FLASHBACK: The ED and the BC chart the arc of the sun as it climbs the New Gahanian sky.

It was March 25, 2016. David Duggins had not yet departed the comfortable confines of HWC Engineering Presents: The New Albany Redevelopment Commission, and David Brewer as remained the city's Building Commissioner. They had a chat about the Anchor King, and the Green Mouse captured it on a hidden microphone.

Here it is.

---

“David, it’s David.”

“Duggins? It’s 4 o’clock in the blessed a.m.”

“Listen, Brewer – just be glad it isn’t the mayor.”

“True that. What’s up?”

“We have a problem. The switch is broken, and Home Depot is closed.”

“What switch? The Random Parks Jobs Generator Switch?”

“No, no. Are you kidding? Parks are the only economic development plan we have. We’re even going to generate a hover board park inside Pillsbury next week. No, I’m talking about the main switch.”

“You mean … ”

“That’s right. The Sunrise Switch.”

“What happened?”

“I dunno; cheap Chinese plastic shit – and to think we paid Jorge Lanz $675.85 for it, THEN he was late with his campaign donation. Anyway, the switch fell apart overnight.”

“What if the mayor wakes up and he can’t flip the Sunrise Switch?”

“Exactly. You know as well as I do. No switch, and the sun won’t come up today.”

“Jesus. It’s like that Hemingway book, ‘The Sun Also Rises.’ ”

“Never heard of it. Reading really sucks. Come to think of it, that’s the only thing Zurschmiede got right the entire campaign – never admit to reading.”

“Oh, I didn’t actually read it. Baylor said something about it on his blog.”

“Really? I’ll let Rogar know. I'm sure she'll have something to say.”

---

“What’s the big deal, anyway? I mean, the switch isn’t actually connected to anything. The sun’s going to come up whether Jeff pushes a button or not.”

“Yeah, but the mayor doesn’t know that. Look, you’re the building commissioner. Can’t you go confiscate a light switch from a derelict property somewhere? We can cut a check; no big deal.”

“That would be stealing from the taxpayers.”

“Well, so is TIF, and I didn’t see you objecting to any of that.”

“Calm down. It’s your fault that Jeff thinks he controls the sunrise.”

“Bullshit. How so?”

“You’re the one who showed him that video about North Korea.”

“Wasn’t me. I have no idea what North Korea is. Now, sweet home Sellersburg’s another story. I know all about that – and One Southern Indiana. They always make me feel dreamy.”

“It definitely was you. The link came from NA Confidential, and you showed Gahan the video and said see, this guy’s got nothing on you. I remember it. You told the mayor that plaques were small potatoes, and from now on it was towering statues only.”

“Whatever. You have to break a few eggs if you want to be deputy mayor.”

“I can’t believe you’re still going on about that. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a dozen times. Mayors don’t give their in-laws cushy jobs just to turn around and appoint you as deputy mayor.”

“Hmm. Maybe I can be the son he never had. You know, I’m only here because I believe in Jeff Gahan.”

“Uh huh. Like you’re the first one to drink the Kool-Aid. But look, what about that other sun, the one that won’t rise and light the sky unless our boss thinks he made it so by throwing a switch? We need to think outside the box.”

“But didn’t we prohibit that? I’ll ask Adam Disney first thing.”

---

“David, I’ve got it.”

“What have you got, David?”

“Call those architects – you know, the ones who wanted to build a strip mall on Community Park a few years back.”

“Dude, that was cheeky. The county should have nailed that. You mean the firm of Same, Old & Suspect?”

“Right, them. Didn’t one of them just design your dog park?”

“Right. Around the office, we call him The Human Shield. He talks and talks about diplomas, and everyone forgets the political part.”

“Okay. So get him over to Gahan’s place, stat. Stick him on one of those Spring Street dump trucks. They drive like demons.”

“It’s why they call them Fast Track. Got it. Architect on dump truck. Then what?”

“When the mayor wakes up, the architect is right there – we’ll need a news crew, too. Anyone on payroll?

“WHAS backed us really nice on the Native American nutjob thing.”

“That works. Have them there, waiting. When Gahan reaches over to turn on the sun, the architect grabs his hand and stops him.”

“Go on.”

“He says, Mr. Mayor, the Baylorites have booby-trapped the sun. If you touch that switch, you’ll see your shadow, and we’ll have six more years of bad baseball teams in Cincinnati.”

“That’s good. He’ll buy that. But what about the sun? If the sun doesn’t rise in New Albany, I may have to go where it’s warm.”

“I’m getting there. So, the architect tells Jeff: Look, no more switches. You can do it with your head, kinda like voodoo. All you have to do is repeat after me: ‘There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.’”

“Sniffle.”

“Omigod! Duggins, are you crying?”

“It’s so beautiful. The mayor swallows the bait, and voy-la, no more Sun Switch. We’ll just throw that saved 700 bucks onto the next paving contract. Just one question.”

“Shoot.”

“Which one of us is the Scarecrow?”

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: David Brewer's post-building commissioner "consultancy" is a leveler even when money isn't a motivator.

The Green Mouse has learned from multiple sources that earlier this year former building commissioner David Brewer (now the township trustee) inked a year-long consultancy contract with Jeff Gahan's ever conniving helpful City Hall for somewhere in the vicinity of $14,000. If this information is true, here's why it matters.

In the aftermath of the 2018 election, NA Confidential asked a question.

Congratulations to David Brewer, hitherto one of the least objectionable and most functional of Team Gahan's appointees. David needs to clarify one point immediately: Does he intend to remain in a salaried position as Building Commissioner and draw the township trustee's pay?

But those local Democrats most inclined to laughingly dismiss the relevance of our concern already have savagely criticized newly elected Republican assessor James Sinks for doing precisely that -- earning full-time pay as both as a teacher and the assessor ... much to the open chagrin of his own political party.

As a point in his favor, Brewer chose not to push this particular envelope. Take it away, Papa.

COLUMN: Former New Albany building commissioner motivated to help others, by Credulous Morris (Tom May Content Propagator)

 ... (David) Brewer said the job of building commissioner was eye-opening in many ways, including seeing so many needs in the community. That is what prompted him to run for New Albany Township Trustee last year. He wanted to do more to help people, to get them back on their feet.

Brewer, who took office on Jan. 1, said he had no intention of being a politician, or running for political office prior to his 2018 run. He was content for nine years being the city’s building commissioner. But something moved him to toss his hat into the ring against a popular incumbent, Republican Steve Burks. Brewer’s first taste of politics was a successful one. He wound up beating Burks by 1,443 votes.

“I never thought I would get into politics. You see things [in politics] that just infuriate you,” Brewer said. “It can be very divisive. But I want to do what I can to help people.”

In light of today's consultancy revelation, it's this part of the story that might be, well, divisive.

Brewer said he will take a pay cut to be township trustee, but money is not what motivates him. Helping those in need is what lights his fire.

According to the state of Indiana's public employee compensation on-line search tool, the New Albany Township trustee's annual salary is $40,000, while the City of New Albany's building commissioner earns $54,000.

A consultancy for $14,000? As they say in the UK about football: "There's the equaliser."

Two birds, one stone; Gahan potentially now has greater (if not completely unfettered) access to the township trustee's bank account, and Brewer doesn't take a pay cut at all. Everyone's happy, except those of us who stubbornly persist in favoring fair play and a level playing field.

Apart from the Green Mouse's perspective, allow me to conclude with a personal point of view: I'd be delighted if this rumor turns out to be false, and I'll happily correct the record if it does. Brewer always has seemed somewhat benign in the larger context of Gahan's systemic corruption; I realize there are others who'd disagree. Maybe I was hoping against all available evidence that there'd be something or someone not tainted by Gahanism's elemental toxicity.

But there's a remedy for enduring disappointment: #FireGahan2019

Jason Applegate files for NA city council at-large. Does this mean fellow Democrat Sam Charbonneau will challenge Scott Blair in the 6th?

Long rumored, now official.

The Facebook post does not reveal whether Applegate is seeking an at-large seat or the 6th district nod, but the Green Mouse has been told it's Applegate at-large and Sam Charbonneau soon to announce in the 6th; they're both Democrats, both closely aligned with Jeff "Dear Leader" Gahan, and both having lost elections in 2018 (Applegate for commissioner against Shawn Carruthers and Charbonneau for Indiana House against Ed Clere).

When there comes time I'll crunch a few precinct numbers, because I'm guessing the prevailing assumption is that Applegate beat Carruthers within city limits, and there seems little reason to doubt this. More interesting to me is how Charbonneau did last year in precincts 27, 41, 42, 43 and 44. If the rumors are true and Charbonneau is running in the 6th, it sets up a very competitive three-way contest with the incumbent Scott Blair (completing his second council term as an independent in the mayor's old seat) and Republican Scott Evans.

Adam Dickey's imagined post-Gahan succession is looking clearer than ever. Just choose between Applegate, Charbonneau and former building commissioner, newly elected township trustee (and forever a local sporting legend) David Brewer. At least they're not tremendously old white males, although it's more of the same for the party of touted diversity that isn't, and it should be recalled that Gahan has a challenger this spring in David White.

The Green Mouse says:

David Duggins might be Gahan’s bag man, but ever since TASER-gate he’s become completely unelectable to any public office with the possible exception of dog catcher – and both SPCA and PETA already have filed preliminary complaints objecting to Duggins being in the vicinity of canines, much less humans. Pending Applegate and Charbonneau bolstering their expanding resumes with election wins, Brewer is the Democratic Party’s future star. Nothing prevents voter thoughtfulness quite like sports, and Brewer just finished bucking the GOP electoral trend with his trustee victory. Has Chris Morris yet figured out that the trustee’s budget henceforth will serve as a handy ATM for a mayor with rapidly diminishing TIF options?

Earlier today:

ON THE AVENUES: Democrats should judge city council incumbents in districts 2, 3, 4 and 5 by their regressive deeds, not their progressive words.

New Albany primary filings: Old white male Democratic council functionaries as yet unchallenged by diversity.

Incumbent Steve Burks seeks re-election as New Albany Township Trustee, with building commissioner David Brewer opposing him.

Steve Burks, a Republican, was elected to the office of New Albany Township Trustee in 2014. Burks is running for re-election this year.

A township trustee is an elected official in the local government of the U.S. state of Indiana. A township trustee administers a township, which in Indiana is the primary political subdivision of a county, and in common with most other state officials serves a term of four years.

Here's the skinny from 2014.

County Councilman Burks wins New Albany trustee’s seat (Theoretically Local Chain Newspaper)

FLOYD COUNTY — Republican Steve Burks will be trading one seat for another after scoring a victory over an incumbent Tuesday night.

Burks received 5,540 votes, or 52.9 percent, while Democrat Jeannie Freiberger received 4,926 votes, or 4,926 votes, in the New Albany Township Trustee race.

Burks is a pastor and also an at-large Floyd County councilman, so he will have to resign his seat

“I do benevolence all the time. That is what I do,” he said of his new post, which is largely tasked with helping the less fortunate. “I will try to be more efficient in that department. I want to give people a hand up instead of a hand out. I want people to be accountable."

Burks' opponent on November 6th is David Brewer, a Democrat and the city's Building Commissioner. Brewer also is locally renowned as an assistant basketball coach at New Albany High School.

Historically, NA Confidential has enjoyed good relations with Brewer, and we believe he does a good job as the building commissioner. It's an appointed position, not an elected one.

Re-reading the newspaper article linked above, I recalled a conversation I once had over coffee with Burks, who said he knew going into the 2014 election cycle that a person can't simultaneously hold two elected offices. If victorious in the trustee's race, he'd be compelled to resign as a county councilman.

Burks also discussed the possibility with his church, which accepted the idea of him being both pastor and trustee, given that trustees have a responsibility to those in need similar to that embraced by the church.

As an aside, here are the yearly rates of pay for the government jobs mentioned in this post.

Floyd County council representative: $10,000
Township trustee: $40,000
Building commissioner: $54,000

There does not appear to be a rule governing the simultaneous occupancy of an elected and an appointed office.

Currently the New Albany Township Trustee's office is located at the City-County Building on Hauss Square, which also is the headquarters of the Building Commission. It seems likely that if Burks is re-elected, he'll remain at his current office. If Brewer is the winner, is not known whether he's remain on duty as building commissioner, or move the office to the new City Hall being remodeled on Main Street.

The election is on November 6, and early voting at the county clerk's office begins on October 10.

The ED and the BC chart the arc of the sun as it climbs the New Gahanian sky.

“David, it’s David.”

“Duggins? It’s 4 o’clock in the blessed a.m.”

“Listen, Brewer – just be glad it isn’t the mayor.”

“True that. What’s up?”

“We have a problem. The switch is broken, and Home Depot is closed.”

“What switch? The Random Parks Jobs Generator Switch?”

“No, no. Are you kidding? Parks are the only economic development plan we have. We’re even going to generate a hover board park inside Pillsbury next week. No, I’m talking about the main switch.”

“You mean … ”

“That’s right. The Sunrise Switch.”

“What happened?”

“I dunno; cheap Chinese plastic shit – and to think we paid Coffey $675.85 for it at the auction house, THEN the son-of-a-bitch wigged out and flipped teams, the bastard. Anyway, the switch fell apart overnight.”

“What if the mayor wakes up and he can’t flip the Sunrise Switch?”

“Exactly. You know as well as I do. No switch, and the sun won’t come up today.”

“Jesus. It’s like that Hemingway book, ‘The Sun Also Rises.’”

“Never heard of it. Reading really sucks. Come to think of it, that’s the only thing Zurschmiede got right the entire campaign – never admit to reading.”

“Oh, I didn’t actually read it. Baylor said something about it on his blog.”

“Really? I’ll let Rogar know. I'm sure she'll have something to say.”

---

“What’s the big deal, anyway? I mean, the switch isn’t actually connected to anything. The sun’s going to come up whether Jeff pushes a button or not.”

“Yeah, but the mayor doesn’t know that. Look, you’re the building commissioner. Can’t you go confiscate a light switch from a derelict property somewhere? We can cut a check; no big deal.”

“That would be stealing from the taxpayers.”

“Well, so is TIF, and I didn’t see you objecting to any of that.”

“Calm down. It’s your fault that Jeff thinks he controls the sunrise.”

“Bullshit. How so?”

“You’re the one who showed him that video about North Korea.”

“Wasn’t me. I have no idea what North Korea is. Now, sweet home Sellersburg’s another story. I know all about that – and One Southern Indiana. They always make me feel dreamy.”

“It definitely was you. The link came from NA Confidential, and you showed Gahan the video and said see, this guy’s got nothing on you. I remember it. You told the mayor that plaques were small potatoes, and from now on it was statues only.”

“Whatever. You have to break a few eggs if you want to be deputy mayor.”

“I can’t believe you’re still going on about that. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a dozen times. Mayors don’t give their sons-in-law cushy jobs just to turn around appoint you deputy mayor.”

“Hmm. Maybe I can be the son he never had. You know, I’m only here because I believe in Jeff Gahan.”

“Uh huh. Like you’re the first one to drink the Kool-Aid. But look, what about that other sun, the one that won’t rise and light the sky unless our boss thinks he made it so by throwing a switch? We need to think outside the box.”

“But didn’t we prohibit that? I’ll ask Adam Disney first thing.”

---

“David, I’ve got it.”

“What have you got, David?”

“Call those architects – you know, the ones who wanted to build a strip mall on Community Park a few years back.”

“Dude, that was cheeky. The county should have nailed that. You mean the firm of Same, Old & Suspect?”

“Right, them. Didn’t one of them just design your dog park?”

“Right. Around the office, we call him The Human Shield. He talks and talks about diplomas, and everyone forgets the political part.”

“Okay. So get him over to Gahan’s place, stat. Stick him on one of those Spring Street dump trucks. They drive like demons.”

“It’s why they call them Fast Track. Got it. Architect on dump truck. Then what?”

“When the mayor wakes up, the architect is right there – we’ll need a news crew, too. Anyone on payroll?

“WHAS backed us really nice on the Native American nutjob thing.”

“That works. Have them there, waiting. When Gahan reaches over to turn on the sun, the architect grabs his hand and stops him.”

“Go on.”

“He says, Mr. Mayor, the Baylorites have booby-trapped the sun. If you touch that switch, you’ll see your shadow, and we’ll have six more years of bad baseball teams in Cincinnati.”

“That’s good. He’ll buy that. But what about the sun? If the sun doesn’t rise in New Albany, I may have to go where it’s warm.”

“I’m getting there. So, the architect tells Jeff: Look, no more switches. You can do it with your head, kinda like voodoo. All you have to do is repeat after me: ‘There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.’”

“Sniffle.”

“Omigod! Duggins, are you crying?”

“It’s so beautiful. The mayor swallows the bait, and voy-logee, no more Sun Switch. We’ll just throw that 700 bucks on the next paving contract. Just one question.”

“Shoot.”

“Which one of us is the Scarecrow?”

News and Tribune to sell its building and relocate NA HQ to a handy laptop at Quills.

The Green Mouse reports what may be old news: The News and Tribune's local crew will relocate very soon to offices within Matt Chalfant's National City Bank rehab on Pearl Street, and Chalfant has purchased the building pictured here (but not including the fork-in-road-cheese sculpture).

Chris Morris is expected to write a glowing review about his years in this featureless building, many of which were spent admiring Ted Heavrin from afar. Morris is not expected to mention how, in the 1990s, the newspaper's then-chain owner (three or four times removed from the current chain owner) demolished the historic Park Christian Church building to build a pole barn, which in turn became obsolete a decade later.

Philistines.

I've never forgiven 'em for that one, if you want to know the truth.

FLASH: Building Commissioner David Brewer has announced that if he cannot demolish the former Tribune building or the old National City/Mutual Trust Bank building, could he at least fulfill the city's quota with CCE by letting the city's preferred demolition contractor demolish the fork-in-road-cheese sculpture?

Please, Lord, help us to occupy these vacant houses.

The News and Tribune's Jerod Clapp had the misfortune to draw the short straw for last night's council gathering, and somewhere amid the Rev. Burks' broken-record insistence that compelling me to listen to him pray at every single yearly meeting somehow does NOT violate my own 1st Amendment rights, a discussion about vacant houses broke out.

No, I didn't attend the function. My guild meeting in Indy ran late, and after thirty years of listening to these arguments in favor of Christian theocracy, sometimes the piety is a bit too much to bear. As for the vacant houses, many of which merely are in need of tender loving rehab and not outright demolition, it remains pleasant to consider how we might leverage the investment required to enable River View into a few hundred River Views throughout the city.

Vacant properties remain problematic for New Albany; Building commissioner says more resources needed for code enforcement

NEW ALBANY — With the only ordinance on the agenda tabled again, the New Albany City Council discussed the future of a vacant housing committee at their regular session Thursday, as well as the replacement of invocations with a moment of reflection at the start of meetings.