Monday, November 12, 2012

That's no ordinary piece of abandoned concrete.

The Green Mouse has learned that soon-to-be-former Floyd County Council kingpin Ted Heavrin, who was ousted from office in the 2012 Quasi-Democratic primary, plans to secede from the county and establish a new administrative unit called the Union of Fiscally Responsible Public Officials (UFrpO), to be located on this concrete platform in the middle of Sam Peden Community Park’s fowl lake.

Heavrin’s inspiration is said to be a photo he saw on the Internet.

It’s the Principality of Sealand, located off the coast of the United Kingdom.

Because the new unit has absolutely no revenue, the budget is non-existent, and this is fine with the founder and sole occupant.

“During my entire council career as a pretend Democrat, I never wavered from the belief that revenue is impossible,” Heavrin observed in a freshly mimeographed press release.

“We’re always better off starving than aspiring, I always say.”

But where there is an iron will, there is a way.

“I’m considering entering the UFrpO into next year’s Bicentennial Art contest," writes Heavrin, "because of course I’ll win, and I hear they pay a few bucks to the winners. After all, I need a rowboat to get out there, and a shovel for all that duck shit. Of course, I’ll be buying something third-hand.”

NA Confidential would like to be the first to formally recognize the UFrpO, and we look forward to hearing the national anthem while we're walking on the beltway.

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