Crawling on my hands and knees through the Sunday morning mud, blood and beer outside the darkened and shuttered Luddite Bar & Grill … deathly silence, where only hours before Lite-swilling customers were morosely chanting along while the jukebox played “movement approved” ditties like “Our Pink Panties” and “Trog Sham’s Blues” … barely able to squeeze my adult hand through the matchbook-sized rear window … trusting the senses and fearing the vicious Chihuahua … then, suddenly, finding what I was looking for and gently extracting it from the impossibly small aperture … it’s a piece of paper, scrolled, and I see the title:
What They Don't Want You to Know
In order to understand the oppression of the little people you need to realize that everything is controlled by a good old boys made up of constituency for progress with help from vested interests.
The conspiracy first started during city council votes in Scribner Place. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including stormwater drainage dispute.
Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by book reading.
They want to defibrillate Concern Taxpayer and imprison resisters in Destinations Booksellers using ox carts.
In order to prepare for this, we all must speak out loud. Since the media is controlled by Baylorites we should get our information from Valla Ann.
Actually, the preceding was composed with the assistance of “Make Your Own Conspiracy Theory”, a random conspiracy generator and offshoot of www.turnleft.com.
When I read the results to Diana, she said, "so that's how the newspaper gets the story."
Not to mention the Gang of Four.