AND MY BUSINESS IS NOT CALLED ROOSTERS, YOU FREAKING NITWITS.
This fellow breathlessly called me on Monday, saying he represented the city of New Albany. I thought maybe we hadn't paid the sewer bill, but it's even worse than that, because the city (yet again) has authorized this "publishing sans spell check" company to shill for ads in its map.
As a business owner who must listen to sales pitches constantly, permit me to point out how annoying these asinine hawkers can be. But to me, it's a whole new level of aggravation when your own city foists them on you under the rubric of "partnership."
To be fair to the Gahan administration, this isn't the first time. I've been complaining about parasitic practices like this since the Regina Overton interlude, because do we really want to empower semi-literate sales flacks from somewhere else to encourage the illusion that they're working with, for, or at the city? That's exactly what they do, and just like most of their grating ilk, they don't like taking no for an answer. My time is valuable, and frankly, I resent this business "model."
Here's the meat of the pitch. First, the absurdly error-marred main text, with ad examples removed lest other businesses think I'm exposing them to ridicule. I'm not, but dudes, there's got to be a better way than this to spend your money.
Afterward, there's a .pdf of the letter from the mayor, which my caller Anderson seemed to feel would be a hook impossible for me to ignore.
Yo, Jason, I've got news for you. Somehow, I'm managing to avoid writing a check.
The City of New Albany is in the process of reserving spaces for its #1 requested item, (The Official New Albany City Map & Resource Guide), which is the only and most updated Area Map & Resource Guide that the City endorses. We are now in the process of updating the new edition for all the local businesses and organizations.
We hope to count on your support and participation. We would like to promote Roosters under the Restaurants category in the upcoming edition with us.
Attached is the letter you should have reveiced, signed by Jeff Gahan (Mayor) announcning it.
There will be 10,000 full color copies of the printed version going out over the next 18 months along with an online counterpart which will be linked from the City of New Albany’s webpage.
- The 10,000 copies will be distributed by the City for free to new families and re-locators moving into and around the area. They will also be distributed to over 150 high traffic locations around the community such as banks, schools, libraries, restaurants, etc.
- You will receive your own supply for personal use.
- The online counterpart will list all participating businesses/organizations by category, pinpoint your exact location, list your contact information, and will feature a direct link back to Roosters’ website as well.
There are 3 different options in which to participate: Each of them only have a ONETIMEcost to be featured for the next 18 months. Below/attached are some examples of businesses/organizations who participated in the previous edition to show you the format. I also attached a portion of the previous edition as well.
Whichever route you decide to take, would simply invoice you for it, you would have 30+ days to take care of it if need be.
Business Card Display - $349.00
Double Business Card Display (Twice the size for more exposure) - $599.00
A Premier 4x9 Panel Display for maximum exposure (entire 4x9 page for yourself, magazine quality, first seen displays, only 1 remaining) - $1,500.00
We have graphic designers that can make artwork for you which will be able to revise and make any desired changes, or you can email us your own artwork to use.
We hope to count you in!
Talk to you soon,
Target Marketing, Inc.
Phone: 800-933-3909 ext.1041