Did you do this, doofus? Surrender your commercial driving license immediately.

Prior to Monday, I'd have found it hard to believe that a truck could come this close to felling the huge concrete building guard in the alley by Pints&union. It appears that American dipshit slapdash ingenuity has triumphed, because someone found a way.

In the process, more than a few gallons of oily liquid were spilled all over the alley, to be tracked up and down the sidewalk and into our building. We notified 3rd district councilman Phipps, who passed the information to the street department, and we'll see. The concrete is compromised and will have to be repaired, having done its duty admirably.

My guess? The company that services our used kitchen oil collector. Their phone number is right there on the collection vessel in the alley -- just in case the police launch an investigation.

Hand me those knitting needles, because we're all truck drivers now.

See the map change, and read about the most common (not to say "proper") jobs in each state. Thanks to B for the link.

The Most Common* Job In Each State 1978-2014 (NPR)

What's with all the truck drivers? Truck drivers dominate the map for a few reasons.

Driving a truck has been immune to two of the biggest trends affecting U.S. jobs: globalization and automation. A worker in China can't drive a truck in Ohio, and machines can't drive cars (yet).

Regional specialization has declined. So jobs that are needed everywhere — like truck drivers and schoolteachers — have moved up the list of most-common jobs.

The prominence of truck drivers is partly due to the way the government categorizes jobs. It lumps together all truck drivers and delivery people, creating a very large category. Other jobs are split more finely; for example, primary school teachers and secondary school teachers are in separate categories.