During this evening’s city council work session, it was revealed that one or the other consultant had suggested that New Albany could buy a few spare acres now in the event, some years down the road, that a brand spanking new sewer plant might be needed.
This discussion of sewer plant obsolescence seemed to excite certain reactionaries at the extended table, one of whom later (and in a different context) mouthed the words that he’d kick my ass. Council wheels could be felt spinning, albeit at typically slow rates of speed: “Gosh darn, if we just kill economic development, we’ll have less sewage … and we can keep those rates way down … heck fire, debt’s debt … and if there are no people and n businesses, we’ll never run out of defecation capacity.
After former sewer board member Kevin Zurschmiede noted that the current facility probably would be sufficient for another twenty-five years, regular “Science Friday” listener and prospective pugilist Dan Coffey took the opportunity to announce that it wouldn’t be necessary to plan ahead, because by then there’d be magical new ways of disposing of excrement.
Coffey didn’t explain, but I imagine sewage being used to fertilize vast fields of corn to make ethanol to power the rockets on the space ship that would remove the remainder of the wastes to outer space – somewhere out beyond Andromeda, where surely there exists a shed filled with sharper tools than Coffey’s tiresome arsenal of passive-regressive blather.
Most items were passed, some were tabled, and Steve Price voted against almost everything that smacked of economic development. Bill Schmidt was there, but his replacement, Bob Caesar, was not. The Gary (a.k.a. Tumbling Tumbleweeds) spun a tearjerker about the many ways he is abused, and then lost another zoning round … even though his sister voted for it. The beat went on, and on, and on, and if I have time in the morning, I’ll tell you more about it.
But for now, there are litter boxes to empty.
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2 comments:
Andromeda, hell! Birdseye's the place for me. - Sir Dan.
Has anybody ever wondered if maybe Dan Coffey is the real shadow? Would he know what to do if his colleagues ever said, "Whatever you think, Dan. We'll side with you."
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