Monday, October 02, 2006

One fine Sunday spent "street spam" sharkin'.

Street spam sharkin’ is a fun and relaxing hobby. You get to go outdoors, walk or ride the bicycle for a bit, then come away from it knowing that you’ve contributed to the beautification of the urban environment.

I took advantage of Sunday’s brilliant autumn weather to try out my brand new street spam removal facilitator.

It’s a veritable masterpiece of simplicity, and one made necessary since the city’s street spammers began lifting their illegal and tacky contributions higher than earthbound sharks like myself are able to leap.

My first cast was in the perfect spot – near the point of leverage between sign, staple and utility pole.

There – he’s taken it! Don’t let him get away … don't worry. Got him!

Believe me, this beauty’s not going anywhere -- except into the hamper with the others.

I caught seven big ones in less than an hour (and 12 kilometers traveled).

They’re a breeze to filet, and almost boneless.

I recommend pan frying with olive oil, flour, salt and a pinch of Thai red curry seasoning.

Just add bread, and the finished product should look something like this:

But remember that when you’re out street spam sharkin’, don’t touch ‘em if they look like this (photographed at the aquarium at the corner of Market and Pearl).

They’re all boney and mud veined, and I’m always afraid the smell of hypocrisy will rub off on my hands and clothes. Take the high road, and leave the bottom feeders alone.

Happy street spam sharkin' to all New Albanians ... and don't forget, it's a city council Monday!


Highwayman said...


I have to get up around 2:30 AM for a 4:00 AM delivery in the morning so I’ll probably be absent this evening. I looked at the online agenda & it looks kind of tame but take good notes and report back if you would be so kind.

The top two items on the list triggered some interest. Something about transfer of funds? I thought the Gang of Four were totally against such illicit practices of borrowing from Peter to pay Paul! I also was under the impression that the city was bankrupt! From whence did these transferable funds come??

And the saga continues!

By the way, you could probably patent that street spam tool and add it to Richo’s Gift Shop list!

Tommy2x4 said...

love it! i was laughing out loud when i read this!