Hanson's Folly, updated: There's still no diversity among regular News and Tribune opinion columnists.

I took a gander in February, checked again in June, and updated again circa late August (and posted at Twitter).

Hanson's Folly: There remains a complete absence of diversity among regular News and Tribune columnists. 

Here's a fresh update. Obviously elections bring out the letters to the editor, and so the sample size is slightly smaller than usual for periods of the same length. 

• Letters 20
• White Male Columnists 18
• White Female Columnists 3
• Black Male Columnist 1
• Editorial Board 1

Allow me to calculate (because readers would notice, anyway) that of the 22 opinion columns, whether authored by whites, blacks, males or females, all writers probably are over the age of 50 (with the exception of staffer Daniel Suddeath), and all but one of them are white (95% of column slots).

Back in June, publisher Bill Hanson lamented racial injustice in America and bemoaned his own white "privilege," asking in essence what's to be done? Since then, 80-odd percent or more of his newspapers have continued to be old white people. I'd sugar-coat it if possible, but it isn't possible.

Publisher, heal thyself.  

Here are the screen shots at the News and Tribune's website ("Opinion"), beginning October 8, ending October 30. 

Paying for the jail, but not examining the real problem.

Mark brought it up, and there's a lot to talk about in terms of money. The Facebook thread is here.

Floyd County Council, Commissioners at odds over how to pay back jail debt, by Daniel Suddeath (Hanson's Old White Guys Just Like Him Journal)

NEW ALBANY — Floyd County leaders are split on how to spend millions of dollars in interest from hospital sale proceeds, as governing bodies have passed opposing resolutions with repayment of a bond to renovate the jail hanging in the balance.

However, in light of recent weeks, I think our junior editor Bluegill wrote something as or more important.

In previous meetings, the Floyd County Sheriff reported that, like most jails in the country, half or more of the jail population at any given time is there not because they’re particularly violent or dangerous but because they can’t afford bail. Reform of our bail system - something the prosecutor’s office can do - would consistently cut our jail population roughly in half. Any county official willing to spend that much money because a prosecutor won’t reform a corrupt class-based system ought to be run out of office, as should the prosecutor.

And if you look at arrest numbers in New Albany, they tend to skew heavily Black well beyond population percentages. Do you think any politician in this county has the guts to address that publicly and head on?

So, Floyd County clearly has a class-based “criminal justice” system disproportionately aimed at Blacks. And what are we arguing about? Which tax to use to pay for expansion of it.

Wait -- do you mean not one of Bill Hanson's old white male columnists thought to explore this side of the story?

For more: Overcrowded jails, wasted tax dollars: Let's reform cash bail in Kentucky — and the nation, by J. Herbert Nelson.

Hanson's Folly: There remains a complete absence of diversity among regular News and Tribune columnists.

Different mix from May 23 - June 16
but no substantive change.

Bill Hanson is the publisher of the Jeffersonville News and Tribune. Recently he lamented injustice and his own "privilege," asking in essence what's to be done?

Let's look at his newspaper's opinion column scorecard since May 23: Of opinion pieces identified as columns, 25 were authored by white males, 4 by women.

Of the 25 columns authored by white males, 22 came from "older" writers (my guess, above the age of 50), the exception being three written by the newspaper's reporter Daniel Suddeath. Four columns were authored by women, one of them a black woman (another came from Susan Duncan, the newspaper's editor).

The black woman is from Georgia and edits a sister CNHI paper there. Probably it was a one-off.

Actually Suddeath's most recent column takes an oblong glance at the problem, focusing on local elected leaders, but also with this precise comment:

Let’s not pass the buck. We also need more people of color in our newsrooms. In 15 years of full-time journalism, I’ve worked with very few black people. This has an effect on what news is published, regardless of our intentions.

Let's review. Using opinion columns as a gauge, the News and Tribune scores 86% from white male writers, most of them "older" in age; 14% female writers; and 3% black. There's the whole range of societal perspectives gifted to us by Bill Hanson.

It's noteworthy that these percentages haven't varied an iota since the last time I counted five months ago -- except for the black woman from Georgia. There had been no columns by black writers the last time I looked.

ON THE AVENUES: There is a complete absence of diversity among regular News and Tribune columnists.

To answer Hanson's agonized question -- what's to be done? -- perhaps first the publisher needs to spend some time in front of a mirror.

Maybe HIS newspaper would like to provide topical newspaper opinion column debate beyond that of his old white male buddies: a non-Christian religious perspective, a gay (not) straight point of view, and yes, a regularly recurring outlook from a person of color.

The likelihood is that Hanson is terrified of the backlash from his ... that's right, predominantly older, conservative readership.

The answer is staring you in the face, Bill. If you don't have any intention of embracing it, then at least spare us the crocodile tears, okay?

Diversity isn't the newspaper's only problem ...

The newspaper shrinks -- but let's leave psychiatrists out of it, okay Bill?

Just the other day the topic of journalism versus newspapers was raised. I'm thinking Bill Hanson didn't read it.

Tell me more: "Bail Out Journalists. Let Newspaper Chains Die."

... The advertising business that has sustained the local newspapers — the car dealers, retailers and movie theaters that for generations filled their pages with ads — has gone from slow decline to free fall.

So the leaders trying to get the local news industry through this economic shock need to confront reality. The revenue from print advertising and aging print subscribers was already going away. When this crisis is over, it is unlikely to come back ...

It is unsurprising, then, that the local chain newspaper finds itself at this juncture.

Effective next week, the News and Tribune will begin a five-day-a-week publishing schedule by discontinuing the Monday newspaper. We will continue publication and delivery to subscribers and newsstands Tuesday through Saturday.

Earlier today Hanson prefaced a rant by denying a rant was about to occur. I feel badly for the staff writers and other personnel who do actual work. I feel nothing whatever for Hanson.

HANSON COLUMN: The right and the wrong of it

In my younger days, I would have slung my sports coat across the room, sat down at my computer and started pounding out a rant on my keyboard.

Why not? It still works for me.

I have been refreshed by the kind comments from subscribers of the News and Tribune to our day-reduction announcement. They have buoyed the spirits of an understandably deflated staff. Unfortunately, the snarky, ill-prepared and just plain mean-spirited comments outnumber the good ones. Those comments are neither fair nor productive to healthy relationships between a newspaper and its readers.

When social media warriors state that there is nothing in the newspaper, they are wrong. During the week of April 13-18 alone, the News and Tribune carried 118 general news stories about the men, women and children of Clark and Floyd counties. Nearly all of that content was generated by reporters of the News and Tribune. That count doesn’t include any obituaries — just stories. Clearly there’s content in the newspaper.

Did you catch that? Healthy relationships aren't possible unless you agree with Hanson. And "social media warriors" is the stuff of an ill-tempered rant, is it not?

I reckon this is an opinion but I’d say you’re wrong if you believe the News and Tribune content isn’t worth its cost. If you value a Big Gulp more than being informed about your community, I may be wrong. If you’d rather stock up on cigarettes than information, I stand corrected. If cable TV shows are more informational to you than your hometown newspaper, I can’t get through to you. All three of these items are more expensive than a copy of your News and Tribune and none of them informs you about your friends and neighbors.

While you're at it, Bill, can you tell us the annual value in advertising dollars of those City of New Albany ads with the mayor's name splashed all over them -- you know, the de facto campaign ads disguised as tourism touts, which you lap up like mother's milk?

See, the city won't tell us, and neither will you -- but isn't it the newspaper's job to tell us what the city won't?

Or am I being too rational for you? Still won't share this info with us? I'd buy a damn subscription if you chose to do so.

You won't so I'm falling asleep ...

It's Sunday, and the "Jeffersonville Good News and Proselytizing Tribune" has lots of content addressing the publisher's narrow version of Christianity.

When we first began exposing the pewspaper's propensity for weekly down home camp meetings (just imagine the Jehovah's Witness heading for your door but tripping on the rolled-up copy of Tom's and Nancy's sermon) one of the staffers replied on Twitter that since some readers are Christian, it's perfectly acceptable to offer two weekly Sunday evangelism columns.

But of course. Other readers are atheists, pagans or Zoroastrians; some ride motorcycles, savor S&M or birdwatch; there are square dancers, vintage automobile fetishists and stamp collectors.

None of THEM get a single column, much less two, but when it comes to advocating for the one true religion, Bill Hanson pulls the strings and employees who know better have little choice except cringing.

Millenarian sects wait patiently for a reign of holiness that never seems to arrive. Me? I just keep waiting for the newspaper to devote as much space to local Democratic Party corruption as it does to scratching the publisher's nonsensical itch.

Jeffersonville News and Tribune hits rock bottom as evangelism columnist Tom May argues for theocratic fascism, Pence-style.

Jeffersonville News and Tribune hits rock bottom as evangelism columnist Tom May argues for theocratic fascism, Pence-style.

Sheer drivel from Bill Hanson’s pastor. 

Does Tom May still rank a second "general interest" column in addition to the Sunday sermon?

When will free thinkers and non-theists get equal time, not with piecemeal "guest column" replies to the newspaper's two resident evangelists, but via a weekly counterpoint of our own?

COLUMN: Freedom, faith and our future by Tom May in the Jeffersonville Hansonian Devotional, soon to be renamed the Tom May Content Aggregation Mechanism

 ... Is there a way that a person of faith can be patriotic today? Across our country, people of the United States are encouraged to show their patriotism – their love for their country and the freedom that it represents – on this special time of the year, but is there a place for my faith to fit it to the celebrations?

Ominously, May continues.

When it comes to the general public, the majority of Americans affirm the belief of this definition. “True religious freedom means that all citizens must have freedom of conscience, which means being able to believe and practice the core commitments and values of your faith.” A slight majority of 55 percent held to this opinion. This definition is down from almost 70 percent in a similar survey in 2012. It appears that while most still agree, Americans are feeling less certain about the definition.

You just know what's coming.

We are not sure about what faith means in our culture. We are even less sure of how to live that faith each day. Perhaps it is because we are not doing as clear a job teaching our faith, handing the mantel to the next generation.

What should a person of faith do? Foremost the person of faith should not be silent. Tom Minnery, in his book, “Why You Can’t Stay Silent: A Biblical Mandate to Shape Our Culture,” writes, “Being salt and light in this age means contending responsibly for godly standards. There is no escaping the mixture of religion and politics, because nearly every law is the result of somebody’s judgment about what is good and what is bad.”

Famous evangelist Billy Graham’s son Franklin writes on his father’s website, “While followers of the Lord Jesus Christ should never resort to violence, we must do all we can to resist evil. As Mr. Pence has said, we are not to remain silent when moral anarchists are attempting to extinguish any influence of Biblical morality in our government, schools and businesses.”

May then relates a tired Red Skelton anecdote about the Pledge of Allegiance -- no, seriously.

But don't take this pagan's word for it. There was an impeccably faith-based reply at the pews-paper web site, and it's a powerful rejoinder.

As a pastor in town I'm very cautious in writing to the newspaper to share my opinions on religion. I use extreme caution so as not to offend people. I firmly believe in everyone's freedom of religion and their opinions.

I read Tom May pretty much every week. Our religious and theological traditions are very different and I find myself often disagreeing with him. Having said that, he is entitled to his perspective and I applaud his willingness to share his faith with others. He seems like a fine person and while I often disagree with him, it's just a simply different perspective.

His most recent article, however, crosses a line. Faith, freedom, and culture are, of course, worthy of conversation. In his observation on freedom of religion, I would agree that we are free to practice our religion without interference from the government. Yes. Absolutely. I would also say that religious freedom also accommodates people who are not people of faith. People of faith are free to practice their faith; people who are not people of faith have a right to not practice faith. The United States does not have an official religion and that is, I believe, a good thing. I don't know if we are in agreement to the right of people not to practice faith but we certainly agree that people should have the freedom to practice their faith as they so choose.

All of my education has been in seminaries----I entered the seminary at age 18. I am a person of faith and have always been. My entire adult life has been focused on different aspects of ministry. My faith is something I take seriously. Mr. May included this passage in his article that was very irritating. He wrote:

"Famous evangelist Billy Graham’s son Franklin writes on his father’s website, 'While followers of the Lord Jesus Christ should never resort to violence, we must do all we can to resist evil. As Mr. Pence has said, we are not to remain silent when moral anarchists are attempting to extinguish any influence of Biblical morality in our government, schools and businesses.' "

First, Mr. Pence is a politician. He is not a religious leader. He is not a person who has expressed a great deal of support for religious freedom. His verbiage 'any influence of Biblical morality,' is exclusive terminology. By Bible is he referring to both the Hebrew Scriptures and the New Testament? If his concept includes the New Testament, he's leaving out people who are Jewish. Is he including the Koran? The Book of Mormon? Buddhism? Hinduism? When Mr. Pence was the Governor of Indiana his religious freedom bill was not about allowing people freedom of religion, but allowing religious people the right to discriminate against people whose lifestyles he found morally wrong. He was called out for it and had to backtrack. Having said all of this, Mr. Pence is a politician. As a minister I have found many politician's religious convictions to be as plentiful and reliable as $9 shoes. He shouldn't be cited as a religious leader.

And Franklin Graham. I didn't criticize is father. I think Billy Graham was an honorable man who found himself burned by may of his political connections. Badly burned. But Billy tried, really hard, to stay above the fray. Franklin has jumped into the fray and is more interested in political ideology than he is with God. He loves to quote Scripture----often grotesquely out of context----to make his point of view sound like Christianity. For many of us, Franklin Graham is the prototype preacher to NOT become.

As a person of faith, I really do believe people faith can and should attempt to influence ethical conversations and I am a profound fan of the religious liberty we have. This article, in my opinion, has lowered a rich, theological, ethical conversation into the partisan political morass our nation is currently wallowing in. Please know there are people of faith with differing perspectives who are willing to talk about their faith, share their ethical perspectives, and live patriotically, without falling into the partisan game of Mr. Pence and Mr. Graham.

Sincerely,

Rev. Dr. John Manzo

Ah, that dreary fraud Frankin Graham.

When theists and atheists alike agree that something smells, maybe it's time for Bill and Susan to re-examine a few of their faulty premises. Why is the local newspaper shilling for one variation of organized religion to the exclusion of others -- or none at all?

My letter to the editor about Jeff Gahan's Money Machine: These are down-low times for local journalism and governance -- but I'm just a self-promotional blogger.

I throw back my head and emit raucous laughter.

Roger,

The News and Tribune received a letter to the editor from you regarding the New Albany mayor’s race.

In reviewing the letter, there are a couple of changes needed for it to be published. The parts of concern are highlighted and referenced below:

• The “point of fact” is inaccurate; it is opinion.
• The highlighted phrases and word indicate criminal wrongdoing and since no such criminal convictions exist, cannot run.
• We do not publish Blog promotions in taglines

We are happy to reconsider publication of your letter once those concerns have been addressed.

— Susan

Tellingly the local chain newspaper's editor has found it expedient in the past to take many similar liberties when lambasting Donald Trump, but I suppose that's somehow different.

Roger: Here is my second try. I changed some words and omitted a few others. I don't suppose the newspaper would be willing to divulge the dollar amount of ads purchased annually by taxpayers for Gahan's self-promotional "city of New Albany" ads? The city won't tell me. Perhaps the expenditure comes from a third party. Is that how it works?

Susan: Thank you addressing our concerns. This version is just fine and will run on Thursday’s Opinions page. I don’t have the information you are seeking, but it wouldn’t be appropriate for us to share client information anyway.

Sharing the amount of tax revenue being expended to advance Jeff Gahan's personality cult dozens of times yearly as part of the mayor-for-life's quest to brand a city with his own face?

Jeff Gahan has been branding the city in his own image, and using our money to do it, but we need collective thinking, not the shoddy veneer of a personality cult.

No can do, bucko. Revealing the money in this fashion apparently would violate the sanctity of journalism, which brings to mind the words of Abraham Lincoln to his hesitant general, George McClellan -- paraphrased to suit my own thoughts.

If the Jeffersonville News and Tribune does not want to use journalism, I would like to borrow it for a time, provided I could see how it could be made to do something.

Bill Hanson was cc-ed in the preceding discussion. He never uttered a peep. Perhaps he was busy in the home library listening to Tom May audio books.

Here's my letter. Don't forget to #FireGahan2019

---

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR — For Thursday, Feb. 14

Mayor Gahan has too many outside backers

During the past eight years, Mayor Jeff Gahan has presided over a campaign finance operation of unprecedented scale and dimension. Let’s call it the Jeff Gahan Money Machine.

Presumably collecting campaign finance donations from the usual suspects is Gahan’s only real skill as a politician. The game is simple: self-interested parties give Gahan lots of money, and receive benefits so blatantly obvious that a six-year-old could figure it out.

Could someone run off and fetch a six-year-old to narrate the video?

Let's make one thing perfectly clear. While it’s true that everyone involved is responsible for perpetuating the cynical patronage system Gahan has so laboriously constructed, the upshot is that one person and one person alone might have chosen from the beginning to erect a higher bar and deter the possibility of corruption stemming from the practice of “paying to play.”

That's Jeff Gahan himself, but apparently transparency is too much for citizens to expect from a C-minus student, and so Gahan opted for the behind-the-scenes money. Tens of thousands of dollars have migrated to Jeff Gahan from out-of-town companies, lawyers, lobbyists, unions and PACs. Now there is a pervasive odor requiring a long overdue electoral purge.

Fortunately there’s a better way. Democratic mayoral candidate David White has stated publicly that he will not accept donations from individuals and corporate entities seeking favors to do business with the city. As such, White rejects personal benefit from the disbursement of public funds.

Rather, White seeks to restore genuine merit to the process of vending, consultation and contract seeking. With White we'll have ethical standards from the get-go — not a cesspool on the down low.

I encourage you to visit White’s website, to engage with him and to vote White in the primary. White won't have Gahan's $175,000 campaign finance war chest, much of it coming from outsiders, but he has something even better: straight talk, transparency and an honest desire to put the people of New Albany first, not Gahan's cliques and special interests.

White’s web site: www.davidwhiteformayor.com

— Roger A. Baylor, New Albany

All hail the 'Bama pensioners -- and read yet another of the local chain newspaper's religious advocacy columns.

I'm sure Tom May is a jolly good fellow, but this religious advocacy crusade at the Chronicle of Clark County is drivel. Of course, it isn't entirely the writer's fault.

He's enabled by a fading newspaper seemingly unable to grasp that we live in a diverse community, one deserving a multiplicity of viewpoints. Instead, day in and day out, we witness groveling to advertisers and pandering to low common denominators.

Absolutely clueless management at the News and Tribune.

Are they afraid that alternate points of view might offend the few remaining subscribers?

That performing something approximating investigative journalism would turn off the spigot of municipal advertising?

That letting someone other than Tom May write weekly columns wouldn't be a welcome change for those of us repelled by the dogmatic repetition?

What's really going on here?

Does Tom May have the incriminating photos stashed in a saf deposit box somewhere?

MAY: Collision course with Christmas by Tom May (Bill's Favorite Content Provider)

The paths of the government and Christmas have long been on a collision course ...

 ... In those days, the government was concerned with itself and not the circumstances of an engaged couple expecting a child. Perhaps that is why Isaiah proclaimed that the government would be upon His shoulder. What an incredible promise! The real hope of the world doesn’t depend upon the strength of the government. In those days, just like today, hope depends not on the government, but on the grace of God.

Hanson issues tepid apology for botched political ad on the cover of Harvest Homecoming's guide, but Democrats might think twice before tittering.

This one's been a spellbinder, with most of the egg fragments splattered in the vicinity of News and Tribune publisher Bill Hanson's face.

I'll get back to that in a moment.

Over the years NA Confidential has had much to say about the peculiar local institution known as Harvest Homecoming, not all of it positive.

However, even critics must concede the usefulness of the Harvest Homecoming organization's stance on political neutrality, especially during election cycles. Given the festival's business model, neutrality makes perfect sense. It's better for inclusiveness, and inclusiveness is better for the bottom line.

So it transpired that local Democrats started tittering at having stolen a march on the dreaded GOP by sneaking a blatant "Vote Democrat" campaign ad onto the cover of the Harvest Homecoming guide, as published by the News and Tribune, which didn't think for even a millisecond to consult the festival's leadership before cashing the check -- thus doing something never previously done, and quite visibly breaking faith.

It's worth noting that it was Clark County's Democrats financing the ad for a Floyd County event, which tells us two things: First, though mistaken in this instance, at least Clark County Democrats have a pulse; second, that Floyd County Democrats must still be behind on their office phone bills, and they might even owe their landlord back rent.

Their landlord being Warren Nash, party guru and human rights commission doorstop, it must be hard looking at the stack of greenbacks in the mayor's campaign fund and knowing you'll be recycling aluminium soda cans to keep Duke Energy at bay.

Harvest Homecoming quickly issued a statement reasserting the organization's political neutrality, concisely and correctly throwing the newspaper under the bus.

For many years that space has been purchased by a local car sales company. This year, they opted to not purchase the ad. With the space up for grabs, The Tribune sold the ad to the Democratic party. This is was completely out of our control and I was not aware of the advertisement until it was published.

By the way, the subtle dig is stupendous: it's not the Tribune any longer, after all, but the News and Tribune, a compound name reminding us daily about the way New Albany is routinely shortchanged in coverage by a newspaper doing business in Jeffersonville.

Shamed into public comment, Hanson couldn't even manage to pen a personal apology. Instead, Chris Morris was enlisted to "interview" his own boss (below), which tells you everything you need to know about the shambles overtaking this persistently misdirected enterprise.

Meanwhile, the social media response of most Democrats has been to defend the ad placement and deride Republicans who have complained about it.

Really?

Can you imagine what these same Democrats would be saying if the advertisement looked like this?

The hypocrisy isn't surprising at all, just indicative of the depths we're plumbing.

The point remains: Harvest Homecoming has the right to declare political neutrality, and the News and Tribune has a professional responsibility to honor it. Hanson's masked apology is maladroit, but at least he did what he should have done.

The rest of it is the usual partisan fluff, which should be deposited in history's dustbin prior to the inevitable excursion to Harvest Homecoming to ingest sugar doughnuts and rolled oysters.

And now, the editor who typically asks no questions interviews the publisher who'd rather not answer any.

News and Tribune apologizes for political ad on cover of Harvest Homecoming guide, by Chris Morris

The Harvest Homecoming Festival is preparing for its 51st year in downtown New Albany. It has grown from a few tables set up along Pearl Street to become one of the largest festivals in the state of Indiana. People look forward to it each year.

The Harvest Homecoming means a lot to the people of Southern Indiana.

But throughout its history the volunteers who operate the festival have never endorsed a candidate or one political party over another. The Harvest Homecoming Festival is independent and appreciates support from Democrats, Republicans, independents and others. It has never been thrown into the muck and mud of politics.

This year the News and Tribune published its annual Harvest Homecoming guide on Sept. 28. The tab is full of festival information, including a schedule of events, booth listings and photos of past festivals.

But it’s the cover that has gotten the most attention, and it has nothing to do with the photo of Mr. Pumpkin. The confusion is with the banner advertisement, paid for by the Clark County Democrats, reads “Vote Democrat” and runs along the bottom of the cover.

The ad’s background color is dark brown, the same as the rest of the cover, so it blends in, making it look like the festival is asking readers to vote Democrat or that the guide was produced by the Clark County Democrats. Neither is true.

“The tab is a product of the News and Tribune and reflects in no way the beliefs of the Harvest Homecoming committee or the event itself,” News and Tribune Publisher Bill Hanson said. “The News and Tribune regrets the uproar it has created among some and accepts all blame anyone wishes to assign.”

The cover is prime advertising space, and in the past has been sold to an area car dealer. In the future, no political ads will be sold on publications such as the Harvest Homecoming guide to avoid confusion.

“I want to apologize for our lack of good judgment in allowing a political party to purchase the ad space on the cover of this year’s Harvest Homecoming special edition,” Hanson said. “Given our current political climate, we should have been more discerning. Lesson learned at the News and Tribune.”

— Assistant Editor Chris Morris

ON THE AVENUES: The Weekly Wad? It was a modest start.

ON THE AVENUES: The Weekly Wad? It was a modest start.

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

The following column about the Weekly Wad originally was published in the Tribune on March 24, 2010, and was repeated here in 2013. The column is dedicated to the memory of the late David Roark, whose boundless wit so enlivened those times.

---

Not so long ago, an old friend observed that my meek and unobtrusive writing style – as displayed over thirty years in letters to the editor, a beer appreciation newsletter, Internet blogs and finally newspaper and magazine columns like this one – can be traced back to baby steps at the Weekly Wad.

I’m not entirely sure he meant it as a compliment.

For the record, the inaugural Weekly Wad was an underground “newspaper” of four crudely mimeographed pages. A dozen Floyd Central freshmen collaboratively wrote and “published” it in 1975 by purloining paper and supplies from the audio-visual department, running off 200 illicit copies, and distributing them free of charge to a subscriber list made up of friends we trusted not to tell on us.

The first Weekly Wad is widely remembered for a front page illustration depicting our principal as wearing a Nazi armband and giving the requisite Hitler salute. Seeing that he’s now on the school board, and recently voted for neighborhood school closings, the mature adult in me is resisting the temptation to draw obvious parallels.

Another feature of our first born was an open advocacy of beer consumption on the part of a group still well short of legal drinking age. There were a few unflattering references to fellow students and teachers, and a music review of a group long forgotten, or elected to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, or neither – maybe both.

Floyd Central’s corridors were teeming with excited readers when one of our distribution associates was collared by the heat. After a brief round of water boarding, he was coerced, sans Miranda Rights, into a full confession. In short order, the entire staff was taken into custody. Parents were called, suspensions were plotted … and then the scandal became even more bizarre than before.

Much to our surprise, our folks (two of whom were teachers, including my mother) took the case full bore against the somewhat befuddled administrators, arguing that for 15-year-olds like us to seek creative literary and journalistic outlets apart from the pre-ordained curriculum surely denoted abject failure somewhere in the chain of educational bureaucracy, and that we might better be rewarded for educational initiative rather than punished for illegality.

After all, we were writing, albeit poorly, and not painting graffiti on the walls.

There was the small matter of materials we’d appropriated in the name of the revolution, and so after a cooling-off period, cursory wrist-slappings and assorted pieties intended to channel our youthful energies into more conventional artistic directions, we were permitted to remunerate the school corporation for its dead trees and resume our journalistic careers, so long as we had a faculty advisor and refrained from A-V pilferage.

Belated thanks to you, Mr. Neely, for agreeing to sponsor the “new” Weekly Wad, circa 1976, and to my mom for letting me use her 1950’s-era manual typewriter to compose screeds against cafeteria food, undemocratic cheerleader selection processes, and turncoat hall monitors. These were cut out with scissors, pasted into place, and when an adult was available to play taxi, taken to a long-departed business in New Albany called Pronto Press.

Our allowances and odd job monies were pooled to pay for these sporadically released opuses, which decreased in frequency as we advanced toward graduation. A final farewell issue planned for the autumn of 1977 was completed and printed, but never released owing to the possibility that the athletic department might object to the strident tone of an expose on individual versus team sports.

It has become known as the “Lost Wad,” and occasionally pops up on Ebay at vastly inflated prices.

Throughout the 1980’s, during my tenure as part-time clerk at the late and lamented Scoreboard Liquors, I staged periodic revivals of the Wad. Most of these were undertaken with the help and connivance of my primary co-conspirator Byron, whose colorful accounts of high life in low places appeared under the banner, “And Now for the Truth,” which I believe we lifted in its entirety from a Herbert W. Armstrong religious tract.

My favorite episode detailed an unfortunate incident with a loaded taco on a crowded Market Street during Vodka-Thon, an annual walkabout through the bedlam of Harvest Homecoming’s Saturday night booths, when we’d be armed only with plastic cups of Stolichnaya previously passed through the shadow of a Rose’s Lime Juice bottle to produce the best ambulatory Gimlet in town.

During this second Weekly Wad era, with the subject matter turning toward topical downtown New Albany issues like the stone-deaf construction of the canvas-topped waterfront Trinkle Dome, I first took to referring to the Wad’s newsroom as occupying an opulent suite high atop the glittering Elsby Building.

More than anything else, these developments foreshadowed endeavors to come. When the NA Confidential blog was founded in 2004, it stemmed from an escalating personal interest in the downtown area. Recalling my nascent interests in the topic during the late eighties, and how these peeked through the nebulous haze, I almost named the blog the Weekly Wad before changing my mind at the last minute.

It’s stupefying and quaint to consider the history of an underground newspaper in that dusty, pre-wired era. Kids today build interactive web sites at the age of five – that is, if they haven’t already abandoned the Internet for sophisticated journals of cultural critique disseminated by their handheld mobile devices.

My generation had subversion in our brains, and larceny in our hearts. If the Internet had existed then, we’d probably still be in jail.

---

Recent columns:

April 13: ON THE AVENUES: Ain't it funny how we all seem to look the same?

April 6: ON THE AVENUES: On swill and tornadoes, circa '75.

March 30: ON THE AVENUES: Our great and noble leader is here to stay, so let's break out the țuică and make a joyful noise.

March 23: ON THE AVENUES: Cataloguing my consciousness on a warm spring day.

March 16: ON THE AVENUES: It's all so simple, says Jeff Gahan.Remove the impoverished, and voila! No more poverty!