Join the all-new Crusades and smack the Muslims with Jesus (working knowledge of the Russian tongue required for battlefield promotions).

It's a mistake to berate fundamentalist Christians in America for their inability to grasp that dispensing with church-state separation leads directly to a theocratic situation not unlike the one favored by Islamic militants.

In fact, they grasp it perfectly well, and it's what a good many of them actively desire. If you're wondering why many of these reverse-jihadists are untroubled by the Trump-Putin bromance, it's because somewhere underneath the residue of godless Bolshevism, there is Orthodox Russia's traditional imperative to bring Christianity to its surroundings.

Sound familiar? Russia is a potential ally in the Jesus pincer movement against Them Muslims. Consequently, the Trump presidency is the ideal time to relaunch the Crusades, but this time as a reality television show.

For a taste of the script ... the dude seems serious.

A New Crusade Must Be Declared Against Islam, And Christendom Must Rise Again To Have The Cross Crush The Crescent, by Theodore Shoebat (some crazy ass website)

The nations of Christendom will soon restore themselves back under the refuge of the Holy Cross, the Holy Roman Empire will rise again through divinely destined Russia, and the Holy Cross will crush the crescent.

As testaments go, there are new and old -- so I'm told.

Muslim terrorists aren't the only ones being called to militancy by the "internet.' You'll see something like this on social media, repeated hundreds of times daily.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?? THEY WANT TO KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF US.

It tends to be followed immediately by self-identified Christians competing to topple the most mosques, close the greatest expanse of border, and confine the most Muslims in concentration camps.

I'm just the village atheist, and to be completely honest, very little of my time has been spent perusing that "good" book.

But really, an eye for an eye?

Jesus Christ, that's dumb ... although, on further reflection, He beat me to this conclusion long, long ago.