Sunday, January 16, 2005

Live from New Albany ... it's Sunday night!

( … so for quality when it counts, ask your doctor about Levitra, a medication for erectile dysfunction ... )

( ... da duh da duh – daaaah DUH! … applause ... )


Yes! All right! James Carter and the NA Confidential Founders Jazz Band! Take a bow, James, you're looking great – hey, was that a Bix riff there at the end?

(yeah, Rog, right out of “In a Mist”)

I thought so. Can’t fool an old timer like me.

(laughter)

Welcome back to NA Confidential. Our next guest is Amany Ali, City Editor of the New Albany Tribune in New Albany, Indiana.

Thanks to her popular nationally syndicated Sunday column, “It’s All About Me” – boy, she tells it like it is and like it should be – anyway, Amany has just landed her first talk show on the Springer Channel, and it’s called … well, what do YOU think it’s called?

(crickets chirping, cell phone beeps)

Oh, c’mon, doesn’t the studio audience have a pulse? Over here, espresso cart! What, the boys in the band don’t play loud enough to keep you awake?

(wah-wah-WAHHH; audience giggles)

All together now, after me … Amany’s cable show on the Springer Channel is … that’s right ...

IT’S ALL ABOUT ME!

(applause)

That’s more like it.

Okay, ladies and gentleman, please join me in welcoming Amany to NA Confidential. She’s going to be reading her latest release, and folks, this is the real thing – we’re a lip-synch-free zone, you know – so here she is, Amany Ali!

(curtain opens, enters to “Ride of the Valkries,” smiles and waves, and wild applause as she begins reading)

Nazi garb is never good … by Amany Ali, City Editor*

“Amany, you need to have your own show.

“You might be surprised how often I hear that statement. From my brothers and sisters to friends and acquaintances, I’m told more and more that my voice needs to be heard nationwide.

“I agree.

“I always have something to talk about. And I can talk to anybody. From the grocery store clerk, to the gas station attendant, to the people who change the oil in my car and even random people I meet while shopping. Most people are friendly when I break out into conversation; there are only a few people who look at me like I have a second head.

“I think the fact that I’m brutally honest, couple with the fact that I analyze topics to death, are what drive the need for my own show.

“My siblings, friends and co-workers are usually subject to my homespun rhetoric that is sometimes colored with words that could make some people blush.

“My most recent tirade came after reading a story and viewing photographs of England’s Prince Harry, who apparently left his brain at home when he decided to wear a Nazi uniform as a costume that was adorned with a swastika on the sleeve. Prince Harry wore the costume to a private party.

“According to the Associated Press, Prince Harry apologized for ‘a poor choice of costume.’

“Poor choice of costume?

“I don’t understand why the uniform was even available for purchase. And I don’t understand why anyone with half a brain and a shred of common sense would even look twice at such a costume, much less wear the thing.

“Dutches of York Sarah Ferguson defended Prince Harry, saying ‘I want someone to stand up for him and say he is a very good man, and I’m that person. Because I know what it is like to have a very bad press and to be continually criticized. It is very tiring and it is very unpleasant.’

“Prince Harry very well may be a ‘good man,’ but there’s no way that he can blame this most recent act of ridiculously bad judgment on bad press. The Prince simply made one of the worst, most inconsiderate decisions ever.

“Perhaps the Daily Telegraph’s Tom Utley said it best with: ‘All these excuses boil down to one: That Prince Harry is a stupid young man, who meant ho harm. That is what I would like very much to believe. But if it is true, then we are not talking about an average level of stupidity. We are talking about stupidity on an absolutely monumental scale.’

“According to CNN, Harry’s brother Prince William took part of the blame because he said he was present when his brother selected the costume at a shop in England. That’s amazing.

“According to the Associated Press, Jewish groups have encouraged Prince Harry to visit Auschwitz, where millions perished in gas chambers or died of starvation and disease.


“I suppose being educated is a start. But Prince Harry can do a couple things before making decisions: Think, and use the common sense that God gave him.”

* Amany Ali's column was transcribed verbatim from the Sunday Tribune, January 16, 2005.

2 comments:

The New Albanian said...

I was wondering about this myself. It points to the inadequacies of a Blog as a conversational forum - sans moderator, bizarre things may well occur.

All4Word said...

This blog thing????

If it draws readership (and more importantly, responses), I think it deserves a little more respect than to be called "this blog thing."

But then again, our micro-journalist NA Confidential has expressed his opinions about the propriety of "demanding" respect. You really can't insist on being respected. You have to earn it and graciously let it come to you.

Maybe someday the professional commentariat will see the blog for the vital contribution it makes to community discourse...someday.

With respect to Ms. Ali's stance vis the Palestinians, I think all of us who eagerly await her weekly column would agree that it's unfair to attribute any neglect or enmity toward their plight.