Cabbages and kingpins, one year later.

Last year around this time, NAC was reaching out weekly to One Southern Indiana, selflessly offering to help our regional oligarch's benevolent society find a new kingpin. Among our candidates was the Angry Easter Bunny (April 8, 2012).

We got bored and suspended the search in May, and they ended up hiring a Queenpin instead:

1Si makes one small step to reduce CEO sexting, hires non-Wassmer female exec from Benton Harbor as kingpin.

At least when our routine reached its curdling of a sell-by date, we knew when to stop. Here is a reprise, as summarized in the final episode.

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Kingpin of the week: There's only one, isn't there? (May 11, 2012)

JAY-sus, are these people EVER going to hire someone?

It sure would be nice to direct the cannonade toward a specific target rather than the scattershot practice adopted during the past eleven weeks, but as watchdogs, we have little choice in the matter.

Consequently, while not exactly running its course -- there's always time to casually eviscerate One Southern Indiana for its pandering imperiousness -- our "kingpin of the week" thread has reached its sell-by date.

It is striking, the extent to which 1Si as a marketing-driven design feature perfectly mirrors the mundane conformity of the exurb: Chain-centered, chock-a-block, whitewashed and identically-costumed Ken doll wannabe, seeking to "drain the hills and the sea of color." 1Si offers the safety of the herd, of business lingo buzz-speak, and the necessary assurance to peddle insurance. All around One Southern Indiana, there are potential grassroots movements aimed at the ways to come, and yet there persists our locally endowed (why?) chamber of (past) commerce, dedicated to foisting tolls on the populace merely to suit the prerequisites of River Ridge.

Can there ever be such things as glasnost and perestroika in such an organization? It is unlikely. But 1Si is adept at staging frequent and self-reverential Nurnberg rallies, as with one forthcoming on May 22, to which a friend refers in this Twitter post:

Yes, I'm proud to be a solid pain in Kerry "Oligarch" Stemler's ass, and not just because someone needs to do it.

It isn't what he does "for" the community, it's what he and his acolytes are doing "to" it: Shackling the community with policies, mind-sets, beer preferences and personal wardrobes that reflect an economic development mindset of corporatist, top-down exploitation and extraction, all of it having to do with the enrichment of the ownership and managerial elites forever enshrined in 1Si's country club ethos, and always at the expense of ancillaries (i.e., the rest of us) so eager to please these faux exemplars of propriety that we squeal like little kids playing grown-up games -- while the grown-ups ... while people like Kerry Stemler ... laugh at us for being so stupid.

If that's your idea of "economic development," feel free to bake some mud pies. Perhaps the idea can be franchised at a networking function. Meanwhile, One Southern Indiana is no more than a personal fiefdom, and the only tinhorn kingpin who ever really mattered is Kerry Stemler himself. He's the twelfth winner of the trophy, and I have a suggestion for where the trophy case should be located.

Previous weekly winners of Kingpin of the Week ...

Pinocchio
CDM (formerly Wilbur) Smith
Thunder Over Louisville
Margaret Thatcher
Angry Easter Bunny
Sancho Panza
Sean Payton
Jethro Bodine
Rush Limbaugh
Vaughan Scott
Benny Breeze

Kingpin of the week: There's only one, isn't there?

JAY-sus, are these people EVER going to hire someone?

It sure would be nice to direct the cannonade toward a specific target rather than the scattershot practice adopted during the past eleven weeks, but as watchdogs, we have little choice in the matter.

Consequently, while not exactly running its course -- there's always time to casually eviscerate One Southern Indiana for its pandering imperiousness -- our "kingpin of the week" thread has reached its sell-by date.

It is striking, the extent to which 1Si as a marketing-driven design feature perfectly mirrors the mundane conformity of the exurb: Chain-centered, chock-a-block, whitewashed and identically-costumed Ken doll wannabe, seeking to "drain the hills and the sea of color." 1Si offers the safety of the herd, of business lingo buzz-speak, and the necessary assurance to peddle insurance. All around One Southern Indiana, there are potential grassroots movements aimed at the ways to come, and yet there persists our locally endowed (why?) chamber of (past) commerce, dedicated to foisting tolls on the populace merely to suit the prerequisites of River Ridge.

Can there ever be such things as glasnost and perestroika in such an organization? It is unlikely. But 1Si is adept at staging frequent and self-reverential Nurnberg rallies, as with one forthcoming on May 22, to which a friend refers in this Twitter post:

Yes, I'm proud to be a solid pain in Kerry "Oligarch" Stemler's ass, and not just because someone needs to do it.

It isn't what he does "for" the community, it's what he and his acolytes are doing "to" it: Shackling the community with policies, mind-sets, beer preferences and personal wardrobes that reflect an economic development mindset of corporatist, top-down exploitation and extraction, all of it having to do with the enrichment of the ownership and managerial elites forever enshrined in 1Si's country club ethos, and always at the expense of ancillaries (i.e., the rest of us) so eager to please these faux exemplars of propriety that we squeal like little kids playing grown-up games -- while the grown-ups ... while people like Kerry Stemler ... laugh at us for being so stupid.

If that's your idea of "economic development," feel free to bake some mud pies. Perhaps the idea can be franchised at a networking function. Meanwhile, One Southern Indiana is no more than a personal fiefdom, and the only tinhorn kingpin who ever really mattered is Kerry Stemler himself. He's the twelfth winner of the trophy, and I have a suggestion for where the trophy case should be located.

Previous weekly winners of Kingpin of the Week ...

Pinocchio
CDM (formerly Wilbur) Smith
Thunder Over Louisville
Margaret Thatcher
Angry Easter Bunny
Sancho Panza
Sean Payton
Jethro Bodine
Rush Limbaugh
Vaughan Scott
Benny Breeze

Wooden you? Time for another 1Si temporary executive officer.

Chicago XI was the last of the group's albums with founding member Terry Kath playing guitar. Those of you who never experienced Chicago during Kath's time on earth might be very surprised at the sound of it. 

Speaking of the number eleven, it's time to choose yet another strictly temporary head cheese for the local one-stop oligarch's enfluffment boutique, otherwise known as One Southern Indiana (May 4 - May 10).

For those with short memories, NAC volunteered its headhunting services after a former 1Si CEO displayed his digital mutton javelin to one too many mobile devices. Even Benny Breeze couldn't take the heat -- and he doesn't even exist apart from the tortured imagination of a 1Si bigwig.

Now, interminable weeks later, once again we're compelled to speculate: Who'll be the next ephemeral 1Si kingpin, that incredibly short-lived someone who intones the doleful One Southern Indiana oath of office, words that inevitably precede the getaway after seven days working on the oligarch's chain gang?

I would like to announce that I have accepted the post of CEO of One Southern Indiana. I regret that I have to step down on Monday. I treasure our time that we have worked together.

By the way, did you know that New Albany's favorite son Josh Dallas, starring as Prince Charming in the TV series "Once Upon A Time," is in town for Derby? It seems appropriate that in the spirit of fairy tales (including the Ohio River Bridges Project), 1Si's next temporary CEO is ...

Pinocchio. He's the perfect fit for One Southern Indiana, with a toll-worthy nose capable of expanding all the way to the Drumanard Estate, and encompassing each and every oh-so-tall bridge tale spun by our Stemleresque chamber of small business de-commerce.

Previous weekly winners ...

CDM (formerly Wilbur) Smith
Thunder Over Louisville
Margaret Thatcher
Angry Easter Bunny
Sancho Panza
Sean Payton
Jethro Bodine
Rush Limbaugh
Vaughan Scott
Benny Breeze

Kingpin time again: Why not cut out the middle men, One Southern Indiana?

As we prepare to select a tenth temporary titular leader for the local one-stop oligarch's enfluffment shop (April 27-May 3), let's look first at this account of a recent posturing seminar staged by One Southern Indiana:

Gilkey among leaders with tolling concerns; Ohio River Bridges Project among the topics of mayors’ luncheon, by Daniel Suddeath (N and T)

CLARKSVILLE — Before he addressed One Southern Indiana members on the topic, Clarksville Town Council President John Gilkey conceded his take on tolls for the Ohio River Bridges Project would likely keep him from being “the most popular person in the room.”

As an organization, the Clark and Floyd counties chamber of commerce group has endorsed utilizing tolls instead of tax increases to pay for the bridges project. But that didn’t inhibit Gilkey from asserting that tolls could create a barrier for Southern Indiana commerce.

“I have serious reservations about the impact of the tolls on local businesses,” Gilkey said Wednesday during 1si’s “Lunch with the Mayors” event at the Holiday Inn Lakeview in Clarksville.

Being skeptical sorts here at NAC, we've looked past the performance of the attending mayors and focused instead on the current state of temporary/temporary 1Si "leadership" in the absence of permanent/temporary top-salary-garnering:

In a statement on its website, 1si confirms its support of the entire bridges project — which is the construction of two bridges and the reconfiguration of Spaghetti Junction.

The organization states it supports “no increase in taxes, but fair tolls/user fees and variable pricing for frequent customers” to foot the project.

“It is imperative that our citizens understand the facts behind this support,” Matt Hall, vice president of economic development and interim CEO for 1si, said in the statement.

“Like it or not, we have no choice but to build the bridges now for safety reasons and to advance the quality of life and economy here.”

Let's repeat that final comment by the temp/temp, Matt Hall.

“Like it or not, we have no choice but to build the bridges now for safety reasons and to advance the quality of life and economy here.”

This statement represents sneering arrogance of such a high order that it would be embarrassing even if coming from the mouth of 1Si's puppetmaster, Kerry Stemler ... but perhaps it actually did. Did anyone in attendance at the mayoral forum see whether Stemler's lips were moving as Hall spoke?

1Si power indeed seems to corrupt absolutely, but we have a weekly short-time job search to facilitate. Who'll be the next ephemeral 1Si kingpin, that incredibly lucky someone who surely will consult Expedia for flight arrangements back to where he or she came BEFORE reciting the solemn One Southern Indiana oath of office, which invariably precedes the resignation following a hard week on the oligarch's chain gang?

I would like to announce that I have accepted the post of CEO of One Southern Indiana. I regret that I have to step down on Monday. I treasure our time that we have worked together.

This week's selection represents a long-overdue paring of extraneous layers of control. Why have expensive, salaried personnel at their stations on the Sunny Side when you can install the only douche bag who really matters?

That's right: 1Si's next temporary CEO is none other than CDM Smith, formerly known as Wilbur Smith, whose brand was retired, presumably because of frequent errors in tolling predictions, calculations and suggestions. Like it or not, One Southern Indiana has no choice but to bring CDM Smith on board now, for propaganda reasons, and to advance the quality of life and economy at One Southern Indiana ... which after all, always has been the real point of shilling for tolling.

Previous weekly winners ...

Thunder Over Louisville
Margaret Thatcher
Angry Easter Bunny
Sancho Panza
Sean Payton
Jethro Bodine
Rush Limbaugh
Vaughan Scott
Benny Breeze

It's the 9th inning, and One Southern Indiana's bringing in another CEO.

You know, I've been wondering. When One Southern Indiana finally does hire a CEO, will he or she get a "get out of tolls free" card?

Meanwhile, we have a temporary job search to facilitate. Who'll be the next ephemeral 1Si kingpin, that lucky someone who surely will check member travel agents for his or her ticket out of town just prior to reciting the solemn oath of office, which precedes the blessedly permanent vacation that ensues after a whole week's oligopoly-fluffing labor?

I would like to announce that I have accepted the post of CEO of One Southern Indiana. I regret that I have to step down on Monday. I treasure our time that we have worked together.

Well, who (er, what) else could it be for the week of April 20-27?

Thunder Over Louisville (better viewed from 1Si's side of the ditch, natch) takes a back seat to nothing and no one when it comes to chest-thumping flatulence, and besides that, we're told that Kerry Stemler adores sparklers.

What a match! Previous weekly winners ...

Margaret Thatcher
Angry Easter Bunny
Sancho Panza
Sean Payton
Jethro Bodine
Rush Limbaugh
Vaughan Scott
Benny Breeze

The 8th One Southern Indiana Kingpin for a Week is right here.

The search for One Southern Indiana's latest temporary CEO continues, and NAC is volunteering weekly headhunting assistance, because we're civic-minded when not otherwise stuck in Bridge Tolls City, all inTOXICated again. Previous weekly winners have been:

Angry Easter Bunny
Sancho Panza
Sean Payton
Jethro Bodine
Rush Limbaugh
Vaughan Scott
Benny Breeze

Who'll be the next momentary 1Si kingpin, who will check his or her travel arrangements just prior to reciting the oath of office, which precedes the permanent vacation that follows a whole week's vainglorious labor?

I would like to announce that I have accepted the post of CEO of One Southern Indiana. I regret that I have to step down on Monday. I treasure our time that we have worked together.

She's tanned, rested and ready, and Margaret Thatcher is stepping away from retirement to lend some stiff upper lip to 1Si's ongoing advocacy of taxing Indiana's workers to get to their jobs, via bridge tolls and unnecessary, obsolete-before-being-built ORBP infrastructure. It's called One Southern Indiana Right to Pay to Work (except union dues, of course), and the exurban enrichment society is counting on Maggie to keep them damned pergessives quiet ... well, for a week at least.

The making of Maggie (Guardian)
She found it easy to charm men ... women simply didn't count She was the grocer's daughter with a stong moral conscience who ruled with an iron fist - or so the story goes. In fact, she was a millionaire's wife, who lacked scruples and did what her male colleagues told her, argues Germaine Greer on the eve of the 30th anniversary of Mrs Thatcher's election

The 7th One Southern Indiana Kingpin for a Week has some cleaning up to do.

One Southern Indiana's latest short-term CEO has been on the job since Friday, but in deference to the holiday, we've waited until now to make the big announcement.

That's right, it's the Angry Easter Bunny, and can anyone guess why this most temporary of titular title occupants is so steamed?

The Angry Easter Bunny is red hot because the Ogle Foundation's Ohio River Bridge Project poll proved quite vividly that among others, 1Si, Kerry Stemler, the Bridges Authority, Ed Clere, Ron Grooms, Steve Stemler and St. Daniels himself have all been completely full of shit from the very start about the impact of bridge tolling on Hoosiers.

Even for a rabid rabbit, that's a huge load of smelly doo-doo to scoop, and the Angry Easter Bunny's week-long term at the 1Si helm is going to involve way more shoveling than planting painted eggs and fluffing the little kids.

Who will 1Si's kingpin be next week? Tune in on Friday, and we will gather at the river and listen to the oath of office that precedes the vacation that follows a whole week's vainglorious labor.

I would like to announce that I have accepted the post of CEO of One Southern Indiana. I regret that I have to step down on Monday. I treasure our time that we have worked together.

Previous weekly winners:

Sancho Panza
Sean Payton
Jethro Bodine
Rush Limbaugh
Vaughan Scott
Benny Breeze

And finally, thanks to K for the suggestion.

It's time for a 6th Kingpin for a Week: 1Si's CEO for the next seven days is ...

The search for One Southern Indiana's latest temporary CEO continues in the aftermath of the Wassmer Error. NAC has volunteered its weekly headhunting assistance, because we're all civic-minded when not otherwise inTOXICated.

So, who'll be the next momentary occupant of the throne, he or she who will solemnly swear aloud 1Si's oath of office?

I would like to announce that I have accepted the post of CEO of One Southern Indiana. I regret that I have to step down on Monday. I treasure our time that we have worked together.

Last week's winner was Sean Payton, preceded by Jethro Bodine, Rush Limbaugh, Vaughan Scott and Benny Breeze. They've all earned the vacation that follows a whole week's vainglorious labor. Today’s choice as 1Si CEO for the week of March 31 - April 6, 2012 is ...

 ... a man long accustomed to playing the role of sidekick ...

 ... because after all, One Southern Indiana's eminence grise, Kerry Stemler, remains the top dog in all but title.

Who will 1Si's kingpin be next week? Tune in next Friday, and we'll tell you -- whether or not you want to know.

The fifth Kingpin for a Week: 1Si's CEO for the next seven days is ...

One Southern Indiana still searches for new temporary help, and as always, NAC is thrilled to offer weekly headhunting assistance. We're just inTOXICated that way. So, who'll be the next momentary hot seat occupant, who will solemnly swear to 1Si's oath of office?

I would like to announce that I have accepted the post of CEO of One Southern Indiana. I regret that I have to step down on Monday. I treasure our time that we have worked together.

Last week's winner was Jethro Bodine, preceded by Rush Limbaugh, Vaughan Scott and Benny Breeze. They've all earned the rest that follows a whole week's laborious toil. Today’s choice as 1Si CEO for the week of March 23 - March 30, 2012 is ...

Sean Payton, suspended head coach of the New Orleans Saints. Payton has spare time on his hands, because ...

The NFL imposed some of the most severe penalties in pro football history Wednesday when Commissioner Roger Goodell suspended two New Orleans Saints coaches as well as the team’s general manager and a former coach for operating and tolerating a bounty system that paid players for hits that injured opponents.

When One Southern Indiana's eminence grise, Kerry Stemler, learned that Payton was available during his unintended absence from football coaching, all Stemler could hear was the sound of anti-tolls activists having their kneecaps dislocated. It was sweet music, indeed, but the bounties need to start immediately. Payton only has seven days. Who will 1Si's kingpin be next week? Tune in next Friday, and we'll tell you.

Kingpin for a Week, Part 4: This week's 1Si CEO is ...

Jody Wassmer's now forgotten, and somewhere in Owensboro, he's celling phone plans.

One Southern Indiana now is a month into the search for new temporary help, and as always, NAC is delighted -- nay, thrilled -- to offer weekly headhunting assistance. We're lean, mean, green and community minded that way. So, who'll be the next momentary hot seat occupant to take 1Si's solemn oath of office?

I would like to announce that I have accepted the post of CEO of One Southern Indiana. I regret that I have to step down on Monday. I treasure our time that we have worked together.

Last week's winner was Rush Limbaugh, and before that, both Vaughan Scott and Scott's pretend son, Benny Breeze. They've put in their time. Today’s choice as 1Si CEO for the week of March 16 - March 22, 2012, as nominated by frequent blog reader MC, is ...

... Jethro Bodine.

Here's Jethro's resume, and in truth, a better fit is hard to imagine, isn't it?

Education—Grad-ge-ated the sixth grade, and it only took three years
Experience—Fry Cook, Astronaut, Double Naught Spy, Knight
Other—Wealthy Kinfolk

That last qualification reportedly caught Kerry Stemler's attention, but no matter: Jethro's already a day into his brief reign. Who will One Southern Indiana's kingpin be next week? Tune in, and we'll tell you.

Kingpin for a Week, Part 3: This week's 1Si CEO is ...

The Wassmer error is over, and somewhere amid the solicitations for cell phone smut, One Southern Indiana has dusted off its craigslist help wanted posting. NAC is delighted to offer weekly headhunting assistance, because we're just community minded that way.

Who'll be the next hot seat occupant to take 1Si's oath of office?

I would like to announce that I have accepted the post of CEO of One Southern Indiana. I regret that I have to step down on Monday. I treasure our time that we have worked together.

Last week's winner was Vaughan Scott, and before that, Scott's pretend son, Benny Breeze, but they've both put in their time. Today’s choice as 1Si CEO for the week of March 9 - March 15, 2012 ...

 ... is none other than Rush Limbaugh.

With advertisers abandoning him left and right, Rush is on the verge of skint, but until the heat is off and the money returns, he has the perfect credentials for a week at One Southern Indiana. After all, 1Si venerates the model of politicization-masquerading-as-economic-development model offered by the US Chamber of Commerce, and in the past, Rush has defended the Chamber against the scurrilous attacks of Barack Obama. Rush, the US Chamber, Mitch Daniels -- why, they're so many peas in a pod, aren't they?

But Rush's 1Si tenure clock already is ticking down. Who will One Southern Indiana's kingpin be next week? Tune in, and we'll tell you.

Kingpin for a Week, Part 2: This week's 1Si CEO is ...

Jody Wassmer's gone back to Owensboro with his cell phone on his knee, and One Southern Indiana has the frayed "help wanted" sign hanging on the front door, so we've decided to provide weekly headhunting assistance.

Who'll be the next hot seat occupant to issue this statement?

I would like to announce that I have accepted the post of CEO of One Southern Indiana. I regret that I have to step down on Monday. I treasure our time that we have worked together.

Last week's winner was Benny Breeze, but he's put in his seven days. Today’s choice as 1Si CEO for the week of March 2 - March 8, 2012 ...

 .. is Benny's conceptual father, Vaughan Scott, who is quite experienced at multi-tasking and will wear numerous hats these next seven days: CEO, Oligarchy Board chairman, improvement agent of the region's bottom-feeder line, and because Benny's contract has expired, chief Goebbelsian "fact"-finder for the bloated monstrosity known as the Ohio River Bridges Project.

But his tenure clock's already ticking. Who will One Southern Indiana's kingpin be next week? Tune in, and we'll tell you.