is a tenet of representative government and basic justice."

2 Warren's bored, hysterical and useless -- or, "Oops – NA BoW Messes Up."

1 Democratic Party stalwart Warren Nash: Heck, this board hasn't ever approved social research study requests. Besides, we already have a captive sociologist.

Perhaps the most revealing part of the Fb transcript isn't when Warren Nash knowingly contradicts his own meeting minutes. We've come to expect it from him.

Rather, it's when councilman Phipps -- seldom the punctual debater on social media -- leaps heroically into the fray to forge a resolution, and naturally begins by thanking the wrong people for prompting the investigation.

BUT look at the top of the BoW meeting minutes, and you'll see Phipps' name as among those attending the very same BoW meeting when all this first occurred.

Was Nash napping, or was Phipps -- or both? Maybe they had to check first with Adam Dickey to determine whether they were there, or not.

Yes, there's even more. 

I've also included the minutes (above) documenting Brittany Enah's (Underground Classic Cuts) request to close Bank Street for a street party on the 22nd.

The request was shelved owing to the concurrent RiverStage production at the amphitheater, and probably legitimately, but it's the tone of rejection you should note.

I corresponded with Brittany after the meeting, and she felt angered and humiliated by the board's attitude, which I view as a legitimate reaction on her part, seeing as the otherwise dispassionate meeting minutes completely convey the bullying flavor of the interrogation.

Seemingly everyone in the room (except Phipps, who was there but apparently wasn't there) took a turn at bat upbraiding Brittany for not knowing proper procedures.

When was the last time anyone from the board or any other arm of municipal government undertook to educate anyone about anything?

Maybe on its Facebook page?

Nope. Read closely.

It's delicious: petty Nashian officialdom on what is and isn't really official. Next week, if merited, he'll flip to a different explanation, and Dickey will bask in the warm glow of tumescence.

If indie business owners don't know the exact procedure for such requests, then perhaps an august institution like Develop New Albany could take precious time off from planning another spate of one-off "signature" events to educate the business owners to help plan their own events properly -- but wait, maybe the Board of Works itself might embrace such an inclusive attitude.

Fat chance, bub.

You see, the reason why this street closing request played out the way it did is because Jeff Gahan's monetization regime needs to control events, because to control events is to (a) regulate their content according to Gahanian standards of suburban propriety, and (b) exact the proper rivulets of tribute in return.

The only surprise last Tuesday is that Nash didn't inform Brittany that she should join DNA at the proper partnership level if she expects any degree of politeness and helpfulness from the Bored.

DNA is the "official" arm. Underground Station? Just a bunch of indie business complainers who won't pay the right lady.

In summary, last Tuesday's meeting did not represent a shining moment in the recent history of the Board of Public Works and Safety. Few do, but this one was special -- epochal, perhaps.

Team Gahan's corrosive paranoia and compulsive wagon-circling seem to have been codified in official policy. Insiders are coddled, and "outsiders" scorned with bureaucratic gobbledygook, if not open abuse.

This is your New Gahania, readers. It doesn't have to be. Is it 2019 yet?