Primary filing deadline nears, Local parties pitch congressional candidates

The only problem is that there’s no congressional race at play in our 2007 elections.

According to the Republicans, there’s an upcoming opportunity to meet President Bush at Silver Creek High School in a couple of days last October. If the Don Rumsfeld Glee Club doesn’t do it for you, the Democrats are offering up a Cotner for Prosecutor chicken fry on the same day.

As we’ve come to expect from the electoral masochists masquerading as political parties in Floyd County, neither has much to say when it comes to relevant issues.

If they were to outline potentially conflicting ideas now, all the disingenuous glad-handing when their sworn, same-party enemies win the primary might just confuse those lifetime, straight ticket voters enough to engender an outbreak of thinking and we all know none of them have the guts to risk their positions in a highly tuned system of political patronage for that.

One highlight, though, is the absence thus far of the names Coffey and Kochert from the list of candidates. While there’s good chance the queens are simply perfecting their drama or taking turns looking for each other’s good side should a photo op materialize, their allowing us a Zen-like moment to consider their absence from the Council, even if shorter than the time it takes the average reader to realize the irony of Kochert declaring a hiring system that grants his family jobs "too political", may well constitute their first act of genuine public service.

It at least beats their most recent slapping session in The Tribune. After avoiding the fire department hiring issue since late 2005 when it was first sent to Council committee, the modernity-defying duo has settled on blaming each other for a two-week delay.

Never one to shy away from taking up the space of a big kid, CM Price has chimed in, too, proving again that the world is round in the process. If one starts from a proactive point and walks in a straight line backwards for three years, it’s impossible not to eventually return to that proactive point, although it’s apparently more difficult to recognize from the backside.

DICK may be catnapping in the afterglow of masturbatory release, but what we’re dealing with here is constipation. The former typically ends in some sort of enjoyable fashion. I’ll just be glad when this crap’s over.