Warren Nash blames the county for his hemorrhoids ... and the GREEN MOUSE presents NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW.

Most of us spent the holiday weekend watching the COVID deniers merrily clustering together, which would be encouraging from a herd-thinning standpoint if it weren't hazardous for the rest of us.

By week's end yet another police atrocity against non-white Americans occurred, this time the murder of a black man in Minneapolis. This act of state-sanctioned violence prompted the usual defense of property rights and obliviousness to human life, both emanating from the very same three-percenters and their "penis proxies."

Here's a useful article that helps explain this cognitive dissonance, and you can be sure that it won't be linked at the city's web site any time soon.

When intolerant white people fear democracy may benefit marginalized people, they abandon their commitment to democracy.

Consequently, it's been a slow news week in New Albany apart from another instance of Jeff Gahan taking credit for someone else's investment: Here come the tax abatements for Northwest Ordinance Distilling.

We were forced to make do with other forms of entertainment, which the city's worst-ever former mayor provided at Facebook.

Warren, is it supposed to rain today? THE COUNTY GUVMINT DUNNIT!

Okay, but Warren, which pair is better, the original Duke boys or those one-season replacements? IT'S ALL THE COUNTY'S FAULT!

Um, okay. Do you have a nice recipe for barbecued bologna? MAKE COUNTY GUVMINT PAY FOR IT!

Admittedly it was a bit much for me to see Warren Nash state publicly that he doesn't block others on social media. Commendable, although he's conveniently forgetting the bigger issue of his beloved DemoDisneyDixiecrats, their flimsy respect for dialogue, and their equally squalid habit of squelching perceived dissent.

The full thread is here, and if you're interested in the gory details of the perennial party gutlessness, of which Warren is a functional and participating component ...

The Adamite Chronicles: Have muzzle, will drivel.

I haven’t stopped laughing since then. At precisely this pivotal moment of inexorably changing mathematics, when the Floyd County Democratic Party might have initiated an honest dialogue with its long-neglected left wing – as inhabited by genuine non-Dixiecratic Democrats and a formerly reliable but rapidly disillusioned cohort of left-leaning fellow travelers – for succor, it has chosen instead to espouse censorship and express its abiding hostility to ideas.

Can you even imagine Warren Nash, Adam Dickey or Jeff Gahan tending a stall at the marketplace of ideas?

Empty shelves ... or empty selves?

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There were a few headlines of note this week.

Pints&union is taking a staycation this week, returning Tuesday 9 June.

In a nutshell, all the factors combining to make Pints&union an intimate, personable pub prior to COVID now militate against viable reopening strategies, not to mention our belief that the reopening is premature to begin with.

For at least so long as the state of Indiana maintains a relaxation of regulations for the greater good of pandemic recovery, there is an answer outside, beyond the doorways of ALL small independent businesses, not only food and drink.

It's time right now for City Hall to use our public spaces for COVID recovery.

Can City Hall conceive of such a thing without commissioning months of expensive studies from donor engineering and design firms?

In closing, Memorial Day 2020 likely will be remembered locally as the day we lost Lee Kelly, a true legend and sporting icon.

I turned my column space over to "not me" precisely because Matt's 2013 newspaper piece honoring Lee's retirement from teaching made for the finest of eulogies, in the sense that hundreds of thousands of daily interactions with thousands of students over a period of 40 years are the truest measure of Lee's substantial legacy. 

ON THE AVENUES: The late, great Lee Kelly -- by Matt Nash.

Have you been wondering about Harvest Homecoming in a time of social distancing? So has the Green Mouse. Maybe next week he'll put a cork in that bottle and start asking questions.

ON THE AVENUES: The late, great Lee Kelly -- by Matt Nash.

Lewie Stevens, Lee Kelly, John Dougherty
and Kent Sterling (1978-1980).

A few years later, minus Stevens.

On Tuesday the NA Confidential blog observed a day of silence in honor of Lee Kelly, who died on Monday. It seemed the best way; for one day, I'd shut up and observe what everyone else was saying about Lee's impact on their lives.

• At WNAS radio, always first and foremost.
• At the News and Tribune.
• At the Indianapolis Star.
• At the website of former NAHS student and Indy sports broadcaster Kent Sterling.
• At WDRB, a tribute written by Rick Bozich.
• At sportswriter Pat Forde's Twitter account.

And also by Matt Nash, with whom I share the periodically odoriferous distinction of being a former New Albany Tribune/News and Tribune columnist. Upon Lee's retirement in May of 2013, Matt recorded his thoughts, and has given me permission to repeat them here.

Matt's essay obviously was not intended as a eulogy, and that's why it's perfect. Lee's retirement proved to be all too short, and that's profoundly sad, but he also made a difference in the lives of hundreds, probably thousands of people. They'll remember Lee for the very same experiences Matt writes about here, and it's the accumulation of these little things that make up the best curtain call of all.

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NASH: The voice of the Bulldogs, by Matthew Nash (May 31, 2013)

When the final school bell rang at New Albany High School on the 2013 term, another legendary teacher left the building for the final time. He had a profound impact on me as a student and one of the few teachers that when I see them out in the community, I want to go up and engage him in conversation.

Next year someone new will come and take over at WNAS radio, but it will not be the same now that Lee Kelly has decided to hang up the microphone.

It is not an exaggeration when I say that I may not have made it through high school without his class and I am a better person for having him as an instructor. I was a kid that had a lot of potential when it came to studies, but I didn’t always apply myself as much as I could. A lot of the classes I took I thought were boring and did not interest me until I discovered radio. Although I did not pursue a career in broadcasting, I feel like that class helped me in many aspects of my life including writing this column every week.

I still remember the first day of class my junior year of high school. I had radio class second period and walking into the “station” back then was a little intimidating. The class was a mix of experienced seniors and the new juniors that all had to audition the year earlier in order to get in. As you walked into the suite of rooms that held the offices, transmitter, television production, editing and television and radio studios, you no longer felt like you were in the same building as the other 1,200 or so students in high school. You were part of something special.

At the top of every hour you were required to say what is called the “station identification.” Everyone has heard it a million times; it’s just so common we don’t seem to notice anymore. The “station identification” consist of the call letters and the city of license. The FCC requires all broadcast stations, television and radio to announce this as close to the top of every hour as possible. Mr. Kelly’s first job was to teach all new students how to pronounce it properly. Nearly everyone on first try would say dubya N-A-S when the correct way to say it is “double U” N-A-S.

Mr. Kelly helped with my interest in politics as part of our radio/television class. In conjunction with Mr. Dusch’s government class, we invited candidates to come and tape statements to play on the local cable station. It is still a huge part of local elections. I was a big part of that in my two years in his class and I later returned to tape my own segment when I ran for county council several years back. That was in the same studio that I used when I was a student with much of the same equipment. Construction had begun on the new studio and Mr. Kelly took the time to take me to the studio that was being built that they would move into the following year.

Back then Mr. Kelly planned and chaperoned a spring break field trip to New York City every couple of years. Looking back it must have taken a lot of guts to take a bus load of 17- and 18-year-olds to The Big Apple like that. I was part of the group back in 1987 and I still have many fond memories. Besides seeing the usual sights we saw two Broadway plays, “A Chorus Line” was in the middle of its record run and Neil Simon’s “Broadway Bound” — the third part of his semi-autobiographical trilogy staring Linda Lavin and Jonathon Silverman. We also caught a glimpse of Morgan Fairchild during a tour of the NBC building “Thirty Rock.”

We were able to see how a television show was produced when we got up early one day and went and saw “The CBS Morning Program.” Back then Mariette Hartley was the host and Mark McEwen was the weatherman. A pre “Full House” Bob Saget had a comedy segment in that program and warmed up the audience before the show. Recognizing that everyone was wearing our station logo sweatshirts he started a conversation with members of our group. He even joked with one of our other chaperones about how unfortunate it was to be a teacher with a name that was phonetically the same as a feminine hygiene product.

When I was in grade school we would listen for our favorite song on WNAS and even called the request line to hear it. We would wake up in the winter when there was snow on the ground to hear Mr. Kelly tell us whether or not school was in session during his “Coffee with Kelly” morning broadcast. For years before high school I would listen to him announce basketball on 88.1 and still do to this day especially during tournament time. Following Bulldog football and basketball will not be the same now that Lee Kelly has retired.

The moniker “Voice of the Bulldogs” was given to the radio station many years ago. I believe that it should be permanently retired along with Mr. Kelly as a tribute to his years of service to the radio station, the school and to our community.

I wish Mr. Kelly all the best during his much deserved retirement. With his voice I am sure he could have had any job he wanted in broadcasting and made as much money as he needed. He chose to teach high school and was able to touch thousands of lives over his 40 years at WNAS New Albany. I am a better person for having him as a teacher and proud to call him a friend.

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Recent columns:

May 21: ON THE AVENUES: Godlessness in defense of heathens, infidels, idolaters, atheists, non-theists, irreligious people, agnostics, skeptics, heretics and apostates.

May 14: ON THE AVENUES: Food is my friend, but please, I'm no foodie.

May 7: ON THE AVENUES: COVID tolls for thee -- whatever, so hurry and get your ass back into this seat.

April 30: ON THE AVENUES: A week that was wooden like Pinocchio and dry as an unused water park or an unfilled glass.

Nash on Lee Kelly: The voice of the Bulldogs.

In days of yore, Lee Kelly was required to begin his day at Floyd Central High School, where the radio department was an afterthought located in a tiny space, and the class was offered only during first period.

Lee would leave after class and commute back to New Albany High School during his "open" period. Given my proclivities for finding creative ways of avoiding class, there were times I didn't see very much of Lee, but nonetheless, the experience was enlightening, and the basis for a lifelong friendship.

Matt's essay is wonderful, because Lee is one of the great guys and an iconic figure in this town. I hope he enjoys retirement. Lee, if you're reading, how about that ballgame we keep talking about attending?

NASH: The voice of the Bulldogs, by Matthew Nash (N and T)

 ... The moniker “Voice of the Bulldogs” was given to the radio station many years ago. I believe that it should be permanently retired along with Mr. Kelly as a tribute to his years of service to the radio station, the school and to our community.

I wish Mr. Kelly all the best during his much deserved retirement. With his voice I am sure he could have had any job he wanted in broadcasting and made as much money as he needed. He chose to teach high school and was able to touch thousands of lives over his 40 years at WNAS New Albany. I am a better person for having him as a teacher and proud to call him a friend.

Josh Kelly memorial and fundraiser is on Saturday, September 25.

I did not know Josh Kelly, who died on August 21 at the age of 28, but my heart remains heavy at the news.

I've known his father, Lee Kelly, since before Josh was born, and the longtime New Albany High School teacher, and director of the WNAS radio and television programs there, was a huge influence on me during formative times. I'll admit to being somewhat less than a stellar student back when Lee drove up the hill to teach one radio section at Floyd Central. Both then, and during the years afterward, Lee taught me a great deal about life. I'm grateful for that, and now, these many years later, I grieve for the family's loss.

Not unexpectedly, Josh had many friends, and quite a few of them are patrons of one or the other NABC location. They're planning a softball tournament this coming Saturday, September 25, as a memorial and fundraiser for Josh Kelly.

Also, Eric Norrington has set up this portal for donations: The Kelly Family Fund.

Remember, consider taking part, and please donate. NABC will be offering a portion of the proceeds at Saturday's Strassenfest to the cause.