Did you do this, doofus? Surrender your commercial driving license immediately.

Prior to Monday, I'd have found it hard to believe that a truck could come this close to felling the huge concrete building guard in the alley by Pints&union. It appears that American dipshit slapdash ingenuity has triumphed, because someone found a way.

In the process, more than a few gallons of oily liquid were spilled all over the alley, to be tracked up and down the sidewalk and into our building. We notified 3rd district councilman Phipps, who passed the information to the street department, and we'll see. The concrete is compromised and will have to be repaired, having done its duty admirably.

My guess? The company that services our used kitchen oil collector. Their phone number is right there on the collection vessel in the alley -- just in case the police launch an investigation.

Is there anything He can't do? Deaf Gahan patents new concrete mix for municipal use.

You may recall "Rearden Metal" from Ayn Rand's well-nigh unreadable novel Atlas Shrugged.

In Philadelphia, Hank Rearden, a self-made steel magnate, has developed an alloy called Rearden Metal, which is simultaneously lighter and stronger than conventional steel.

Rand's bizarre take on eroticism finds Rearden's lover Dagny Taggart getting an orgasmic charge from a bracelet made with Rearden Metal.

Meanwhile back here in Nawbany, Gahan Concrete is a mixture of aggregates and paste. The aggregates are sand, gravel and crushed stone; the paste is Kool Aid and portland cement -- with a pinch of loaded Rice Krispies Treats.

By the way, there is a real-life Reardon company (with a "o", not an "e").

I wonder if they make bracelets?

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Democratic mayoral candidate David White understands that change begins with a whole lotta scrubbing, and NA Confidential advocates just such a deep civic cleansing. 

After eight years on the job, Mayor Jeff Gahan's list of stunning "achievements" is long, indeed: tax increases, budgetary hide 'n' seek, self-deification, daily hypocrisy, public housing takeover, non-transparency, pay-to-play for no-bid contracts, bullying city residents and bullying city employees. Eight years is enough. It's time to drain Gahan's swamp, flush his ruling clique and take this city back from Gahan's Indy-based special interest donors. 

NA Confidential supports David White for Mayor in the Democratic Party primary, with voting now through May 7. 

Stop the presses: Exciting new plan for Trickle Platz at River View.

(Okay, it's really a model of Alexanderplatz in the former East Berlin, but if not for the functional rail service giving away the joke, you'd have bitten. Thanks to JG for the idea)