ASK THE BORED: A bicentennial FOIA reanimates a tale of two city seals.

The series introduction is reprinted below. Unfortunately, today I have an unexpected obligation at 10:30, and I won't be able to ask the bored.

However, let's accomplish two tasks at once.

First, though not pertaining directly to BOW, there is an ongoing matter of housekeeping to resolve.

418 days later, it's obvious that Bob Caesar doesn't care for you to know how the Bicentennial money was spent.

It's now 433 days, but yesterday the city's corporate legal counsel confirmed receiving my Freedom Of Information Act (FOIA) request seeking to rectify Caesar's inability (nay, his mulish unwillingness) to share the record of his committee's fiduciary conduct during the late, unlamented Bicentennial celebration.

I've overlaid the envelope, because there is an interesting contrast.

One design of a city seal on the envelope (in snazzy gold leaf), and another on the letterhead. One of them a steamboat, moving forward, and the other, an anchor sinking heavily into the Ohio River mud flats.

Next week, I'll ask the bored if they can help us understand how the city's new anchor design came into being, and now appears seemingly everywhere ... except on this envelope.

They must have purchased a shitload of those steamboat envelopes in bulk -- but surely we're TIF enough to change them, too? It's all about branding, or at the very least, Gahanding.

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New Albany's Board of Public Works and Safety exists because the State of Indiana says so.

IC 36-4-9-5

Board of public works and safety; establishment Sec. 5.

(a) A board of public works and safety is established in each city.
(b) Notwithstanding subsection (a), the legislative body of a second class city may by ordinance establish as separate boards: (1) a board of public works; and (2) a board of public safety; to perform the functions of the board of public works and safety.

As added by Acts 1980, P.L.212, SEC.3.

As for what the board is supposed to do each Tuesday at 10:00 a.m., you can visit the American Legal Publishing site, search "Board of Public Works and Safety," and sift through various powers accorded the board over the decades by dint of ordinance.

Exactly how much power does our Board of Public Works and Safety possess?

If Jeff Gahan were to stray from the protection of his Down Low Bunker and comment, no doubt he would assert that the board has just the power it needs. He handpicked it, and he's perfectly content to see his program implemented by non-elected boards, as opposed to elected officials.

According to Dan Coffey, the answer surely is "too much." At the city council meeting of June 6, Coffey proposed that our council, as a body made up of elected members, should take back authority ceded to non-elected boards.

Agreed.

The Board of Public Works and Safety may be established by state, not city, and it may be appointed by mayor, not council, but the board's powers appear to derive from the legislative body.

I mention all this as prelude to a new feature at NA Confidential: Ask the Bored.

It has long been NA Confidential's position that given the board's accumulated powers -- justified or  otherwise -- and its current function as arbiter of myriad conditions that impact the lives of citizens, for it to hold all its meetings at 10:00 a.m. on a Tuesday meeting is an affront (note that during the Garner Administration, a fledgling but doomed effort to democratize meeting times was made).

However, NAC can attend many, if not all, meetings. Public speaking time is allowed, and on occasion in the past, we've used it for the precise purpose of making comments, raising issues or asking questions, so that these are included in meeting minutes and become part of the public record. This way, it cannot be claimed later that "no one said anything."

Readers, I know you have questions. Many of you cannot attend these meetings, and so when possible, NAC will ask them for you. Generalized questions probably are best, but give us the brief, and we'll do what we can. Submit them at mayorbaylor@gmail.com ... and ask the bored.

No seals in Czechia: Last night while you were sleeping, we changed the name of our country.

Just one mayoral nod was all it took ...

Where have I heard this before?

A sudden "rebranding" without consultation, without a vote or referendum, followed by unmitigated economic  dishevelment malarkey about temporary "marketing" emblems -- and within months, the unofficial official seal is on every street sign in town.

... to swap seals real quick like.

I'm telling you, if they can change the city seal and saddle us with an anchor in the mud flats, they can change the city's name itself, overnight.

Why do you think I keep referring to New Gahania?

Meanwhile, far, far away in Central Europe, in one of my favorite countries anywhere, it's time for another of these grand rebrandings. The news story is here, but the opinion piece is better.

Changing our country’s name to Czechia won’t solve the problems we face, by
Jakub Patočka (The Guardian)

Rebranding the Czech Republic without consultation has only increased the estrangement between the people and the government

Quite fittingly, the Guardian’s story on the Czech Republic’s attempt to rebrand itself as Czechia opened with a reference to the writer Franz Kafka. For when citizens of the country awoke on Friday morning, they found that things had changed. The announcement that the country’s name was to change came as much as a surprise to the citizens of the Czech Republic as to the rest of the world.

You would think such an important decision would be the result of a broad public debate (just think of the long and complicated process New Zealand went through trying to change its flag) – but this couldn’t be further from the truth.

In a poll conducted by the newspaper Mladá Fronta Dnes in 2013, 16,845 people said they didn’t like the new name, compared with 6,160 who did. The fact that officials think they can impose something like this shows how little respect they have for those that they govern. Even those in favour of the name change feel embarrassed by the way the government has bypassed the public.

But it’s an attitude the people of the Czech Republic will be all too familiar with.

Seems the Ohio River is sad that New Albany is next to it.

Look, all I did was color the lines that already are right there on the city's unofficial official logo.

So, what can we do to put a smile back on that face?

Go to a Tree Board meeting this afternoon, that's what. 

"VOTING to change a city seal? In Nawbony it's done by administrative fiat."

Remember that time when the people of New Albany voted to change the city's seal?

You don't remember?

That's only because it didn't happen.

City Hall's resident Sellersburgian functionary wanted a visual "branding" marker more in keeping with Pillsbury's ignominious departure than the forward progress denoted by a moving steamboat, and so overnight, we embraced the imagery of anchor-in-mud-flats.

Evidently metaphor is not a concept taught during Charles Atlas' economic dishevelment correspondence course. Let's rewind the film to April, 2015 ...

Seals, branding mechanisms and a city anchored into place by sheer dullness of bureaucratic intent.

City Hall don't Google: Just look at all these anchor seals and logos and brands.

Branding mud-struck: Why did the city of New Albany steal Anchor Brewing's seal?

As McLaughlin dozes, Coffey expresses his dislike of fuddy-duddy steamboat seal-bearing visitors.

Thanks to the Bookseller for pointing to this article and providing the title of the post.

I'm Loving It! (TPB)

In a highly proud day for the State of New York, the village of Whitesboro, New York has voted to retain the village seal which appears to show a white man throttling or chocking an Indian. As I said, a proud moment, though village resident Scott Hastings, makes clear that he won't be pushed around. "Political correctness, who cares? This is our village, who cares what the world thinks? I want to see this settled today. Once and for all."

But part of me wonders whether this isn't a more appropriate or at least more historically accurate way of representing the country's and perhaps this village's origins ...

Bullseye: With three primary-eve council resolutions, Kevin Zurschmiede demands accountability from Jeff Gahan.

For Monday night's final city council meeting prior to the conclusion of primary election voting on Tuesday, Dan Coffey has scheduled "Prayer Prattle-Thon: The Sequel," a down home camp meeting designed to reunite the city's errant legislative arm on the rack of bimonthly rote invocations.

Customarily, we'd give this time-wasting idiocy the ritualistic lancing and satirical lampooning it so richly deserves, but not today, because in a well-played tactical thrust, councilman (and Republican mayoral candidate) Kevin Zurschmiede has chosen the very same evening to place Team Gahan on the docket, with three precisely-aimed resolutions, each of which addresses one of City Hall's many recent prominent examples of institutionalized non-transparency.

Of course, given that Coffey has become the most vocal Gahan advocate this side of the mayor's own blood relatives -- to paraphrase POTUS, Gahan and Coffey have gotten so close that some places in Floyds Knobs won't serve them pizza anymore -- the wizard's opportunities for grandstanding and caterwauling in response are endless, and the jokes just write themselves. The three resolutions appear in their entirety below. Here are handy summaries.

R-15-10 On botched appointments to the stormwater and/or sewer boards
R-15-11 On city seals, logos and Dugginsesque branding skittles and doohickey proliferation
R-15-12 On ceasing the hitherto unknown practice of waiving sewer connection fees

Further merriment comes from the fact that 6th district councilman Scott Blair, who has consistently derided council resolutions and refused to vote on them out of principle, also has openly stated his eagerness to vote with Coffey on the latter's vacuous invocation ... resolution.

How will the fundamentally beleaguered denizens of the down-low bunker react to Zurschmiede's resolutions? I think they won't.

At the end of the day, over ice-cold long-necks of soothing light beer at the roadhouse, resolutions are merely symbolic. I expect to see Mike Hall on hand Monday, with perhaps a drive-by on the part of corporate counsel. As for the vote tallies, one wouldn't expect a largely pliant council with a DemoDisneyDixiecratic majority to muster the "yeas" necessary to pass resolutions amounting to censure, introduced by a Republican who's running against their paymaster -- but I'm the sort who values the little things, like a furrowed brow or a barely discernible squirm.

This may require a pre-meeting martini at The Exchange, but only one, please; I must be in shape to ask Bob Caesar why the bicentennial commission financial report I requested last time has yet to appear in my inbox.

R-15-10

R-15-11

R-15-12

The evening's agenda.

City Hall don't Google: Just look at all these anchor seals and logos and brands.

This just keeps getting better.

There are cities ...

And a bank ...

A water sealant product ...

A youth ministry ...

And, of course, a beer.

For platinum-level Team Gahan corporate members, there is now the ultimate in the anchoring of personal loyalties.

But just because New Albany's new anchor-based "Hold Down City" seal is now being seen everywhere, it doesn't mean we're using it, or anything like that.

It's just a BRANDING mechanism.

Get it?

Branding mud-struck: Why did the city of New Albany steal Anchor Brewing's seal?

Branding mud-struck: Why did the city of New Albany steal Anchor Brewing's seal?

There's a definite resemblance. Maybe the legal department should have looked a bit closer before anchoring the city to a new "branding mechanism."

We receive comments, like this one here: Seals, branding mechanisms and a city anchored into place by sheer dullness of bureaucratic intent.

It's sadly fitting they've chosen an anchor as a graphic representation of the city. An anchor fixes a potentially moving object to a place. It gets stuck in the mud and silt and keeps things from moving. That's why it's called an anchor.

This is not a "marketing piece", a "branding image" - it's not a progressive symbol, it doesn't imply a growing and vital city. An anchor? Who designed this?

This is "marketing" just like offering seven MILLION dollars to Pillsbury AFTER they said they they were leaving - that wasn't a "plan to attract businesses to the city" either. Too little and much, much too late.

And another by e-mail.

In going through files recently, I noticed that the city's new "branding logo" has replaced the old city seal on mundane printed things such as the city sewer bill.

I'v also noticed the inclusion of the city's new "branding logo" on the new street signs.

Questions abound:

1) How can the city seal be changed without public discussion and vote by council?

2) Why wasn't someone with real graphic design experience used to create versions of the logo that could be easily seen at various distances or in various uses?

The artwork is much too "thin" and confusing when seen in reverse, at a distance on street signs.

Who designed it, why and at whose request? Was a fee paid?

Sorry, but these questions are disallowed. After all, the new un-seal, as appended to metal and stone objects all across town, is temporary. Only permanent features may be questioned.

But if you persist, try sending smoke signals to the Bored of Works.

Seals, branding mechanisms and a city anchored into place by sheer dullness of bureaucratic intent.

Cult of personality at last night's DemoDisneyDixiecrat gala.

Yesterday afternoon, when the kaka was hitting the fan, and City Hall at long last decided to release concrete information on local beverage vending at Boomtown and the summer concert series, you may have noticed the letterhead.

Looks like an official city seal, doesn't it? And yet, insofar as City Hall On the Down Low has conjured any semblance of a statement on seal swapping, it has denied that a logo now appearing on virtually every city-owned object not capable of fleeing to Birdseye is "official."

As here:

As McLaughlin dozes, Coffey expresses his dislike of fuddy-duddy steamboat seal-bearing visitors.

 ... The city's economic dishevelment facilitator, David Duggins, at long last became interested in the melee, and vaulted forward to volunteer this: The new symbol is a "marketing piece" and "branding mechanism," and not a new official seal.

Branding and marketing. By executive order. Small wonder we remain anchored.

My guess is that the new marketing mechanism was Duggins' idea all along. As a reader pointed out yesterday:

You know, for just being a "marketing tool", that anchor/bridge splat thingy sure acts like it's a city seal ...

If Bob "CeeSaw" Caesar is reading, please be advised that we await the Bicentennial Commission's financial statements as promised during the most recent council meeting.

Until then, here's Vic Megenity to ask a question about seals that almost surely will be stonewalled into oblivion. It's small wonder that Team Gahan has become allergic to two-way streets, as these are disturbing metaphors for two-way communications.

And they show no willingness to do that.

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Concern over steamboat symbol (also available at N & T)

By l850, New Albany became the largest and most important city in Indiana, thanks primarily to its steamboat building.

Of the over 400 steamboats built, the Robert E. Lee was, according to the New Albany Ledger in l866, the grandest ever built. With its Rosewood furniture and crystal chandeliers, it proudly plied the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers until it was destroyed by fire in l882 with the loss of 21 lives. This steamboat had gained national fame by winning its famous race with the Natchez, from New Orleans to St. Louis in l870.

By the late l890s, the city of New Albany commemorated its steamboat building era by making the R.E. Lee its official symbol. That symbol has been prominently displayed with a huge Bruce Fox creation on the front of the City-County Building as well as printed documents and brochures. It was used prominently to celebrate our Centennial Celebration in 1913 and our Bicentennial in 2013.

Several months ago, the city started using a completely different symbol — twin arches with a giant anchor hanging between. That symbol is now used on all city printed material and most recently scores of city street signs have this prominently displayed. No one has been able to explain what this giant anchor represents.

According to the dictionary, it means to prevent movement and to hold fast. Why would anyone want this as a symbol of our city?

The board of directors of the Floyd Count Historical Society recently voted unanimously to keep the historic Robert E. Lee as our city’s official symbol and that was presented to the New Albany City Council on April 6. The council stated it had no input on this change, yet they took no action to make sure this symbol is not lost to history.

We are very alarmed and concerned that this new anchor symbol was apparently created by the mayor’s office without a vote being taken from democratically elected representatives or by involving the public in providing input if it was decided democratically to choose a new symbol. No one could explain to us who, why, where, when or how this symbol was created.

Every citizen of New Albany should be alarmed at the undemocratic method of forcing through this drastic change in our New Albany symbol that has proudly served us for well over 100 years.
The Floyd County Historical Society’s mission is to protect and preserve our rich history. We, therefore, call on all city officials from the mayor to the city council to take immediate steps to restore the Robert E. Lee as our official symbol.

Please do not steal this symbol of our rich history but rather embrace it for future generations.

— Victor Megenity, vice-president, Floyd County Historical Society, New Albany

Now the "anchor" makes sense, but ...

Maybe Irv "borrowed" it. Clean and green, you know.

As McLaughlin dozes, Coffey expresses his dislike of fuddy-duddy steamboat seal-bearing visitors.

At last evening's meeting of the Ayatollah Coffey Prayer Klatsch (ACPK, which sounds remarkably similar to sounds formerly made by Bill the Cat), local historian Vic Megenity sat patiently, awaiting his turn to speak at the very end, when public comments on non-agenda items are permitted.

When his opportunity came, photocopies were distributed as Megenity told the story of the Robert E. Lee steamboat, which was constructed in New Albany in 1866 and is pictured on New Albany's official seal (to the left).

The reason why Megenity attended the meeting is the appearance lately of a new symbol (to the right, above), which recently began appearing on-line, in documents and as affixed to a new generation of street signs.

Here is a color view of the new symbol, which depicts an anchor.

Megenity's point: Why has the perennial symbol been changed? Had the council approved such a change? Was anyone present aware of the reasoning?

And why an anchor, which symbolizes being kept in place, rather than moving forward?

(Amid all this talk of symbols and symbolism, CM Scott Blair was observed shifting uncomfortably in his seat, a banker preferring as always the rock-hard realism of the spreadsheet)

Verily, public speaking time before council is supposed to be exactly that. Members of the public say their piece, without interference, but rare is the time when this actually happens. Like so many others before him, Megenity was not able to complete his remarks last night before being shouted down by Coffey, who commonly is allowed to posture and bully in this manner because Pat McLaughlin, the ostensible presiding officer (and the mayor's designated gatekeeper), is perhaps the single weakest-willed such performer in the council's recent memory.

Thus, we were treated to Coffey caterwauling and foaming at the mouth about his preference for the new symbol, and his back-dated ire at historic preservation constantly standing in the way of his kickbacks from city-ordained demolition specialists, until finally John Gonder intervened to query the obvious: Why has this switcheroo occurred without anyone knowing it?

The city's economic dishevelment facilitator, David Duggins, at long last became interested in the melee, and vaulted forward to volunteer this: The new symbol is a "marketing piece" and "branding mechanism," and not a new official seal.

Branding and marketing. By executive order. Small wonder we remain anchored.

Megenity produced a surviving artifact from the original Robert E. Lee steamboat. It's a bell pull.

Ring the steamboat's bell, and make Dan Coffey drool. The jokes write themselves, don't they, Dr. Pavlov?

Here's the resolution of the historical society; as it is purely symbolic, we can surmise much discomfort in the bean counter's milieu.

Can we find someone to run a meeting efficiently?

Indianapolis firm being paid to inventory city's decrepit street signage.

A friend reports:

Something called VS Engineering has been inventorying signs around the city. I know some in our neighborhood and today they are in yours/mine. Putting serial numbers on some (all?) street signs.

I spotted one of the workers and asked him. All he could say is that his firm is inventorying New Albany street signs to be compiled in a data base. He didn't know why. Perhaps Warren Naps does, given that this project probably emanates from the Bored of Works.

Then there's this:

Beeler & Spring has a new street sign with the city's crest on it. They're pretty full of themselves. 

Why yes, they are, but I haven't had the chance to walk over there and examine. Was it an inlaid variation of this popular recent design?

Or maybe this? After all, it's an election year.

Duct tape.

It makes the city fundamentally better, doesn't it?