Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Fleetwood Mac's Tusk: "The result is a beautiful and terrifically strange album."







In the old-fashioned parlance (times two), I carry a torch for double albums.

In the original vinyl era, they meant greater bang for your buck. Of course, some were padded with filler, but others were strong from start to finish. The CD era produced numerous releases that would have been double albums on vinyl, like Def Leppard's Hysteria.

Much to my regret, the digital era has rendered most of these discussions moot. With the caveat that double live albums deserve their own category, personally preferred examples of double albums in my own collection include these.

Quadrophenia ... The Who
Exile on Main Street ... Rolling Stones
(White Album) ... The Beatles
Physical Graffiti ... Led Zeppelin
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road ... Elton John
The Wall ... Pink Floyd
Jesus Christ Superstar (Original London Concept)
Chicago Transit Authority

And then there's Tusk.

Fleetwood Mac: Tusk, by Amanda Petrusich (Pitchfork)

Fleetwood Mac's beautiful and terrifically strange 1979 LP Tusk poses the question: What happens when love dissipates, and you have to find a new thing to believe in? What if that thing is work?

The autumn of 1979 was, by any reasonable accounting, a challenging time to be alive. The world felt tenuous, transitional: panicked families were fleeing East Germany via hot air balloon, China was restricting couples to one child each, fifty-two Americans were barred inside the U.S. Embassy in Tehran, pending release of the Shah. It was also the year of Tusk, the album in which Fleetwood Mac, a soft-rock band second only to the Eagles in their embodiment of easy 1970s gloss, completely lost their minds. It was the band’s twelfth album, though only its third with the now-iconic lineup of guitarist Lindsey Buckingham, drummer Mick Fleetwood, bassist John McVie, keyboardist Christine McVie, and singer Stevie Nicks, and it reflected a personal tumult so claustrophobic and intense it felt global in scale—an after-the-fall re-telling of catastrophic heartache and its endless reverberations.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Another tale of two perspectives -- The school board, Bruce Hibbard and Twitter.


I was struck by the difference in emphasis between the Courier-Journal's and the News and Tribune's coverage of last week's school board meeting. The reporter Clapp strikes a very neutral tone.

New Albany-Floyd schools votes on expulsion policy; Board will no longer hear appeals, by Jerod Clapp (River Ridge Revue)

(Lee Ann) Wiseheart and Superintendent Bruce Hibbard argued over the district’s posting of a vice principal position at New Albany High School and whether it gave enough opportunity for minority candidates to apply ...

... Hibbard said the issue of getting more minority employees in education is a nationwide issue, not one that’s isolated to New Albany-Floyd County Consolidated Schools. Wiseheart said she understood, but hopes the district can be a part of changing that trend.

Meanwhile, the C-J's Clark goes straight for the jugular.

Board member questions NAFC diversity efforts, by Kirsten Clark (C-J)

New Albany-Floyd County Schools Superintendent Bruce Hibbard came under scrutiny during a discussion Thursday night about a lack of diversity among principals, assistant principals and central office leadership in the district – which employs only one minority administrator ...

... In addition to initiating discussions in meetings, Wiseheart has taken to Twitter to express disappointment in the schools district’s minority recruiting efforts.


... At the end of the 15-minute conversation, an exchange between Hibbard and Board President Becky Gardenour became particularly heated after Gardenour called out the superintendent after she felt he had criticized another board member for missing a school event.

“I really would appreciate it if there’s not a dig if a board member doesn’t attend something, I really would appreciate (that) that would be kept out of our discussions,” she said.

“And I would also appreciate if our board doesn’t make tweets about the disappointment of the board and the superintendent,” Hibbard said. “I think that’s inappropriate. It's unethical. If you read Indiana School Boards Association ethics ... (we vote) and we move on from there. We don’t hold grudges. And yet, that’s kind of what the last year and a half has been.”

“No, that’s what it’s been for six years,” Gardenour quipped. “Alright, anything else? Alright. Meeting adjourned.”

Turns out that Hibbard's as thin-skinned as Jeff Gahan. No wonder they occupy the same bed.

Spin the enforcement wheel: Three signs, but how many citations?


Trump, Cruz and the Fraternal Kiss: "My God, Help Me to Survive This Deadly Love."


The billboard in Cleveland generated much discussion during last week's Republican National Convention.

The Republican Convention Gets a Billboard of Donald Trump Kissing Ted Cruz, by John Metcalfe (City Lab)

Here’s hoping attendees brought their eye bleach.

When I saw it, something similar came to mind.

The photo by Regis Bossu (1979).

It's something to do with making metaphorical love to your client state.

The Socialist Fraternal Kiss between Leonid Brezhnev and Erich Honecker, 1979, at Rare Historical Photos

The socialist fraternal kiss became famous via Erich Honecker and Leonid Brezhnev, who were photographed exercising the ritual.


In turn, the photo generated memorable Berlin (not Mexico) Wall graffiti.

My God, Help Me to Survive This Deadly Love (Wikipedia)

My God, Help Me to Survive This Deadly Love (Russian: «Господи! Помоги мне выжить среди этой смертной любви», German: Mein Gott, hilf mir, diese tödliche Liebe zu überleben), sometimes referred to as the Fraternal Kiss (German: Bruderkuss), is a graffiti painting on the Berlin wall by Dmitri Vrubel, one of the best known of the Berlin wall graffiti paintings. Created in 1990, the painting depicts Leonid Brezhnev and Erich Honecker in a fraternal embrace, reproducing a photograph that captured the moment in 1979 during the 30th anniversary celebration of the foundation of the German Democratic Republic.

Even better:

MSNBC

Sunday, July 24, 2016

"If every child on every street, had clothes to wear and food to eat -- that's a miracle."



You never know where it's coming from, or what might trip it.

Bob Youngblood was my high school English teacher. He was a mentor and a friend. He died on Friday, but because it was my responsibility to host the annual family reunion weekend, I pushed it off to the side.

First you do your job, then comes the rest.

On Saturday night, 40 of us descended on Big Four Burgers + Beer (staff was awesome, by the way) for food, drink and socializing. Most of my cousins are older than me, and many have grandchildren. Some of these kids were there at Big Four, for the most part running amok.

Often I'm a Grinch at times like this, but oddly enough, on Saturday their joyful, writhing presence seemed comforting. None of it bothered me.

Closing ceremonies for the reunion came on Sunday morning, with Honey Creme doughnuts and Quills coffee, and then a bout of yard work, and finally a chance to catch up on writing.

Looking at the photograph of Bald Knob (the future Summit Sprigs off State Street), the very first words to come into my head were "Mother Nature does it all for us," a lyric from the Queen song "online.com/en/the-band/discography/miracle/">The Miracle", off the album of the same name.

The fifth and final single was the album’s title track. The Miracle, coupled with a live version of Stone Cold Crazy (recorded in London in 1974) was issued on November 27, and reached No 21 in the UK charts. The accompanying video is one of Queen’s most endearing and memorable, and features four child look-alikes (chosen after weeks of auditions) in the guise of the Queen band members. Directed by the DoRo team and filmed at Elstree studios, the real band members were only seen in the final part of the video, when they join their younger counterparts on stage. After seeing the ‘young Queen’ performing, Freddie was later to quip “Could they do a whole tour for us?”

I wrote the article, then thought it might be nice to hear the song. It had been a while since I'd listened to it. Life is strange. You push play, and before you know it, you're bawling -- because of life, death and all the stages in between.

They're tears of sadness because Bob's no longer with us, and tears of joy at his amazing, enduring legacy.

It's crying because those grandchildren are the future, and because I hope they have a damned future.

You're reaching for the tissues because music can be so deeply redemptive, often when you least expect it.

 Thanks. I really needed that. I'm going to listen to "The Miracle" again. This time, I'm ready.


Summit Sprigs, or the best stormwater slides TIF-ication can buy.


Mother Nature does it all for us.

By clear-cutting in March and waiting a few short months, we can see exactly where to put the water slides (in rainy season) and toboggan runs (in winter).

It's only one part of the inspiring, scenic State Street scene.

The Scott Blair Memorial Hardee's.

Got (Scott) Wood?

It's a shopping cart/Gahan public art.

Pretend neutrality: The DNC's bias brings to mind Chef Dickey's own local delicacies.


"Obviously (Trump) has run a very divisive campaign himself, assaulting and assailing just about anyone who is in a minority group, a religious group, just about anyone who doesn't completely agree with him."
-- Adam Dickey, local professional Democrat (WHAS)

How very providential of Adam to offer counterpoint to his own club fraternity party's angelic inclinations, as in this e-mail from Democratic National Committee CFO Brad Marshall, also quoted by Charlie Pierce.

From:MARSHALL@dnc.org
To: MirandaL@dnc.org, PaustenbachM@dnc.org, DaceyA@dnc.org
Date: 2016-05-05 03:31
Subject: No shit

It might may no difference, but for KY and WVA can we get someone to ask his belief. Does he believe in a God. He had skated on saying he has a Jewish heritage. I think I read he is an atheist. This could make several points difference with my peeps. My Southern Baptist peeps would draw a big difference between a Jew and an atheist.

Of the recipients, only DNC CEO Amy Dacey answered: "Amen." A-my D-acey. A-dam D-ickey. Reptilian coincidence?

Even the Smart Reptiles Don't Write This Stuff Down, by Charles P. Pierce (Esquire)

... So thus does ideologically aligned press get a Dems In Disarray narrative to write, the ostensibly non-aligned press gets the Both Sides In Chaos story of its dreams, and the DNC under DWS demonstrates, for possibly the last time, that it would screw up a two-car funeral if you spotted it the hearse. These are the people standing between the Republic and El Caudillo de Mar-A-Lago.

Back in here in Swelterville, local Democrats remain stone cold silent in the face of these WikiLeaks side-splitters, obviously waiting for ranking boy genius Dickey and his creation, Jeff "Mortimer Snerd" Gahan, to tell them what they can admit to thinking, if at all.

Earlier today, I surveyed the range of ranking local Democrats on social media.



I'm shocked -- shocked, I say -- to learn that the Democratic National Committee, "which isn’t supposed to favor one Democratic candidate over another until they receive a nomination," did exactly that.

Really?

Debbie Wasserman Schultz wasn't neutral?

Of course, if you're among the New Albanians who supported David White for mayor in last year's Democratic primary, you've heard this story before.

Local party chairman Dickey lifted his entire pro-Gahan playbook from Wasserman Schultz ... unless it was the other way around, and she copied off Dickey's paper.

Dickey as role model for neutrality? Local Demos should be choking on their Bud Lights, but instead, someone needs to fetch a shitload of dimes.

Here are the revised Taco Steve hours of operation.

Taco Steve, himself.
Contrary to common assumption, not all potential taco eaters are on social media, even if Taco Steve's page at Facebook is the prime source of the taqueria's information.

Here are the revised Taco Steve hours of operation.

Tuesday 11:30 a.m. - 9:00 p.m.
Wednesday 11:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m.
Thursday 11:30 a.m. - 9:00 p.m.
Friday 11:30 a.m. - 9:00 p.m.
Saturday 12:00 a.m. - 8:00 p.m.

Taco Steve is located at 604 E. Spring Street. The phone number is (812) 670-6463.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Council frivolity, slice of the second part: "Gahan Cares More About Concrete Than People."



Thanks to Mr. B for these photos.

John Rosenbarger sat at his desk. Outside his door, the clamor of the peasantry could be heard amid the clatter of pitchforks.

He spat, then threw back his last shot of fiery sarsaparilla.

“The grandeur of my physique, the complexity of my worldview, the decency and taste implicit in my carriage, the grace with which I function in the mire of today’s world – all of these at once confuse and astound the buffoons at Mt. Tabor and Klerner Lane."

Rosenbarger gazed at his reflection in the framed portrait of Robert Moses.

"But Jeffie's got my back, bro."

New Albany residents concerned road construction will lead to more flooding; Council passes resolution to support NAFC Schools referendum

NEW ALBANY — Residents in neighborhoods near Silver Slate Creek have concerns that upcoming road construction will make flooding issues much worse.

Nearly 20 New Albany residents turned out at the New Albany City Council meeting Thursday to voice their concerns over a project that will widen Mount Tabor Road. New storm grates would mean drainage would go directly into the creek in the residential area.

Harvey Hamilton, who lives on Creek View Circle just in front of the creek, said he's been there 34 years and only started seeing issues four to five years ago.

“Silver Slate Creek starts right behind our house,” he said. “There's about a six or eight-foot pipe there that dumps where the creek starts. Now we've had five trees that have lost roots and washed across the creek. The cable people and the electric people moved their boxes up on the street.

“We're losing ground and losing trees. We appreciate anything you can do for us.”

For one resident, Team Gahan's congenital secretiveness has made the problem worse.

“It was my knowledge that plans for such projects have to be public, located somewhere within the county building where people who were affected could come and take a look at them and to my knowledge these people have said they've had trouble locating said plans."

6th district councilman Scott Blair, who helped the neighborhood slay the nasty Rosenbarger Roundabout back in '13, assured his constituents that he'd sponsor an openness resolution in council -- though he'll need to consult his Mutable Principles Book to see whether he can vote in favor of his own idea.

(Blair) wants to initiate a public meeting with the project engineers to keep the people updated on any changes that have been made and to refresh anyone's memory on the project that was initiated three years ago.

Bankers; you can't trust 'em, and even North Korea won't take 'em off your hands.

Unsurprisingly, the CoffeyCopperHead did not hesitate to strike: That hi-falootin' wee-fee dunnit.

“I still go back to $600,000 for WiFi for downtown. How far would that go to help this problem and that only goes to benefit very few people.”

Yes, "them people" again.

The summary:

The roundabout was removed from the plan in 2013, and the sidewalks are needed, but not unless the overall intent is narrowing lane widths and slowing traffic. These people rightly fear that road "improvements" will attract further traffic and make their drainage issues even worse. It's hard to argue against this point of view, but Jeff Gahan -- perhaps NA's least communicative mayor ever -- doesn't even try.

Hence the signs, and the pitchforks. If only we'd start using the latter.

(Part One)

Zygmunt Bauman on liquid fear.

We are walking as if on a minefield. We are aware that the field is full of explosives, but we can't tell where there will be an explosion and when. There are no solid structures around us on which we can rely, in which we can invest our hopes and expectations. Even the most powerful governments, very often, cannot deliver on their promise. They don't have enough power to do so.
-- Zygmunt Bauman, philosopher

The answer is negotiating these fears ... and fear seemingly precludes any interest in negotiating.

In other words, welcome to Facebook's towering silos.

Zygmunt Bauman: Behind the world's 'crisis of humanity' (Al Jazeera)

Polish philosopher Zygmunt Bauman frames the upheaval across the globe as symptomatic of the diffusion of fear ...

 ... "Liquid fear," Bauman explains, "means fear flowing on our own court, not staying in one place but diffuse. And the trouble with liquid fear, unlike the concrete specific danger which you know and are familiar with is that you don't know where from it will strike.

Thanks to Professor Vessels for the link.

R.I.P. Bob Youngblood, 1943 - 2016.

For those who didn't know Bob, he was a teacher at Floyd Central for more than 30 years. Speaking personally, he had a tremendous impact on my life.

Bob died yesterday after suffering a brain aneurysm earlier in the week, and to be perfectly honest, it's a bit much for me at the moment.

Words don't often fail me, but this is different. When they return, I'll write more, and also update this space when funeral arrangements are announced.




Council frivolity, slice number one: The council makes mad passionate love to a "referendumn."


Pretty soon the Jeffersonville paper will be reduced to hiring temps to cover New Albany news. Does Bill "Publisher of the Year for Profits" Hanson really believe ten months of neglect doesn't show on a daily basis?

It isn't that this week's revolving replacement reporter fails to note the highlights of the city council meeting on Thursday evening, which I couldn't attend owing to this being my family reunion weekend.

Rather, it is this: The primary reason for having a beat reporter in the first place is to allow the reporter time to contextualize, and to extract the important bits from the bilge.

However, it's all we have, so we'll use what we can. First, the council's embrace of the school corporation's $87 million referendum.

New Albany residents concerned road construction will lead to more flooding; Council passes resolution to support NAFC Schools referendum.

RESOLUTION FOR REFERENDUMN PASSES

The council voted 8-0 in favor of supporting the New Albany-Floyd County Consolidated Schools referendum, with Coffey abstaining.

He cited concerns with the city taking schools out of neighborhoods, where parents can be involved, and leaders worrying too much about school buildings over students and teachers.

“Let's get back to the basics,” he said. “Quit worrying about buildings and worry about (teaching the children).”

Other council members spoke on the merits of having nice school facilities — it can be a greater learning environment and bring students back to their hometown to raise families if the amenities are good.

Councilman Greg Phipps also brought up that newer or upgraded facilities can more easily and safely be locked down in an active shooter situation.

(Alternative spelling of "referendum" is the paper's, not mine.)

Passage of the resolution was a foregone conclusion, but the final score is interesting for three reasons:

1. Once again, Scott Blair somehow located a banker's top-secret special exception to oft-stated principle about the disposable meaningless of council resolutions, and voted in favor of this one. That't two in a row, Scott. When exceptions become the rule, they're no longer exceptions.

2. Once again, Dan Coffey repeatedly stated opposition to a measure, only to meekly abstain when the vote came down. We've seen this so many times over the years that it has ceased to be novel, even if it remains grimly fascinating, as though watching as 71-year-old Pete Townshend tries (and fails) to smash his guitar.

3. Did Greg Phipps really say this -- and if so, given his support for gun control, was it a facetious remark, the snark of which eluded the reporter?

I suspect it was. It's all about context, Bill. It genuinely matters to those of us who actually live here, as opposed to Alabama. Can we have our reporter back yet, or are you passing the savings along to yourself?

(In Part Two, Timosoara meets Klerner Lane)

Gahan's Odyssey: A flatbed trailer truck driver circles the world just to Break Wind.

He finally made it. 

Friday morning, I was walking west on Elm Street. Just steps away from Pearl Street, my ears registered the roar of an approaching heavy truck on one-way Elm. Glancing over, I saw a long flatbed trailer loaded with stacks of wood marked "4th Floor."

Having observed the ongoing construction of the Break Wind Lofts at Duggins Flats, I reasoned the lumber was headed there, thought nothing more, and continued walking.

Now strolling south on one-way Pearl Street, I crossed one-way Spring Street, then went east on one-way Market Street, pausing only briefly to greet the morning denizens of the Art Store. At 3rd Street, I bore left and north, which brought me to one-way Spring, a right turn, and the final eastward segment of my walk, back to the house.

As I crossed 4th Street walking east, my ears registered the roar of an approaching heavy truck, on one-way Spring coming toward me, roughly adjacent to Destinations Booksellers.

That's right: A long flatbed trailer loaded with stacks of wood marked "4th Floor."

From the time I'd seen the truck it at Elm and Pearl, just after the driver came off the interstate, perhaps 8 - 10 minutes had elapsed. Apparently he'd been compelled to travel far to the east on one-way Elm in order to double back on one-way Spring and reach his entry point at the Break Wind staging yard between 4th and 5th.

He would have even if Elm wasn't blocked at 5th.*

If it were a two-way street grid, he might have turned right from Elm onto 4th, then left on Spring, cutting quite a few blocks traveled from his trip.

The point to this digression has nothing to do with this particular truck and its epic journey to reach the first instance in the city's history of sewer tap-in waivers as incentive to a for-profit developer.

Rather, it's to illustrate the sheer wastefulness of our one-way street grid, because every single day -- not every now and then -- drivers must add distance to their journeye owing to one-way streets, when two-way streets would make so many of these journeys more direct, saving both fuel and time.

It's the sort of fact-based thought process you'd imagine resonating in the minds of supposedly rational community pillars, and that it does not do so tells us all we need to know about their crippling prejudices.

It isn't hard for me to imagine their reaction were they to read what I've written here.

You walked all that way? 

Why? 

Don't you have a car? 

Lynchburg, Virginia offers this useful overview of two-way street reconversion. Even a child of five would understand it, so can someone fetch a child of five?

Irv Stumler and Bob Caesar need assistance.



* Sentence reinserted. I think the analogy holds irrespective of the pit at 5th & Elm, but I should have made note of it.

Friday, July 22, 2016

WITHIN CITY LIMITS: Episode X, A Look Ahead to 2019.

WITHIN CITY LIMITS: Episode X, A Look Ahead to 2019.

By Nick Vaughn, Guest Columnist

My past few articles have been about national politics; ironically, outside of our city limits. I thought that it would be fitting that this week, I completely ignore the Republican National Convention, and take a look ahead to the City Election in 2019. I am going to throw out some way-too-early predictions, do some issue analysis, and even possibly make some endorsements.

Who will be running for Mayor?

The showdown for Mayor of New Albany will be a competitive one, I foresee. I will start off by saying that I do not think Jeff Gahan will be running for a third term (because he really shouldn’t be), three 4 year terms is slightly unprecedented, only one Mayor has served more than two consecutive terms.

C. Pralle Erni served from 1948­-1963, enough time to make any follower of Jeffersonian Democracy shiver. (By the way, I found this cool excerpt about Mayor Erni from a book by Gregg Seidl, which you can read here. Beware though, annexation is mentioned!) So, although there is precedent for Gahan to run for a third term, I do not think he will. He will have been much too busy running for State Senate the preceding year.

So who will be running for Mayor? Well, on the Republican side I think there are three obvious candidates who would be formidable in a Mayoral campaign. They are listed in likelihood of winning: Dr. Al Knable, Dave Barksdale, and Dave Aebersold. It should be noted that in the 2015 City Election, Dr. Knable received 3,403 and Mayor Gahan received 3,527. A great showing that I think proves the popularity of Dr. Knable in a citywide election. But don’t count out the Daves either. They received 3,365 (Barksdale) and 3,012 (Aebersold), respectively, enough to easily dispose of their Democrat opponents. Oh, and if you want to reminisce a bit about 2015, you can view the Summary Report here.

Each Republican Councilman has a lot to be excited about with regard to their vote totals and Mayoral aspirations (if they have any). The Democrats, not so much. While they hold a slight majority on the City Council, none of the Council Members really scream “I could win in a race for Mayor!” The obvious choice on the Democratic side based on office rank would be Pat McLaughlin, Council President, but that just makes me giggle.

Greg Phipps, to me, could make a decent run at it, but does he have the name ID outside of his safely Democratic District? And who runs for that seat if he decides to vacate it? It seems to me that each member on the Democratic side would create a domino effect by vacating their seat to run for Mayor. All that being said, the Mayor’s Office is ripe for the taking for Republicans.

What about the City Council?

Obviously, the big question mark is under what party, if any, does Dan Coffey run? In my opinion, I am not sure it really matters which party because I think it will be very hard to find a candidate to run against him ... again. As Dale Bagshaw would say: “That’s almost un-American to have someone run unopposed.” I agree Dale! Regardless, Coffey is a renegade and will be fighting his fights no matter what party.

Like the Mayor’s Office, the other City Council seats are ripe for the taking by Republicans. Last election showed that Republicans can win in the City, and Democrats should be scared. District 6, 5, 3, and 2 are the most likely to flip this time around. Not sure who will be running in those Districts, but I do know the key to winning for the Republicans. The silver bullet that will put each incumbent out of office (at least in those numbered Districts).

It is ... Two-­Way Streets.

For what will be 8 years in 2019, Greg Phipps has said that we will fight for Two­-Way Streets (where feasible); Scott Blair will abstain, I’m sure; and Bob Caesar hasn’t fought for them at all. This is why I think 2019 will be a Republican wave. Those that I named have been inactive on Two-­Way Streets, when some said they would act. Some don’t want them. Some just haven’t cared to mention anything about them.

If the Republican candidates rally around this issue and have a good message on other important issues like a transparent government, curbing poverty, and fiscal responsibility, I think that the 6th, 5th, 3rd, and 2nd Districts will flip Republican. To point out, Two­-Way Streets are something some Republican
candidates have supported in the 2015 election, most notably Dr. Knable, who could lead the party in rallying around a great platform that would prove successful in the fall.

Democrats, be scared. Republicans, be ready and able. New Albany, GET OUT AND VOTE! 2019 is right around the corner!

And as always, I leave you with the quote of the day:

“ ... there will be a giant sucking sound​going south.” (to Greg Fischer’s house ... ) ­ -- Ross Perot

The perfect news story for Trumping the Donald: "Ancient bottom wipers yield evidence of diseases carried along the Silk Road."


Make no mistake: Future archaeologists will have no interest whatever in your e-mail account. Your septic tank? That's another story entirely.

Ancient bottom wipers yield evidence of diseases carried along the Silk Road, by Maev Kennedy (The Guardian)

‘Personal hygiene sticks’ excavated from a 2,000-year-old latrine pit have preserved evidence of the transmission route for infectious diseases.

Well, if Team Gahan can use the pages from Speck's Downtown Street Network Proposal, then I've got my own go-to.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

ON THE AVENUES REWOUND (2014): "We have our own Big Four Bridge. They’re called Main, Market, Spring and Elm."

ON THE AVENUES: We have our own Big Four Bridge. They’re called Main, Market, Spring and Elm.

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

It's family reunion time again, and with it my turn to host the gathering on what will be the hottest weekend of the year. We should consider moving the event to spring or fall, or else transfer it permanently to Baffin Island.

Earlier today, the absentee News and Tribune was harnessing both of its 2-horsepower of electronic media presence to push a pair of radically different pieces by Elizabeth Beilman, one a paean to sprawl (yay), the other a breathless preview of new restaurants (yay), with both united by a single municipal location: Jeffersonville, otherwise known as not as the City by the Bay, but the Burg By River Ridge.

I'm not bitter that Jeffersonville is the feature on days like this. Rather, it's another example of how much the newspaper has missed during its unexplained 10-month hiatus from reporting on all things New Albany.

However, the chain newspaper's characteristically non-contextual coverage dislodged a striking memory from almost exactly two years ago -- to be exact, it was July 17, 2014, when I explained in this very space how New Albany might steal a march on Jeffersonville.

We subsidized an Indianapolis builder instead, and shifted mucho dinero toward the Gahan re-election campaign's already bulging coffers. As Vonnegut presciently wrote, so it goes.

Except that I was right in 2014, and I remain right today. 

Of course, two years later, we do now have our own Big Four ... Burgers. It's fine, but all we've achieved to date would be better if streets worked for progress rather than against it.

---

July 17, 2014

If car ownership is mandatory, [the place is] not urban.
– Donald Baxter

Seeing as you’re entitled to my opinion, here it is.

I believe it serves as evidence of a lack of imagination (at best) and a latent inferiority complex (at the worst) when we focus on the occasional yearly highlight at the expense of everyday possibilities.

Take Harvest Homecoming.

Please, take it.

(rim shot)

Actually, today I have come neither to bury Harvest Homecoming, nor to praise it. Rather, I’d like for you to consider the primary operational conceit of Harvest Homecoming, and by this, I don’t mean the festival’s parade, or its elephant ear-fueled events, or even its Wal-Martesque target demographic.

What I mean is the most, basic, elemental aspect of Harvest Homecoming itself.

It occurs only once each year.

It is designed to be a temporary annual festival, and has been designed and planned accordingly. In short, everyday reality downtown is radically supplanted, and a template of temporary reality superimposed atop it.

This spring, when New Albany city officials began exploring the conceptual threads that led to Boomtown, their thinking was the same. It was to be a special event, perhaps repeated once each year in May, so as to contrast and bookend with Harvest Homecoming’s October hegemony.

Note that by drawing this very contrast, City Hall is implicitly conceding that Harvest Homecoming’s autumnal invasiveness downtown will continue to go unreformed, but that’s a different topic for another time. Simply know that Boomtown differs from Harvest Homecoming in one highly significant way, because while it is a one-off event, it actually showcases downtown rather than buries it.

---

We might take this “special event” notion a step further, and posit that this thinking in terms of one-off festivals and celebrations is a recurring feature of city government, now and in the past. For instance, there’s the Bicentennial Park concert series and the July 3 fireworks.

Develop New Albany organizes special events like the Jingle Walk and the now mercifully defunct Exclusively New Albany. NA First is planning its third annual Indie Fest. Churches have their summer picnics, and so on.

As a restaurant and brewery owner, we sometimes think in a similar way as these groups. There’s Gravity Head each year, and the brew crew spends most weekends during the warm weather months showcasing our wares at annual outdoor celebrations throughout Indiana and Kentucky (and one in Wisconsin). It’s always fun to do something different.

But the trick isn’t in the special events, although they require hard work and expertise to execute correctly. Rather, the objective for a food and drink business is to provide consistency on a daily basis, each and every time the door is unlocked and customers are invited inside. To do so, we try to institute a routine. If the routine is working as it should, you’ll get a clean glass each time you order a beer, even if the contents vary in style.

Throughout the year, customers come to us all the time when we’re not doing anything “special” – but they are. Maybe it’s a date night, someone’s birthday, a promotion or a graduation. They come to celebrate their world, in our place, by drinking our beer and eating our food. We provide a canvas, but our customers do the painting.

It’s what a city does, too. The special event planning only makes sense if the daily routine of infrastructure is maintained for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year. Admittedly these days utility monopolies do much of it, although City Hall has successfully reabsorbed the sewer department.

The city controls a cemetery and a system of public parks, features of which are usable throughout the year. It also possesses the street grid, which is the biggest single chunk of municipal property, and therein lies my larger point.

Since the Big Four Bridge opened and Jeffersonville became the new regional hottest ticket, I’ve heard many worried comments and witnessed an epidemic of hand-wringing. Can’t New Albany get a bridge, too? Can’t we stage more festivals, more special events, and more one-offs – you know, like Jeffersonville does?

Well, there won’t be a pedestrian bridge for New Albany unless we pry the K & I out of Norfolk Southern’s (preferably) cold, dead hands, and while we’re on the topic, do you know what is the most important facet of the Big Four Bridge?

It isn’t special at all.

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The Big Four is open every day, and people use it every day. It isn’t open once a year, or once a month. It’s every day. As I write, metro Louisville residents are making the Big Four part of their daily arsenal of lifestyle and recreational choices. That’s all of it in a nutshell. Meanwhile, New Albany has the ideal means to steal a march not just on Jeffersonville, but on the remainder of the metropolitan area, by thinking about what makes the Big Four “special” on a daily basis … just without an actual bridge.

With our streets.

We have a street study coming from the nationally renowned Jeff Speck, who (believe it or not) knows even more about such matters than Bob Caesar, and when Speck’s study is finished, we must embrace walkability and embark upon a progressive, rapid, no-compromises program of traffic calming, complete streets and two-way street conversions.

By doing so, and by staking a claim to being the most walkable and bikeable neighborhood in metro Louisville, we can utilize the street grid we already possess to enhance our quality of life every single day, not just during those exhaustively conjured “special” occasions.

In effect, and to a far greater physical degree, New Albany’s street grid is our Big Four Bridge. The reformatted street grid is the canvas, and its users will do the painting. A walkable and bikeable street grid will be the daily complement to business and residential interests, rather than catering solely to cars and trucks alone, encouraging a broader base for the type of “special” activities the city currently takes upon itself to plan. They’ll happen more often, and more spontaneously, as instigated by businesses and residents.

In short, New Albany can be rendered “special” every single day by design, with the street grid supporting revitalization, not working against it – as our sad, outmoded truck-choked, speeding one-way streets do now.

All we have to fear is fear itself.

And that, my friends, is the biggest problem of all because boy, are we scared.

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July 14: ON THE AVENUES: Weeds, porch appliances and our civic Gospel of Appearances.

July 7: ON THE AVENUES: You say you want a resolution?

June 30: ON THE AVENUES: Irv Stumler screams, "We don't deserve two-way streets!"

June 23: ON THE AVENUES: There's no business like no business -- and it's none of your business.

June 16: ON THE AVENUES: When the engineer uttered that scandalous word aloud, it was like Christmas in June.

A simple PDF from Lynchburg VA shows how Jeff Gahan might have chosen to educate NA about two-way streets, but didn't. And won't.



I'm not sure I've seen a better succinct presentation of the facts.

Granted, the likes of Irv Stumler would use this sheet as metaphorical toilet paper, but shouldn't Irv stick to his flowers ... and shouldn't Jeff Gahan have spent the past two years disseminating information like this, as a leader, rather than cowering in his campaign finance bunker?

Bicentennial commission financial trail? What's two (yawn) weeks (shrug) after 463 days?

And those pesky dual city seals. 
Tomorrow will mark two weeks elapsed since the anticipated date for learning how Bob Caesar's jigged Bicentennial Enfluffment Commission (BlECh) handled the cash.

Lawyer Daggett's vocabulary homework: Dilatory, unpunctual and "perhaps it's time to ring the Indiana public access counselor."

Hail, Caesar ... and make it 463 days. How much time and how many pencil erasers does this man need to honor a simple request?

418 days later, it's obvious that Bob Caesar doesn't care for you to know how the Bicentennial money was spent.


How very helpful. Obviously, Caesar isn't interested in taxpayers knowing how many of those 5,000 books remain unsold and non-glad-handed, or if the redevelopment commission's loan was paid back. What, didn't those lavishly illustrated tomes written by an outsider-for-hire sell like veritable hotcakes?

But wait, wasn't Irv just robotically touting the spotless civic-mindedness of trucking companies?


A reader writes:

This tractor trailer turned right from Spring up Silver Street. Squashed all of the traffic cones on the way. I especially like the way someone sprayed white paint over the phone number you're supposed to call if you have issues with the driver's behavior!

However, there's a bright side: At least it wasn't a Tiger truck.

Tiger Truck Lines and 13th Street: Isn't it time for the spoiled brat to get a good spanking?


Wednesday, July 20, 2016

An assault on impregnable Summit Sprigs? A Break Wind bocce break-in? The Great Cannon Acres Bear Pit heist?


When some suits and the Econ Dev director convene at Quills, can full frontal TIF-fing be very far behind? But give 'em credit; by their standards, it's kinda sorta a public meeting.


After a while, a new top secret diagram was brought in by special ops. From a distance, it looked like an aerial view of a hilltop. Perhaps we're preparing to invade Floyds Knobs and grab some of that cool hospital cash.