The ultimate in bright shiny objects? Now Jeff Gahan's going to build a pro soccer stadium in New Albany.

“A soccer stadium would be very exciting, the mayor said ... Neace pegged the cost of the venue between $20 million and $30 million."

I swear to Jeeebus that I'm dead sober, and it isn't even April 1.

Soccer club considering New Albany for stadium, by Boris Ladwig (Insider Louisville)

Louisville City FC is considering building its planned stadium in New Albany, Ind., with government officials there actively courting club leaders for the $20 million to $30 million project.

Chairman John Neace said that the club had narrowed the potential locations for a stadium to two — down from four — and though he wouldn’t talk specifics, New Albany is in the running, IL has learned.

“We desperately need a stadium, or quite honestly, the team will probably have to go elsewhere,” Neace told IL in an interview in the club’s downtown offices.

Without revenue from sponsorships and concessions, the club is unlikely to be able to sustain itself and to keep growing, he said.

New Albany officials said they would welcome the investment of a new stadium and would consider some public support to lure the venue to Indiana ... 

My first thought: Damn, looks like the News and Tribune's been scooped again. Fine work, Boris Ladwig -- but be aware that the Marriott under construction is in Jeffersonville, not New Albany. Maybe we'll get a new San Antonio Inn.

At IL's Facebook page, the reaction from Louisville City FC fans is unrelentingly scathing so far. Ouch.

As for stunned New Albanians, who'd imagined the mayor's ballyhooed surprise announcement was going to be citywide paving, a new Asian health spa or Bass Pro Shop gift card giveaways at this summer's Bicentennial Park Concert Series, well, they're left to ponder three questions:

Exactly where do we place a potential 20,000 seat stadium?
Exactly how much in "incentives" will it cost?
Exactly how many box seats will trickle down to BOW?

It's impossible to judge until we know the answers, and until then, let's just allow the satire to write itself, as with the scene right now at 8:00 p.m., with Team Gahan functionaries armed with flash lights and tape measures, crawling around the perimeter of "the project" on Bono Road.