Council wrap: Then Bob Caesar said, "Can't we just load the opioid addicts on the cattle cars along with public housing residents?"

I skipped last evening's city council meeting, so in piecing it together, let's take a quick look at the single most dreaded object in the 200-year history of New Albany ... the dastardly Gibsonian menace known as the dictionary.

Antediluvian

a : made, evolved, or developed a long time ago: an antediluvian automobile ... that antediluvian relic known as a slide rule

b : extremely primitive or outmoded an antediluvian prejudice ... antediluvian in his politics

With this in mind, consider Bob "that box of Bicentennial records you have doesn't even exist" Caesar's stubborn opposition to treatment for those suffering from drug abuse during this, an epidemic of opioid addiction throughout Southern Indiana, an uncontested fact that Caesar insists could not possibly include "his" New Albany, where upstanding establishmentarians like himself do all they can to make surfaces LOOK better, even if the spit and polish never comes close to addressing fundamental conditions, which people like Bob Caesar understand about as well as I speak Estonian.

And then there's Greg Phipps, forever the faux progressive, perfectly eager to come down on the side of Caesaresque propriety. Do we have an opponent yet? Time to begin the campaign, folks.

As a side note, the reporter Beilman tweeted that Dan Coffey filibustered city officials speaking time to indicate his support for Jeff Gahan's public housing demolitions, saying that we should scatter the poor, not warehouse them.

Of course, Coffey has the luxury of knowing that while the mayor's cattle car call would dismantle sections of concentrated public housing along Bono Road, the real prize -- his bailiwick of the elderly at Riverview Towers -- not only will escape unscathed, but is up for rehab.

Just guess who'll claim credit for THAT come 2019.

The Green Mouse also reports that while the city council attorney decision didn't make the newspaper, the choice was Amy Stein, which means that Coffey didn't get his way after three solid months of backroom machinations -- and the Wizard is said to be none too happy.

Is Coffey back outside the tent, pissing in? Only Mike Hall knows for sure, and in any case, a cash-stuffed envelope in exchange for auctioneer services should do the trick.

New Albany City Council enacts annual sewer rate increases, by Elizabeth Beilman (Hanson Does Omelettes And You Can Too)

First increase to come July at 3 percent

NEW ALBANY — Come July, New Albany residents should expect to see higher sewer bill charges.

SNIP

"I’ve had a lot of calls on this from a lot of different people, and they’re all extremely worried about this," Councilman Bob Caesar said. "I don’t know exactly where these may go, and I know we have a moratorium on [new clinics] right now. My question is instead of allowing them two places to go, I would almost rather fight this in court and not allow them any place to go ...

"I don’t know if that would help the matter or if that would hurt the matter."

City Attorney Shane Gibson said you can't outright ban a legal business.

Bipartisanship, Nawbany-style: Jeff, Adam and Pat sacrifice a fellow Democrat so Danny C. Trump can place a Republican as council attorney.

Earlier: Council Power Poll: Join us as Dan Coffey selects the next city council attorney.

Quoth the Green Mouse: "Consider this."

All 6th district councilman Scot Blair must do to see a Republican installed in the council attorney seat is vote with Dan Coffey and the three "real" sitting Republicans, and voila: Kristi Fox is right there, seated next to Coffey.

Scratching your head, you wonder if this is what the Three Democratic Stooges had in mind during the six weeks they spent chasing Matt Lorch around the council chamber with a rubber knife.

Slapstick Troika: "We have come here to remind Lorch that his future in the party requires being a good soldier and stepping aside, not to praise him."

Lorch: "I'm not dead yet."

ST: "Stop running around the room. This is for Gahan's your own good! Don't you want us to allow you run for judge again?"

It's funny how when Trump does it, local Democrats are outraged, but when they do it ... we're supposed to rise and salute.

Council Power Poll: Join us as Dan Coffey selects the next city council attorney.

Don't forget, because it's White Supremacist Night at Monday's meeting: Seize the gesture and read the city council's non-binding "Resolution Condemning the Promotion of Intolerance."

Having succeeded in deposing longtime city council attorney Matt Lorch at the behest of Guido Cappuccino, Team Gahan now turns to fixing a successor. The packet for tonight's meeting includes resumes from three potential candidates.

Steven S. Lohmeyer
Kristi L. Fox
Amy Rebecca Stein

Lohmeyer's CV runs to the length of a Tolstoy novel, including details about his distinguished local family's preferred brand of kitty litter and where they vacationed in 1986.

Fox practices law with her father, a noted local Republican, which will disqualify her from service until January 1, 2020, when Admiral Dickey will have run city Democrats aground as effectively as he has the ones in the county.

Stein practices law with her father, a noted local Democrat, and she appears to be the most left-leaning option (in the context of right-wing NA). This should prompt much spittle and bile on the part of Dan Coffey, who didn't knife Lorch in the back to be seen seated next to a liberal twice monthly.

In the absence of other candidates, my guess is Lohmeyer as prohibitive favorite, but don't take my word for it.

Ask Jeff Gahan what Dan Coffey thinks -- then flee the stench accordingly.