Showing posts with label offenses against taste and decency. Show all posts
Showing posts with label offenses against taste and decency. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

SHANE'S EXCELLENT NEW WORDS: Crimes against language, annoying words and how not to be #blessed.

Welcome to another mind-expanding installment of SHANE'S EXCELLENT NEW WORDS, a regular Wednesday feature at NA Confidential.

Around this time each week, wails of self-flagellation and angst begin seeping out of the bunker's down-low ventilation ducts.

Why all these newfangled words?

Why not the old, familiar, comforting words, the ones that sufficed back during the glory days, long before inexplicably naked greed kicked in like a bond-issue-percentage speedball, knocking you back into the turnbuckles but feeling oh so fine, and now, as the Great Elongated and Exasperated Obfuscator of comic book series fame (can Disney World be far behind?) you teach detailed principles of banking to bankers, at least when not otherwise occupied making healthy deposits into your own account?

Thankfully, even if one toils for the Bright Sun of the 21st Century, a healthy vocabulary isn't about intimidation through erudition. 

No, not at all. Rather, it's about selecting the right word and using it correctly, whatever one's pay grade or station in life.

Even municipal corporate attorneys reaping handsome remuneration to suppress information, squelch community dialogue and flee the council chamber before being forced to endure dissenting words uttered by grubby martini-swilling constituents, can benefit from this enlightening expansion of personal horizons, and really, as we contemplate TIFs, CPIs, IUDs and IOUs, all we really have is time -- and the opportunity to learn something, if we're so inclined.

This week, crimes against language -- and no, I'm not speaking about the New Albany City Hall web page.

Totes annoying: words that should be banned, by Justin Myers (The Guardian)

The internet is the source of many crimes against language – and these are among the worst offenders

We all have a watershed word – the word that tells us it’s all over, that the internet has won, and our youth is gone for ever. For me, it was Yolo, or You Only Live Once. It was born, I used it, and rooms fell eerily silent as soon as it left my mouth. Yolo belonged to the others, the younger people; it carbon-dated me and I was envious.

You might call it snobbery but, for me, every delicious new bit of slang reminds me I’m being left behind, along with VHS cassettes, legwarmers and Lady Gaga. Susie Dent, Countdown’s resident lexicographer, tells me I should lighten up. “Slang has always moved this way,” she says. “From Cockney rhyming slang to codes swapped among highwaymen, they’re tribal badges of identity, bonding mechanisms designed to distinguish the initiated, and to keep strangers out.” The linguist and author David Crystal agrees: “Remember the old maxim – the chief use of slang is to show you’re one of the gang.”

Fine: I’m not one of the gang. But surely even the experts would admit there are some words that urgently need to be retired, or at least restricted to people under 25? “If a term becomes too popular, its irritant value is ramped up,” Dent agrees. “The impulse is then to replace it with something else.”

This, then, is my highly subjective glossary of words that should be binned in 2017 – the most annoying, the most misused, the most broken. Is one of these your “Yolo”? It’s a hotly contested field.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Mondo council Thursday: Documenting a clueless nadir.

Finally, it had ended. I was wrapping up "live" blogging and chatting with Daniel S. as Grace Schneider of the C-J interviewed Paul Haub. The rest of the council stole away fairly quickly after the final flip from the 2nd district.

In fact, the entire council with the sole possible exception of Steve Price (introspection's just not a skill set with him) displayed concluding body language not so much of exhaustion following the three-hour, self-imposed ordeal. It was more like they felt palpably, demonstrably dirty, as though they were walking out of a peep show and checking the parking lot to make sure no one was looking.

I felt bad for the people who came to air their drainage grievances. Led by Dan Coffey, the council spent the evening shrieking about accountability and suggesting that pretty soon, every last line item will have to come before them for approval. To those newbies in attendance, please try to understand that this concern has nothing to do with the council's ability to actually help the drainage situation.

It took decades of zoning and planning and building decisions to bring us to this juncture, and there's not a single person serving at any level of local government who has the ability to wave a magic wand and stop the rain. Not one. However, there are nine council memers who need a vote, and a council president who needs his pudgy finger in every pie that comes across the assembly line, and that's what tonight's inexcusable grandstanding was about.

It was shameful, and almost certainly a new low, but we don't have enough money to invest in measuring device that might determine exactly how low they can go. I hear they use them in the South African diamond mines.

And yet this is NA, a monument of sorts to the art of graceless redneck limbo dancing, and there's always a way to lower oneself even more, as I learned upon exiting the building. Standing outside was the quartet (charitably speaking; they might have two lungs between them) comprising Citizens for Anonybility, including the transgendered, nutty professor herself.

I walked toward Spring Street and home, and heard the palsied poseur's words behind me:

"Boy, I'd like to have my sidewalk paved."

Paved? Asphalt?

I'm not sure about that, Erika -- I mean, Vickie -- but if you invest roughly $750,000 in downtown, you might be able to score some new concrete. Worked for me. You DO have three quarters of a mil, right?

A final note to stay-at-home progressives: This was an offensive, ridiculous evening of bile and parody. Except for Mark Cassidy, who was there, you all owe me a beer, and you ARE GOING TO PAY me.