Big box dry humping in Sellersburg: In TIF poker, does a major unnamed retailer trump a minor named retailer?

Geez, this one's so breathless I could have sworn it was a banner at Insider Louisville.

It appears these professional, rotating development "pros" all learn to speak a variant of nonsense language: It's the best thing since sliced bread, but we can't talk about it too loudly ... and boy, you'll want to erect a plaque to us when it's finished, but seriously, let's not get our hopes up and all -- and meanwhile you know I like my fluffing slow and easy. 

Big Sales Pitch: Sellersburg hopes to attract major unnamed retailer, by Gary Popp (Alabama Business Fluffer)

SELLERSBURG — Sellersburg officials are working to bring a big-box store to the town, but they aren’t disclosing the name of the retailer as of yet.

Still in the early phases of attracting the business, the Sellersburg Redevelopment Commission met Wednesday to assess their next steps in getting the unnamed business to establish itself in the town’s tax increment financing district.

Mike Hostetler, the redevelopment commission’s president, said the project will be the largest commercial boost in Sellersburg’s history if it comes to fruition.

“There is nothing that can compare to this,” he said.

Hostetler said negations are ongoing with the retailer, and that is better for the community to not be privy to the identity of the business, until plans have further progressed.

“The negotiations are not completed yet, so [there] would be no purpose in giving somebody a name, and then it may not happen,” he said.

The initial public reaction is predictable: WE NEED THIS NEW PLACE TO SHOP DAMN IT BUT FIRST BUILD US MORE ROADS DAMN IT.

Then there's this.

It's a WalMart proposed for the west end in Louisville, and provides insight into pesky little things like principles, these being mere disposable flotsam for the gibberish-speaking economic dishevelment "pros." NPP provided these thoughts prior to last week's hearing.

Neighborhood Planning & Preservation (NPP) Kentuckiana

WALMART (Proposed for 18th & Broadway) CASE HEARD TODAY

NPP REQUESTS PLANNING COMMISSION DEFER DECISION on
CASE "14DEVPLAN1036and1400STREETS1004"

 ... NPP continues to be concerned about the lack of public input on this project thus far. Though we feel a Walmart does not represent the best use for this space, we have supported neighborhood efforts for an urban design--which could meet a broader range of needs in a community that has been neglected and undermined by needless destruction and sub-par development. Walmart has responded with urban designs in other markets (e.g. Washington D.C. and Chicago). Why not Louisville? There are many legitimate concerns about imposing a suburban design in an urban setting. Yet, there were no opportunities to discuss the ramifications on public safety and access among the public. Since taxpayers have footed the hefty bill for most of what has transpired at 18th and Broadway, decisions made behind closed doors suggests a willfully exclusionary process that was not in the public's best interest. The lack of accountability here is troubling.

That being said, we urge the committee to heed the staff report and not claims of economic benefits of said project. The short and long term benefits are debatable and should be addressed in a public forum---not solely among parties having a vested interest in this development. We would also ask the Commission to defer this case and instruct the developer to return with a new plan consistent with the neighborhood guidelines.

The purpose of the land use codes and staff evaluations is to protect communities from the profit agenda of a few, who may find it more convenient to ignore the community's heritage or concerns. We urge the Commission insist our guidelines be followed. Please compel the interested parties to return with plans complying with the standards before moving forward. There is still time to demonstrate a respect for our community that has been lacking to date. In doing so, we believe a win-win is possible for all concerned.

Perhaps miraculously ...

Zoning board delays West End Walmart, by Sheldon Shafer (C-J)

Metro planners delayed acting Thursday on a controversial plan for a Walmart superstore at Broadway and Dixie Highway and strongly implied they want the chain to redesign the site to put the store closer to Broadway and to reduce the amount of parking.

Kevin Thompson, an Indianapolis-based public affairs director for Walmart, said Walmart will consider a redesign. But Walmart officials asked the Metro Planning Commission to vote on the plan that had been submitted and said alternative designs had been thoroughly "vetted" and rejected —mainly because other layouts would be less efficient for operations and would likely reduce profits.

And we all know how important those profits are to the lives of ordinary Americans -- including those clamoring for more roads to reach WalMart.

The Walton Family: America’s New Robber Barons

Walmart’s ruling family, the Waltons, has more wealth than 42% of American families combined.

3. There'll be a talk about historic houses as we celebrate IL's Paradise by the Ongoing Blight.

Never before has a week so utterly filled with doltery and drollery culminated with such an inexplicable travesty as the LBJ-era free-lancer Kaufman's bizarre fluff piece about New Albany at Insider Louisville. One is left with the impression that Kaufman interviewed the city's economic director either by phone, or at a waterside villa near George Clooney's pad on Lake Como.

It was suggested to me that I regard it as slyly facetious, or even overtly satirical. Admittedly, given IL's use of the word "paradise" twice in the e-mail, this seems possible. But I doubt whether IL is that clever, so I asked around and got this from someone I trust:

Kaufman is struggling to keep up with Insider Louisville, and IL has lost its identity as it tries to go big time. Plus, they really try and hide the fact it's a glorified blog; no feet on the ground, just freelancers desperate for a C-note, who won't challenge a soul.

Ouch (insert local media crack here). Dear, dear; where do we look for truth, justice and the American way of life-long tone deafness?

1. There'll be a talk about historic houses amid the felled timber.

2. There'll be a talk about historic houses as we count the felled tree's rings to see how long it's been since Elvis mattered.

Insider Louisville writer praises "quality of life" in New Albany. Somewhere, a dictionary dies an agonizing death.

In all seriousness, do we laugh or cry?

Some sweet day, there'll be journalists who actually journalist. Until then, I suppose quarter-truths will have to do. Insinuating "paradise" amid New Albany's stultified, poisonous, unredeemable political culture is tantamount to libel, slander and beating oneself with rusty chains, but who do we sue, Kaufman or ourselves?

All these nice things from Louisville courageously transplanting to squalid NA ... oh yeah, and then maybe one or two local businesses over in Kaempfertown had a minor impact, which pales in comparison to the heroism and vision and sheer animal attraction of people in government who just finished presiding over the farmers market fiasco. By the way, when do I get paid?

Right on, Steve. How amazingly observant. Did you ever actually set foot here?

One pull from this mess is sufficient. Did we pay this guy another $108K to say these things with a straight face, or did he do it as a lark?

I'm going for a walk, and then off to work.

Where it’s at: Downtown New Albany’s quality of life, by Steve Kaufman (Insider Louisville)

In other words, New Albany is serious about creating the kind of vibrant city center that began to disappear when cars, suburbs and shopping malls overtook the cultural landscape.

And do you know many other cities that have a six-figure budget set-aside for Quality of Life?

It’s hard to know just how or why this small town of less than 40,000 people has turned itself into a trendy, happening place from what it had been a decade ago: a town, like so many American towns, that had seen some of its important manufacturing industries (like shipbuilding, plate glass and the production of plywood and veneer) close up, move or diminish.

The competitive advantage of localism.

"As seen on TV"

Just yesterday I was contemplating the yearly cost of a 1950s-era sidewalk spread out over six decades.

ON THE AVENUES: You actually can get something for nothing.

The point I’m making is that from an economic development standpoint, the city of New Albany has leveraged its blessed downtown indie “renaissance” on virtually nothing, compared with what it routinely spends on industrial park space and chain retail enfluffment.

Okay, true; "enfluffment" isn't a real word. It sounds good, though. What's it like, anyway?

Opinion: The competitive advantage of local, by Michael H. Shuman (The Vancouver Sun)

 ... Despite endless hype about the wonders of the global economy, non-local businesses in North America have not increased their relative presence or power.

The performance by local businesses is remarkable, given that public officials and economic developers essentially tried to kill them. The vast majority of economic-development spending in North America, for example, is to “attract and retain” global companies. The impact of these subsidies, if not the intent, is to make small business less competitive.

Even if foolish public policies remain in place, there are deeper trends in the global economy that actually are increasing the competitiveness of small, local business.