The end of summer holiday was uncharacteristically rich in news items.
Silvercrest, in New Albany, to house seniors (News and Tribune).
The endangered Silvercrest site has been purchased by local developer and Southeast Christian stalwart Matt Chalfant, who sees senior citizen housing as its future. Area preservationists are both relieved and wary; Chalfant’s previous record as a developer is long on cornfield conversions and short on adaptive re-use. It is as yet uncertain whether religious litmus tests will be required for lodgers.
Ind. Decisions - "Court stomps Indiana wine shipping laws" (Indiana Law Blog).
As Indiana’s wholesalers babble nonsensically and pose grim (and unrealistic) scenarios of Internet alcohol sales to minors, there’s been another welcome chink taken out of the armor of their diminishing monopoly: “Two years after wine lovers thought markets had been opened to them, a federal court in Indiana may have finally kicked down the doors.”
Hearing set on New Albany district borders (Courier-Journal).
Under pressure from a federal lawsuit and after years of delay, the New Albany City Council is finally taking steps to redistrict itself. A public hearing to get residents' views on redrawing the boundaries of the six districts from which council members are elected has been set for Sept. 14.
In other words, having been forced into compliance at the point of a court edict, city council president Larry Kochert now emits bountiful sweetness and light with regard to redistricting. Isn’t it funny how federal mandates tend to focus one’s concentration on matters previously deemed unimportant?
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Monday, September 03, 2007
Are we having fun yet?
Welcome to our second big day of "reorganization" in preparation for the New Albany Historic Home Tour next Saturday.
Hoosier style
I'd rather be in Philadelphia ... but seriously, at least matters will be simplified for the annual NA Confidential HH parade party on October 6. A hint: There'll be Progressive Pints at both.
Hoosier style
I'd rather be in Philadelphia ... but seriously, at least matters will be simplified for the annual NA Confidential HH parade party on October 6. A hint: There'll be Progressive Pints at both.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Off to do cleaning.
I wish it were possible to report that I'm taking the day off, but alas, it isn't possible.
We may be back on Labor Day. Maybe not.
We may be back on Labor Day. Maybe not.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Please, make it stop. I'm laughing so hard ...
... my sides hurt.
GOP officials: Craig to resign Saturday (Associated Press)
Idaho Republican Sen. Larry Craig will resign from the Senate amid a furor over his arrest and guilty plea in a police sex sting in an airport men's room, Republican officials said Friday.
Each time we reference stories like these, my conservative friends across the aisle are quick to note that such foibles aren't restricted to Republicans.
That's true. But when it comes to warfare against their own natures, and the hypocrisy it engenders,"social agenda" Republicans plumb the depths of self-abnegation more efficiently than most.
GOP officials: Craig to resign Saturday (Associated Press)
Idaho Republican Sen. Larry Craig will resign from the Senate amid a furor over his arrest and guilty plea in a police sex sting in an airport men's room, Republican officials said Friday.
Each time we reference stories like these, my conservative friends across the aisle are quick to note that such foibles aren't restricted to Republicans.
That's true. But when it comes to warfare against their own natures, and the hypocrisy it engenders,"social agenda" Republicans plumb the depths of self-abnegation more efficiently than most.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Potpourri: Sandkerwa N.A. tonight; Downtown Saturday tomorrow; remembering beer writer Michael Jackson.
New Albany’s second in a monthly series of Downtown Saturdays runs tomorrow from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. More than two dozen merchants in the city’s historic business district will be open, and many are offering special sales and promotions for the occasion.
Among them are three featuring prominently in a Louisville Eccentric Observer “Eat ‘N’ Blog” article this past week: North of the river, things are looking bright.
Now, three more restaurant openings in the city’s historic district — Treet’s Bakery Café, Speakeasy and Connor’s Place — have brought the New Albany dining scene close to critical mass … and there’s more coming.
If you’re downtown tomorrow, be aware that Treet’s will be open for breakfast and the Speakeasy for standard lunch hours, with Connor’s Place unlocking the doors on Saturday circa 2:00 p.m.
For more on the Downtown Saturday concept and the people who are organizing it, consult the latest issue of Develop New Albany’s newsletter, “The Renaissance Chronicle.”
----
The past week began fractiously. A disinformation campaign by discredited congenital obstructionists aimed at sliming the Carnegie Center was revealed here as bogus, and then, not to be outdone, a perpetually underachieving city council happily commenced suing itself.
A theocratic Indianapolis attorney came to town to stroke the inflamed libidos of trognonymous bloggers, ostensibly (and opportunistically) on the basis of property tax relief, although it bears noting that Eric Miller probably would be sending gays and atheists to Git-Mo if he were dictator.
The week ends with sadness as we note the death at 65 of renowned beer writer and journalist Michael Jackson, the colossus who was the founder of the good beer movement.
My thoughts are at the Potable Curmudgeon blog:
Grieving the Beer Hunter's passing: Michael Jackson, the Red Room and Louisville.
----
Speaking of beer, NABC's the place to be for the next week or two as we present our first-ever draft appreciation of primarily Northern Bavarian beer styles:
Sandkerwa NA, an homage to Bamberg’s beers, begins Friday, August 31.
Sandkerwa NA approaches on Friday, August 31 (final list and pricing).
Among them are three featuring prominently in a Louisville Eccentric Observer “Eat ‘N’ Blog” article this past week: North of the river, things are looking bright.
Now, three more restaurant openings in the city’s historic district — Treet’s Bakery Café, Speakeasy and Connor’s Place — have brought the New Albany dining scene close to critical mass … and there’s more coming.
If you’re downtown tomorrow, be aware that Treet’s will be open for breakfast and the Speakeasy for standard lunch hours, with Connor’s Place unlocking the doors on Saturday circa 2:00 p.m.
For more on the Downtown Saturday concept and the people who are organizing it, consult the latest issue of Develop New Albany’s newsletter, “The Renaissance Chronicle.”
----
The past week began fractiously. A disinformation campaign by discredited congenital obstructionists aimed at sliming the Carnegie Center was revealed here as bogus, and then, not to be outdone, a perpetually underachieving city council happily commenced suing itself.
A theocratic Indianapolis attorney came to town to stroke the inflamed libidos of trognonymous bloggers, ostensibly (and opportunistically) on the basis of property tax relief, although it bears noting that Eric Miller probably would be sending gays and atheists to Git-Mo if he were dictator.
The week ends with sadness as we note the death at 65 of renowned beer writer and journalist Michael Jackson, the colossus who was the founder of the good beer movement.
My thoughts are at the Potable Curmudgeon blog:
Grieving the Beer Hunter's passing: Michael Jackson, the Red Room and Louisville.
----
Speaking of beer, NABC's the place to be for the next week or two as we present our first-ever draft appreciation of primarily Northern Bavarian beer styles:
Sandkerwa NA, an homage to Bamberg’s beers, begins Friday, August 31.
Sandkerwa NA approaches on Friday, August 31 (final list and pricing).
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Should I have taken issue with the fiscally conservative random rumor generator? Or is doing so merely enabling dysfunction?
The Carnegie Center for Art and History’s primary fundraiser next Friday (September 7) is a wine, cheese, beer and auction extravaganza that just might be the most noteworthy annual example of cultural appreciation witnessed in New Albany.
Accordingly, last week the museum and its yearly event became a handy target for the disaffected lunatic fringe, with breathtakingly inaccurate gossip and gullibly conspiratorial disinformation gleefully being peddled by a local blogger to a chorus of approbation on the part of generally anonymous and presumably embittered sycophants.
Ritz, Whiz and Ripple: Envious troglodytes point random disinformation generator at the Carnegie Center, demand full investigation of wine and cheese.
In turn, regular readers know that I swiftly and decisively took public issue with the fiscally conservative random rumor generator’s irresponsible innuendos.
But should I have done so?
If so, did I do it in the “best” or “right” way?
In short, is it worth pondering the extent to which we as responsible, thinking elements in the blogosphere – and, more importantly, in the community outside the electronic media – bear an obligation to answer malicious and embarrassing examples of the New Albany Syndrome such as those being perpetuated over the weekend?
NAC readers probably already know where I stand on the topic.
I believe that one of the chief aims on the part of those suffering from delusional dysfunction – remember, we’re speaking here of people willfully confusing an impeccably law-abiding museum’s perennial fundraiser with an entirely imaginary covert partisan political slush fund – quite simply is to grind down the energy of the capable, and to erode shared sensibilities and common decency by means of attrition and obfuscation.
In short, creating disinformation is far easier than battling it, and while I acknowledge the difficulties, I remain convinced that it is our responsibility to answer the fibbers and rebut their odious foolishness whenever and wherever it occurs.
At the same time, friends whom I trust see it a bit differently, and here are the comments offered by two of them.
----
#1
Looking at this "sturm und drang" from up on the escarpment, I can't help but be reminded of the old saw: "Never argue with a pig; it'll just frustrate you and irritate the pig."
I am fond of all your spirit but concerned too much good energy is being wasted in argumentation with people who refuse to acknowledge a shared, just, and common good but only want to argue.
There's a feedback loop here that is a control freak's delight, especially for one grounded in contrariness (because it feels so good, because it's an easy way to feel powerful).
How many data points are needed? These people are not open to rational debate, they agree to nothing, they will never be allies. Yes, it is sick and built upon hundreds of subtle misinterpretations that feed only their game.
I suggest you let them use their energies to only torment themselves and not waste yours.
----
#2
… I do believe it's better to mostly ignore the cyber-snipers and slanderers here. Attention is what they seek, so attention is what I won't give. I think their worst fear is irrelevance.
----
What do you think? The board is open for discussion.
And, I hope to be seeing many of you next week, when I’ll be pouring Progressive samples at the Carnegie Center's fundraiser.
Appreciate the wake-up call, Con-Dem. I might have missed it.
Accordingly, last week the museum and its yearly event became a handy target for the disaffected lunatic fringe, with breathtakingly inaccurate gossip and gullibly conspiratorial disinformation gleefully being peddled by a local blogger to a chorus of approbation on the part of generally anonymous and presumably embittered sycophants.
Ritz, Whiz and Ripple: Envious troglodytes point random disinformation generator at the Carnegie Center, demand full investigation of wine and cheese.
In turn, regular readers know that I swiftly and decisively took public issue with the fiscally conservative random rumor generator’s irresponsible innuendos.
But should I have done so?
If so, did I do it in the “best” or “right” way?
In short, is it worth pondering the extent to which we as responsible, thinking elements in the blogosphere – and, more importantly, in the community outside the electronic media – bear an obligation to answer malicious and embarrassing examples of the New Albany Syndrome such as those being perpetuated over the weekend?
NAC readers probably already know where I stand on the topic.
I believe that one of the chief aims on the part of those suffering from delusional dysfunction – remember, we’re speaking here of people willfully confusing an impeccably law-abiding museum’s perennial fundraiser with an entirely imaginary covert partisan political slush fund – quite simply is to grind down the energy of the capable, and to erode shared sensibilities and common decency by means of attrition and obfuscation.
In short, creating disinformation is far easier than battling it, and while I acknowledge the difficulties, I remain convinced that it is our responsibility to answer the fibbers and rebut their odious foolishness whenever and wherever it occurs.
At the same time, friends whom I trust see it a bit differently, and here are the comments offered by two of them.
----
#1
Looking at this "sturm und drang" from up on the escarpment, I can't help but be reminded of the old saw: "Never argue with a pig; it'll just frustrate you and irritate the pig."
I am fond of all your spirit but concerned too much good energy is being wasted in argumentation with people who refuse to acknowledge a shared, just, and common good but only want to argue.
There's a feedback loop here that is a control freak's delight, especially for one grounded in contrariness (because it feels so good, because it's an easy way to feel powerful).
How many data points are needed? These people are not open to rational debate, they agree to nothing, they will never be allies. Yes, it is sick and built upon hundreds of subtle misinterpretations that feed only their game.
I suggest you let them use their energies to only torment themselves and not waste yours.
----
#2
… I do believe it's better to mostly ignore the cyber-snipers and slanderers here. Attention is what they seek, so attention is what I won't give. I think their worst fear is irrelevance.
----
What do you think? The board is open for discussion.
And, I hope to be seeing many of you next week, when I’ll be pouring Progressive samples at the Carnegie Center's fundraiser.
Appreciate the wake-up call, Con-Dem. I might have missed it.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Don’t judge a book by its cover, especially if it is written by prominent Indiana taxpayer advocate (and homophobe) Eric I. Miller.
Over at Freedom to Screech (blechh), the forever masquerading Vicky Ann Denschak is audibly gloating.
Someone important has been paying attention to “them.”
Seems “they” received a congratulatory letter from a man named Eric I. Miller, founder of Advance America, which at casual first glance might appear to be just another in a chain of check cashing joints or, more topically, one in a series of Boston tea party lobbying groups embroiled in the current Indiana property tax debate.
In his innocuous note to our decidedly non-existent professor, Miller restricts his comments to the usual “keep fighting the good fight” triteness, and these brief remarks are followed with the expected semi-coherent ranting on the part of the trognonymous blogging duo.
Lest the easily duped in New Albany believe that Miller and Advance America are all about saving their “monies” and nothing else, it’s important to know who Miller really is, and what his organization really stands for, because in fact, Advance America somehow weaves the abolition of property taxes to a bizarro-world “family values” and Christian supremacy platform of gay bashing, anti-abortion rhetoric and jackbooted flag waving. While the current emphasis is on tax reform, it doesn’t mean the rest of the Miller’s planks have been discarded.
It turns out that a diligent Indianapolis blogger (Advance Indiana) named Gary Welsh has been acidly commenting for quite some time on the putrid phenomenon of Miller, a one-time failed gubernatorial candidate and gay-baiting fellow attorney. While I might cite dozens of Welsh’s entries as an introduction, we’ll start here with just three:
Frame this: Long accuses Miller of misleading voters
Miller schools candidates to be just like him
Miller Enriched by Self-Dealing at Advance America
It isn’t a pretty picture, but then again, the Denschaks have seldom been discerning in their choice of political bedfellows.
To favor property tax reform, must one also favor depriving fellow citizens of human rights?
Just curious.
Someone important has been paying attention to “them.”
Seems “they” received a congratulatory letter from a man named Eric I. Miller, founder of Advance America, which at casual first glance might appear to be just another in a chain of check cashing joints or, more topically, one in a series of Boston tea party lobbying groups embroiled in the current Indiana property tax debate.
In his innocuous note to our decidedly non-existent professor, Miller restricts his comments to the usual “keep fighting the good fight” triteness, and these brief remarks are followed with the expected semi-coherent ranting on the part of the trognonymous blogging duo.
Lest the easily duped in New Albany believe that Miller and Advance America are all about saving their “monies” and nothing else, it’s important to know who Miller really is, and what his organization really stands for, because in fact, Advance America somehow weaves the abolition of property taxes to a bizarro-world “family values” and Christian supremacy platform of gay bashing, anti-abortion rhetoric and jackbooted flag waving. While the current emphasis is on tax reform, it doesn’t mean the rest of the Miller’s planks have been discarded.
It turns out that a diligent Indianapolis blogger (Advance Indiana) named Gary Welsh has been acidly commenting for quite some time on the putrid phenomenon of Miller, a one-time failed gubernatorial candidate and gay-baiting fellow attorney. While I might cite dozens of Welsh’s entries as an introduction, we’ll start here with just three:
Frame this: Long accuses Miller of misleading voters
Miller schools candidates to be just like him
Miller Enriched by Self-Dealing at Advance America
It isn’t a pretty picture, but then again, the Denschaks have seldom been discerning in their choice of political bedfellows.
To favor property tax reform, must one also favor depriving fellow citizens of human rights?
Just curious.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
More on the “American Dream” of rental property exploitation.
It’s a mellow morning accented by espresso, kippers and a multi-disc listening of the “Complete Stax/Volt Singles, 1959-1968,” and I’m hesitant to dive back into the rancor sure to be engendered by the topic of tax relief for rental property owners.However, to judge by curent readership, I'm on a roll, so what the hell.
Yesterday in a private e-mail, a longtime NAC reader expressed annoyance with the apparent emergence of yet another campaign to improve the desperate plight of starving rental property owners, whose dented and soiled tin cups are expected to become a recurring feature of local editorial pages:
This is a joke!
Indiana landlords to make plea for tax relief (Courier-Journal).
I think this needs a spot on your blog, and there should be a group called, “Citizens against the Slumlords.” Everyone needs to call Indianapolis and request that their representatives vote NO on tax breaks to slumlords until they bring their properties up to code. These are businesses and should be taxed as such! These are problems and eyesores that I’m very passionate about …
After reading this note, I composed an e-mail to Pat Harrison:
Greetings,
I'm the senior editor of the NA Confidential blog, and we share your concern with certain problems associated with rental property in New Albany and Floyd County, although our emphasis as long suffering residents -- i.e., single family homeowners – in New Albany's long neglected historic core centers on the absence of applicable code enforcement and the proliferation of "slumlords."
Having viewed your recent advocacy on behalf of rental property ownership, and likewise perusing statistics suggesting that a high rate of rentals runs hand in hand with overall societal decay, we'd like to ask you a couple of questions.
Now many rental units do you currently own?
Do you hold mortgages on these?
Do you support the enforcement of applicable codes for all citizens?
Thanks for helping us understand your side of this question. Rest assured that we will continue to publicly advocate meaningful codes and rental property inspections as a means of alleviating the problems that have been experienced with irresponsible rental property management, irrespective of the tax burden -- which is but one side of the coin.
Twenty-four hours later, we’ve not received a response, but the situation is being monitored.
Alms, anyone?
Monday, August 27, 2007
It was a productive weekend, so let the anonymous hate mail begin!
The past weekend was busy, with numerous festivals, picnics and events, and for some unknown reason, my muse wouldn’t let me be.
Redistricting: Grudgingly coming soon to a laggard city near you.
Council obstructionists, now burdened with the responsibility of fulfilling the redistricting mandate publicly, and with transparence, can now be counted upon to mobilize the misdirected malice of downtrodden ratepayers and (what else?) strenuously object to being forced to pay the legal costs accrued solely by reason of the council’s own vacuous indolence.
Ritz, Whiz and Ripple: Envious troglodytes point random disinformation generator at the Carnegie Center, demand full investigation of wine and cheese.
Seeing as incomprehension and disinformation are veritable birthrights of New Albany’s “little people,” it’s safe to assume that for at least some of them, neither an educational evening spent at the Carnegie Center for Art and History, nor the Center’s annual habit of pairing one such evening with a fundraising wine and cheese tasting, is quite enough to quell the pain and anger dwelling within the breasts of those for whom the existence of well-adjusted, rational people is an insufferable daily affront.
Randy Hubbard and the headlong flight from ideas.
Apparently Plan A is the hope is that (Doug) England will commit an unforced error capable of being exploited for electoral gain. There seems to be no Plan B. In the interim, Hubbard’s attempted gravitas seems increasingly less plausible than what is almost certainly the non-spinnable reality: A comprehensive absence of platform content, grasp and ideas on the part of a reluctant candidate desperately recruited by his own party for the sole reason of warding off an expected insurgency emanating from the upstart outsider residing at the Admiral Bicknell.
----
Turning to the national page, I haven’t seen yesterday’s New York Times, but last Sunday the inimitable Frank Rich offered another of his devastatingly accurate indictments of the lamentable “Reign of Error” otherwise known as the presidency of George W. Bush. It came at the end of a requiem for Karl Rove:
Last weekend's Iowa straw poll was a more somber but equally anachronistic spectacle. Again, it's a young conservative commentator, Ryan Sager, writing in The New York Sun, who put it best: “The face of the Republican Party in Iowa is the face of a losing party, full of hatred toward immigrants, lust for government subsidies, and the demand that any Republican seeking the office of the presidency acknowledge that he's little more than Jesus Christ's running mate.” That face, at once contemptuous and greedy and self-righteous, is Karl Rove's face. Unless someone in his party rolls out a revolutionary new product, it is indelible enough to serve as the Republican brand for a generation.
Speaking of entertaining collapses on the part of the GOP, the Tribune’s fine young guest columnist took the Republicans to task yesterday for abandoning one of their own in his time of need:
Where’s the loyalty?, by Daniel Robison.
Another local resident has made it to the big-time spotlight. Lately, he was all over the Internet, radio, newspapers — you name it. He was at the center of national debate; talking heads and bloggers yakked and spun prose, respectively, about his personal and professional life. Even Jay Leno made a joke at his expense — a tried and true indication that a person has hit the big time.
But this local is not famous; he is infamous. Fingered in a police report as committing a sex act on a sleeping man, president of the Young Republican National Federation and Clark County resident Glenn Murphy Jr., is now a poster child for what happens when one’s personal, professional and political lives meet at an unfortunate impasse.
Daniel exhibits praiseworthy compassion at Murphy’s personal plight:
But that is no excuse for how the GOP has hung him out to dry. If he’s eventually charged and convicted, fine, that’s grounds for cutting ties. But right now it seems that Murphy’s Republican friends and colleagues have abandoned him, and that’s no way to treat one of their own.
Fortunately, Murphy lives in kinder, gentler times, and he'll not be forced into the solution presented to Colonel Alfred Redl by the Austrian high command.
Not that Rove wouldn't have offered it ...
Redistricting: Grudgingly coming soon to a laggard city near you.
Council obstructionists, now burdened with the responsibility of fulfilling the redistricting mandate publicly, and with transparence, can now be counted upon to mobilize the misdirected malice of downtrodden ratepayers and (what else?) strenuously object to being forced to pay the legal costs accrued solely by reason of the council’s own vacuous indolence.
Ritz, Whiz and Ripple: Envious troglodytes point random disinformation generator at the Carnegie Center, demand full investigation of wine and cheese.
Seeing as incomprehension and disinformation are veritable birthrights of New Albany’s “little people,” it’s safe to assume that for at least some of them, neither an educational evening spent at the Carnegie Center for Art and History, nor the Center’s annual habit of pairing one such evening with a fundraising wine and cheese tasting, is quite enough to quell the pain and anger dwelling within the breasts of those for whom the existence of well-adjusted, rational people is an insufferable daily affront.
Randy Hubbard and the headlong flight from ideas.
Apparently Plan A is the hope is that (Doug) England will commit an unforced error capable of being exploited for electoral gain. There seems to be no Plan B. In the interim, Hubbard’s attempted gravitas seems increasingly less plausible than what is almost certainly the non-spinnable reality: A comprehensive absence of platform content, grasp and ideas on the part of a reluctant candidate desperately recruited by his own party for the sole reason of warding off an expected insurgency emanating from the upstart outsider residing at the Admiral Bicknell.
----
Turning to the national page, I haven’t seen yesterday’s New York Times, but last Sunday the inimitable Frank Rich offered another of his devastatingly accurate indictments of the lamentable “Reign of Error” otherwise known as the presidency of George W. Bush. It came at the end of a requiem for Karl Rove:
Last weekend's Iowa straw poll was a more somber but equally anachronistic spectacle. Again, it's a young conservative commentator, Ryan Sager, writing in The New York Sun, who put it best: “The face of the Republican Party in Iowa is the face of a losing party, full of hatred toward immigrants, lust for government subsidies, and the demand that any Republican seeking the office of the presidency acknowledge that he's little more than Jesus Christ's running mate.” That face, at once contemptuous and greedy and self-righteous, is Karl Rove's face. Unless someone in his party rolls out a revolutionary new product, it is indelible enough to serve as the Republican brand for a generation.
Speaking of entertaining collapses on the part of the GOP, the Tribune’s fine young guest columnist took the Republicans to task yesterday for abandoning one of their own in his time of need:
Where’s the loyalty?, by Daniel Robison.
Another local resident has made it to the big-time spotlight. Lately, he was all over the Internet, radio, newspapers — you name it. He was at the center of national debate; talking heads and bloggers yakked and spun prose, respectively, about his personal and professional life. Even Jay Leno made a joke at his expense — a tried and true indication that a person has hit the big time.
But this local is not famous; he is infamous. Fingered in a police report as committing a sex act on a sleeping man, president of the Young Republican National Federation and Clark County resident Glenn Murphy Jr., is now a poster child for what happens when one’s personal, professional and political lives meet at an unfortunate impasse.
Daniel exhibits praiseworthy compassion at Murphy’s personal plight:
But that is no excuse for how the GOP has hung him out to dry. If he’s eventually charged and convicted, fine, that’s grounds for cutting ties. But right now it seems that Murphy’s Republican friends and colleagues have abandoned him, and that’s no way to treat one of their own.
Fortunately, Murphy lives in kinder, gentler times, and he'll not be forced into the solution presented to Colonel Alfred Redl by the Austrian high command.
Not that Rove wouldn't have offered it ...
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Redistricting: Grudgingly coming soon to a laggard city near you.
For more than a year, the single most hypocritical game in a city widely known for its jaw-dropping talent at self-deception has been the irony-free ability of its tub-thumping “law and order” advocates to be magically transformed into defenders of flagrant illegality when the topic turned to the city council’s abysmal failure to heed pertinent statutes and to redistrict.In other words, the failure of the council to simply do its job.
The same people shrilly demanding audits, full investigations and ritualistic scourgings have been capable of mind-bending, 180-degree turnabouts at the mere suggestion that a council charged with the task of maintaining fair representation might actually pause briefly from the task of masturbatory game-playing and do the type of work job it was elected to do.
Instead, any mention of “redistricting” has revealingly prompted a collective Pavlovian response of epic dimensions, wherein politically-charged partisans would drop everything they were doing to quickly circle the wagons around the since defeated councilman Bill Schmidt, whose 2nd District just happens to be “home to 42 percent more people than Dan Coffey’s District 1, the second-most-populous district.”
Obviously, such a discrepancy is Exhibit A in the case for redistricting, and yet in the end, it was never about the fading Schmidt, or the perpetually scheming Larry Kochert, or an obviously frightened Dan Coffey, who rightly or wrongly looks up at Silver Hills and spies the apocalyptic end to his petty, ward-heeling career.
It was, however, about the letter of the law, and as expected, U.S. Magistrate Judge William Hussman has agreed:
Deal near for new districts in New Albany, by Eric Scott Campbell (News & Tribune).
A tentative settlement hammered out in federal court Friday evening directs the New Albany City Council to redraw the boundaries of its six voting districts by Nov. 22.
The accord cancels a Dec. 3 trial in the lawsuit brought by 20 city residents in May 2006, alleging unequal representation. It hinges on the council paying undisclosed court costs, something that would need to be approved at an upcoming meeting …
… The redistricting plan defeated in 2002 was conceived jointly by political party chairmen, Kochert said. (Plaintiff Jeff) Gillenwater stressed that that wouldn’t be acceptable this time.
“It’s important to me that it’s done correctly and done in such a way that the public has the opportunity to monitor this,” Gillenwater said.
Council obstructionists, now burdened with the responsibility of fulfilling the redistricting mandate publicly, and with transparence, can now be counted upon to mobilize the misdirected malice of downtrodden ratepayers and (what else?) strenuously object to being forced to pay the legal costs accrued solely by reason of the council’s own vacuous indolence.
Indeed, it will be grandstanding hypocrisy of a high order, and in the rich tradition of New Albanian consent decrees, another sad reminder of the persistent failure of a local political class that possesses too many scofflaw heels to drag, and not enough fresh ideas to harness.
Ritz, Whiz and Ripple: Envious troglodytes point random disinformation generator at the Carnegie Center, demand full investigation of wine and cheese.
The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.
--H. L. Mencken
Just for the fun of it, I empowered Google to search the Internet for these terms:
wine and cheese
museum
fundraiser
The result was 19,300 hits, encompassing museums both public and private, and ones located all over America and the world.
In fact, the tradition of the “wine and cheese” tasting as a fundraising mechanism and charitable benefit almost exactly parallels the centuries-long human preference for rendering grapes and milk into potable and edible finished agricultural commodities, which in turn, provide pleasure.
The “wine and cheese” gathering in this context is such a venerable institution that for some, it serves as a sort of shorthand for pomposity and indulgence. As proof, add “effete” to the “wine and cheese” search term and peruse the results; they might have been lifted directly from a Steve Price campaign speech.
Seeing as incomprehension and disinformation are veritable birthrights of New Albany’s “little people,” it’s safe to assume that for at least some of them, neither an educational evening spent at the Carnegie Center for Art and History, nor the Center’s annual habit of pairing one such evening with a fundraising wine and cheese tasting, is quite enough to quell the pain and anger dwelling within the breasts of those for whom the existence of well-adjusted, rational people is an insufferable daily affront.
----
The sprawling, chaotic and poorly reasoned screed – “bizarre” might be the best word – that prompts these observations can be found here, as scrawled on the toilet paper that dangles by coat-hanger and bent ten-penny nail within the confines of the Luddite Bar & Grill:
FUNDRAISING FOR WHAT? AND, FOR WHO'S BENEFIT?, written by Yvonne Kersey and published at her A Fiscally Conservative Floyd Cty Democrat blog.
You’ll have to read it on your own, and you should, because I won’t dignify the scattershot lunacy by quoting portions of it here. The intemperate gist seems to be that Yvonne received an anonymous letter from a temperance fanatic, and both the unknown writer and Yvonne herself are appalled that people who can afford $60 for wine and cheese, with all proceeds devoted to the museum’s operation, have not yet been put to death, or disenfranchised, or made to eat Spam on Bunny Bread as punishment for their temerity.
As fictional detective Nero Wolfe was known to observe, “pfui.”
All this incomprehensible commotion about absolutely nothing –nothing – pertains to something that the Carnegie Museum has been doing for at least five years, perhaps ten (understand that cultural years are accounted differently in certain quarters): An annual wine, beer and cheese soiree that in a substantive, enjoyable manner results in a fattening of the museum’s coffers. It is neither a fleecing of insensate ratepayers nor an enticement to drive drunk.
For the public record, and conceding that minor details vary from place to place, permit me to unravel the apparently unfathomable mystery of the wine and cheese fundraising process, which probably originated in ancient Greece, such is its longevity.
First, food and drink are donated to the event by civic minded businesses. Next, civic minded people pay an admission fee to sample them, and then these same civic minded people pay a second time to purchase other donated items at a silent auction. When all is finished, the museum has money to pursue its mission, and people are happy.
What? You were expecting something along the lines of the secret initiation rites of the illuminati? Sorry to disappoint, but the wine and cheese fundraiser is a very simple, time-honored and entirely non-controversial activity, one grasped by diverse populations that include Andean copper miners, Kalahari bushmen and ex-Soviet apparatchiks.
But this is New Albany, isn’t it?
----
Ultimately, disinformation like Yvonne’s serves more than one purpose. Even if intentionally misleading statements derive from ignorance and belie a comprehensive lack of comprehension, those who are interested in real-world truth must expend their time and effort explaining how reality differs from the shady nether regions of innuendo and conspiratorial rumor-mongering.
Disinformation is intended to pin down and exhaust the capable. It is attempted attrition, and we have no choice except to recite the facts for the approbation of those hereabouts who are capable of discernment.
Yvonne, you should be ashamed at foisting this delusional idiocy on the blogosphere. As in the past, I imagine at some point you’ll admit somewhere far down the page, and in the smallest possible print, that you were mistaken – that it’s just your opinion, right, even if you pass it off as fact? – but, of course, you’ll never bother pulling the flagrant disinformation from the marquee of your blog, where it will enjoy a long life of misleading readers.
Given that this is New Albany, that’s the whole point, isn’t it?
--H. L. Mencken
Just for the fun of it, I empowered Google to search the Internet for these terms:wine and cheese
museum
fundraiser
The result was 19,300 hits, encompassing museums both public and private, and ones located all over America and the world.
In fact, the tradition of the “wine and cheese” tasting as a fundraising mechanism and charitable benefit almost exactly parallels the centuries-long human preference for rendering grapes and milk into potable and edible finished agricultural commodities, which in turn, provide pleasure.
The “wine and cheese” gathering in this context is such a venerable institution that for some, it serves as a sort of shorthand for pomposity and indulgence. As proof, add “effete” to the “wine and cheese” search term and peruse the results; they might have been lifted directly from a Steve Price campaign speech.
Seeing as incomprehension and disinformation are veritable birthrights of New Albany’s “little people,” it’s safe to assume that for at least some of them, neither an educational evening spent at the Carnegie Center for Art and History, nor the Center’s annual habit of pairing one such evening with a fundraising wine and cheese tasting, is quite enough to quell the pain and anger dwelling within the breasts of those for whom the existence of well-adjusted, rational people is an insufferable daily affront.
----
The sprawling, chaotic and poorly reasoned screed – “bizarre” might be the best word – that prompts these observations can be found here, as scrawled on the toilet paper that dangles by coat-hanger and bent ten-penny nail within the confines of the Luddite Bar & Grill:
FUNDRAISING FOR WHAT? AND, FOR WHO'S BENEFIT?, written by Yvonne Kersey and published at her A Fiscally Conservative Floyd Cty Democrat blog.
You’ll have to read it on your own, and you should, because I won’t dignify the scattershot lunacy by quoting portions of it here. The intemperate gist seems to be that Yvonne received an anonymous letter from a temperance fanatic, and both the unknown writer and Yvonne herself are appalled that people who can afford $60 for wine and cheese, with all proceeds devoted to the museum’s operation, have not yet been put to death, or disenfranchised, or made to eat Spam on Bunny Bread as punishment for their temerity.
As fictional detective Nero Wolfe was known to observe, “pfui.”
All this incomprehensible commotion about absolutely nothing –nothing – pertains to something that the Carnegie Museum has been doing for at least five years, perhaps ten (understand that cultural years are accounted differently in certain quarters): An annual wine, beer and cheese soiree that in a substantive, enjoyable manner results in a fattening of the museum’s coffers. It is neither a fleecing of insensate ratepayers nor an enticement to drive drunk.
For the public record, and conceding that minor details vary from place to place, permit me to unravel the apparently unfathomable mystery of the wine and cheese fundraising process, which probably originated in ancient Greece, such is its longevity.
First, food and drink are donated to the event by civic minded businesses. Next, civic minded people pay an admission fee to sample them, and then these same civic minded people pay a second time to purchase other donated items at a silent auction. When all is finished, the museum has money to pursue its mission, and people are happy.
What? You were expecting something along the lines of the secret initiation rites of the illuminati? Sorry to disappoint, but the wine and cheese fundraiser is a very simple, time-honored and entirely non-controversial activity, one grasped by diverse populations that include Andean copper miners, Kalahari bushmen and ex-Soviet apparatchiks.
But this is New Albany, isn’t it?
----
Ultimately, disinformation like Yvonne’s serves more than one purpose. Even if intentionally misleading statements derive from ignorance and belie a comprehensive lack of comprehension, those who are interested in real-world truth must expend their time and effort explaining how reality differs from the shady nether regions of innuendo and conspiratorial rumor-mongering.
Disinformation is intended to pin down and exhaust the capable. It is attempted attrition, and we have no choice except to recite the facts for the approbation of those hereabouts who are capable of discernment.
Yvonne, you should be ashamed at foisting this delusional idiocy on the blogosphere. As in the past, I imagine at some point you’ll admit somewhere far down the page, and in the smallest possible print, that you were mistaken – that it’s just your opinion, right, even if you pass it off as fact? – but, of course, you’ll never bother pulling the flagrant disinformation from the marquee of your blog, where it will enjoy a long life of misleading readers.
Given that this is New Albany, that’s the whole point, isn’t it?
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Randy Hubbard and the headlong flight from ideas.
Hello.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?
-- Roger Waters/Pink Floyd
We’ll forgive you for thinking that it has been hot this August, because on the local political front, matters finally seem to be heading toward the anticipated pre-election autumn boil.
Hubbard’s refusal scuttles IUS debate, by Eric Scott Campbell (News and Tribune).
IU Southeast’s proposed mid-October debate between New Albany mayoral candidates Doug England and Randy Hubbard is off the table after Hubbard declined the invitation.
You’d be more surprised at the “unexpected” outcome of a professional wrestling match than with Hubbard’s debate duck ‘n’ cover, and in today’s Tribune, a letter to the editor by Todd Bailey (a self-professed supporter of Democratic candidate England) offers a response:
Late in the game” and scheduling conflicts do not wash with me, nor will it with other voters. If Mr. Hubbard wants to be viewed as a credible candidate he should not hide behind such empty excuses …
… I support Doug England for mayor as I believe that Mr. England has the interest of the community and its citizens at heart. Mr. England supports progress, fiscal responsibility and an overall better New Albany. Mr. England has made this clear by outlining his agenda and stance on the issues at hand to the citizens of this community. To my knowledge Mr. Hubbard has made no such attempt which is unfortunately consistent with his refusal to debate.
Almost from the moment that Hubbard, a former Floyd County Sheriff, was nominated by the Republican Party to run for mayor, he has been curiously unwilling to display visible enthusiasm for his campaign. Rather, he has struck a pose of lofty detachment, suggesting that his candidacy owed not to any burning commitment to principle or eagerness to serve, but instead came about because concerned citizens scaled the imposing peak of his disinterest and earnestly petitioned him to make a bid.
Maddeningly, Hubbard has offered virtually nothing of substance with respect to issues or a platform, and when asked for specifics, he has deferred to outdated platitudes or asked for more time to seek from others the answers to questions that he apparently hasn’t yet considered.
Granted, it can be theorized that when one’s opponent spends most waking hours talking – Doug England’s garrulousness is legendary, entertaining and also substantive – a comparative reticence might prove quite useful in positioning oneself as the strong, silent type, and yet Hubbard seems to have strayed from opportunistic caution into verbally uncommunicative territories formerly occupied by Harpo Marx, Marcel Marceau and Rigor Mortis.
Apparently Plan A is the hope is that England will commit an unforced error capable of being exploited for electoral gain. There seems to be no Plan B. In the interim, Hubbard’s attempted gravitas seems increasingly less plausible than what is almost certainly the non-spinnable reality: A comprehensive absence of platform content, grasp and ideas on the part of a reluctant candidate desperately recruited by his own party for the sole reason of warding off an expected insurgency emanating from the upstart outsider residing at the Admiral Bicknell.
Casting aside what may or may not have been in political terms prior to the present day, it is at present virtually impossible for me to imagine a scenario in which Hubbard would make a better choice for mayor than England. All of us know that England has baggage carried over from two previous terms, and furthermore, we know that at some point, he’ll utter something that is politically incorrect. He will ally with people we find odious. If elected mayor, he’ll make mistakes, just as he did before.
But it is just as obvious that England possesses in abundance a character trait that the city of New Albany needs desperately, and needs right now: He will do something, as opposed to doing nothing.
Until Randy Hubbard, currently stuck at “cipher” and plunging, identifies his own something, his candidacy for City Hall simply cannot be taken seriously.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?
-- Roger Waters/Pink Floyd
We’ll forgive you for thinking that it has been hot this August, because on the local political front, matters finally seem to be heading toward the anticipated pre-election autumn boil.
Hubbard’s refusal scuttles IUS debate, by Eric Scott Campbell (News and Tribune).
IU Southeast’s proposed mid-October debate between New Albany mayoral candidates Doug England and Randy Hubbard is off the table after Hubbard declined the invitation.
You’d be more surprised at the “unexpected” outcome of a professional wrestling match than with Hubbard’s debate duck ‘n’ cover, and in today’s Tribune, a letter to the editor by Todd Bailey (a self-professed supporter of Democratic candidate England) offers a response:
Late in the game” and scheduling conflicts do not wash with me, nor will it with other voters. If Mr. Hubbard wants to be viewed as a credible candidate he should not hide behind such empty excuses …
… I support Doug England for mayor as I believe that Mr. England has the interest of the community and its citizens at heart. Mr. England supports progress, fiscal responsibility and an overall better New Albany. Mr. England has made this clear by outlining his agenda and stance on the issues at hand to the citizens of this community. To my knowledge Mr. Hubbard has made no such attempt which is unfortunately consistent with his refusal to debate.
Almost from the moment that Hubbard, a former Floyd County Sheriff, was nominated by the Republican Party to run for mayor, he has been curiously unwilling to display visible enthusiasm for his campaign. Rather, he has struck a pose of lofty detachment, suggesting that his candidacy owed not to any burning commitment to principle or eagerness to serve, but instead came about because concerned citizens scaled the imposing peak of his disinterest and earnestly petitioned him to make a bid.
Maddeningly, Hubbard has offered virtually nothing of substance with respect to issues or a platform, and when asked for specifics, he has deferred to outdated platitudes or asked for more time to seek from others the answers to questions that he apparently hasn’t yet considered.
Granted, it can be theorized that when one’s opponent spends most waking hours talking – Doug England’s garrulousness is legendary, entertaining and also substantive – a comparative reticence might prove quite useful in positioning oneself as the strong, silent type, and yet Hubbard seems to have strayed from opportunistic caution into verbally uncommunicative territories formerly occupied by Harpo Marx, Marcel Marceau and Rigor Mortis.
Apparently Plan A is the hope is that England will commit an unforced error capable of being exploited for electoral gain. There seems to be no Plan B. In the interim, Hubbard’s attempted gravitas seems increasingly less plausible than what is almost certainly the non-spinnable reality: A comprehensive absence of platform content, grasp and ideas on the part of a reluctant candidate desperately recruited by his own party for the sole reason of warding off an expected insurgency emanating from the upstart outsider residing at the Admiral Bicknell.
Casting aside what may or may not have been in political terms prior to the present day, it is at present virtually impossible for me to imagine a scenario in which Hubbard would make a better choice for mayor than England. All of us know that England has baggage carried over from two previous terms, and furthermore, we know that at some point, he’ll utter something that is politically incorrect. He will ally with people we find odious. If elected mayor, he’ll make mistakes, just as he did before.
But it is just as obvious that England possesses in abundance a character trait that the city of New Albany needs desperately, and needs right now: He will do something, as opposed to doing nothing.
Until Randy Hubbard, currently stuck at “cipher” and plunging, identifies his own something, his candidacy for City Hall simply cannot be taken seriously.
Friday, August 24, 2007
You can't always get what you want ...
... but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.
Apologies to Mick and the lads. I'm in a good mood tonight, and it's not because of the 4th annual Brew at the Zoo tomorrow afternoon, at which NABC will be dispensing Progressive samples.
Unfortunately, there's no time to elaborate. I'm off to bone up on my geography.
You're never too old to learn, right?
Even the wee ones.
(Archival note: I'd intended to attach as a label "come out, come out, whereverika you are," but it's too long for Blogger to process)
Apologies to Mick and the lads. I'm in a good mood tonight, and it's not because of the 4th annual Brew at the Zoo tomorrow afternoon, at which NABC will be dispensing Progressive samples.
Unfortunately, there's no time to elaborate. I'm off to bone up on my geography.
You're never too old to learn, right?
Even the wee ones.
(Archival note: I'd intended to attach as a label "come out, come out, whereverika you are," but it's too long for Blogger to process)
Council aims to please: Joyfully short meeting permits not one but two Progressive Pints at Connor’s Place afterwards.
Clocking in at 40 minutes flat, last evening’s council soiree was among the shortest in recent memory, with only a few instances of gladitorial wariness and the faintest glint of the long knives yet to come.
Having sent away the tigers much earlier in the day, there is little this correspondent can say about the meeting, and so we’ll rely on the Tribune’s Eric Scott Campbell for a report.
I do seem to recall a random outburst of childlike glee on the part of 1st district councilman Dan Coffey whilst musing aloud at the demise of a stormwater drainage troika whose meetings he never attended in his capacity as council liaison; an effort (later withdrawn after advice by counsel) by the 5th district’s Bev Crump to appoint a new drainage board member; and a bittersweet coda by soon-to-be-retired 2nd district councilman Bill Schmidt, who in the fashion of meandering and self-indulgent prog-rock drum solos from the thankfully passed 1970s, offered a poignant yet gritty soliloquy on one of his favorite topics, the funding of the parking garage at State and Market.
In recognition of this two-hankie moment, CM Schmidt is awarded the “NA Confidential Quote of the Night” trophy, which entitles the bearer to a free six-pack of Coffey’s Bazooka Joe U. engineering certificates:
“There’s not gonna be any slush fund,” barked Schmidt.
As the late, lamented political analyst Madeline Kahn once observed, “it’s twoo … it’s twoo.”
Having sent away the tigers much earlier in the day, there is little this correspondent can say about the meeting, and so we’ll rely on the Tribune’s Eric Scott Campbell for a report.
I do seem to recall a random outburst of childlike glee on the part of 1st district councilman Dan Coffey whilst musing aloud at the demise of a stormwater drainage troika whose meetings he never attended in his capacity as council liaison; an effort (later withdrawn after advice by counsel) by the 5th district’s Bev Crump to appoint a new drainage board member; and a bittersweet coda by soon-to-be-retired 2nd district councilman Bill Schmidt, who in the fashion of meandering and self-indulgent prog-rock drum solos from the thankfully passed 1970s, offered a poignant yet gritty soliloquy on one of his favorite topics, the funding of the parking garage at State and Market.
In recognition of this two-hankie moment, CM Schmidt is awarded the “NA Confidential Quote of the Night” trophy, which entitles the bearer to a free six-pack of Coffey’s Bazooka Joe U. engineering certificates:
“There’s not gonna be any slush fund,” barked Schmidt.
As the late, lamented political analyst Madeline Kahn once observed, “it’s twoo … it’s twoo.”
Thursday, August 23, 2007
High Noon in the Romper Room as “Even Deeper Throat” tells all.
Readers, please know that while the following might be filed under satire, Even Deeper Throat is in fact a real person, not a fictional creation; his comments have been incorporated here in an effort to provoke discussion, and are not necessarily those of the author. What do you think? New Albany's city council meets this evening ... and here's the sparse agenda. Bring sunscreen (for repelling the harmful glow cast by the Glimmer Twins), a seat cushion and your sedative of choice.
----
There are times when New Albany’s perpetual sewage follies seem to surpass daily human understanding in a manner that invites immediate, involuntary psychotherapy. Consider this relevant passage in a 1993 Art Journal commentary; it's not for the squeamish:
Freud argued that feces, as matter that comes from within oneself and then becomes matter outside and thus independent of oneself, is recognized by the child as his "creation." In this recognition, the child frequently uses feces for love, offering it up as a gift to those for whom he cares. As something which he makes and which becomes his own (and is not bestowed on him externally), the child perceives of feces as personal property that defines independence. The child also recognizes that this substance, often problematically received by the world, can be used aggressively, as a weapon. Thus a child's sense of mastery, power, and defiance derives initially from manipulation of excrement.
The last sentence deserves an encore:
Thus a child's sense of mastery, power, and defiance derives initially from manipulation of excrement.
But in New Albany, sewage isn’t so much a weapon as it is the ultimate excuse. When it comes to the sewer utility, successive generations of local elected officials are like the Welsh and Scottish sin-eaters of olden times, absorbing the procrastination, sloth and expedience of their predecessors, and then being ritually absolved in turn by the next wave of unimaginative caretakers, and so we find ourselves as a city always in the position of fighting previous battles, and always using the urgency of unfurnished previous business to explain why we can’t look into the future or plan for anything beyond the shortfall to come.
And that’s because when it is least expected, the Grim Reaper, otherwise known as the wielder of the dictates of the court-ordered consent degree, summarily demands a huge pile of money, and amid much wailing and gnashing of teeth, a check for the interest is cut, the principle remains untouched, Band-Aids are applied, and having spared the citizenry the unfathomable burden of another couple bucks a month, another election cycle makes its merry way through their craniums, much cheap beer is consumed, BBQ bologna is tossed merrily from second-floor windows, and God is thanked yet again for overlooking us.
Doesn't "He" ever.
----
Sewers and storm water, budgets and no-bid contracts, grandstanding and stand-up commedy, resolutions and overturned vetoes, chaos and rancor, marriages of convenience and battlefield divorces … and right up front, the Odd Couple holds sway.
Verily, it is next to impossible to attribute purity of motive to an inveterate, self-serving ward heeler like 1st district councilman Dan Coffey, so how to explain the scruffy and vainglorious Wizard’s current agenda-sharing partnership with the 6th district’s affable Jeff Gahan?
After all, during three years of council service together, the two routinely have been at odds. Moreover, CM Gahan is everything his amok counterpart is not: He’s educated, polite, reasonable, and as close to progressive-minded as any single person presently serving in local government at any level.
How to explain the cognitive dissonance engendered by this seemingly irreconcilable tableau?
One interpretation of the situation comes to us from the lips of Even Deeper Throat, an apparent insider, who last week agreed to a surreptitious meeting at the rear of the buggy whip factory located atop the parking garage at State and Market.
Dodging distracted commuters, Even Deeper Throat explained it this way:
There has been some criticism of the council due to personalities and boy, do I understand it. I do not think that many realize how important the vote was (last) Saturday. I think it was the most important vote of the past four years. This was the council starting to take back control of the city finances from the sewer board. Next year we will have a much better council. Getting the sewers under the council control is very important. I have looked at all of the figures of their monies (believe me it is not a budget), except for their "special projects" which are mostly expansion of sewer lines into the fringe and the county, they operate about 2.5 million in the black each year.
Peering over the guardrail, I could see Pat Harrison's picket line. Her sign read, "HOW ABOUT WELFARE FOR SLUMLORDS -- FOR A CHANGE." I lamented the death of irony in America as Even Deeper Throat continued:
Once they are under control, the council will have the money to do great things for this city. Once they solve the sewer issue there will be money to fix all of the streets, which are in the worst condition I have ever seen), hire more inspectors (I doubt twenty though), and make room for special lanes for those that enjoy two wheeled transportation. I am of the opinion that the sewer board has been holding this city back (and up) for a long time and if things work out the way I am hoping there could be a very bright future for the city during the next ten years.
We continued to chat while walking to a handy park bench across from the sewage treatment plant, which smelled of lilacs and brand new automotive interiors on a brutally hot day. What about that cognitive dissonance? Giving the benefit of the doubt to Gahan, could it be possible that Coffey, too, is somehow sincere, and if so, how do we go about detecting trustworthiness behind the numerous chips of acrimony resting on the Wizard’s slumped shoulders? Do they make Geiger counters that strong? Are hazmat suits recommended? If we come into contact with the unadulterated bile, will it leave an unsightly blemish on our favorite Kochertian leotards?
Deep Throat thoughtfully drew from his Gauloise, and paused before answering:
It is just that the issue cuts across all lines, which makes for an odd alliance. Kochert and Zurschmiede are sewer board members first and council members second. Messer wants to be chief. Coffey needs an audience. Blevins needs to learn to read the ordinances before he votes on them. Crump needs development. Price needs to get rid of cell phones and Schmidt needs his medicine.
As Even Deeper Throat connected the dots, I saw a huge, carcass-engorged groundhog slithering across the grounds of the treatment plant across Main Street. Upon further examination, I was surprised to see that it was two women in conjoined full camouflage, crawling in the underbrush with an infrared camera in tow and a Big Chief tablet in hand.
Meanwhile, my chain-smoking informant was by no means finished. I needed to understand how the Friday afternoon massacre and the veto override went hand in hand to explain the “strange coalition” between Coffey and Gahan.
The stormwater board went too far. Even Messer said so at the last meeting and was willing to vote for court action against them but not the sewer board. When the sanitation department was eliminated there were months of public debate in the papers and at council meetings. The storm water board did the same with no warning at all and it took everyone by surprise. The reaction should have been obvious but it was not to inexperienced board members.
Was that Donald Sutherland and Kevin Costner speeding past on the way to uncounted riches at Caesar’s? And if the city council refuses jurisdiction over the fringe area to forestall sewer construction, does that mean that enterprising businessmen are free to erect high-dollar “gentlemen’s clubs” there so long as they’re connected to septic tanks? Even Deeper Throat concluded:
Gahan had to let Coffey take the lead on these issues, in fact he told him he had to. Gahan understands that it is better to let Coffey take the lead from that side of the table in order to gain the support that is needed to make the necessary changes. I believe it was Churchill who said that he would jump into bed with the devil himself (Stalin) to rid the world of Hitler. There has to be some postering and odd alliances to do, in the end, what is right for the city.
As the ghost of LBJ descended in the odiferous gloaming, we parted ways. It was late, and the hop juice was calling.
----
There are times when New Albany’s perpetual sewage follies seem to surpass daily human understanding in a manner that invites immediate, involuntary psychotherapy. Consider this relevant passage in a 1993 Art Journal commentary; it's not for the squeamish:
Freud argued that feces, as matter that comes from within oneself and then becomes matter outside and thus independent of oneself, is recognized by the child as his "creation." In this recognition, the child frequently uses feces for love, offering it up as a gift to those for whom he cares. As something which he makes and which becomes his own (and is not bestowed on him externally), the child perceives of feces as personal property that defines independence. The child also recognizes that this substance, often problematically received by the world, can be used aggressively, as a weapon. Thus a child's sense of mastery, power, and defiance derives initially from manipulation of excrement.
The last sentence deserves an encore:
Thus a child's sense of mastery, power, and defiance derives initially from manipulation of excrement.
But in New Albany, sewage isn’t so much a weapon as it is the ultimate excuse. When it comes to the sewer utility, successive generations of local elected officials are like the Welsh and Scottish sin-eaters of olden times, absorbing the procrastination, sloth and expedience of their predecessors, and then being ritually absolved in turn by the next wave of unimaginative caretakers, and so we find ourselves as a city always in the position of fighting previous battles, and always using the urgency of unfurnished previous business to explain why we can’t look into the future or plan for anything beyond the shortfall to come.
And that’s because when it is least expected, the Grim Reaper, otherwise known as the wielder of the dictates of the court-ordered consent degree, summarily demands a huge pile of money, and amid much wailing and gnashing of teeth, a check for the interest is cut, the principle remains untouched, Band-Aids are applied, and having spared the citizenry the unfathomable burden of another couple bucks a month, another election cycle makes its merry way through their craniums, much cheap beer is consumed, BBQ bologna is tossed merrily from second-floor windows, and God is thanked yet again for overlooking us.
Doesn't "He" ever.
----
Sewers and storm water, budgets and no-bid contracts, grandstanding and stand-up commedy, resolutions and overturned vetoes, chaos and rancor, marriages of convenience and battlefield divorces … and right up front, the Odd Couple holds sway.
Verily, it is next to impossible to attribute purity of motive to an inveterate, self-serving ward heeler like 1st district councilman Dan Coffey, so how to explain the scruffy and vainglorious Wizard’s current agenda-sharing partnership with the 6th district’s affable Jeff Gahan?
After all, during three years of council service together, the two routinely have been at odds. Moreover, CM Gahan is everything his amok counterpart is not: He’s educated, polite, reasonable, and as close to progressive-minded as any single person presently serving in local government at any level.
How to explain the cognitive dissonance engendered by this seemingly irreconcilable tableau?
One interpretation of the situation comes to us from the lips of Even Deeper Throat, an apparent insider, who last week agreed to a surreptitious meeting at the rear of the buggy whip factory located atop the parking garage at State and Market.
Dodging distracted commuters, Even Deeper Throat explained it this way:
There has been some criticism of the council due to personalities and boy, do I understand it. I do not think that many realize how important the vote was (last) Saturday. I think it was the most important vote of the past four years. This was the council starting to take back control of the city finances from the sewer board. Next year we will have a much better council. Getting the sewers under the council control is very important. I have looked at all of the figures of their monies (believe me it is not a budget), except for their "special projects" which are mostly expansion of sewer lines into the fringe and the county, they operate about 2.5 million in the black each year.
Peering over the guardrail, I could see Pat Harrison's picket line. Her sign read, "HOW ABOUT WELFARE FOR SLUMLORDS -- FOR A CHANGE." I lamented the death of irony in America as Even Deeper Throat continued:
Once they are under control, the council will have the money to do great things for this city. Once they solve the sewer issue there will be money to fix all of the streets, which are in the worst condition I have ever seen), hire more inspectors (I doubt twenty though), and make room for special lanes for those that enjoy two wheeled transportation. I am of the opinion that the sewer board has been holding this city back (and up) for a long time and if things work out the way I am hoping there could be a very bright future for the city during the next ten years.
We continued to chat while walking to a handy park bench across from the sewage treatment plant, which smelled of lilacs and brand new automotive interiors on a brutally hot day. What about that cognitive dissonance? Giving the benefit of the doubt to Gahan, could it be possible that Coffey, too, is somehow sincere, and if so, how do we go about detecting trustworthiness behind the numerous chips of acrimony resting on the Wizard’s slumped shoulders? Do they make Geiger counters that strong? Are hazmat suits recommended? If we come into contact with the unadulterated bile, will it leave an unsightly blemish on our favorite Kochertian leotards?
Deep Throat thoughtfully drew from his Gauloise, and paused before answering:
It is just that the issue cuts across all lines, which makes for an odd alliance. Kochert and Zurschmiede are sewer board members first and council members second. Messer wants to be chief. Coffey needs an audience. Blevins needs to learn to read the ordinances before he votes on them. Crump needs development. Price needs to get rid of cell phones and Schmidt needs his medicine.
As Even Deeper Throat connected the dots, I saw a huge, carcass-engorged groundhog slithering across the grounds of the treatment plant across Main Street. Upon further examination, I was surprised to see that it was two women in conjoined full camouflage, crawling in the underbrush with an infrared camera in tow and a Big Chief tablet in hand.
Meanwhile, my chain-smoking informant was by no means finished. I needed to understand how the Friday afternoon massacre and the veto override went hand in hand to explain the “strange coalition” between Coffey and Gahan.
The stormwater board went too far. Even Messer said so at the last meeting and was willing to vote for court action against them but not the sewer board. When the sanitation department was eliminated there were months of public debate in the papers and at council meetings. The storm water board did the same with no warning at all and it took everyone by surprise. The reaction should have been obvious but it was not to inexperienced board members.
Was that Donald Sutherland and Kevin Costner speeding past on the way to uncounted riches at Caesar’s? And if the city council refuses jurisdiction over the fringe area to forestall sewer construction, does that mean that enterprising businessmen are free to erect high-dollar “gentlemen’s clubs” there so long as they’re connected to septic tanks? Even Deeper Throat concluded:
Gahan had to let Coffey take the lead on these issues, in fact he told him he had to. Gahan understands that it is better to let Coffey take the lead from that side of the table in order to gain the support that is needed to make the necessary changes. I believe it was Churchill who said that he would jump into bed with the devil himself (Stalin) to rid the world of Hitler. There has to be some postering and odd alliances to do, in the end, what is right for the city.
As the ghost of LBJ descended in the odiferous gloaming, we parted ways. It was late, and the hop juice was calling.
Sorry to say ... told ya so.
NA-FC Parks leader Bill Koehler resigns position (Tribune).
This is a huge loss to the community, if for no other reason (although there are many others) than the ex-Marine Koehler's ability to walk purposefully into the council chamber, and deploying nothing more than a natural commanding presence, reduce Councilman Cappuccino to respectful silence.
We need much, much more of that around here.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Endangered Slumlord Protection Act? Local rental property mogul and realtor cites a “pitiful” absence of tax breaks.
Back on August 12, the Tribune’s Chris Morris heeded the squeaky realtor’s wheel and considered the outer limits of the “American dream” (unlimited-horizon-free, New Albany-style):
Rental property owners in Clark, Floyd counties say enough is enough.
The idea sounds like a winner. You buy property, fix it up, find someone to rent it, and then sit back and collect the monthly check.
However, it’s not quite that simple, according to local Realtor Pat Harrison. In fact, she said what used to be the American dream of owning property has turned into a nightmare for many. The reason, she said, is property owners are being taxed to death.
“This state is not giving any kind of tax break on commercial and investment property. It’s pitiful,” Harrison said.
Chris didn't intend to be insightful, but his line, "sit back and collect the monthly check," is a classic.
Why do we get the sneaking suspicion that the next grinding trench warfare phase of trying to bring New Albany’s enduring “slumlord protection program” into line with the dictates of the 21st century will inevitably revolve around fanatical opposition (vigilance with Bics in hand, just itching to flick) to absolutely necessary rental inspection reform, on the spurious grounds that extreme poverty caused by Harrison’s “pitiful” absence of tax breaks should absolve owners of adhering to community standards?
We can hear the tune already, and it is discordant -- and dysfunctional -- as ever.
Rental property owners in Clark, Floyd counties say enough is enough.
The idea sounds like a winner. You buy property, fix it up, find someone to rent it, and then sit back and collect the monthly check.
However, it’s not quite that simple, according to local Realtor Pat Harrison. In fact, she said what used to be the American dream of owning property has turned into a nightmare for many. The reason, she said, is property owners are being taxed to death.
“This state is not giving any kind of tax break on commercial and investment property. It’s pitiful,” Harrison said.
Chris didn't intend to be insightful, but his line, "sit back and collect the monthly check," is a classic.
Why do we get the sneaking suspicion that the next grinding trench warfare phase of trying to bring New Albany’s enduring “slumlord protection program” into line with the dictates of the 21st century will inevitably revolve around fanatical opposition (vigilance with Bics in hand, just itching to flick) to absolutely necessary rental inspection reform, on the spurious grounds that extreme poverty caused by Harrison’s “pitiful” absence of tax breaks should absolve owners of adhering to community standards?
We can hear the tune already, and it is discordant -- and dysfunctional -- as ever.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
On the merits of Boblessness: Inject entrepreneurialism into New Albany’s Riverfront Amphitheater, and restore value to a mismanaged community asset.
It is often the case that seemingly unconnected occurrences, when permitted to ferment in the subconscious for a period of time, coalesce to produce thematic unity. Unfortunately, for those of us choosing to reside in New Albany, these moments of lucidity tend to be the impetus for numbing depression and hurried solace within the closest available bottle.Then again, perhaps I’m confusing my own Pavlovian reactions with those of the populace in general, but I can explain.
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On Saturday afternoon, the trial run of a festival dubbed Worlds of Flavor Bar-B-Q and Music Festival commenced at New Albany’s Riverfront Amphitheater and four designated eateries downtown.
As all those involved with the festival, myself included, will openly acknowledge, Worlds of Flavor was inadequately marketed and poorly publicized; furthermore, like many inaugural events, the first time out of the gate is about learning new skills, synthesizing experiences and modifying presentations to improve the odds of success in coming years.
Make no mistake: Chief organizer Mike Kopp deserves substantial kudos for getting the ball rolling, and speaking only for myself, I’m perfectly willing to make a public pledge of more time personally expended and some of my company's money to expand and improve upon a good idea in 2008.
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained” is an axiom with supreme relevance in this instance, if for no other reason that an absence of like-minded chutzpah has been the prime contributing factor to New Albany’s enduring malaise. I’m supremely confident that we’ll do the Worlds of Flavor fest again, and we’ll do it better each time we try.
Setting aside the specific reason why I was standing atop the levee on a relatively seasonable August afternoon listening to a jazzy musical performance, consider for a moment the favorable impression made by the grandeur of the setting: Stage, band and sloping grass in front of me, barges and pleasure craft plying the waters of the Ohio just behind the stage , the city's signature Sherman Minton bridge humming with weekend traffic, and the Louisville skyline peaking demurely over the trees on the opposite shore.
Now think of the chicken and the egg, and tell me: Do we chronically underutilize this amphitheater because there is little demand, or is there a perception of little demand because we chronically underutilize this facility?
Later Saturday night, following aperitifs at Connor’s Place, a few of us adjourned to the courtyard at Bistro New Albany, enjoying a splendid meal and the temperate evening temperatures, and indulging in relaxed conversation. Then, on Sunday morning, I prepared a double espresso, fetched the Tribune from the front steps, dipped into a breakfast of cantaloupe and poached farm-fresh eggs (as acquired from Saturday’s farmers market, preparation courtesy of Mrs. Confidential) and turned straight to the opinion page for recent college graduate and guest columnist Daniel Robison’s latest submission, “Why New Albany is losing its young people”:
One recent visitor to the region remarked that New Albany is “historic.” Well, that's true: our city’s past has some nice highlights, but emphasizing this fact to define the city's identity is exactly symptomatic of the problem: our city is stuck, not in the past per se, but in its ways, attitudes and most importantly, opportunities.
In short, it was another in a series of provocative pieces by Daniel, a talented young New Albanian who’ll probably never live here, with his spot among the ranks of locals soon to be taken by yet another itinerant tenant of our city’s unregulated rental properties, which for decades have been the chief form of “economic development” pursued by our cluelessly caretaking political and governing classes.
While Daniel and his friends could not be expected to have memorized the lengthy list of excuses for failure that older New Albanians regularly cite when pressed to explain their own generation’s apathy, it is almost certain that if any one of Daniel’s coterie were handed the keys to the Riverfront Amphitheater’s restroom along with a brief checklist explaining the venue’s rules and regulations, he would immediately commence running the facility more efficiently than the current riverfront “director,” Bob Trinkle.
It is also certain that the entertainment and activities duly booked by the Young Turks would be precisely the sort that musically and culturally are veritable light years beyond Trinkle’s strictly stodgy and past-dated tastes – and that’s the best conceivable thing that could ever happen to the city’s amphitheater at this point in time.
Trinkle’s breathtakingly underachieving tenure has produced creative energy on a par with somnalent euchre tournaments at the Mark Elrod Towers, few tangible ideas beyond those gleaned from the manual for Baptist church socials, even fewer actual events, and nothing whatsoever to indicate any enthusiasm for substantive change or any abilities or willingness to implement it. Any remuneration to the current “director” totaling more than a buck fifty is far too high, although I suspect it is much more than that, and if so, it is a pay scale that by all rights should be the stuff of pure scandal.
Meanwhile, even in New Albany there are entrepreneurs of all generations who are willing and able to transform the amphitheater into a profitable, multi-cultural and diverse undertaking, one certainly capable of shifting income to the city rather than draining from it by being forced to subsist on a barely justifiable salary paid to one person who is completely out of touch with the demographic most sorely needed.
That'd be youth.
A better case for a public-private partnership is difficult to imagine; merely state the criteria, accept bids, award a contract, specify the percentage to be returned to the city, and permit private enterprise and a profit motive to inject life into a moribund and neglected area.
Recognizing that the terms for elected members of the current mayoral administration are running down, I therefore address this question, with all due sincerity, to City Hall hopefuls Doug England and Randy Hubbard:
Can you please – please – make a pledge of action with regard to New Albany’s Riverfront Amphitheater, arguably downtown’s single most neglected and mismanaged asset, and permit an injection of private enterprise that might reasonably be expected to dispel the do-nothing legacy of the current management?
After all, nothing ventured, nothing gained – and haven’t we all had enough of the latter?
Addendum: We’ve received an unverified report this morning that Bill Koehler, superintendent of the NA-FC Parks & Recreation Department, will submit (or has already submitted) his resignation. To repeat, this report is as yet unverified, but the source is reliable. If true, the supremely capable Koehler will be sorely missed.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Tonight: Stone Brewing co-founder and CEO Greg Koch (and his beers) at Rich O's.
From the Stone Brewing website's calendar of events:
Greg Koch's Midwest Tour Continues At Rich O's
Monday, August 20th --- 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm
Rich O's Public House at the New Albanian Brewing Co. has been supporting Stone Brewing for years. Now it is time for Stone to show our appreciation...and how are we going to do that? With an amazing lineup of Stone Special Releases and a visit from Stone CEO Greg Koch, of course!
Join Greg, Aaron, and the gang at Rich O's on Monday the 20th for an array of Stone beers the likes of which has never been seen in the Hoosier State.
[Warning: You may want to sit down before reading further!].
07.07.07 Vertical Epic Ale, Arrogant Bastard Ale, Oaked Arrogant Bastard Ale, Double Bastard Ale 2005, Double Bastard Ale 2006, Imperial Russian Stout, India Pale Ale, Old Guardian Barley Wine, Ruination IPA, Smoked Porter, Stone 10th Anniversary Ale IPA
Needless to say...pencil this one on your calendar, grab a designated driver, and get ready for a night you'll never forget ... or maybe you just might!
Rich O's / New Albanian Brewing Co., 3312 Plaza Drive, New Albany, IN, 812.949.2804
Friday afternoon massacre claims entire stormwater drainage board; Putsch leader Dan “Agent Zero” Coffey reassures traumatized city: “I’m in charge.”
Isn't he always?But seriously, there is a recurring element of tragicomic pathos to the Wizard of Westside’s scheming machinations, of which the current Drainage Gate civic black eye is but one of many in the past, and many more to come, in which he has been complicit.
As ringmaster of the politics of semi-carnal envy that characterizes so much of small town life, CM Coffey certainly craves the office of mayor to such a noticeable degree that, presumably, he would gladly park his posterior on the gilded throne without accepting so much as a dime in remuneration.
Such is the vow of subservient poverty that Coffey has regularly demanded of other public servants, but it’s a moot point, because he knows that reliable support outside the hermetically sealed electoral comfort of his own fiefdom of Westendia is, shall we say, lacking; his prospects citywide aren’t worth a warm bucket of spit, and he’d be crushed in any such race like a fat and lazy late summer fly who has ingested one too many slices of fresh cow pie before trying to airlift home a bit too close to the waiting swatter.
----
Now that the stormwater drainage board has resigned en masse – quite the parliamentary thing to do under increasingly daunting circumstances, and the purport of which is as certain to elude the comprehension of the clueless poseur Erika as the dusty and long dormant instructions for programming her obsolete VCR – all parties involved in the city’s latest embarrassing example of its inability to govern itself are cowering behind temporary barricades constructed of tattered legal pads and BBQ bologna-stained Bazooka Joe vocational diplomas, courageously lobbing desultory volleys of accusation and counter-charge at one another.
Fascinatingly, New Albany’s sewage system, a meandering labyrinth to which now can added a newly Coffey-tized and eviscerated stormwater drainage compliance mechanism, creates strange bedfellows the way that Bill Gates prints money. As an example, sewer board member and city council president Larry Kochert, who shockingly finds himself for once in the mayor’s corner, believes that certain “overzealous” councilmen should be volunteered for unpaid duty on the now vacant drainage committee.
The pot, the kettle … the King.
Perhaps dazed at CM Kochert’s presumptuousness toward an erstwhile ally in obstructionist mayhem, the Wizard somehow hasn’t yet grabbed this gracious offer of unpaid labor even though time and time again he has lectured a howling gallery as to the alleged superiority of his grasp when it comes to environmental engineering, Kosher dietary restrictions, nuclear physics, quilting, and his central interpretive role in a soon to be released, bold new updated translation of Thomas Aquinas’s “Summa Theologica.”
With sidesplitting laughter escalating to Comedy Caravan proportions, let’s step gingerly around the corner and cast furtive glances at the campfires burning within the confines of the open air museum. I hear artillery in the distance, but it might be thunder. Are the stormwater drainage Gods chuckling, too?
And these bizarre partnerships; what to make of them? More on that later ... assuming the creek don't rise.
Tribune coverage here
Courier coverage here
Bucket brigade and lots of sawdust here
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