Traffic Cluster, Part Two: We'll never resolve traffic issues until "leadership" is willing to lead, not pander.

It occurred to me last night that as the coronavirus pushes unprecedented bicycle sales, here and across the country, Jeff Speck gave us a diagram for downtown streets purposefully rebuilt to accommodate modernity in the form of bikes and biking.

Our mayor threw it out the window.

Had he paid attention and been progressive, we now would have the ideal grid for a pandemic, the sort of step even Jeffersonville hasn't managed.

Instead, we have more of what we plainly specialize in as a municipality: congenital underachievement, plain and simple.

It boils down to this.

According to Team Gahan, all traffic issues have been magically resolved by pure genius since the prime cuts of the Speck grid study were rendered into oatmeal-flecked, fat-encrusted sausage to suit the needs of pay-to-play campaign finance.

According to genuine reality, most such issues remain, because our emperors routinely fail to wear clothes, and partisan politics infects everything, leading otherwise thoughtful people like my district councilman Greg Phipps to cautiously treat symptoms with band-aids, leaving major violators like the thoroughly non-calmed Spring Street three-mile long interstate ramp untouched by critical scrutiny.

Yes, Greg you're absolutely right; four-way stops are needed in the neighborhoods. Drivers occasionally run a four-way at full speed, but usually they at least slow before doing so, whereas stop light signals impel drivers to increase their speed as they approach the intersection.

But unless some of them are placed on Spring Street itself, or something else done to slow ever-escalating speeds (which police bizarrely deny even occur), heavy trucks will continue to travel in excess of 40 mph THROUGH A NEIGHBORHOOD WITH MORE CHILDREN LIVING THERE THAN AT ANY TIME IN PHIPPS' RESIDENCY AND MY OWN.

Phipps need only glance outside his window at the tonnage streaking past and feel the vibrations, but he won't, because City Hall is in denial, and City Hall lickspittles are not allowed to ask questions pertaining to demonstrable reality. Big Daddy must be obeyed, and Spring must remain an artery for dipshit drivers.

Because, I suppose, that's who we are as a city: enablers for misbehavior.

We can change this for the better. All we need is a willingness to act. Why must it be this hard to convince them to attack problems that can be seen plainly with their own eyes?

Perhaps it's because they refuse to look.

New Albany council discusses traffic problems, by Daniel Suddeath (Returning Journalist Laps Papa)

NEW ALBANY — The most prominent concern for residents is traffic, and it’s time to ramp up efforts to ease those worries, New Albany City Councilman Scott Blair said during what may be the last virtual gathering of the body.

Traffic was the primary issue discussed during Thursday’s council meeting, with members expressing different ideas for how to address what they said is a city-wide problem.

Everlasting municipal dysfunction, bowel movements and political cowardice.

On Sunday, I did not rest. I ranted. It didn't make me feel better. It made me feel worse.

Ranting on John Rosenbarger's fundamental contradictions in the aftermath of an atrocious day in the neighborhood.

... Conversely, while many of the complete street platitudes uttered yesterday make me feel good, the reality that there is no discernible will on anyone's part to implement them induces a very bad feeling. If you really believe the city will wither and die unless something is done, as Rosenbarger actually said aloud -- for heaven's sake, John (and your political bosses over uncounted generations) -- doesn't it mean you're ready to dispense with the idiotic charade and actually DO SOMETHING to change it?

My blogging co-conspirator weighed in at FB, and perfectly encapsulated my feelings.

Jeff Gillenwater: Whenever someone like Rosenbarger claims, as they often do, that New Albany and surrounding areas are just too scared and stupid to take very obvious steps toward improvement, that there's little to no hope, no valid reason to invest any more of one's mind or money here thinking it will get better any time soon, I believe them a little more each time -- as I've learned over the past few years just how dedicated they are to proving it. 

Others believe them, too, and smart, engaged people - many with both the talent and intent to contribute in important ways - end up leaving as it quickly becomes the only reasonable thing to do in response. As it turns out, most people with choices don't actually want to sacrifice their intelligence, their passion, and their overall better selves to a bunch of sadly dysfunctional twits and their senseless, self-imposed limitations. 

Along those lines, a note to political wannabes in New Albany, incumbent and otherwise, starting with the Democratic Party Chair and trickling down just like their 30-year-old, failed economic plan: If your stump speech does not include a rather strident section about the need to and your willingness to immediately and completely revamp the city's planning and development/redevelopment departments from scratch, don't bother calling me, emailing me, sending me paper mail, or attempting to schmooze me at events and, for decency's sake, stay the hell off my porch.

Roger A. Baylor: Obviously, when it comes to everyday business, I can't throw in the towel, and I won't, because I tend to be an ornery and stubborn SOB. But as of yesterday, self-interest increasingly will define what I do. These regressives just aren't worth my time and effort.

JG: New Albany needs your business a lot more than your business needs New Albany. The same is true for others. I sincerely think that should be much more fully explored en masse. I dislike the subsidy/quid pro quo game but, if that's going to be the primary deal for the foreseeable future - if city officials are going to stand by and not only tell people that what they're doing is impossible while they're doing it but also actively work to prove and reinforce impossibility as some sort of self-immolation - then hand them fuel and a match and keep your distance. 

There are any number of towns or neighborhoods in the metro that would be happy to have those business and personal investments and would likely do more to acknowledge the respective contributions with contributions of their own. The desire to feed people is noble. Allowing one's self to be starved in the process so that others can advance their pitiful, "public" careers isn't. This City that so regularly and so openly disrespects the many people and ideas doing the work on the ground every day makes people mean, distrustful, and resentful but those feelings, too, as legitimate as they are in context, can be much better directed.

RAB: Adam Dickey might be interested in this thread, although last time I wrote him back, the conversation ended rather abruptly ... which probably owes to the fact that in this town, talking a good game is all there really is. If accomplishment genuinely mattered ...

I'll stop there. How does one end a post like this?

By scoffing at the usual suspects for the umpteenth time? By beating up on myself for every believing any of their perennial bullshit? By thinking that maybe, some day, a genuine reformer will claw his or her way through the unbearably anti-progressive local political party structures, when the likelihood of it happening is roughly equal to my cat setting up a soapbox in Rent Boy Park and reciting Aristotle in letter-perfect ancient Greek?

I'm not sure why Saturday's vacuous folderol should be any more annoying than the palpable nonsense I've heard repeated for ten uninterrupted years, but it was, and the same old song and dance has become colossally tiresome. It's way past time that they came running to us, rather than the other way around. I'd consider an Occupy The City County Building movement if I wasn't afraid the doltishly endless cowardice would rub off on me.

How about a bowel movement instead?

Now, that's more like it.

The uncouncilman's career ends tonight ...

... along with the council stints of fellow seat holders Jack Messer, who did not seek re-election, and Jeff Gahan, who is about to become mayor. Steve Price will now become an ex-councilman -- perhaps the highest accolade he has earned in a political career of unparalleled underachievement.

Tonight's meeting is previewed here; beware the newspaper's incessant and obsolete pop-up generator.

Neglected homework the hallmark of council underachievement?

Matt's right, and yet for those accepting the psychologically taxing burden of attending council meetings, it is painfully clear that obtaining the perpetually absent information is one thing, and knowing what it means once (if) found is something else. Mediocrity begets mediocrity. Just ask Bob Caesar.

NASH: New Albany City Council needs to do its job

It is important that the council members do their job and get the information they need before the start of a city council meeting.

Consistency the chief casualty as Tribune editorial savages council, coddles school corporation.

In today's Tribune editorial, the editorial board offers yet another scathing take on the city council's persistent "penny foolish, pound foolish" approach to its duties.

TRIBUNE EDITORIAL: New Albany Council’s votes are limiting our options.

The editorial makes clearer than ever before the dimensions of the council's emerging anti-modernity bloc. Dan Coffey and Steve Price are givens, but Jeff Gahan and Pat McLaughlin both have consistently joined with the know-nothings in impeding legislative rationality.

CM Gahan opted for scattershot indecipherability a long time ago, and lacking any coherent, stated notion of where he's coming from and why, we can only surmise that agreeing with Coffey this often constitutes a full-scale descent into the depths of the Dark Side, where CM McLaughlin -- whose picture currently adorns the Webster's Dictionary entry for "disappointment" -- also seems to have taken up residence.

But of more immediate significance is this section, wherein the editorial board commends school administrators:

New Albany-Floyd County Consolidated School Corp. Superintendent Bruce Hibbard, and his administrative team, recently announced recommendations to close four elementary schools and make other cuts that will impact and anger many. Right or wrong, these were not popular decisions, but they were necessary. School administrators didn’t sit around and blame each other for the $6.6 million deficit that was thrown in their lap. They made, what they believed, were the necessary cuts.

There it is, and you can take it to the bank, folks: The Tribune will be punting when it comes to the impending school closings.

What's this analogy intended to convey, Coach K? That it's bad to dither, and therefore, it's far better that potentially catastrophic long-term decisions are reached quickly and confidently, even if they're tragically mistaken?

A fairly bad analogy, guys. While we're on the subject of sidesteps, has any editorial board discussion of the bridges project yet been undertaken?

Open thread: Is this the worst city council imaginable?

There was a city council meeting last night, and there might as well have been a circle jerk for all the good it did for the city. Afterwards, everyone retreated to Studio’s and looked into their own personal mirrors, the ones that show the distorted reflections of wannabeens as serial in their abdication of responsibility as Larry Kochert ever was.

It’s a shame. Anyone got a novelty lighter to play with while the city rots?

I was present for eleven minutes of it before being ejected, and just as a courtesy, permit me now to inform readers that they shouldn’t hold their breaths waiting for me to apologize for telling the truth about a congenital liar, however infirm, aged and embittered she may be.

Won’t happen, folks.

But in the time afforded by my departure, and a few subsequent pints, the thought that kept returning was this council’s abject failure to achieve anything substantive.

Anything.

The excuse that is offered time and again is that times are hard, and wow, who had any idea how tough it was going to be, and damn, we have it rough! The state won’t help, and it’s someone else’s fault, and we can’t be bothered to read or to learn or to offer something – anything – that might represent a glimmer of creativity in a time of duress.

In short, we don’t know anything, we won’t learn anything, and we’d like for those of you less worldly than we are to return us to office next time, because we promise not to have a clue then, either, and we can go our merry ways.

Really? That’s inspiring, isn’t it?

Am I reading them incorrectly? Let me know, and I promise not to call you a liar. Unless, of course, you are.

Double-nought spies and flagrant underachievement – where else but Screechville?

Safe in the knowledge that my blogging colleague Bluegill is heating his house with steam as he peruses Ed Glasscock’s and Kerry Stemler’s pro-downtown bridge palaver in the morning’s C-J, I turn instead to Professor Erika, who actually manages to publish something remotely in the public interest:

AN INTERVIEW WITH COUNCILMAN STEVE PRICE - 3RD DISTRICT

Price even refers to himself as Jethro, which means that while he’s cognizant of the existence of criticism, he hasn’t yet comprehended the gist of it.

Otherwise, it’s more of the same: Municipal life is hopeless, we just can’t, we shouldn’t try, let’s hunker down, nothing can be done, woe to those who think it can … and Price continues to devote his council career to denying the city the tools necessary to improve, and then thinks we should praise him for predicting the inevitable failure.

Well, Nostradamus he ain't, and at least Jethro Bodine had vision. He persisted in thinking that he could. Price knows he can’t, and while that’s acceptable for an individual, and perhaps even charming in a Southern Gothic decay sort of way, it isn’t a very good prescription for a whole city.

Non-comprehension as (a) political platform, (b) city motto, (c) mantra ray?

re·dun·dan·cy
Pronunciation: \ri-ˈdən-dən(t)-sē\
Function: noun
plural re·dun·dan·cies
Date: circa 1602

1 a: the quality or state of being redundant : superfluity b: the use of redundant components; also : such components chiefly British : dismissal from a job especially by layoff

2: profusion, abundance

3 a: superfluous repetition : prolixity b: an act or instance of needless repetition

4: the part of a message that can be eliminated without loss of essential information

----

Thanks to Merriam-Webster, and apologies for not seeing the Tribune reporter in the room for the rental inspection and code enforcement committee meeting on Wednesday night.

Committee may suggest rental registration in New Albany, by Daniel Suddeath.

In the article, committee member Steve Price is quoted as saying, “I don’t understand why you want to put another fee on taxpayers.”

Yep -- that’s the redundancy.

The utterance might have plausibly stopped with “I don’t understand” (does he ever so much as try?) and retained its full, rich meaning. Everything else after that is non-essential information. On the other hand, absent non-essential information, Price would possess none whatsoever. His career in politics is a paean to empty calories -- performed tunelessly, repetively and with quite the unceasing air of redundancy.

Come to think of it, we’ll be able to make Price redundant in 2011 in the British sense of usage, assuming citizens residing within the 3rd council district keep their heads and run one quality primary candidate against Jethro and not two, as has been the case the previous two election cycles. Let's hope we get it right this time.

Be careful with those inconvenient facts, Bluegill.

You might wake him.

(Photo credit: The senior editor, January 17, 2008)