Dueling resolutions: Dan Coffey has nothing whatever to do except waste council time on agenda formalities.

Of all the conceivable ways that New Albany's city council might use its time ... but what we get is this. Why must this city be held captive by imbecility?

First, Dan Coffey wants "his" council (make no mistake, it's his toy) to return to the use of a prayer that has never once been stipulated in ordinance -- ever.

ON THE AVENUES SPECIAL: The proper separation of church and council.

Next, John Gonder counters with what must surely be Monty Pythonesque satire in the form of a "compromise" to resolve a problem that does not exist (see below).

The suspense is killing me.

Will Scott Blair remain consistent to his resolution allergy after openly vowing earlier this week to support the rote recitation of Christian (only) prayer prior to the council's usual expeditions into inanity?

Inspiring views from New Albany's bicentennial coloring book ...

 ... as pilfered from Bob Caesar's night stand, and with the crayon marks duly laundered.

(thanks to KC)

Well a young man ... he ain't got nothin' in the world these days.

In case you were wondering, The Stone is a "forum for contemporary philosophers on issues both timely and timeless." This is a long and worthwhile read. Right, wrong or indifferent, it represents an attempt to think about root causes of phenomena, rather than our glib tendency as a nation to skate along the realm of symptoms.

Guns and the Decline of the Young Man, by Christy Wampole (The Stone, part of the New York Times Opinionator blog)

Adam Lanza was a young man. Jacob Roberts was a young man. James Holmes is a young man. Seung-Hui Cho was a young man. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were young men.

We can all name a dozen or so hypotheses about why they kill: their parents’ unlocked gun cabinet, easy access to weapons on the Internet, over- or under-medication, violent video games and TV programs, undiagnosed or misdiagnosed mental disorders, abusive or indifferent parents, no stable social network, bullying. However, young women are equally exposed to many of the same conditions yet rarely turn a weapon on others. This leaves us wondering about the young men.

There is something about life in the United States, it seems, that is conducive to young men planning and executing large-scale massacres. But the reasons elude us ...

Cars are bad enough. Walk it across, for safety's sake.

At 6:00 p.m. in winter on a Yum Center event night, a bicyclist riding on the sidewalk of an overcrowded bridge -- the only way for non-motorized vehicles to get across the Ohio short of using a dinghy -- hits a pedestrian, knocking him into traffic, and prompting the Jeffersonville police spokesman to utter the nonsensical admonition that cyclists should be on an expanse of asphalt which is entirely and absolutely unpatrolled in the best of times, and where cyclists previously have been killed and their killers not prosecuted by the cowardly local enforcement and justice arms.

I generally defend cyclists, and the one biking in this instance was right to use the sidewalk lest he be killed himself by distracted drivers (the only sidewalk exception I'm willing to tolerate owing to the danger of the area), but he was in the wrong when it came to the way he chose to use the sidewalk. One should only be cycling in saddle at full speed on that accursed bridge when visibility is perfect. Many is the time I've walked my bike across it in deference to pedestrians, because it is their sidewalk, not mine. Ultimately, all of it owes to the near comical shortsightedness of autocentric metro officials and political ciphers, but we already knew that, didn't we?

Pedestrian in critical condition after Clark bridge accident, by Harold J. Adams (Courier-Journal)

Caption contest: OSIN's automotive pop-up ad.

If you save the background photo, the car dealership names disappear!

How should the caption read? We know who will win, which is why I'm no longer offering prizes, but just for the sport of it, here's mine:

"Piss on you -- I work for the Alabama State Retirement Fund."

More on scentless apprentices.

Do newspaper reporters do it on purpose?

New Albany to address funding; Budget shortage concerns council, by Dick Kaukas (Courier-Journal).

Councilmen Steve Price and Dan Coffey said the council should be included as the administration determines the best financing tools to pay for road repairs and other needs.

"The council and the mayor need to discuss options," Price said yesterday. "We need to look at the big picture."

You think to yourself: Surely the 3rd district's uncouncilman said something during his interview with Kaukas that was more specific, or profound -- hell, just pick your own descriptor -- than "look at the big picture," which to Price is as hoary (and meaningless) an observation as Henny Youngman's "take my wife -- please."

The big picture is this: At a time when it appears that the commercial area in Price's council district is slowly coming to life, he can only contribute rote babbling about "cuts," and after more than four years in office, he has no more idea of what it takes to make the pie bigger than our four cats ... combined.

When's the next election?