Taxpayers foot the bill as this Gahan for State Senate video features the mayor talking about his lofty Summit Springs achievements.

Gahan's cult of personality is taking on hitherto elusive grandiosity as political decision time draws near.

He's giving us a shining city on a hill -- well, a summit at least -- and preparing a successor if the occasion arises.

Is it Beer Thirty yet?

Video Jeff: We hired a study, not an engineer named Speck, 'cuz we want to be, uh, "a great place to be safe" -- and there'll be announcements soon, so WATER PARK.

On Friday, we endured the pure verbal pain of the Genius of the Flood Plain, especially this amazing head-scratcher.

#Gahansafe: In which it is revealed that quality of life is experience of living.

"We started down the road of talking about quality of life, but what we're really talking about, uh, is the quality of ... of ... of the experience of living in New Albany."

Winston Churchill he ain't, but let's look a bit more closely at Jeff Gahan's street grid remarks, beginning at the 2:05 mark of his monthly propaganda video: New Albany Now January 2016.

“The residential experience is really important. Those folks that want to live downtown and walk downtown and feel safe, you’ll see us begin to make those changes to make New Albany, again, a great place to be safe and to walk and more pedestrian friendly. You’ll also see, uh, some opportunities for bike, bicycling downtown that you haven’t seen before, so it’ll be more bike lanes. We’ve been talking about a conversion from one way to two-way streets – hired a, a study to kind of give us some recommendations on what we should do with the one way and two way streets. I expect we’ll that have some announcements soon on some changes that we’ll be making on the grid system.”

Is your two-way confidence inspired yet?

Those among us who walk understand that Team Gahan does nothing on a daily basis to indicate any comprehension of urban walkability, although at some point, he'll snap his fingers, pull a few design component s out of context, spend too much on builders so as to guarantee a fresh round of campaign donations, erect a flaccid plaque, slap an anchor seal on it, and declare heroic victory -- whether any of the fundamental conditions necessary for genuine success change, or not.

It's what happens when the imaginary world of Walt Disney collides with our nation's C-minus (or worse) student "leaders."

Speck's plan is entirely doomed, isn't it? Recall that far from providing a few stray recommendations, it offered a comprehensive, inter-connected playbook. What are the odds that Warren Nash hasn't read it all the way through, a full year after publication?

As the late Glenn Frey once noted, you can't hide those lying eyes -- even behind mangled syntax.

#Gahansafe: In which it is revealed that quality of life is experience of living.

"We started down the road of talking about quality of life, but what we're really talking about, uh, is the quality of ... of ... of the experience of living in New Albany." 

Don't look at me. 10% of you elected him, and accordingly, the first New Albany Now agitprop of 2016 views like leftover campaign footage. After all, the same media company produces everything.

The video is 3 minutes, 41 seconds long. The first minute rehashes Jeff Gahan's "parks first, financing later" spiel. The second minute upholds the importance of Break Wind and senior housing at M. Fine, but of course doesn't explain why Flaherty and Collins deserves sewer tap-waivers while Matt Chalfant doesn't.

Then it gets weird. Roughly 45 seconds are devoted to conceding the existence of a street grid study, trumpeting forthcoming changes in favor of biking and "safe" walkability downtown, but characteristically, completely avoiding specifics. One gets the impression that Gahan could provide the exact specifications of that model of artificial turf installed at Silver Street, while at the same time never once explaining (for instance) the meaning of induce demand.

In essence: Trust me; there'll be big announcements soon. 

Here's the problem, Jeff: Until you actually indulge in two-way communications and display even the slightest comprehension of what Jeff Speck (remember that name?) is trying to teach you, there is NO REASON to trust you.

But it's a nice, professional campaign propaganda video. When's the State Senate announcement coming?

New Albany Now: John Rosenbarger meets Leni Riefenstahl, and a situation comedy is born.

The problem, as it has been for 30 years, is that John simply isn't funny.

Bluegill writes:

When Jeff Speck was in New Albany, he spoke directly to the folly of spending millions on one street - citing New Albany's number exactly - when so much more could be done holistically for the grid for less money. His comments, along with many others damning to NA's current projects, elicited knowing chuckles from the crowd. Here, though, city hall manages to make it seem as if the Main Street Mistake, their own multimillion dollar, single street project that contradicts Speck and likely won't slow auto traffic owing to poor design, is an example of his thinking. It features the same J. Rosenbarger who's been preaching that Speck's approach won't work in New Albany. Sometimes the absurdity of it all ...

New Albany NOW profiles Tonya Fischer.

Like I've said previously: She helped bring us the ORBP during her long tenure at One Southern Indiana; now Tonya Fischer is here to help small/large/indie/chain businesses cope with the ramifications. Odd, but the video doesn't mention any of that ... but it does mention the UEA's facade grant program, while showing the house two doors down from mine which is neither a business nor eligible for facade grants.

New Albany First featured in "New Albany NOW" city video.

Of course, the city's "New Albany Now" is supposed to end with an exclamation point, as every other thought or sentence apparently must do these days.

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