Which of these monstrously ugly downtown structures is the worst of all?

Is it this one, where the absentee businessman thumbs his nose at the investments adjacent to his atrocious sheet metal storefront?

Or is it this one, where the rich lawyer thumbs his nose at the investments adjacent to his atrocious dilapidation?

Or is it this one, which looks like the poster for a horror flick?

Not even close, is it?

The blog's junior editor nails it, but you were busy speeding through obliviously.

In the specific context of New Albany, it's noteworthy that so many of the outraged opponents of street calming live elsewhere.

Bluegill summarizes the hypocrisy with typical precision.

I've been speeding through other people's neighborhoods for years; 40 miles per hour plus, right outside their front doors. I can't believe they have the gall after all this time to try to make me slow down. Don't they understand that adding 2.3 minutes to my travel time will destroy the economy and ruin my quality of life? Don't they know the streets in their neighborhoods are supposed to be designed for me and not the people who live there? I mean, how selfish can you get?

One-way? It's the anti-social way, isn't it?

One hundred years ago, autos symbolized freedom. Now they're a tool for oppression, both financial and social -- not that I really expect folks like this to get it.

Here's an idea Irv Stumler won't want to miss: Beautify Tiger Truck Lines, and watch the city squirm.

Last weekend, we walked the Greenway from 18th Street to the Loop Island Wetlands, emerging where Irv Stumler's model local trucking firm parks all of its job creation junk.

• 1. Seemingly useless rubbish which sits around for months and is inevitably disposed of the day before it is needed.
• 2. A reference to something of little or no value
• 3. The male genitalia
• 4. A kind of Chinese boat
• 5. Heroin

Yes, months later, the squalor still aptly symbolizes ...

Tiger Trucking's affectionate "fuck you" to the residents of New Albany.

But we already know that Tiger as a unit is a recurring, discordant and anti-social element, so let's move on to the future of the wetlands and the former Moser tannery.

In recent months, there has been a noticeable uptick in graffiti and vandalism at the former Moser Tannery, and as the missus reminded me when I remarked on this, it's now city-owned property. It's getting gritty down there, with lots of broken glass and debris.

The story of the city's $800k transaction was published in June.

City buys former tannery, evaluating it for future development, by Marty Finley (Louisville Business First)

A former tannery that previously was pegged for redevelopment as apartments has a new owner and its potential uses are being assessed.

The city of New Albany purchased the former Caldwell/Moser Tannery, a four-acre site in New Albany near the Ohio River Greenway.

The city of New Albany has purchased the former Caldwell/Moser Tannery and an adjoining wetlands area near the Ohio River Greenway ...

No media account dealing with New Albany government would be complete without the requisite "he didn't call back" disclaimer.

It was not clear from the release how much of that investment is carried by New Albany. Mayor Jeff Gahan did not return a call seeking comment on the project, and (Mike) Hall was unsure of the amount.

Does he ever? Rest assured, if I were a TIF zone, it'd be time to buy Astroglide in bulk.

The bigger point is this: If Irv's worried about appearances, shouldn't he be actively convincing his pals at Tiger to clean up their act, so the city's adjacent squalor would be set in even greater contrast?

Tiger Trucking's affectionate "fuck you" to the residents of New Albany.

Last week I walked the Greenway from the amphitheater, going east. My exit point was just to the right ...

...of the Loop Island Wetlands sign. Moments before, exiting the Greenway near this inspiring sight ...

 ... a carload of out-of-towners stopped and asked me if the wetlands were near (yes, just over there) and whether it was legal for them to park (yes, on the tannery side as far as I know).

I hadn't seen the sign in the first photo, threatening trespassers with towing, and of course making no effort to explain the situation in coherent detail.

Of course, Tiger's area near the Greenway/Loop Island portal has been an unsightly, trash-ridden disgrace for a long time. But the company doesn't stop there.

Ever since the Main Street beautification project, Tiger has used tiny 13th Street as a de facto company connecting road although urban residential areas.

Throughout, a cowardly City Hall has done nothing. It's hard to determine which entity, Tiger Trucking or City Hall, is capable of greater flights of anti-social behavior. Just now that in the case of Tiger's signage near the Greenway, the confusion and distaste is in the minds of those people coming to visit.

In effect, Tiger is discouraging tourism.

And, as always, Jeff Gahan remains silent, and does absolutely nothing.

New Albany, bicycling, road rage and #GahanFail.

Minnesotans seem to be covering these topics sensibly on a regular basis. In this instance: Auto-centrists have almost every advantage, so why do they get so angry?

Drivers' antagonism toward cyclists termed 'classic prejudiced behavior', by Susan Perry (Minn Post)

... Although cycling is much healthier — both for our health and our pocketbooks — than many people realize, it’s also much more perilous than it needs to be, as Walker stresses in his article.

And a big reason for that has to do with the remarkable level of anger that many people harbor toward cyclists, both in Britain and in the United States.

Anger that, frankly, isn’t explained by the occasional bad behavior of a cyclist who, say, weaves between traffic or doesn’t stop at a red light.

As Walker points out, cyclists are rarely to blame for bike-car accidents.

Can pointy-headed disciplines like sociology and psychology help explain the rage of motorists? Yes, they can, but one must be receptive to the findings.

 ... The debate around cycling occasionally bears comparison with the treatment of so-called societal outgroups, according to Dr. Ian Walker, a psychologist at Bath University. One of his experiments to research attitudes towards cyclists involved riding around his home town wearing a long brunette wig with an electronic distance gauge attached to his bike, to see whether drivers gave female cyclists more overtaking space than men. They did, even when the “woman” was 6 ft tall and, for the drivers who happened to look in their rearview mirror, surprisingly hairy.

“What you see in discourses about cycling is the absolute classic 1960s and 1970s social psychology of prejudice,” he explains. “It’s exactly those things that used to be done about minority ethnic groups and so on — the overgeneralisation of negative traits, under-representation of negative behaviours by one’s own group, that kind of thing. It’s just textbook prejudiced behaviour.”

Such research suggests that the out-of-proportion antagonism directed at cyclists will only abate when the numbers of cyclists on the road (or, better yet, on dedicated cycling paths) increases to some tipping point, and all those angry drivers realize that the cyclists whose lives they’re imperiling are their family members, friends and neighbors.

Empathy versus the need to gain precious milliseconds while texting and wolfing down some DQ?

As it pertains to New Albany, the real point to me goes something like this: If it is deemed in our best interests to re-adapt streets in a multi-modal way to encourage bikes and enhance the experience for pedestrians, then we won't be able to achieve it on the down-low.

Rather, it will require fact-based vision (the research is abundant in favor of Specking-out New Albany yesterday) and firm resolve on the part of elected and appointed officials.

This naturally must begin at the top, with a mayor who can respond coherently and publicly to the splutterings of the enraged, as in this piece:

Let’s Put Those Tired, Anti-Bike Arguments to Rest, by Lindsey Wallace (Streets MN)

It’s inevitable. Every local news article that mentions biking, no matter how fluffy or non-controversial the article, will incite hordes of angry commenters to bring up the same tired, disproven arguments over and over again. It’s time we put those to rest.

Unfortunately, New Albany's weakest link can be found at the apex of the local political patronage chain.

Neither Jeff Gahan nor the local Democratic Party has proven equal to the task of leading in this matter. Gahan himself has yet to embrace a public position on the Speck study, while continuing to shape his private message to the predisposition of the listener -- if you're for it, he's for it, and if you're against it, so is he.

That's simply not good enough, and it's time for progressives to stop accepting Gahan's perennial excuses (when he even bothers making them), and call him out.

Me?

I'm afraid we'll have to let him go.

New Albany's new slogan: "Truck Through City" ... Part 82: With Speck hearings concluded, the Bored of Works can return to fluffing the trucking lobby.

Do you think the Bored of Works will cancel its meeting today?

After all, dozens of appointed city employees currently rove the city, taking advantage of the springtime thaw to plant Team Gahan political yard signs, and so perhaps a functionary like Warren Naps might equip his BOW with sack lunches and work gloves, and join in the effort?

By the way, does anyone know how to file a complaint with the Ethics Commission? Strangely, my inquiries seem to be going unanswered. It's like they've all gone fishin', poles or otherwise.

Now, back to New Albany's biggest tourist attraction: Trucking Porn.

Courtesy of MN

New Albany's new slogan: "Truck Through City" ... Part 81: Bored of Works versus Irv Stumler, no holds barred.

Cisa Barry
Bumped into Irv Stumler today, who was passing out postcards raising questions about the "Missing: Facts about the Street Conversion." After telling him that I am in favor of the street study and proposed conversions he was completely shocked to find out that I had actually read "the whole 110 pages." And here I thought it was a common practice to research something before forming an opinion on it.

Roger A. Baylor
There's as much reason to question Irv's judgment and his sincerity now, in his present jihad against proposals he hasn't read, as when he ran for a mayor as a Democrat in 2011, evidently unaware that a simple web search would show his previous campaign donations to the GOP and the Tea Party. Then as now, he believes we're stupid. Then as now, we're not. The result is Irv embarrassing himself, and that's just sad.

Jeff Gillenwater
Irv is probably surprised to learn that young women read. If you want some real fun, take a look at the "studies' they're touting on Stumler's NewAlbany4All (except people who actually read) site. Roger's last three sentences couldn't be more apropos. Chris Morris should be writing editorials about just how far Stumler and crew will go in trying to mislead the public.

New Albany's new slogan: "Truck Through City" ... Part 80: It's our weekly melted sing-along with the Bored of Works.

As Warren Naps, this week's question for the Bored comes from reader K, via Facebook.

Dear City of New Albany,

I just watched one of your ambulances hurrying, with lights on, down Old Ford Rd. They had to turn around because it is flooded at Armstrong Bend. Some signage at Slate Run Rd and Charlestown Rd would facilitate emergency services and also eliminate the frustrated drivers from having to turn around in my driveway while they try to utilize my residential street as a convenient short cut. Roger, do you know who to tag? Thanks. This will probably last a few weeks. The city put up barricades and high water signs close to the hazard. They ought to notify others before they go half a mile down the road ...

Just when I think I've heard it all, K, but you know how it works (or not) here in Na Na Land. However, based on the board's recent reaction to snow and sidewalks ...

... it's my guess that Warren and the Board of Works will locate a non-existent ordinance and say it's YOUR responsibility to notify drivers of detours. Please purchase the signs locally.

Meanwhile, there are trucks.

New Albany's new slogan: "Truck Through City" ... Part 79: Bored of Works duty arousal duly begins now.

Last week, chirpy chairman Warren Naps skillfully guided the Bored of Works through a difficult digression about civic sidewalk irresponsibility, and as we continue to search in vain for the specific city ordinance being referenced -- it may well have been mistaken for a house, demolished and taken to the landfill -- here are a few kilt-lifting, cheesecake photos of the heavy machines that dictate the pace of life in New Albany.

Check it out, Warren ... it's an oversized load.

But I thought these oversize loads were supposed to have escorts with flashing lights? Maybe they just forgot.

It's a little known fact, but as consistently revealed in surveys of visitors to New Albany, one of the most sought-after photo ops are those fortunate times when speeding J & J Pallet trucks provide helpful modernistic contrast to historic church architecture. People just love it. It's positively artistic -- right, Irv?

Wait, how'd that dump truck get in there?

Ah, now this is more like the usual view of Tiger Trucking, speedily extracting value from Matt Chalfant's downtown urban investment ... and providing the Bored of Works and Irv Stumler alike with a daily allotment of pure metallic Jollies.

Until next time, don't forget: In New Albany, you NEVER really have to leave the interstate.

Yesterday at NAC:

Why is Jeff Gahan terrified of publicly supporting Speck? Leadership, anyone?

New Albany's new slogan: "Truck Through City" ... Part 78: Bored of Works? So are they.

Look -- there goes a Padgett truck with lights flashing, but without "wide load" markings or an escort vehicle. I suppose we are to surmise that the load isn't wide, but it sure is long; he made a honking big turn coming onto Spring Street, down Padgett's private access road (sometimes referred to as 4th Street, which at last glance was owned by the city).

Sorry. I might make Warren Naps's head explode this early on a Tuesday. Following are some snowy views of those without which (or so we were informed on Saturday) there'd be no tax revenue at all in New Albany.

New Albany's new slogan: "Truck Through City" ... Part 77: Narcissus, Padgett, the Bored of Works and Us.

Last week Warren Napped while the Bored of Works listened as a representative of Padgett spoke of the sheer cosmic importance of Padgett.

See also: Narcissus (mythology)

This week city employees are hard at work coping with the Great White Death, and so we're giving the Bored of Works a snow day, but not before making the point that not unlike rust, street maulers never sleep.

Photo credit: J

Can you see this Tiger Truck operator giving me the finger? His ire is misplaced, because foot soldiers and shop floor workers have jobs to do. It's their companies that are poorly placed amid a revolution of rising expectations ... although neither Narcissus nor Padgett seem to have noticed.

New Albany's new slogan: "Truck Through City" ... Part 76: Timing the backward regress of our Bored of Works.

This is the speed of a food delivery truck moving through a 25 mph zone on Spring Street, but there's more: The 20 mph yellow lights were flashing by the former St. Mary's school.

My Valentine Day's gift is dedicated to Warren Naps and the Bored of Public Works.

Bushnell Velocity Speed Gun (Colors may vary), by Bushnell

• An easy point-and-shoot speed gun with +/- 1.0 MPH accuracy.
• Can track speed from 10 feet up to 110 MPH.
• Large, clear LCD display.
• Displays fastest speed once trigger is released.
• Measures 4.3 x 8.4 x 6 inches (W x H x D); 2-year warranty

See, they're not all bad. What you begin to notice are general patterns. For instance, traffic coming across the railroad tracks at 15th Street when the light there is green tend to travel at 5 - 7 mph higher than waves of cars stopped by the light.

The same goes for the biggest trucks, although so far, it appears that the smaller delivery trucks and dump trucks travel faster, all around.

If a vehicle crosses Vincennes eastbound on Spring and misses the stop light at 15th, it's another eight blocks before another stop light is encountered. It means they're reaching maximum speed as they approach St. Mary's.

This convoy of state vehicles was moving at moderate speeds. You'd think government vehicles would always be in compliance.

It's a different reading than the one shown at top, recorded in a 38 mph zone. We might plausibly ask: If the Bored of Works took care to fluff Main Street sensibilities with a 25 mph limit ... then why not 25 mph in THIS residential area?

Or, better yet: SPEEDING IS A DESIGN ISSUE, NOT AN ENFORCEMENT ISSUE. Two-way streets and traffic calming NOW, not later.

Ah, yes; the temper tantrums of our trucking cadres.

Whether Tiger, Padgett, J & J, CCE or so many others, the simple fact remains that for decades, they've run roughshod as they pleased. Thanks to cheap downtown properties, they've remained stuck in an industrial manufacturing economic model, which is utterly incompatible with any economic model designed to provide New Albany with a viable future in this day and age. As with slum lords, we've let them have their way, because we were too dense to conceive of other futures.

They're now behaving like bawling children. Speck's gonna take their extractive rattles away -- and someone's gonna pay, damn it!

Except that Speck barely mentions trucks.

There has been no suggestion of bans or truck routes. Rather, it has been suggested that we reconfigure our streets for the benefit of all users, not just a few. Trucks would have to move more slowly. That's about it.

And these companies are mad as hell that anyone would so much as suggest that they share responsibility for a civil society.

New Albany.

Are we about trucks -- or are we about people?