Mike Sodrel, lend me your ear

Hey, Mike Sodrel … is that you?

Not sure if you remember me from the Harvest Homecoming Parade, but I was the one sitting on the porch, drinking the Zum Uerige Altbier, and holding the sign showing the “W” with the slash through it.

I’m sure you said to yourself, hmm, wonder what that guy’s doing holding the “no M” sign – admit it, Mike, you just didn’t catch my drift, even though you smiled and waved at me.

Anyway, here’s what the Louisville Courier-Journal had to say about the aftermath of your victory over Baron Hill in the 9th District congressional race:

“At a victory rally in Jeffersonville, a crowd of several hundred supporters chanted (Mike) Sodrel's name and listened as ‘God Bless America’ was sung. Sodrel made a short speech to thank supporters, and also emphasized his Christian values and patriotism. He said he plans ‘to fully represent’ residents of all political stripes in the district.”

Okay, Mike, I’ll take you up on that one.

I’m 44, white, a Social Democrat leaning fairly far left by the pathetic two-party standards of the USA, and I read the New York Times. I watch public television and the NBA, not Fox News and NASCAR; drink espresso and microbrewed beer, not Folger’s and Miller Lite; and support pre-emptive measures to end tax-exempt status for all churches rather than tolerate faith-based initiatives of any sort or risk that the churches might become involved in politics.

While we’re on the topic of religion, I’m a secular humanist and an atheist. While numerous others are advising the Democratic Party to detach itself from its brazen contempt for the values of the countryside, I’m advising the countryside to look at itself and ask, “why do our children decamp for the city the first chance they get?”

I rather like France and always have. There's just something about an overweight American sitting in a garish Hummer in the Wal-Mart parking lot, drinking a 64-ounce Pepsi, chortling at the antics of Donald Trump, and pausing only to laugh at the anti-French jokes on the local Clear Channel outlet that makes me wonder exactly why we would allow such an outrage … to reproduce.

So, Mike, tell me how you’re planning on representing me in Congress without alienating the cadres of fundamentalist bigotry, or more importantly, those people from far, far away who sent you all that money to contest the race here in lonely Southern Indiana. Don’t those folks want a return on their investment, and isn’t that return going to be a bit different conceptually than the place I’m standing?

Self-made businessmen do repay debts, don’t they?

Let me know.