ASK THE BORED: Had NA Confidential not asked, it's unlikely City Hall would have answered, so "Initial Work on Grid Modernization Begins."

Hell, it took NAC two weeks to ask, but at least we got around to it on the 24th.

ASK THE BORED: BOW directs handicapped sidewalk users into traffic lanes as downtown corner ramp replacements make a mockery of safety, but bolster campaign finance slush. Also, downtown RR crossing expenses.

None of this has to do with functionality, service to citizens, or even basic competence. It's purely a financial transfer scheme and Team Gahan is making the previous two mayors look like rank amateurs.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that someone had to prod before City Hall felt the need to answer. In New Albany, "proactive" means that 5% of the 80% tithed by the federal government has been safely installed in its comfortable new Cayman Islands home. After this cardinal rule is obeyed, coin flips are sufficient for future information dissemination.

And so they answered with a sleek press release on the 27th. It's called "cause and effect." Of course, it might have been better for City Hall to explain what was happening when the blasting caps first began igniting, but ... see the definition of "proactive" above.

Initial Work on Grid Modernization Begins

Initial work on the Grid Modernization Project, which will transform New Albany’s downtown grid from a 1-way traffic system to 2-way streets, has begun.

Two initial steps have been taken to start the process:

1. All non-American with Disabilities Act compliant ramps in the downtown grid system are currently being updated to provide connectivity and access for all that use our downtown sidewalks.

Working from an inventory that was recently completed by local engineering firm Jacobi, Toombs, & Lanz, Inc., crews have been working since early January on bringing these important infrastructure items up to code. While the largest number of updated ramps are mostly limited to Spring, Market, and Elm streets, side streets with non-compliant ramps are being updated as well. This initial work is expected to be completed by the end of February.

2. Bumpouts on the north side of Market Street are being reconfigured beginning Monday, January 30th.

The bumpouts along the north side of Market Street are being reconfigured in preparation of 2-way traffic along Market Street. By having these bumpouts re-aligned, the city will be able to retain the same number of parking spaces along this corridor when the conversion to 2-way streets is made. During the construction, an estimated 6 parking spaces will be unavailable until the full conversion is made. However, once the 2-way street conversion is complete, all current parking spaces are expected to return.

Future schedule for the Grid Modernization Project

Milling and paving of the downtown grid will begin shortly after asphalt plants reopen in Spring 2017. The project will then begin the installation of a new signalization system, along with accessible pedestrian facilities at each signalized crossings. The contractual completion date for the entire 2-way conversion is September 30, 2017.

If 2017 really is to be the year when the Downtown Grid Modernization Project transitions from the mere rumor of a long overdue, messy compromise of a typically botched Gahanesque half-ass measure, to these adulterated facets actually appearing in real life, then City Hall's favored minions at HWC Engineering, now safely ensconced in the same building as the sewer utility, making those dreamy stuffed satchel transfers easier than ever before -- though it isn't clear which way the largess is traveling -- should have long since moved past the stage of ensuring campaign finance rivulets flowing downhill like raging storm water from Summit Springs, straight into the mayor's splendid State Senate coffers, and started the task of rendering our splendid Speck into adulterated sausage.

So they have. By September 30, we'll see just how badly they've botched it.