We all do it, so learn more about it: "The Toilet: An Unspoken History."

I prefer Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" as accompaniment, but to each his or her own.

The Toilet: An Unspoken History (BBC Four)

We each spend three years of our lives on the toilet, but how happy are we talking about this essential part of our lives? This film challenges that mindset by uncovering its role in our culture and exploring the social history of the toilet in Britain and abroad - as well as exploring many of our cultural toilet taboos.

Starting in Merida, Spain, with some of the earliest surviving Roman toilets, we journey around the world - from the UK to China, Japan and Bangladesh - visiting toilets, ranging from the historically significant to the beautiful, from the functional and sometimes not-so-functional to the downright bizarre.

Leading our journey is Everyman figure, Welsh poet and presenter Ifor ap Glyn, who has a passionate interest in the toilet, its history and how it has evolved over the centuries, right up to the development of the current design. Finally, there's a glimpse of the future and a possible solution to the global sanitation issues we now face.

Council Obfuscapalooza, Part Three: Making Georgetown do the sewer backstroke, and a garbage rate flip-flop.

This is the third part of my city council notes from September 17. For our Georgetown readers, and as a prelude to what follows, consider Bluegill's recent, brilliant encapsulation of sewer fixations as offered by councilman Jeff Gahan.

"CM Jeff Gahan says that the City Council maintains the authority to set sewer employee salaries and should continue to subsidize the sewer utility with EDIT funds as a function of the Council setting sewer rates and that neither he nor the Council is responsible for sewer related issues because the sewer board is autonomous."

---

R-09-22 A Resolution Seeking to Establish a Full-Time Position Or Office to Pursue Grant Funds … Gonder

Self-explanatory, but City Clerk Wisman reads the resolution, which charts the importance of grant writing in the context of federal aid and stimulus packages.

Coffey: We should be using free-lance grant writers who work on a percentage basis.

Gonder: Agreed, but citing a recently pursued grant that would not have been approved had “we” known a match was required, prefers a more coordinated effort.

Coffey is condescending with him, and Gonder endures it. That’s what bullies and the bullied do, isn’t it?

Coffey: We’re in agreement it is needed, but let’s not preclude using free lancers.
Gonder: The resolution doesn’t specify all this. It’s just a step in the right direction.

That surely dooms it. Are steps in the right direction permitted in New Albany?

Bob Caesar: “Would not have to be a forever position” (?) He counsels making it temporary to see if it works, lest we pay someone not to do something.

Like occupy a council seat? I wonder why Bob Caesar hates downtown so much. His business is there, and yet he consistently opposes the place where he works. Is this an improvement over Bill Schmidt?

All vote in favor except Benedetti and Zurschmiede, who vote against, without explanation.

A-09-11 Ordinance Appropriating Funds for One Time Cost Of Living Recognition Payment and Setting Amount Of Payments … Caesar 2

The usual tired arguments from Price. We have nothing, we can never have anything, we pay people too much, I’m impoverished and everyone should be dragged down to my underachieving level … which, when you come to think of it, is the essence of Communism in its real-life application. Fancy that. My councilman is more of a Commie than me.

All are in favor except the congenital no, Price.

G-09-19 An Ordinance to Reflect Technical Changes Necessary As a Result of An Agreement With the Town of Georgetown … McLaughlin 2

Here goes the sewer merry-go-round for another trip, with the 6th district's circus ringmaster at the helm. City attorney Shane Gibson steps up to explain.

Gibson: “It’s not here to ask you to bless anything … it’s the requirement of the state statute.” Says that language has been cleaned up. Wants the council to know that it need not bless the Georgetown agreement, just approve the sewer board’s completion of the negotiation and agreement. STATE STATUTE – if not, Shane would not bring it to the council.

Gahan has many questions and a few disagreements. Did Gtown pay the penalties?

Gibson: All except what was renegotiated. Roughly $800,000 worth paid. His ordinance doesn’t have the ability to affect NA citizens at all; the only wholesale customer the sewer utility has is Georgetown.

Gahan: It says it will not impact NA – I wanna know where the original 1.9 million went (?)

Gibson: $1.9 million was the price for Gtown to be on the city sewers forever. A year after that was negotiated, there was a new agreement because Gtown said it would build its own plant … so, the $1.9 million is all about the original state of affairs, with the reduction made because Gtown would no longer be using the capacity charted for the $1.9 million.

KZ: In my mind, Gtown is no closer to a new plant today than before, and now we want to give them more time. Why?

Gibson: Gtown has paid $900,000 already … the reality is, we can’t shut them off. The city doesn’t have the option to do that.

KZ: (glowering) Hold Gtown accountable for the agreement, irrespective of the people now in office there!

Gibson: They have made progress. The county is helping them. Two sites have been located, and they’re moving on them.

Benedetti: (yet again trying to be reasonable amid the bedlam of grudges past) They can’t do anything until we approve this -- approve the authority for the sewer board to do this – and give the sewer board the authority to do this.

For the umpteenth time, Gibson patiently repeats that the council is being asked to do this because the state requires it, not because the council is being asked to bless the sewer boards negotiation with Georgetown. Gibson doesn’t want to speak about the specifics of the negotiation because the sewer board is not present, but he hazards the view that the current negotiated settlement is incentive for Gtown to get off the system.

Gahan: (Chihuahua-like) Adamant about the $400,000 that he states Gtown is being forgiven, and says that this sum might well impact NA ratepayers because it “all comes from the same pot.”

ALL OF IT, EXCEPT THE EDIT RATE SUBSIDIES IN NA, THAT GAHAN FAVORS, AND THAT RESULT IN ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT MONIES BEING EXPENDED AS POLITICAL SUBSIDY FOR THE CONCIL’S RE-ELECTION CAMPAIGNS.

McLaughlin: $400,000 is a balance, not a fine.

Gibson: They paid $800,000. The bodies involved agreed to the compromise on the negotiation.

McLaughlin: “It’s hard for us to do this too.”

Yep, it doesn’t seem to get any easier.

Benedetti: Says that this ordinance should go through because it makes no sense to bankrupt Gtown in order to collect from them.

Clerk Wisman: (I didn’t catch all of this) If Gtown gets off the system, they don’t owe us the $450,000, because the pipe doesn’t have to be made larger to handle their flow.

KZ: Objects once again to the agreement reached by the sewer board.

This being the board that is NOT HERE to discuss the SPECIFICS of it.

Gahan: Would the city attorney “guarantee no rate increases in 2010” right here and now?

In effect, Gibson laughs at him.

Last meeting’s vote on this ordinance was sizably against. Same thing tonight.

For: Caesar, Benedetti
Against: Price, McLaughlin (intones something about it being only the 2nd reading), Gahan, Gonder, Messer, KZ, Coffey

Coffey says he has more questions for Gibson but will ask them later, out of earshot of the public. A guy from the audience asks if he may comment. Coffey says no, only the council president can violate council protocol with impunity.

G-09-17 An Ordinance Authorizing Modification Of Certain Provisions Of The Economic Development Revenue Bonds, Series 2004A (Christian Academy Of Indiana, INC Project) of the City Of New Albany … Price 3

8:45 pm. Things seemed to be going so well there for a while.

No comments. Unanimous in favor.

Z-09-10 An Ordinance For The Vacation Of An Existing Easement Pursuant To A Petition Filed By Carl Holiday And Stephen Goodman … Zurschmiede 3

Unanimous, in favor. Carl and Steve don’t have to sit through this any longer.

G-09-16 An Amendment to Ordinance §50.08 Regarding User/Service Fees for Collection of Refuse, Garbage And Yard Waste … Messer 3

As amended with much theatrics last time, with the amendment being a $2 raise with cost of living increases written into it in the future.

Coffey: No committee for this one ‘cuz the nasty administration first proposed it.

Price: Believes in other options. This bad contract “isn’t our fault” because of the former administration did it. “I’m real uncomfortable with that yearly, I know how that goes, people are hurting.”

Messer: Could cost us twice if we don’t deal with the current contract.

Benedetti: has nothing to do with EcoTech – this is to bring us back even with cost of living increases and avoid the subsidy under way currently. Former mayor Garner negotiated the best deal he could, absorbing the employees and trash haulers and bad trucks. She defends this ordinance.

Caesar: $2 is for the consumer price index increase. Get the CPI straightened out with each contract. The increases have been less than a dollar per year – three increases of less than dollar, and so if it is written in to reflect this, there’ll be only cents increases, but now, “wow we have to throw two bucks at everybody.”

Two bucks. Geez, Caesar’s such a political coward.

McLaughlin: Reads verbatim from the contract to the effect that the trucks are not supposed to LEAK bad liquids in places that smell, but they do, and what are we going to do about that?

Everyone: BOARD OF PUBLIC WORKS. Thank you.

Gibson: Can’t fix it if you don’t give me details, Pat.

McLaughlin: Complains about garbage cans as stated in the EcoTech contract … mentions recycling, but it appears it is recycling the cans?

Gibson: Differentiates between city obligations and contract stipulations.

Benedetti: Just about the two dollars.

Gahan: But there’ll be a surplus?

Gibson: The 50,000 surplus is for the neighborhood cleanups that everyone wants – yes, it adds up to more, but not very much more.

Price: “One more point and I’ll shut up. “It’s a mute point.” We should be able to make money on garbage as a city, just like the private businesses make money from it. Put it back in-house.

Price now joins Erika in advocating taking EDIT money away from economic development and giving it outright to “people who are hurting – that’s what I say.”

Vote taken:

For: Caesar, Benedetti, Gonder, Messer, KZ
Against: Price, McLaughlin, Gahan, Coffey

It is approved. Who flipped? Gotta look that one up, but I wasn’t here when the 2nd reading took place. I had been removed from that one.

MISCELLANOUS ITEMS:
Nothing of consequence, so we stop. Knitting needles through the eyes.

August 3 city council meeting notes, part three: Tree board and ordinances, including fee increases.

At roughly 9:20 p.m., a three minute break.

---

We return to an appointment to the tree board to satisfy John Gonder, and the approval of Huncilman's CF1 tax abatement form. Coffey apologizes for keeping him waiting, and the man says he has "enjoyed" it so far. It's about to get better, isn't it?

Ordinances and resolutions

A-09-10 (Gahan 1) EDIT money appropriation for storm water

$75,000 resolution amount becomes $100,000 tonight, because this is the ordinance, by golly, and we rounded up. Council members are still trying to decide where the money is going. Caesar says we have to start doing something now. Price says the rate increase is cart before the horse. Must know where the money is needed first. Price corrects the administration as to the origins of the storm water board, a peculiar obession of his. Coffey wants it stated that the board is three years old. Rate established at inception was to be for five years.

K Zurschmiede clarifies again: From EDIT, not Rainy Day? Rainy Day for future raiding? Gahan says yes, whatever, take it from anywhere. “We want to move as fast as we can.” Kay Garry says because it was advertised as EDIT, must be from EDIT. She could change the newspaper ad if they want to raid Rainy, too.

1st reading: Against … none
For … all of them

---

G-09-14 (Messer 1) Home Rule ordinance to pay for the best interests of New Albany

Garry: State says a line item something or another must have an ordinance, somehow an edict of the state for a specific economic development expenditure. Used for 4H Fair night tickets, etc. Things like that. Only once was the $4,000 already spent. Housecleaning only.

1st reading: Unanimous.

---

G-09-15 (Benedetti 1) user/service fees for storm water
Benedetti expresses favor. Gonder asks whether unpaved roads are subject to stormwater fees (??). Apparently yes.

Price: 5-year-plans back in ’06. Nought six, Anje. I know we had to buy back EMC, etc. Are we paying a secretary $40,000 a year? Who is it?

Kay: Error. She makes $23,000

Price: Shane, what about non-compensating board members? It was in the by-laws. How did that change?

**Kay: The council changed it. “You all passed it and signed it.”

Price votes “no” so often that he can’t remember voting against storm water compensation increases. Now he is silent again. Won't be for long, although if the voters think about it, perhaps Price silence can be permanent soon.

Gahan: Moving the rate without a master plan?

Engineer: Different rates provided to show improvements possible at different monetary expenditures.

KZ wants to see the original budget again. Thinks it is different from the way tonight’s report is set up.

Engineer: A lot went out with EMC.

Not a budget, but prepared by an auditor of sorts. The bottom line is correct, according to the engineer.

Benedetti: Kelly Welsh’s salary? Kay says no, her main salary comes from the sewer department. Kay didn’t get a chance to see it.

Shane: A draft, taking previous numbers and putting them into categories. We can find out exactitude, but this shows you where the money has gone (Messer: “perspective”). It shows what can be used for capital improvements, not a budget.

KZ: “We have to have an actual budget” (where have we heard this?) Kay says it has been given out to them. KZ apparently has forgotten.

Price now uses the word “fictitious,” probably because Barney Fife once said the same word on an episode. Price understands that money is needed, but his concern is accountability.

Price: “They hit us up with code enforcement, and we spent all that money on code enforcement” … stream of consciousness, now he’s talking about mulch and Earth First, “if you don’t think there’s waste, I’m out of here.”

GO GO Go Go Go Steve ... go Steve ... just please go

(someone behind me calls Price an "idgit", and I laugh out loud)

Coffey wants to know why he can’t design the project himself, hell, anyone can do it. Response is that city engineer Tim Marinaro is not licensed to do it and can’t be expected to, but at least we have a city engineer again after many years.

Coffey: “Here’s the biggest problem I have … new people … thing is … told people twict (twice-t)… every time you turn around, I’m not gong to take anybody on face value anymore.”

“Not going to sit here and appropriate more money.”

Messer now calls Coffey out, dramatically: According to the rules of order, which Coffey regularly flouts, Coffey must relinquish the chair if he wants to speak on an issue. Coffey looks annoyed.

Price: “He has a right to speak.”

Coffey: “They can come back and ask for more (money)”

Now some of the storm water victims stand up and begin agreeing to pay extra to make things happen. “I’ll pay that money.”

Storm water president prlomises to watch over increased funds.

Pat McLaughlin now (why?) wants to find out about paving. Plan and master plan for paving was drawn up, and then Spring Street was the first one to be paved, how come?

Kay Garry says: Spring was paved with LRS money, not the $2 million allocated by the council. What any of Pat's thoghts tonight have to do with reality is getting harder to determine. Bet his cell phone was buzzing with Erika mash notes prior to the meeting.

Pat should yet again be the swing vote, although the late arriving Bluegill thinks that Pat will vote yes.

My prediction:
For: BC, JoGo, PM, DB, JM,
Against: SP, JeGa, KZ, DC

Actual vote on 1st reading (passes 5-4):
For: BC, JoGo, JeGa, DB, JM,
Against: SP, KZ, DC, PM

There'll be much chicanery on this one by the time we get to the third reading.
---

G-09-16 (Messer 1) refuse, garbage and yard waste user/service fees

Price: We put the horse before the cart (huh?), it’s called “enabling” … some people have money … people on fixed incomes ... despair and gloom ... trucks running round … guy here will do the whole thing for less …

Does Steve Price have a real job?

Gonder: Bring the price up to break even on the disparity, then the buck fifty’s (got junk oral bid) adds up to less than Ecotech.

Gonder: Why does Ecotech need to be the favored vendor?

Council attorney Stan Robison wants to look it over. Does it have to be bid out again for a whole new service if it's a different service?

Shane: We have a bid of sorts from Got Junk. Must see what is involved and what would be done.

Messer: Can we pass this with no dollar figure in place?

Coffey: Won’t die regardless. It’s only first reading.

Much futile discussion over terms and such. No one knows anything. 9:50 p.m.

Gahan: Let it rip. Messer offered to table. Shane says, now we have a potential solution. Keep the ball rolling, and go from there.

Coffey: “I got a question, irregardless, you’d have to sit there, at that point in time, you’d have to rebid this.”

Shane says they’ll be reviewing this in the morning.

Stan: New services have to be rebid.

Actual vote on 1st reading:
For: JoGo, DB, JM,
Against: BC, SP, KZ, DC, PM, JeGa

Does not pass first reading.

---

Z-09-09 (McLaughlin 2 & 3) Sprigler Builders with Krafty John, Coes Lane

Pat McLaughlin says he tabled it and doesn’t know why it has been revived, but Benedetti explains the "becomes law if not considered a certain number of days from introduction" clause, and illustrates that Pat doesn’t know procedure. A bad night for him. He needs something that is a core plitical value. Even Price has it, although Price's is always wrong. Pat wavers because he doesn;t stand for anything.

We leave before it is decided, because it's my brithday, damn it, and I want a beer.

end of report

August 3 city council meeting notes, part two: Communications from the mayor and city officials.

My notes as hastily scribbled last night in the absence of a signal, presumably because Dan Coffey jammed it with twine and used Bazooka college degrees/gum wrappers.

---

Communications from city officials

Pat McLaughlin: Very dire need with the water problems. Refers back to decisions to fund police. Thanks the council needs to move on it.

John Gonder: Housekeeping … John Rosenbarger contacted him about the tree board, which could receive a grant if one is constituted. Reads a resolution into the record from the Carnegie Center (regarding the Coyle building). What positive steps can we take to help these people? Mentions e coli, and references residents of long standing noting changes. Moratorium on building permits until the stormwater master plan is completed and judges to be sufficient? Gonder supports something like this. “Put the brakes on.”

Benedetti: Has read the ordinance. In work session, it becomes clear that the ordinance needs to read “under an acre,” meaning that the council would be able to peruse it (I believe) – can’t take away the right of a developer to agree to changes … okay, I don’t know what she’s trying to say.

Gonder and Benedetti discuss lot sizes and who reviews construction, and who should or should not build retention or detention ponds. She scheduled the work session because you “can’t punish every body because some developers do it right.”

Gonder: Take a look at development. Too many variables. We don’t know what it is, so should hold off building new houses.

Steve Price: What struck him was people saying when things got built, it got a little worse. Can you redo things already built, make it better or something? (stream of consciousness, hopscotch, whine)

Gahan: Committees? Tabling things tonight?

Coffey: “We’re going to have to come to grips.” Believes that developers hire engineering firms to tell them what they want to hear, and therefore, the council has to protect people from them.

Coffey: Describes another committee. He has talked to the county commissioners about a joint storm water committee to come up with “concrete” in 30-45 days.

Gonder: Tree board?

Coffey: Under appointments.

Gahan: Wants to bring the county in on a rate change, too, if city council will talk about a rate increase tonight. They need to do it there, too. “We’ve got a mess there.”

Coffey: Maybe we can’t bring them together. Not for any rate increases until we take what we’ve got and get something done in the creeks, etc.

Coffey: Indicates that he cannot support any rate increases of any sort.

Mayor’s communication

England: (To Coffey) I see what your vote is, so now I don’t have to bother …

England: Describes the stormwater utility takeover. Has assigned engineers, not political. Educated people who know what they’re doing. “What we’ve got is picks and shovels.” We’re trying. It’s not anyone’s fault, but it’s all of our fault because the rate is too low. It cannot be done with what we’ve got. Must raise the fee to have enough money to get something fixed. Taxes barely pay for police and fire. Absence of gas money meant paring the street department back. A couple of these rates have not been raised for six to eight years.

No new taxes, no new fees. Fees for services, not taxes. It is a service, not being paid for out of taxes. No new fees, but raising them to where they are effective. Erika spouts off in the rear. She was out front smoking before the meeting.

Work on the creeks wasn’t done. Give us a chance and give us the tools to do something.

Feisty old dude again: “We give you the raise … when are you going to start cleaning them? The guy before you and the woman before that didn’t do anything."

Engineer says he has the documentation to prove they’re working.

Woman says nothing is being done behind her house.

England: Only been on it for a couple months (since EMC was canned). “I resent” some of the things I’ve heard, you can’t “scare me politically.” Faces to the FOX news woman and says that he won't be intimidated by news teams.

England: “You can kick all our asses out in two and a half years.”

Describes the garbage fee disparity. “I didn’t bid these contracts, I inherited these contracts.”

“There’s no free lunches.”

“Think about what’s right for the city.”

Coffey: Giving up a new parking garage is called a “priority.” Always back to the new parking garage. “You don’t take away from another fund.”

England: (sarcastically) “Let’s keep on doing it your way, Dan.”

Benedetti: I had a phone call today from an elderly woman who didn’t understand the fees for the garbage. Would something be able to be done for fixed income people who don’t fill their cans up? Like color the cans differently depending on use?

England: Colored cans, a great idea. Could happen if we make things self-supporting.

Much other talk but I got bored. It transpires that a rep from Got Junk is in the room and says his company can pick up all the yard waste and junk for $1.50 a month. England seems delighted and says they'll look into it.

(end part two)

Odds and ends.

Today the Courier-Journal takes note of the Indiana State Senate’s regrettable passing of a gay marriage ban. Commendably, our own Senator Connie Sipes voted against this latest manifestation of the Christian theocracy's unnecessary lapping against our sinning pagan heels, even if she did so for the wrong (i.e., legalistic objections to the bill’s second clause) reasons.

Good for her, anyway.

It’s also reported that Clark County’s state legislators are asking for five more exceptions to the liquor license quota to aid their push for even more mega-chain restaurants along Veterans Parkway. Somehow peeking through the less than elevated “make-work welfare program for developers like ‘The Gary’ and his ilk” tone of the chamber’s proceedings …

"It's not about alcohol," Rick Dickman, Clarksville's director of economic development, said in an interview. "It's about economic development."

… this stray interjection of common sense was offered:

Members of the House Public Policy Committee acknowledged that problem yesterday. Chairman Trent Van Haaften, D-Mount Vernon, said the committee should consider in the future whether the quota system needs an overhaul.

That’ll be the day. The liquor license quota system is another anachronistic Blue Law that never made sense, and it should be dispatched to the crap heap immediately … as soon as our elected officials are finished depriving Indiana’s gay citizens of their human rights. Perhaps we can issue an appeal to Hugo Chavez for a semblance of justice in this matter.

Turning to New Albany politics, but not turning away from the maladjusted savagery it typically engenders, Freedom to Screech’s crusading, fading and masquerading Professor Erika has resumed her cap gun carpet bombardment of Mayor James Garner. Considering the intensity with which Ms. Denhart is again seeking to malign the incumbent, he must still be considered an electoral threat in spite of challenges from Doug England and Larry Scharlow.

Ah, but wait -- it’s a GOP thang, isn’t it?

Think of the Vickster’s semi-literate barbs as adoring foreplay, to be indulged in full body latex (unless you’re the gambling type) as the city holds its collective breath in preparation of the arrival of Felipe Rose, Karl Rove, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Phyllis Schlafly, Dick Cheney and Scooter Libby’s lawyer to kick off the “Auntie V for Mayor” gala somewhere deep within the Bicknell Bombastic Bunker, after which the ranking doyenne herself will race Slippery Larry Kochert to be the last one signing the clerk’s primary register.

Speaking of scintillating conspiracies, what better way could there be to liven up a dreary winter’s day than a fresh new round of SOLNA finger-pointing? To paraphrase Sir Elton, “from the end of the Luddite Bar & Grill’s graffiti-encrusted urinal to OUR town,” and all of it resting in the discerning hands of the poor man’s Oliver Stone, who promises photographic evidence of hair-curling malfeasance in sanitation land.

Sounds mafia inspired to me. Any jowly goons spotted lately swooning over Federal Hill Café’s homemade marinara sauce?

Stay tuned.

If only the Tribune’s John “He’s not from here, is he?” Tucker would quit asking questions about radio ads, cut the roof cat coverage, and start paying attention to the howling agony of the city’s writhing obstructionists … why, just think of the full investigation that would be possible … and in an election year, no less.