Join the all-new Crusades and smack the Muslims with Jesus (working knowledge of the Russian tongue required for battlefield promotions).

It's a mistake to berate fundamentalist Christians in America for their inability to grasp that dispensing with church-state separation leads directly to a theocratic situation not unlike the one favored by Islamic militants.

In fact, they grasp it perfectly well, and it's what a good many of them actively desire. If you're wondering why many of these reverse-jihadists are untroubled by the Trump-Putin bromance, it's because somewhere underneath the residue of godless Bolshevism, there is Orthodox Russia's traditional imperative to bring Christianity to its surroundings.

Sound familiar? Russia is a potential ally in the Jesus pincer movement against Them Muslims. Consequently, the Trump presidency is the ideal time to relaunch the Crusades, but this time as a reality television show.

For a taste of the script ... the dude seems serious.

A New Crusade Must Be Declared Against Islam, And Christendom Must Rise Again To Have The Cross Crush The Crescent, by Theodore Shoebat (some crazy ass website)

The nations of Christendom will soon restore themselves back under the refuge of the Holy Cross, the Holy Roman Empire will rise again through divinely destined Russia, and the Holy Cross will crush the crescent.

Prayer, needles and Pence. Radical Christian extremists, be gone.

Mike Pence: Radical Christian Extremist (photo credit Patheos)

"In the face of a growing epidemic, Mr. Pence put aside his own moral opposition to giving syringes to drug users to allow a needle exchange program."
--- New York Times

I'm of the generation unable to read these words without recalling a beloved, iconic Ronald Reagan, steadfastly ignoring the AIDS epidemic not for a few months, but more than a few years.

I'm of the secular cohort unable to fathom why prayer is required to interpret science.

I'm of the local constituency of Ed Clere's, who gets good (and deserved) press here, and will be getting my vote this November in his bid to serve a fifth term in the Indiana House.

Mike Pence’s Response to H.I.V. Outbreak: Prayer, Then a Change of Heart, by Megan Twohey (NYT)

AUSTIN, Ind. — On the evening of March 24, 2015, Sheriff Dan McClain got an unexpected voice mail: “This is Gov. Mike Pence calling. I would welcome the opportunity to get your counsel on what’s going on in Scott County.”

What was going on was unprecedented in Indiana and rare in the United States: H.I.V. was spreading with terrifying speed among intravenous drug users in this rural community near the Kentucky border. Local, state and federal health officials were urging the governor to allow clean needles to be distributed to slow the outbreak.

But Indiana law made it illegal to possess a syringe without a prescription. And Mr. Pence, a steadfast conservative, was morally opposed to needle exchanges on the grounds that they supported drug abuse.

And this:

On March 23, more than two months after the outbreak was detected, Mr. Pence said he was going to go home and pray on it. He spoke to the sheriff the next night.

Two days later, he issued an executive order allowing syringes to be distributed in Scott County.

But this:

State Representative Ed Clere, a Republican who was among those pushing the governor to approve the needle exchange, said he was relieved when Mr. Pence finally did so. He also wished it had been done sooner. “It was disappointing that it took so much effort to bring the governor on board,” Mr. Clere said.

Yes, disappointing. I'll be praying that Pence loses the national race, too. Forget Trump; I'm worried about Indiana foisting its state nightmare on the country at large.

"Indiana could have avoided HIV outbreak," but Mike Pence was busy being all fundamentalist and shiz.

Two must reads: The myth of religious violence, and why there’s no such thing as Islamic State.

It's impossible to reduce this "long read" of Karen Armstrong's into a single convenient pull, but I'll take a stab at it.

The myth of religious violence (Guardian)

... After a bumpy beginning, secularism has undoubtedly been valuable to the west, but we would be wrong to regard it as a universal law. It emerged as a particular and unique feature of the historical process in Europe; it was an evolutionary adaptation to a very specific set of circumstances. In a different environment, modernity may well take other forms.

Another commentary in the Guardian approaches the issue from the standpoint of language:

Why there’s no such thing as Islamic State: From Isis to Aum Shinrikyo, the way language works can distort reality. We must be vigilant in reading between the lines, by David Shariatmadari

 ... Linguists have argued for decades about the strength of this effect: the consensus is that language guides, rather than determines, thought. It can set up habits, no more. But habits can be tenacious.

Politicians have long known this. Advertisers know it. And so do terrorists. And with the evolution of Islamic State (Isis) we have a neat case study in the power of proper nouns.

A brief note on the jarring persistence of fundamentalist douchebaggery in L'America.

In this case, at the monolithic edifice known as Southeast Christian.

Oy.

“We want everyone, including ourselves, to live by biblical standards,” (Mullah) Hester said.

Great.

Suit yourself.

Just leave me out of it, okay?

Franklin Graham foams at the mouth. Rabid theology the presumed cause.

We've already glanced at a localized context of evangelistic outrage at this year's election results. Rather like Multichins McConnell's vow to devote all his energies to making Barack Obama a one-term president (epic fail), and resembling those super patriots now vowing to detach themselves from the object of their congenital chest-thumping, now the preachers all are going to be praying not for "god's" supposed bounty, but for mass destruction.

However, as is customary in cases of divine appeal, these catastrophic yearnings are redundant. Unaddressed climate change should do the trick quite nicely, and it's a man-made phenomenon.

Franklin Graham: God May Have to Cause "A Complete Economic Collapse" to Save Nation From Obama, by David Corn (Mother Jones)

... As Graham denounced the Obama years, Newsmax's Kathleen Walter asked, "So we've become too secular a nation? How do we bring God back into government?" Graham replied:

Maybe God will have to bring our nation down to our knees—to where you just have a complete economic collapse. And maybe at that point, maybe people will again begin to call upon the name of almighty God.

Economic calamity was the one option Graham mentioned—as if only such a disaster could move the United States in the right direction.

Albert Mohler's transparent theocratic leanings, and why he should stay off all our porches.

Election results have Albert Mohler quite concerned.

We are rightly and deeply concerned. We must pray that God will change President Obama’s heart on a host of issues, ranging from the sanctity of unborn life to the integrity of marriage. We must push back against his contraception mandate that tramples upon religious liberty. Given the trajectory of his first term in office, we are urgently concerned about a second term, knowing that the President will never again face the electorate.

Because Mohler is president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, we're unfortunately compelled to be smitten by his voluminous wind far more often than those residing in civilized portions of the country. However, he still is considered a quoteworthy ayatollah of sorts among the nation's evangelicals in need of "leadership", sacred or profane. Not coincidentally, some of you will recall the time in December, 2006, when Mohler was engaged as the keynote speaker at a breakfast session of the organization ironically known as Leadership Southern Indiana, and I observed the rampant incongruities therein.

Will gays, Catholics, the childless, Muslims and artists if all marred stripes actually be allowed to attend this questionable exercise in the enhancement of their "quality of life" by means of the theocratic version of “leadership?”

Just curious.

From that moment forward, LSI's relevance has disappeared from view faster than a midwinter's smudgy sun, but this isn't my point today. On Wednesday, Mohler's "holy father, now what?" web column contained these actionable thoughts:

Clearly, we face a new moral landscape in America, and huge challenge to those of us who care passionately about these issues. We face a worldview challenge that is far greater than any political challenge, as we must learn how to winsomely convince Americans to share our moral convictions about marriage, sex, the sanctity of life, and a range of moral issues. This will not be easy. It is, however, an urgent call to action ...

 ... Christians must never see political action as an end, but only as a means. We can never seek salvation through the voting booth, and we must never look for a political messiah. Nevertheless, Christians do bear a political responsibility, established in love of God and love of neighbor. We are rightly concerned about this world, but only to a limited extent. Our main concern is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Which is it to be? Is the "call to action" political, or not? If this moral action bears fruit at the voting booth, how is it not political? And if it is inescapably political (surely it is, or Mohler would not be expending this many words to obfuscate the issue), then how is this NOT advocacy of a theocracy, defined as:

A form of government in which God is the Civil Ruler and the official policy is governed by immediate divine guidance or by officials who are regarded as divinely guided, or is pursuant to the doctrine of a particular religion or religious group.

I certainly hope Mohler's various organizations are on the tax rolls.

REWIND: Some ROCK ‘n’ role playing.

Yesterday I chanced upon a Facebook blurb in which a fundamentalist Christian political candidate was prattling on about ancient and noble superstitions being trampled underfoot by vicious secular humanists, and it occurred to me that it's been a while since Reclaim Our Culture Kentuckiana unleashed one of the organization's patented photo-ops, or for that matter, offered a turgid billboard erection. In anticipation of the next one, which surely can be expected to coincide with the fall election campaign, let's adhere to the dictum that the best defense is a good offense, and look back at a column first published in the newspaper on January 22, 2009.

---

ROCK ‘n’ role playing.

When confused and uncertain, we often recoil from the challenges of the future, reverting instead to comforting visions of one or the other redemptive halcyons from a past viewed with rose-tinted hindsight. Very little of it stands up to scrutiny, but no matter. Cultural mythology is aimed at supplanting rational thought, not buttressing it.

Citizens like you are standing up all across the country---standing up to reclaim our culture, a culture that was founded on the principles that are today being threatened at every turn.
-- Reclaim Our Culture Kentuckiana (ROCK)

ROCK is back in the news with another orchestrated anti-pornography public relations campaign. It has erected a billboard, convened a press conference and hinted that the “end times” are finally near for Clarksville’s Theatair X.

But just as Fidel Castro’s stubbornly unmovable Cuba has thwarted generations of American politicians, so has Theatair X frustrated the efforts of local do-gooders. Wile E. Coyote’s success rate versus the Roadrunner is considerably better than the “winning” percentage amassed by Theatair X’s many detractors over the decades.

However, ROCK now says it has incriminating goods, and it demands that Clarksville’s town fathers take action against a business so eternally impervious to the vicissitudes of an ever-changing marketplace that if it were a “family” owned fruit and veggie stand, it probably would be receiving a lifetime achievement award from One Southern Indiana, and maybe a seat on its board.

Let’s leave the bananas and cucumbers out of it, pour a refreshing locally brewed ale, and return to the question I’ve asked of ROCK and the like-minded numerous times:

Exactly which culture are you so intent on reclaiming?

---

I’m so old that I can remember Citizens for Decency through Law, which as acronyms go comes out CDL – and a commercial driver’s license is hardly as rhythmic as ROCK, is it?

CDL was founded in Cincinnati in 1958 by Charles Keating, who later became famous (and eventually incarcerated!) for corruption during the savings and loan scandals that erupted during the presidency of Bush the Elder. Our local chapter of CDL declared holy war against Theatair X when disco was ascendant, Chevettes patrolled the highways and Jimmy Carter donned his energy crisis sweater.

Earnest prayer and righteous protest ensued, until eventually the smut peddlers became so terrified of CDL that they demolished the drive-in movie screen – to make room for a new building and a contemporary business model, which has thrived ever since.

In 1978, as part of my senior civics group project, a representative of CDL was booked to speak to us about pornography’s threat. We also scheduled an employee of Theatair X to appear separately and provide what we imagined as instructive counterpoints about rights, freedoms and frequent flyer discounts, but he abruptly cancelled at the last minute.

In a shocking turn, only a few months later the very same no-show was shot and killed while mowing his yard. I didn’t know him, but my personal aversion to cutting grass dates to that sad day.

In 2009, ROCK is a state of the art, social-networking and niche-marketing phenomenon, utilizing sophisticated communication technologies rather than CDL’s splotchy mimeographs and rotary dialing lists. ROCK capably harnesses the affluence and ideology of the vast and expanding Southern Indiana exurb, home of the mega-church and big-box theories of shopping, salvation and life itself, as well as tapping into the same “wealth creationism” espoused by One Southern Indiana, which continues to exploit a linkage, however surreptitiously, with theocratic tendencies.

However, we’ve all been here before. ROCK plays a familiar role in a long-running medicine show as civilization’s oldest professions, sex and religion, grapple for turf as millennia race past in the blink of a heathen’s jaundiced eye.

----

The question again:

Exactly which culture is ROCK so intent on reclaiming?

Is it the one with barefoot and pregnant women denied the right to vote? Does it have something to do with the enduring traditions of vice, gambling and prostitution in river towns like Jeffersonville and Clarksville, communities that profited from the calculated civic-mindedness of bookies and pimps just as surely as Louisville prospered from the coerced labor of African-American slaves?

Am I forgetting all the other aspects of presumably “golden” cultures of the past, when sewage flowed unnoticed through the streets, all of medicine was faith-based quackery, the Inquisition made Gitmo look like a Cancun resort hotel, and witches were regularly burned to keep parishioners toasty and warm in their pews?

In the past, organized Christianity aligned itself with each and every one of the preceding and lamentable abuses, which is to say that an often unquestioned local authority figure standing unchallenged at a pulpit taught supernaturally sanctioned gibberish to the fearful and reticent, with catastrophic results for those on the wrong side of faith.

ROCK unabashedly aligns itself with a particular religious worldview, simplistically offering “reclamation” of culture as its goal, but is a workable definition even possible under the circumstances of preconceived religious affiliation?

Perhaps there exists a remote possibility that “reclaimable” culture can be explored coherently, although only within the checks and balances of a truly pluralistic society, with shared respect for a multiplicity of viewpoints and a commitment to impartiality in the pursuit of truth.

Given the historical record of Christianity, I’m skeptical.

----

One of our civics set pieces was a feature from a “Hustler” magazine, which was one of Keating’s prime targets back in the day. It’s none of your business how we obtained it. The pages we clipped showed gruesome photos of disfigured and mutilated corpses. The title?

“War – The Ultimate Obscenity.”

Three decades later, that’s about all I recall from the class, meaning that contrary to popular opinion, I actually did learn something in high school.