Pillar Awards: It's high time Develop New Albany recognized downtown businessman Todd Coleman.

Nearly every field of human endeavor has a regular prize. And nearly every prize seems to regularly go to a clearly undeserving winner. Woody Allen’s character complained in Annie Hall, “They’re always giving out awards. Best Fascist Dictator: Adolf Hitler.” If an award like that really did exist, though, they’d probably end up giving it to Mussolini.
-- Jonathan Chait, writing in The New Republic (2009)

Just to ensure the usual suspects don't willfully misread the preceding quote, kindly note that I AM NOT comparing any local person to Hitler or Mussolini, although the Market Street North Side Only Median beautification project probably would win an award for "Best Ceausescu Knockoff" in the Totalitarian Architecture Awards (they're not the Oscars, but the Ta Tas).

Rather, I'm here to file a nomination for Develop New Albany's Pillar Awards, even though I'm aware of the ironic implications, given that the Pillar Awards are almost meaningless; I don't care about them and neither does my nominee, but fair's fair and it's time the beautiful people boarded the damn train and gave some credit to people outside their narrow field of vision.

To be specific, Todd Coleman should get a Pillar Renaissance Award. He probably also should get a Pillar Foundation Award. 

I'm not going to belabor the point or get frilly about it. Just this: Todd would be a deserving winner.

Todd has owned properties downtown for decades. He has successfully run Classic Furniture downtown for just as long. He hasn't always marched in lockstep with the expectations of newcomers, but maybe -- just maybe -- Todd has been savvy enough to wait and see if other improvements are deep-rooted or ephemeral before reaching into his wallet. 

Now Todd has reached into his wallet, and he's doing work on all his properties. I don't know how many windows he has replaced on these properties. To be sure, he received money from the Horseshoe/Caesar's Foundation to facilitate this work, but I know he's also spent a pretty penny of his own. The entire facade improvement process was weighted to provide maximum assistance to Schmitt Furniture, but Todd has done more improving with less assistance in a shorter period of time.

Yes, it's true; awards like these are hokum in the main. But to repeat, fair's fair. Todd Coleman deserves recognition for his perseverance, as well as his decision to upgrade his properties. Let's hope DNA finally "gets it," if not this year (noting the "finish by" requirements), then the next.

From DNA's website:

Pillar Renaissance Award
The Pillar Renaissance Award is intended to recognize an individual, business or organization that has made a significant investment in physical improvements to the downtown and uptown areas. One to three awards will be granted in any one year.

The investment might be in renovating historic structure, building a new structure, or renovating a non-historic structure and should have been substantially completed in the previous year ending May 31st. The number of awards granted will be determined by the Directors of the award program based upon nominations received.

Pillar Horizon Award
The Pillar Horizon Award recognizes a new or emerging business or organization. Nominees should have been in downtown or uptown areas five years or less.

Pillar Foundation Award
The Pillar Foundation Award recognizes a business or organization that has proved to be a foundation to the downtown or uptown areas.

Nominees must have been in business for 10 years or more

Pillar Achievement Award
The Pillar Achievement Award recognizes an individual who has made a significant contribution to the downtown or uptown areas. The contribution may be through one significant project or through years of ongoing service.

Examples Include:​

• An individual in public service who has demonstrated commitment to the business districts.
• An individual affiliated with a business or non-profit organization who has personally contributed to the downtown or uptown areas.
• An individual who has been responsible for a specific renovation or development project.

Since when is Brad Snyder the superintendent of schools? We thought Jeff Gahan claimed credit for education, too.

It's all about the foundation of a strategic plan for the school corporation ... oh, and by the way, in the small print, there'll be yet another referendum.

I wonder if Mayor Seabrook will give the school corporation back to Brad Snyder -- assuming the departing Deaf Gahan doesn't try to sneak the education budget out the back door in his lunch pail on December 31.

NAFC schools seek input to decide future of district, by Tara Schmelz (Tom May Biblical Inerrancy Compendium)

NEW ALBANY – The New Albany-Floyd County Consolidated School Corp. is finishing up an $87 million capital project, thanks to the approved 2016 referendum.

Now, Superintendent Brad Snyder said he's being asked, "What's next?" for the district.

He talked to the school board Monday evening about starting three committees, dubbed strategic pillars, to help decide the direction the district will take for the next seven to eight years.

"This is not a strategic plan. This is the foundation of one," Snyder told the board. "I think we could have one by next summer."

The groups will focus on three areas: raising the academic bar, helping the social and emotional needs of students and master planning for the construction/renovation/upkeep of buildings.

Snyder said the purpose of the groups is to give all stakeholders, such as teachers, administrators, parents, board members and community members, a chance to have a role in the planning process.

"This is not my plan. This is the community's plan," Snyder said after the meeting.

Though the second group will also discuss the proposed school safety referendum, Snyder said the referendum is its own separate piece. He said he is meeting with various parent groups, the school safety commission and will meet with first responders and other community members to decide whether to move forward with requesting up to 10 cents per assessed valuation over the course of eight years, opening up $3.33 million per year for the district to fund additional security measures.

Snyder said if all goes well, he plans to ask for a town hall style meeting in late October/early November, where the community can voice concerns and/or support for the referendum prior to bringing it to spring of 2020 primary ballot.

Side-splitting Jeff Gahan stand-up comedy: "What I do best is listen to a lot of people."

Listening.

That's why he's here, you know.

Just one question: When has Slick Jeffie ever heard what's being said?

Watch Jeff Gahan abuse (a) the League of Women Voters' Q&A format, (b) Mark Seabrook and (c) the intelligence of voters.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Slick Jeffie's snarling true colors in last evening's non-debate.

I didn't attend the League of Women Voters' fix-is-in-non-debate, and here's why.

Jeff "No Debates" Gahan ecstatic as League of Women Voters ditches the candidate debate format.

At CNU 27 in Louisville, visiting New Urbanists got a tasty dose of Gahan's Big Lies.

What Bluegill wrote.

But hey; don't mind us. We just live here, and experience the sycophantic spin-doctoring every single day.

There are two references to NewAlbany below, clearly attesting (a) to certain intentional gaps in the glorious Gahan narrative and (b) to the power of political patronage-driven propaganda.

Did Gahan buy ads in the CNU27 program to ensure there’d be only one (his) side of the story? If so, let's hope he didn't use taxpayer dollars to spit-shine his own gleaming scalp.

A Week of Love and Struggle, by Lisa Schamess (CNU)

At CNU 27.Louisville, New Urbanists got a little verklempt

Panel of polemicists proposes an exciting non-Reisz city hall relocation idea.

These adaptive reuse pieces took a while to come together, but now it's my pleasure to offer an viable alternative to David Barksdale's City Hall's plan (or is it David Barksdale's City Hall's plan -- so very confused) to deploy millions of back-scratching dominoes (and dollars) so that the neglected/dilapidated Reisz furniture building might be used for city offices.

It works like this: first, Culbertson gets a new name.

Unoccupied since 2011 in spite of constant assurances, the historic structure at the corner of 8th and Champs-Ely-GAHAN becomes the mayor's new office.

There's enough square feet for an official state guest room with plenty of faucets for visiting campaign donors to wet their beaks.

There's ample space in the old Emery's Ice Cream Building for remaining municipal offices and city council chambers.

As Dear Leader often says, "if you're not out panhandling for papa, you might as well be residing in a closet."

Best of all, just a few hundred feet down the Champs-Ely-GAHAN is the acreage inhabited by the Democratic Party's most loyal voters.

This plan is a slam dunk, a home run and a bottomless pint glass, all in one. In fact, it makes so much sense that satire is rendered helpless. Say what you will, but this makeover is destined for a Mayor Jeff M. Gahan Lifetime Empillarment Award.

Yes, and by the way, Greg Sekula got some good ink from Dale Moss last week.

MOSSWORDS: Answering the call to preserve in Southern Indiana, by Dale Moss (Inexplicably Tom May-less)

JEFFERSONVILLE — If not in Birdseye, where a former commercial building burned, Greg Sekula may find himself again in Medora, home to an abandoned brick factory.

Or Sekula could be in Charlestown, weighing in further on in the bitterly-debated future for Pleasant Ridge.

Sekula directs our region’s office of Indiana Landmarks. In other words, he asks pointed questions, poses daunting challenges and, all in all, pokes his nose routinely in business you or someone might suggest is not his.

Out with the old, in with the new? Not so fast, Sekula urges ...

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Anchors aweigh as Gahan self-empillars and Duggins refashions public housing after his own albatross.

The Green Mouse has learned of a plan to transform the Mark of Duggins as a fashion accessory for certain community members. The conversation went like this:

After all, the anchor "branding" symbol was Dugout's idea in the first place, and now it has proliferated faster than cash-stuffed envelopes during paving season.

And yet -- alack and alas and those cute little paper umbrellas floating atop rum drinks at Applebee's -- future political aspirant Duggins cannot receive credit for his artistry.

As we know, all ideas must be seen to flow directly from the brain of Dear Leader, our Little Father, the Genius of the Flood Plain, bountiful font of wisdom and coagulator of all known sagacity.

The Green Mouse says that because Jeff Gahan has grown impatient with the strength and intensity of adoration boomeranging back to him, he'll be moving to implement a "fix" at the social event of the season.

Envelop New Albany is expected to agree wholeheartedly and commend the vastness of the sheer mayoral intellect that enables the organization's daily work.

The Lifetime Empillarment Award is to be renewable annually, as prepaid and sponsored by our friends at HWC Engineering, at least until January 1, 2020, when the plaques for 2017, 2018 and 2019 can be tied to the nearest available Mark of Duggins and lowered from his trademark Tower into Ohio River for safekeeping as the civic clean-up crews arrive.

As an addendum, NA Confidential has been unable to confirm whether New Albany Mayor Jeff M. Gahan or anyone working in the city's administration is under federal investigation or indictment for corruption, bribery or racketeering. It is standard policy of the U.S. Justice Department to refuse to confirm or deny the existence or non-existence of investigations or subjects of investigations. A similar policy exists at the F.B.I.

W. 1st crosswalk propaganda: Other cities allow artists to create art. Ours merely glorifies its own fix-is-in muddy anchor.