An amazing NA moment in time -- as the GREEN MOUSE presents NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW.

This happened on Saturday in New Albany.

Actually this and two other events dedicated to Black Lives Matter happened on Saturday. The three causes converged downtown, and all of it was incident-free.

As a side note, in 2016 Floyd County as a whole gave Donald Trump a 20-point margin of victory over Hillary Clinton. That's a point or so better than the statewide Indiana tally. Granted, Trump won bigger outside city limits, but not that much bigger.

We'll see what happens next, right here in New Albany. I have a few thoughts about the advisability of keeping a close eye on the political bandwagon-jumpers, but these can wait.

After all, I'm on sabbatical.

Congratulations to everyone for yesterday. It was a very good thing, indeed.

Black Lives Matter? Here PAVING is what matters -- and NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW, presented by the GREEN MOUSE.

That's right. Corbin, Kentucky.

Good job, Corbin, Kentucky. By the way, do any of the pretend-progressives in Nawbany have a pulse?

Why The Small Protests In Small Towns Across America Matter, by Anne Helen Petersen (Buzz Feed)

People who’ve watched and participated in the Black Lives Matter movement say that this time feels different. And the prevalence of these small protests is one of many reasons why.

... All over the country, people are showing up — often for the first time in their lives — to protest police brutality and injustice. In tiny ag towns like Havre (Montana) and Hermiston, Oregon, but also in midsize cities Topeka, Kansas, and Waco, Texas; on island hamlets (Friday Harbor, San Juan Island; Nantucket, Massachusetts; Bar Harbor, Maine); and in well-to-do suburbs (Lake Forest Park, Washington; Darien, Connecticut; Chagrin Falls, Ohio). They are showing up at the courthouse. They are kneeling and observing eight minutes of silence — a reference to how long Floyd was pinned to the ground in a knee chokehold by the Minneapolis police officer who was later charged with his murder. They are marching down interstates and waving signs on street corners. Sometimes, like in the town of Alton, New Hampshire (population 5,335), where one woman organized a protest just two months after being hospitalized with COVID-19, only seven people come. Sometimes, like in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, there are thousands ...

... There have been protests in Belfast, Maine. In Farmington, New Mexico. In Tuscaloosa, Alabama. In Bentonville, Arkansas. In Lubbock, Texas. In Idaho Falls, Idaho. The biggest anyone can remember in Paducah, Kentucky, in Bozeman, Montana, in Pendleton, Oregon, in Frisco, Texas, and in Ogden, Utah. In Tacoma, Washington, pastors knelt in the rain, pleading with God. In Bowling Green, Kentucky, three rolling days of protests. In Owatonna, Minnesota, a student-led protest lasted for 10 hours. In Tulsa, Oklahoma, thousands gathered on the 99th anniversary of the Tulsa Massacre. In Myers Park, one of the wealthiest neighborhoods of Charlotte, North Carolina, where black people were prohibited from owning property for decades. And in Petal, Mississippi, where protesters have spent days calling for the resignation of Mayor Hal Marx, who tweeted last week that “If you can talk, you can breathe” ...

Here in the campaign finance paradise of New Gahania, we don't care shit for no damn revolution, because it's street sweeping season!

To which I answer:

Street “sweeping” should not be expanded. It should be ended. The physical process of “sweeping” is largely futile, and there is no United Nations storm water “law” stipulating dust cloud creation as a workable corrective to anything. Genuine drainage impediments like leaves and garbage barely are addressed by “sweeping.”

Until you've seen the townies on their front porches chasing Hostess doughnuts with iced tea and waving at the street sweeper drivers, you've no idea why people like Bob Caesar are elected to office.

Read more here:

ASK THE BORED (IN EXILE): It appears that street sweeping is suspended through April 7, although it should be eliminated altogether.

But there's more: The 4th of July on the 3rd of July is postponed!

New Albany postpones July 3 event following extension of public health emergency (at Hanson's Folly)

Well, at least there's still Harvest Homecoming ... what's that?

Nope. There'll be no waves of orange coursing through the streets this October, because New Albany's civic celebration also has fallen victim to pandemic public health logic. A very tough call for the committee, but absolutely the correct one.

Organizers cancel 2020 Harvest Homecoming Festival amid coronavirus pandemic (at WDRB)

And, there was a primary election and less than 25% of us bothered. This being a presidential year, the voter turnout percentage will increase tremendously in November, and Donald Trump probably will win Floyd County again.

In the interim, the big news out of the primary was the NA-FC school corporation's safety referendum defeat, by a margin of around 5%. Consequently, let's get something straight: Black Lives DO Matter, the COVID pandemic is absolutely real, street sweeping is a horrendous boondoggle, and Van Hagar was better than Van Halen.

Taking all this into consideration, do you really believe the Green Mouse has anything to say at all in the nature of a post-mortem about the referendum?

That'd be plain dangerous. Following are a few headlines.

What budgetary crisis? Nawbany nickel-and-dimes 50K for the homeless, then awards $2.2 million in tax abatements for Sazarac NOD.

LIVE TO EAT: Those new clothes you're wearing, well, they're a tad threadbare. That's regrettable.

Councilman Phipps' future council meeting emergency reduction resolution is another Team Gahan mess. Can it be tossed out with the rubbish?

Floyd County DemoDisneyDixiecrats issue courageously mundane statement about racism, then return to fundraising.

Warren Nash blames the county for his hemorrhoids ... and the GREEN MOUSE presents NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW.

Most of us spent the holiday weekend watching the COVID deniers merrily clustering together, which would be encouraging from a herd-thinning standpoint if it weren't hazardous for the rest of us.

By week's end yet another police atrocity against non-white Americans occurred, this time the murder of a black man in Minneapolis. This act of state-sanctioned violence prompted the usual defense of property rights and obliviousness to human life, both emanating from the very same three-percenters and their "penis proxies."

Here's a useful article that helps explain this cognitive dissonance, and you can be sure that it won't be linked at the city's web site any time soon.

When intolerant white people fear democracy may benefit marginalized people, they abandon their commitment to democracy.

Consequently, it's been a slow news week in New Albany apart from another instance of Jeff Gahan taking credit for someone else's investment: Here come the tax abatements for Northwest Ordinance Distilling.

We were forced to make do with other forms of entertainment, which the city's worst-ever former mayor provided at Facebook.

Warren, is it supposed to rain today? THE COUNTY GUVMINT DUNNIT!

Okay, but Warren, which pair is better, the original Duke boys or those one-season replacements? IT'S ALL THE COUNTY'S FAULT!

Um, okay. Do you have a nice recipe for barbecued bologna? MAKE COUNTY GUVMINT PAY FOR IT!

Admittedly it was a bit much for me to see Warren Nash state publicly that he doesn't block others on social media. Commendable, although he's conveniently forgetting the bigger issue of his beloved DemoDisneyDixiecrats, their flimsy respect for dialogue, and their equally squalid habit of squelching perceived dissent.

The full thread is here, and if you're interested in the gory details of the perennial party gutlessness, of which Warren is a functional and participating component ...

The Adamite Chronicles: Have muzzle, will drivel.

I haven’t stopped laughing since then. At precisely this pivotal moment of inexorably changing mathematics, when the Floyd County Democratic Party might have initiated an honest dialogue with its long-neglected left wing – as inhabited by genuine non-Dixiecratic Democrats and a formerly reliable but rapidly disillusioned cohort of left-leaning fellow travelers – for succor, it has chosen instead to espouse censorship and express its abiding hostility to ideas.

Can you even imagine Warren Nash, Adam Dickey or Jeff Gahan tending a stall at the marketplace of ideas?

Empty shelves ... or empty selves?

---

There were a few headlines of note this week.

Pints&union is taking a staycation this week, returning Tuesday 9 June.

In a nutshell, all the factors combining to make Pints&union an intimate, personable pub prior to COVID now militate against viable reopening strategies, not to mention our belief that the reopening is premature to begin with.

For at least so long as the state of Indiana maintains a relaxation of regulations for the greater good of pandemic recovery, there is an answer outside, beyond the doorways of ALL small independent businesses, not only food and drink.

It's time right now for City Hall to use our public spaces for COVID recovery.

Can City Hall conceive of such a thing without commissioning months of expensive studies from donor engineering and design firms?

In closing, Memorial Day 2020 likely will be remembered locally as the day we lost Lee Kelly, a true legend and sporting icon.

I turned my column space over to "not me" precisely because Matt's 2013 newspaper piece honoring Lee's retirement from teaching made for the finest of eulogies, in the sense that hundreds of thousands of daily interactions with thousands of students over a period of 40 years are the truest measure of Lee's substantial legacy. 

ON THE AVENUES: The late, great Lee Kelly -- by Matt Nash.

Have you been wondering about Harvest Homecoming in a time of social distancing? So has the Green Mouse. Maybe next week he'll put a cork in that bottle and start asking questions.

Homeless, be gone! It's the GREEN MOUSE with NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW.

The more things change, the more they stay precisely the same. It's not a coincidence, you know.

Delusion, meet narcissism: Jeff Gahan denies the reality of homelessness while proposing to demolish affordable housing options.

We'll get there in a moment. First, be aware that the Green Mouse is fond of the word kakistocracy.

kak·i·sto·cra·cy
/kakəˈstäkrəsē/
noun

Government by the least suitable or competent citizens of a state.

A state or society governed by its least suitable or competent citizens.

It's a recipe, or maybe a mathematical formula: Nawbany + kakistocracy = New Gahania.

It's a ruling clique of cronies, most prominently Jeff Gahan, Warren Nash, Adam Dickey, David Duggins and Shane Gibson. Josh Staten suffers a degree of cognitive dissonance because deep down he knows better, but being redevelopment chief implies a foot on the middle rung of the ladder. Todd Bailey, the chief of police? Yes, so long as he remains pliant and allows those streets to remain safe for automobiles.

Bob Caesar believes he's in the clique, although the good old boys just laugh at Bobby behind his back. Jason Applegate desperately wants to be part of the fun; for reasons that have little to do with his qualifications, the clique is willing to use him. That's why Applegate spearheaded Thursday's assault on the homeless (below).

The New Gahanian kakistocracy is all male, all white and all bound up with pay-to play monetization via the mayor's band of campaign donors -- but we already knew that.

A few weeks ago Allen Howie's Idealogy newsletter inadvertently addressed the fundamental problem with the kakistocratic clique's unpreparedness to deal with our new realities.

---

World War Z, the Tenth Man and You

In the 2013 Brad Pitt film, World War Z, a deadly virus washes over the globe unchecked, turning millions into zombies. But one place remains a safe harbor: Jerusalem, which managed to erect high walls around its perimeter before the outbreak reached the city.

Pitt’s character asks one of the city’s top officials how they were able to respond in time. He replies that they overheard communication from a small country about “zombies.” Why would you even pay attention to something so ludicrous, Pitt wonders.

The official then tells him about the tenth man, an idea created in the tragic wake of the Holocaust, the Munich Olympics and the Yom Kippur war — all events his nation’s leaders believed were impossible until they happened.

“If nine of us with the same information arrive at the same conclusion, it’s the duty of the tenth man to disagree,” he said. “No matter how improbable it may seem, the tenth man has to start thinking with the assumption that the other nine are wrong.”

What does all this have to with your company?

When you consider threats or opportunities, it’s often as a group. And what emerges is consensus — you act on the challenges or possibilities everyone can agree on. Outliers get voted off the island.

But a group can be wrong. A lone voice can be right. And in business, the greatest successes go to the contrarians. The early adopters. Those who question the assumptions.

So whether you’re thinking about an updated business model for this new normal, rethinking your marketing and messaging, or revisiting your product and service options, consider designating a tenth man.

Of course, the tenth man may be a woman. They could be (and maybe should be) someone from outside daily operations. Maybe even someone from outside your industry. They need to be someone who can speak freely without repercussions. Someone you’ll listen to. And someone with experience in thinking differently.

You’re as unlikely to have to deal with zombies as you are to hang with Brad Pitt. But every business would be better prepared for a rapidly-changing future if it embraced the idea of the tenth man. Who’s yours?

---

Who's Jeff Gahan's tenth man?

That's the whole point, because there isn't one, and there cannot be.

As we've observed for years, membership in the clique is based primarily on one abiding qualification, that Dear Leader's narcissistic genius is not questioned. It's intellectual inbreeding, and outside blood need not apply.

It's why the crisis of the pandemic is tantamount to Toto pulling back the Wizard's curtain; the coronavirus simply cannot be mollified with a $100,000 HWC Engineering study. COVID's ripple effect will expose municipal government's conceptual nudity, and it won't be a pretty sight.

Our kakistocrats don't know how to do their business if it's not business as usual. Grasping for straws, looking for something or someone to blame, they found an easy target.

Same as it ever was: the homeless.

New Albany turns down $50,000 request for homeless shelter, by Daniel Suddeath (Hanson's Christian Digest)

NEW ALBANY — Despite approving the appropriation unanimously on initial readings in February, the New Albany City Council rejected a $50,000 funding request for Catalyst Rescue Mission on Thursday night.

The vote was 6-3, with council members Al Knable, Scott Blair and Josh Turner supporting the request.

Those opposed to the measure cited their beliefs that not enough funding is going directly to programming for homeless residents after they enter the shelter, and that the New Albany Trustee's office is already providing many of the services that Catalyst offers.

Councilman Jason Applegate said that in reviewing the financial information provided by Catalyst Executive Director Jim Moon, only about $2,700 of the $50,000 would have gone to programming and food.

"I couldn't get over where it was such a small percent of this money that goes to the programs that help people," he said.

Can we be honest, just for a moment?

A garden-variety space alien beamed down to observe politics in Nawbany would require no more than ten minutes to grok this situation.

First, our DemoDisneyDixiecrats HAVE ALWAYS been hostile to funding requests pertaining to the homeless.

Second, Republicans were in favor of the Catalyst funding (well, except the perpetually befuddled David Aebersold), thus dooming it, given a pliant, boot-licking DemoDisneyDixiecratic majority.

I suppose we’ll see an editorial in Extol Magazine spinning the vote.

Kremlinology, gremlinology: It's the GREEN MOUSE with NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW for 15 May.

With a nod from infectious disease experts, who say it’s more difficult to contract COVID-19 in outdoor spaces (with proper social distancing) than inside, the mayor of Vilnius, Lithuania concluded that his city should become one “big open air café,” and early results are promising.

Even Greg Fischer is paying attention as he flees responsibility for the latest instance of LMPD misbehavior.

Many of us can see the merit in similar notions, molded to the peculiarities of New Gahania, where we don't have an open container law and the Indiana ATC is showing unprecedented signs of tolerance about altering floor plans to include outdoor seating.

A friend observed: "Why not close downtown streets to vehicular traffic every evening Tuesday through Friday and all day Saturday to allow for outdoor dining and farmers market activity, which would also support retail?"

The devil consistently resides in the details, but there would be definite possibilities of this sort ... alas, if not for the stupefyingly predictable automobile-centrism of Jeff Gahan's motorheaded City Hall.

As when Dear Leader nods dully, eyes vacantly staring into space, while the state of Indiana doubles down on the Sherman Minton Bridge repair work, then wobbles off to supervise the painting of gigantic automobile murals on the parking garage.

It simply has to be a variety of sexual fetish, this need to chop down trees and breathe exhaust fumes.

But maybe Mayor Gahan is in need of an intervention. He seemed even more morose in this week's ceremonial ProMedia video. Is he okay?

Depression is a very real consequence of crises like ours, and with Indiana's GOP leadership okaying an aggressive economic reopening program, Gahan is even more isolated than before, unable to get past creatively remixed gurgling sounds in response. He might have applied his own timetable, although this would require having one.

Earlier this week City Hall pulled the plug on its reimbursement-for-restaurant-employee meal plan. It probably helped a little bit, but Holcomb's timetable removed the need for Gahan to cling to his self-congratulatory $30k symbolism.

Expect the nickel-and-dime chicanery to continue as the pandemic's implications for the city's budget grow ever more obvious, not to mention incapable of being explained away via by-the-numbers propaganda videos.

Hilariously, the Democratic majority on New Albany's city council has decided to suppress transparency even further with a proposal to limit council meetings to a single monthly session (thanks Diane for the visuals).

And just look who is introducing this measure to reduce the council's work load at precisely the same rate of pay as before.

Allow me to repeat: for so long as Gahan's jury-rigged budget was copacetic, those were HIS numbers, but when the feces hits the fan, these five DemoDisneyDixiecratic city council members will learn that it's THEIR budget, and they'll be sacrificed faster than Donald Trump can wolf down a Whopper.

One meeting a month?

Yawn. Can you let me know when our bootlicking council Gahanites decide to give back half their pay packets?

Speaking of selfless altruism (or mental masturbation; I have SO much trouble telling them apart), Squire Adam earnestly endorsed the school corporation's safety referendum on behalf of DemoDisneyDixecrats in a stirring, purely politicized letter to the local chain newspaper.

The Floyd County Democratic Party announced last month it was endorsing the New Albany Floyd County Consolidated School Corporation’s (NAFC Schools) Safety Referendum. The endorsement was made official by a unanimous vote of the party’s 120 member Central Committee.

You know, unanimity, like when the 3rd Plenary Session of the 11th Central Committee of the Communist Party re-elected Chairman Mao yet again without a single dissenting vote. As a friend put it after reading this letter, "our Adam isn't exactly Abe Lincoln at the word processor, is he?"

Adam's words got to me, right here ... in my big toe, the one where the gout lives.

The word "Kremlinology" (archaic usage) refers to "the study of the policies and practices of the former Soviet government," so called because these actions took place largely within the walls of the Kremlin in Moscow, where transparency was about as common as telling obscene jokes about Stalin's parentage -- to his face.

Experts in Kreminology looked forward to the USSR's annual May Day parades, where the assembled VIPs standing atop Lenin's Mausoleum to watch the missiles roll through Red Square gave clues as to who was in, and who wasn't. Whichever colorless, originality-free Politburo member was standing next to Brezhnev yielded bountiful clues about the succession, as opposed to a greater degree of anti-social distancing, with Siberia being an ultimate destination where a disgraced appointee could put 60 miles between himself and another prisoner. 

Ergo the first salvo in the the mayoral race for 2023 has been glimpsed, and it's ... Jason Applegate, who is the focus of this local chain newspaper article provides clear evidence that he's ahead of those other functionaries wearing furry caps and leaning unsteadily against the moldering walls of Bob Caesar's backyard garage.

And what of a fourth term for His Highness?

Won't happen, suggests the Green Mouse. A cushy job with HWC Engineering awaits, and besides, two pensions are better than one. The minions can clean up the mess, right?

Even better, just blame it on county government -- right, Slick?

Can the city afford NOT to demonize the homeless? It's the GREEN MOUSE with NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW.

On Monday our city council met remotely by means of Zoom, and once the body's president Tiberius Severus Octavian Elagabalus Septimius Augustus Claudius Hadrian Gluteus Maximus Caesar -- Protector of Fitting and Proper Scribnerian Values, Deliverer of all Downtown Datedness, Master of the Ex-Mercantile, and Guardian of the Gates -- also known as Bobby Bicentennial -- was convinced to surrender the tin cans and string, things went fairly smoothly.

Hanson's newspaper seems to be in transition as it approaches a date with room temperature, and our coverage comes courtesy of Noah, Diane and others who commented on Facebook.

As is its ancient, hallowed custom of indifference to the most vulnerable in our community, the Democratic Party-controlled council is opting to interminably delay any consideration of the annual outsourcing of homeless assistance funding to agencies in Clark County.

Recall that the city of New Albany's contribution to homeless assistance generally takes the form of demonizing them and bulldozing their tents. Why? Because the homeless induce gastrointestinal distress in Mayor Gahan and fellow (purely partisan) social architects like Squire Adam and David Duggins.

How can we be an All-Gahanian City when poor people keep embarrassing the purported left-wing "leadership"?

On Monday there was a vote to consider a vote to provide money to Catalyst Rescue Mission Homeless Shelter (the topic first was broached in February).

On Gahan's perennial instructions (he was socially distant long before it was cool), pretend-Democrats Collier, Caesar, Phipps, McLaughlin and Applegate poo-pooed the idea. Republican David Aebersold gave his internal consistency wheel a spin and joined the Democrats, leaving Republicans Knable and Turner, and the Independent Blair, to vote in favor.

I asked Mr. Phipps to explain his vote, coming at a time when unemployment and homelessness are up, and societal health and well being down, and he returned this dry, bureaucratic verdict.

We need to have a public hearing and find out more about how the large grant money they received will be used.

But at some point, isn't pinching more than a few pennies going to be necessary? Homeless funding might be put to better use polishing the rotors at River Run, at least when the Gahan's most wasteful achievement is allowed to reopen.

That's because the most fascinating aspect of Gahan's deeper-than-ever bunker residency during our COVID lockdown has been the ostensible continuance of "business of financial profligacy as usual" at the same time as virtually every other municipal entity in America is preparing for extreme pain.

From Houston to New York, America’s Muni Finances Are in Tatters, by Amanda Albright, Danielle Moran and Fola Akinnibi (Bloomberg)

In Dayton, Ohio, Mayor Nan Whaley has furloughed a quarter of the city’s workforce and is warning that more cuts may follow. In Baltimore, which has one of the highest murder rates in the nation, Mayor Bernard Young is negotiating layoffs with the police union. And in Houston, Mayor Sylvester Turner is deferring all five police cadet classes.

New York’s governor, Andrew Cuomo, may have only been referring to his state when he declared on national television in March that “we are broke,” but he was, in a broader sense, speaking for the vast bulk of city and county and state governments in America.

Never before have U.S. municipalities been hit so hard or so quickly or in so many different ways as they are right now by the coronavirus pandemic.

Maybe HWC Engineering will bail us out for a change.

A yawning GREEN MOUSE presents NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW for 24 April.

New Albany remains in administrative double-secret COVID lockdown limbo as we conclude the sixth week of incrementally accrued Gahanesque imperial powers.

As The Economist pointed out yesterday, "Rulers everywhere have realised that now is the perfect time to do outrageous things, safe in the knowledge that the rest of the world will barely notice. Many are taking advantage of the pandemic to grab more power for themselves."

Rather than a city council meeting this or any other week, the body's button-down president Bob "CeeSaw" Caesar instead addressed the city's budget situation with a sing-along dial-up webcast from his backyard shed via a carrier pigeon named Zoom.

That's about all for news, folks. A quick recap, beginning with something genuinely amazing. After a quarter-century of nothingness, the city's downtown parking garage is receiving splashes of ... yes ... COLOR.

Say what? Look, it's a pandemic parking garage painting innovation.

The newspaper is diminishing, and the publisher is in denial.

The newspaper shrinks -- but let's leave psychiatrists out of it, okay Bill?

Hanson's not the only one. For the moment, my world's already gone -- and I won't kid you, it's been hard.

My homes away from home are gone, so the SOCIALIST is having BEERS WITH himself.

The relief effort continues at Pints&union, and if you're able, please consider a donation. Joe Phillips and our coordinator Jamie Yeager are doing the work of a half-dozen persons.

The LEE Initiative Restaurant Workers Relief Program at Pints&union, and how you can help by donating.

We don't need no stinking meetings, as the GREEN MOUSE presents NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW for 17 April.

The good news is that Republican mayoral candidate Kevin Zurschmiede finally has a platform.

The bad news is that Rush Limbaugh wrote it yesterday -- and the election was five years ago. Off to Facebook we go:

K: I’ve been saying for several years that life has been so good for so many of us for so long that we take it for granted that it always will be good.

Guess what -- We have reached a lengthy blip of uncertainty lasting for several days, weeks now, turning into months soon. If we do not act now many of our treasured day to day activities will be gone for years to come and many may never return.

See thoughts from Rush yesterday

---

April 16, 2020

R: All right this cannot go on, folks. It cannot go on. Even Barry Diller now is calling this cataclysmic, and it is cataclysmic ... We’re at a point now where no matter how many people die from coronavirus, it’s not gonna equate to the damage done to the U.S. economy. 22 million people are not working ...

 ... It is hurting all of us. And it’s scary that there are still people who want to maintain this and have it get even worse. Literally scary. But as I have been saying — I’ve been overusing the word — this isn’t sustainable. It hasn’t been sustainable for a month. It has to change.

(T)here are people who want to continue this. Why?

Jeff Gahan defeated Zurschmiede in 2015 (I participated as a candidate as well and tallied more votes as an independent than Dan Coffey did four years later), and Gahan's giving it his best Winston Churchill pandemic impression.

Also getting $1 million from the state is New Albany. Mayor Jeff Gahan said that the city is currently focused entirely on the coronavirus pandemic, but that officials look forward to moving ahead when the time comes.

“We continue to encourage employees and contractors to wash their hands, practice social distancing, wear DIY masks and other Personal Protection Equipment when it is available, but we are very happy to learn we are the recipient of Community Crossings Grant for $1 million," Gahan said in a statement. "This important grant allows us to extend our road repair efforts and to be fully prepared once construction resumes. Roads are selected by need from our Paving and Road Status Inventory that ranks each road in New Albany by condition. This street ranking and selection list is required for the Community Crossings Grant.”

Inspiring, and they're words that make me want to run out and storm a beach -- masked and socially distant, of course. It's like General Patton said: "The object of campaign finance is not to die for your TIF zone, but to make some other mayor die for his."

The biggest local story of the week came from John Boyle at the Newsy 'Bune: New Albany City Council cancels meetings during outbreak.

“My interpretation, the council attorney’s interpretation and the city attorney’s interpretation was that we shouldn’t have gatherings of 10 or more people and that the only city business that should be taken care of had to relate directly to COVID-19,” (council president Bob) Caesar said of his decision to cancel the meetings. “We didn’t need to take care of anything else. The mayor’s office would take care of everything else.”

Caesar contended that the city’s finances, along with entities like the police and fire departments, are in “great shape.”

If you can't trust the city's most prolific sycophant, who can you trust? Fortunately there are dissenting voices.

(5th district councilman Josh) Turner contends that the council should be holding meetings digitally, utilizing tools like Zoom. Other governing bodies in Southern Indiana have taken advantage of such tools during the pandemic.

The New Albany City Council did hold a virtual meeting last month to pass five funding resolutions to deal with the COVID-19 pandemic.

Jeffersonville City Council and the Floyd County officials have held meetings that were broadcasts using those platforms. Even in New Albany, the redevelopment commission and board of public works are holding meetings via Zoom.

Maybe Caesar's reasoning is more, um, personal.

If meetings were to be held over Zoom or any other digital platform, Caesar said only those with certain technological capabilities and savvy would be able to participate. “We can’t have public hearing, because people can’t come into our building,” he said. “You can’t just have one for people with access to those devices. You have to have it for everybody.”

Dude's still on AOL dial-up, isn't he?

Certain situations, Caesar noted, would call for a meeting. If an essential entity in the city were to need immediate assistance to make it through the outbreak, he said the council would spring into action.

One hypothetical situation would be a food bank, for instance, needing food or money to serve their clients.

“We’ve got to do something about that, and we will do something about that,” he said. “We will act extremely fast to get something like that done.”

At least CeeSaw has used the shutdown to hone his stand-up routine. Maybe he'll entertain us on YouTube soon, or more likely utilizing the latest in black and white Pathe newsreel technology prior to the Roy Rogers double feature at the Bijou.

Speaking of political maladroits, they come in all party affiliations. By the way, Tennessee Trey Hollingsworth, whose net worth of $50 Million Dollars makes him the 7th wealthiest member of Congress (deliciously, just behind Nancy Pelosi), wants to buy a vowel, or a consonant -- aw, what the fuck, daddy, just buy the newspaper for scrap.

In an exclusive interview with IndyStar Wednesday, Hollingsworth declined to say his words were poorly chosen but indicated he was trying to make a more nuanced argument about the need for better planning as the White House, Congress and other elected officials make tough decisions going forward.

"I believe that I stood up and said on a radio show, (that) we are going to have to make tough decisions going forward ," Hollingsworth said, "and we owe a plan that acknowledges the reality that the risk of coronavirus will never be equal to zero and there are costs associated with this shutdown of our economy, real costs that Hoosiers and Americans are bearing.

"What I got back was Trey wants people to die. I never said that, and it's not true."

Hollingsworth spoke more starkly to WIBC on Tuesday, saying Americans have to go back to their way of life, and it's the lesser of two evils versus the number of people who might die from the coronavirus.

Now if you're excuse me, I have to go take a shower.

Dining on the poor, part one: "Meet Joseph Albert “Trey” Hollingsworth III, the biggest goober in Washington."

Dining on the poor, part two: Trey "Big Boy Pants" Hollingsworth reminds us that capital accumulation comes before YOUR life.

How's the city budget faring? It's the GREEN MOUSE with NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW for 10 April.

Is the city of New Albany maintaining full feather-bedded municipal employment during the pandemic shutdown?

As noted often in the past, the city's budget has ballooned during the Gahan tenure, with the result being a sort of ongoing Ponzi scheme to keep budgetary snapshots in alignment for the purpose of keeping the state's regulatory eyes safely averted.

But now ...

Effects of pandemic will slam state, local tax receipts, by Lindsey Erdody and Samm Quinn (Indianapolis Business Journal)

Indiana state and local governments are set to lose tens of millions of dollars in tax revenue—maybe hundreds of millions—as the COVID-19 pandemic closes restaurants, stores and casinos and companies begin laying off workers.

The drop in sales, income and gambling tax revenue could wreak havoc on government budgets, first at the state level and later for cities and counties, just as the demand for government assistance like Medicaid is expected to ramp up.

And it’s too soon to know just how bad the fiscal hit will be.

“Obviously, we’re in uncharted territory here,” said Chris Watts, president of the Indiana Fiscal Policy Institute, which tracks state tax and budget issues ...

Very little about Mayor Jeff Gahan's style of governance is genuinely transparent, making this the perfect time for him to hunker with the inner circle to run the city without interference from elected officials.

Noting that a full-time communications director still is receiving paychecks (why?), Gahan has chosen to issue his latest "state of the city" message via the city clerk's council cancellation notice, in an e-mail with limited range but an obvious power hoarder's intent.

Due to the continuing public health emergency, Governor Holcomb's Executive Orders 20-04 and 20-09, as well as guidance from Indiana's Public Access Counselor, the New Albany Common Council meeting regularly scheduled for April 16th, 2020 is cancelled.

Council President Bob Caesar reports that he has been in contact with city officials regarding any needs they may have. The New Albany Police and Fire Departments state that they are in good shape and have no immediate needs requiring council attention at this time. The Controller likewise conveyed that the city's finances are in good condition.

The Council is able to meet if the need arises, but will continue to limit meetings during this public health emergency as public access is diminished.

"Rosie, you're all right."

Yes, the usual suspects vouch for themselves, without the slightest measure of verification from citizens, journalists or those crickets chirping from the bowels of the Reisz Mahal.

Caesar remains as unspeakably dull as a bowel of chilled steel-cut oats, but he -- and his fellow sycophantic DemoDisneyDixiecrats -- might take a few minutes from quarantine time to ponder the way Gahan quickly will shift the blame for the budgetary pain from himself to them once the time for reckoning arrives.

Thus far during these pandemic weeks, principled dissent has been hard to find in Nawbanian political circles with a notable and laudable exception, this being newly elected 5th district councilman Joshua Turner.

Once again, Gahan's well-lubricated elites are being lapped by Jeffersonville. The same local left-leaners who pine to become Kentuckians and hop aboard the Andy Beshear Express might not be able to appreciate the irony of being better off if their mayor was Mike Moore, a Republican.

The following appeared on CM Turner's Facebook "council account."

City Council President Bob Caesar has decided to cancel our City Council meeting for Thursday 16 April 2020. It is disingenuous to twist the Governor's Order to stop meetings. In reality, it is the opposite, his Order has enabled to carry on meetings electronically.

This is the third city council meeting that has been cancelled. Jeffersonville, Clarksville, Floyd County, Greenville, and even New Albany Redevelopment Commission have all had virtual meetings set up. I even had a Zoom meeting with constituents and members of Floyd County EMA last Saturday.

Today, I feel the need to talk about Transparency.

Today, transparency is easier and more accessible than ever before, for most of us we can even enjoy it from the comfort of our own homes. I believe transparency in times of crisis is one of our most vital missions. Keeping the people informed and safe should be at the top of all our agendas.

Transparency equals trust.

We need to be able to trust that our city officials will be accessible to the public now more than ever. We can continue with our regularly scheduled meetings not only as a way to keep the flow of information going but as a show of strength and solidarity that we can work together.

Non-transparent behavior can instill a sense of confusion in our community.

• By leaving us in darkness.
• By ignoring our voices.
• By choosing who wins and who loses behind closed doors without public input.

Now is time to understand exactly how important transparency is and how it can affect us on the local level if we are left unprepared.

As you all know there were several items that I requested and items that are coming before the council that need to be discussed all of which are below. All which President Caesar feels are unworthy of having a meeting to discuss.

1. I would like to have both the police and fire chiefs present to:

• a. Give a report to the council about their department’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic, including any impact on their budget.
• b. Detail plans for ensuring the ongoing readiness of both departments and for protecting the health and safety of officers and firefighters. Indianapolis PD is being hit hard but the pandemic.
• c. Answer questions from the council.

2. I would like to have the controller present to provide a report on the budget implications of the pandemic, including additional costs and anticipated revenue issues. In addition, I would like for the controller to answer questions from the council.

3. Third reading for appropriation of riverboat funds to Catalyst Rescue Mission

4. The annual TIF report which was approved by Redevelopment over their Zoom meeting Tuesday.

These four items are essential. The legislative and fiscal body of New Albany meeting regularly is essential. (Not meeting) is unacceptable.

COVID and COUNCIL -- or, GREEN MOUSE presents NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW for 3 April.

One thing's for sure: There couldn't be any better time to be an agoraphobiac than a period defined by social distancing.

In other news, this week Mayor Jeff Gahan redefined the terms of pandemic-era engagement for the city's parks department, and also campaigned for masking.

And this:

After meeting with himself by fax, Gahan suspends curbside street sweeping until further notice.

ASK THE BORED (IN EXILE): It appears that street sweeping is suspended through April 7, although it should be eliminated altogether.

Having granted the mayor's request for wide-ranging emergency powers, city council finds itself mostly, well, dismissed. At least one council member finds this situation disconcerting. Take it away, Josh Turner (5th district).

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In regards to the city council meeting being cancelled this upcoming Monday.

While I acknowledge the authority of New Albany City Council President Bob Caesar to cancel the council meeting that was scheduled for next Monday, I respectfully disagree with his decision and worry about the precedent it may set.

Thanks to Gov. Eric Holcomb’s executive order, we can meet electronically (as we did on the 27th), and, in the interest of transparency and accountability, we should take advantage of that ability.

As a result of Mr. Caesar’s decision to cancel, the third reading of the ordinance to appropriate riverboat funds to Catalyst Rescue Mission will be delayed. Mr. Caesar may not consider providing for homeless people to be essential business, but I do. Under the circumstances, I believe it is critical to the public health of not only our city, but to the public health of the entire the region. The pandemic has created significant, unforeseen expenses. Catalyst is on the front lines of the pandemic, helping some of the most vulnerable people in our community. 

Among other expenses, they have rented tents so they can separate their population according to health department guidelines. They are doing everything they can to help flatten the curve, and supporting their efforts should be a council priority.

For the next regularly scheduled council meeting, on April 16, I have requested that the following ESSENTIAL items be placed on the agenda.

1. I would like to have both the police and fire chiefs present to:

• a. Give a report to the council about their department’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic, including any impact on their budget.
• b. Detail plans for ensuring the ongoing readiness of both departments and for protecting the health and safety of officers and firefighters. My concern stems in part from what is happening in Indianapolis.
• c. Answer questions from the council.

2. I would like to have the controller present to provide a report on the budget implications of the pandemic, including additional costs and anticipated revenue issues. Evansville just cut its budget by $2.8 million, and we need to understand where we are and start planning appropriately. In addition, I would like for the controller to answer questions from the council.

Power grab: Gahan and Caesar want to install a convenient "emergency" dictatorship (NEW ALBANY WEEK IN REVIEW for Friday, March 27).

Don't look now, but Jeff Gahan's seeking to declare the dictatorship this afternoon -- and as always, Bullet Bobby Caesar's head is far up hizzoner's asp.

To wit: If COVID-19 keeps boards from meeting, let's just hand Gahan complete power over everything, because it's an emergency and we need to give those checks and balances a rest during a crisis.

For eight years I've been telling you that we'd get the truest glimpse of Gahan's character deficiencies if he ever had to face a genuine crisis. The coronavirus is, and we are: Gahan's predictable response is to grab more power (and the control of more money) while he can, taking advantage of the curve-flattening measures to fluff himself and the same old cronies. As Josh Turner (5th district) wrote:

(The resolution) will essentially give the controller, at the direction of the mayor, free rein to do whatever the mayor would like in the city with in regard to public works and safety. This type of power no one in government should have. This resolution should only be an option in the event of a major disaster like earthquake, major flood, nuclear disaster, etc. Not for when we are ordered to stay at home.

Here's the list of council persons who'll be asked to vote by Caesar, the ethically bankrupt council president who functions as a sort of obliging mistress to Gahan's every whim. Call them and remind them that democracies don't need dictators.

At-Large – David Aebersold
1202 Aebersold Drive
(812) 944-9823, daebersold@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – Jason Applegate
P.O. Box 1578
(502) 338-5083, japplegate@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – Al Knable, MD
2241 Green Valley Road
(502) 386-5051, aknable@cityofnewalbany.com

1st District – Jennie Collier
624 W. 8th Street
(812) 207-0476, jcollier@cityofnewalbany.com

2nd District – Robert Caesar (President)
614 Camp Ave.
(502) 552-7969, rcaesar@cityofnewalbany.com

3rd District – Greg Phipps (Vice President)
1105 E Spring Street
(812) 949-8317, gphipps@cityofnewalbany.com

4th District – Patrick McLaughlin
1739 Florence Ave.
(812) 949-9140, pmclaughlin@cityofnewalbany.com

5th District – Josh Turner
1851 McDonald Lane
(812) 641-1221, jturner@cityofnewalbany.com

6th District – Scott Blair
3925 Rainbow Drive
(812) 697-0128, sblair@cityofnewalbany.com

GREEN MOUSE presents Nawbany Week in Review ... and the siege begins.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was the week that was, and the week that was ... now bereft of our customary amusements ... wuz filled instead with uncertainty.

Those of you clamoring to live in fascinating, historically unique times, well, you got it.

I didn't bother reporting on the most typically Nawbanian story of the week.

There was to have been a city council meeting on Thursday, with the main agenda item being the annual request for homeless services funding of the sort where New Albany gives money to people and organizations in Jeffersonville in the hope that the homeless don't photo bomb Democratic Party re-election selfies.

Council president Tiberius Severus Octavian Elagabalus Septimius Augustus Claudius Hadrian Gluteus Maximus Caesar -- Protector of Fitting and Proper Scribnerian Values, Deliverer of all Downtown Datedness, Master of the Ex-Mercantile, and Guardian of the Gates -- also known as Bobby, decreed the meeting canceled, only to be reminded that this can be done only with a vote. Fidgeting followed, then the City County Building was closed to meetings in the interest of social distancing. Having always been socially distant, the council meeting finally was canceled owing to padlocks, and former councilman Dan Coffey immediately began posting again on Facebook.

Never, ever forget that I got more votes running as an independent for mayor than HE did. With this happy thought ringing in your ears (or was that my neighbor's HVAC equipment?), following are some of the week's headlines.

As for the first item, all I can say for sure is I know for a fact that state government is working on temporary changes to a few of the permits governing the ability of restaurants to sell carryout alcoholic beverages. When and how it will come down is above my pay grade, which currently is nothing.

And: Support your independently owned, genuinely local food and drink businesses, of which chain franchises are not -- sorry, folks, but those pesky facts again. 

Indiana is following suit as Kentucky temporarily allows alcoholic beverage carryout and delivery by licensed restaurants.

BEER WITH A SOCIALIST: COVID-19 may be driving me to drink, and that's fine because I'm walking, not driving.

ON THE AVENUES: If it's a war, then the food service biz needs to be issued a few weapons. We need improvisation and flexibility to survive the shutdown.

SHANE'S EXCELLENT NEW WORDS: Normalcy or normality? I've made up my mind.

City Hall, BOW take note and help as "New Albany Restaurants Transition to Curbside Pickup/Delivery Options."

Did you do this, doofus? Surrender your commercial driving license immediately.

New Albany Mayor Jeff Gahan and the Floyd County Democratic Party show support for small independent businesses, and this is to be commended.

LIVE TO EAT: These downtown New Albany restaurants are offering carry-out and curbside meals.

This just in: Gov. Holcomb's "Steps to Slow the Spread of COVID-19" include a shutdown of Indiana restaurants and bars (except for carry-out and delivery).

It won't be pretty: "You know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself."

It's the plague reckoning edition: GREEN MOUSE presents NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW for 13 March 2020.

Whether your name is Donald or Jeffrey, "There is nowhere here to hide waiting for the hurricane."

Or, in our case, the pandemic.

Green Mouse's Tip of the Week: There has never been a better time to stock up on paper towels. They’re floor to ceiling EVERYWHERE (right next to the empty shelves where those “other” paper products used to be).

Can you remember what you were doing when Elvis died? When the the first plane hit the first tower?

WHEN MARCH MADNESS GOT CANCELLED?

It's been the week when a great many people finally noticed an 800-lb gorilla called COVID-19. Given the economic and psychological importance adult Americans attach to watching teenagers play children’s games, the shit’s quickly gotten real -- and does anyone, apart from the dwindling WWII cohort, remember what it means when the “real” shit starts?

Very few, if we're to judge by the current spate of TP hoarding.

Not exactly the greatest generation, is it?

ON THE AVENUES: Keep calm and carry on.

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On Wednesday evening the newly elected 5th district councilman Josh Turner swapped the word “coffee” for “cocktail” and convened his regular constituent meeting at Pints&union, which is located in the 3rd council district.

That's because you can't even imagine Greg Phipps doing such a thing, can you? I suppose we'll have to borrow Josh as needed.

Turner recounted recent local events (roadwork, the Colonial Manor sale), took questions from the healthy crowd of 25 or so attendees, and then yielded the floor to councilman-at-large Al Knable.

Knable -- Doctor Knable -- said a few words about city affairs, then added several more on the topic of COVID-19; neither alarmist or in denial, he merely gave out the facts as he knew them at the time.

This meeting was a striking example of adulting, or "the practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially the accomplishment of mundane but necessary tasks." It would appear that “adulting” entered the dictionary only recently, when we needed a way to illustrate the sheer novelty of adults performing tasks previously taken for granted.

Recalling the words of that old book that people insist on quoting: “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I felt as a child, I thought as a child. Now that I have become an adult, I have put away childish things.”

Childishness? It's been so long since New Albany's DemoDisneyDixiecratic governing elite indulged in political adulting that when it finally happens, a party will be necessary.

With no more than 250 guests, natch.

---

Now a few headlines from the week when the toilet paper hit the van (and the SUV, F-150 and Range Rover -- any set of wheels, really).

There for a moment we thought ethics might have broken out in New Gahania, but it's probably just a false positive.

SHANE'S EXCELLENT NEW WORDS: We're utterly gobsmacked at an unexpected Extol absence.

Friends don't allow friends to drink green beer.

BEER WITH A SOCIALIST: Erin Go Blagh: "May the road rise to meet the rest o' ye, and Sláinte."

The mag's out, and you should get one.

The Spring 2020 issue of Food & Dining Magazine has landed, so pick up a copy and read our words.

I cancelled the newspaper of record, as it was beginning to sound like a broken Biden record.

Democratic primary coverage is why WE cancelled OUR New York Times subscriptions.