CM Coffey calls special meeting to revoke city charter, squelch dissent and declare barbecued bologna the official municipal delectable.

Well, not exactly. Councilman Cappuccino wasn't alone in moving for a meeting, and he merely seeks to disband that nasty stormwater drainage board, which has been the bane of Coffey’s existence ever since President Kochert handed over the drain-o dossier and beseeched the Wizard of Westside to go forth and stultify.

Coffey: Disband New Albany drainage board; Contract approval surprised officials; board chair emphasizes independence, by Eric Scott Campbell (News & Tribune).

New Albany City Councilman Dan Coffey, the legislature’s liaison to the year-old Stormwater Board, has proposed disbanding and reconstituting the panel ...

... Coffey plans to introduce the bill at a hastily arranged Saturday council meeting, a week after the Stormwater Board surprised many city officials by voting to transfer the utility’s employees to the control of management contractor Environmental Management Corp.

As you may recall, Coffey enthusiastically responded to the challenge of serving as council liaison by dodging board meetings, where he might have been compelled to take dictation from uppity people with genuine university degrees who wouldn’t know a Bazooka Joe parchment from the doggie droppings on a typical Parisian street.

But there’s more. The Courier-Journal's Dick Kaukas adds spice to the story with this:

City Clerk Marcey Wisman said the special meeting had been called by five of the council's nine members, as permitted under council rules. She said the five who called the meeting are Coffey, Donnie Blevins, Bill Schmidt, Steve Price and Jeff Gahan.

Kochert, a recurring pillar of the obstructionist Gang of Four, can’t very well sign his name to Coffey’s EMC purge consent form, seeing as the lame duck’s own sewer board just finished awarding a no-bid contract of its own. Meeting agenda items pertaining to the city budget and departmental contract policies make it difficult to discern who hopes to accomplish what.

With battle lines blurred and so much remaining to obfuscate before December 31, when a new council alignment comes into being and the Gang's position may well be eroded, will it be a Saturday morning massacre, with all council members fully caffeinated, if not contemplative? Will the Krispy Kreme deliveryman make an unscheduled appearance? Does anyone really believe that Drew Carey can replace Bob Barker?

Why bother reading pulp fiction when real life is so endlessly entertaining?