Council Kick-Dat-Can: Looks like someone wants to open an opiate addiction treatment clinic in the 3rd council district. Could you please use your drugs out in the county?

Tonight there's a city council meeting. Maybe I'll go this time. I'd like to see Coffey wearing his "Make America Hate Again" button.

Do they offer them in beanies?

Reading between the lines ... because we're about to advance the cause of comprehensive planning by packing an advisory board with yes-men and functionaries unable to "plan" their way through a wet beer label, there must be a moratorium on the establishment of clinics dealing with opiate addiction, at least until such a time as the comprehensive luminaries establish which beaks are to be wetted by which subterranean sluices of campaign finance enhancement (Opiate Clinic Section), this delay coming at a high tide of local opiate addition, but Hunter S. Thompson had Richard M. Nixon say, "Fuck the doomed," and as Mayor Jeff Gahan once remarked about the impoverished among us ... say, can't we just dump them out in the county somewhere?

They'll still vote Democratic, right? And then Seabrook can take care of them.

The resolution reproduced above is credited to Greg Phipps, which may be because whatever opiate addiction clinic is being proposed will land in his district, or owing to the luck of the "introduce this ordinance" draw, or even as an insider joke played by Paddy Mac, so the biggest unanswered question is whether the Scott Blair Resolution Vote Coin Flip will result in an actual vote (gasp) or another abstention on the basis of "none of my business except when it is, according to criteria so obscure that even Dr. Strange couldn't decipher them."

If the opiate addiction clinic sure to have been mentioned somewhere in a back corridor is to be located in Blair's council district, the answer should be obvious:

Resolutions. Good!

At least he has the Rice Bowl. Wake me when it's over, will you? The Green Mouse is on holiday this week, aiming to prove whether it is possible to get drunk enough to endure Wednesday morning.

A sharrows symbol might as well be the Mark of Blithering Idiot on Jeff Gahan's forehead.

Here's what we know, to date. It's isn't pretty.

1. Mayor Jeff Gahan has spent millions of dollars on park units connected to each other not by walking or bicycling infrastructure, but by roads intended for use solely by cars. These roads require constant upkeep and paving, which in turn provide numerous conduits for campaign finance sluicing, but you already knew this.

2. Whenever "safety" is used as a mantra for street grid change, however fleeting and incremental, it is a dog whistle intended to describe conditions for motorists, not walkers or cyclists, because they're incidental in the grand scheme of beak-wetting.

3. During five years in office, all Gahan has done to guard against the eventuality of toll dodging is implement a grotesquely ballyhooed road diet on Spring between Vincennes and Beharrell, describe it in terms exclusive to automotive "safety", build no bicycle infrastructure whatever between Beharrell and Silver, then draw a few scant sharrow symbols on the pavement and create unprotected bike lanes from Silver to Vincennes, after which they continue ineffectively and still unprotected along high-speed, one-way Spring until petering out downtown.

4. None of these existing bike lanes are connected to any other, or to a park, or to the city's downtown commercial area, or evince any design of being connected to anything, now or in the future. They begin and end nowhere, and not once has a city planner ever revealed a comprehensive design that might convince us otherwise -- when they've bothered to answer questions at all.

5. Insofar as consultant Jeff Speck recommended protected bike lanes throughout the street grid as part of converting one-way streets to two-way traffic, 95% of his recommendations were tossed from the grandiosely tagged "Downtown Grid Modernization Project" in what might be termed as a late-term abortion.

6. While hideous, HWC Engineering's recasting of Speck's downtown street network proposal didn't materialize from the ether. It came at the behest of Gahan and the usual timer-serving suspects among city officials, among them David Duggins, the city's presumed economic development director, whose wife works for HWC, seeing as nepotism is job one with Gahan and not proposals representing genuine progress (see "beak-wetting" above).

7. And, just for the hell of it, if the opportunity presents itself to reduce shade along this botched and unrealized street grid by felling trees, Gahan's stellar team of suburbanites does this first, then insists that in spite of the absence of evidence to the contrary, far more trees are being planted than clear-cut. When we ask for the evidence, we're told that the poor, underfunded Tree Board can only do so much.

Think about the preceding.

Then consider that the very same time-serving paycheck endorsers instituting street grid mayhem as outlined above presently are seated on a steering committee to write a Comprehensive Plan to carry the city forward two whole decades.

To more of the same?

Who are you going to believe, John Rosenbarger or your own two eyes?

Today's photos are courtesy of Bicycle Lobby, on Twitter here.

Recent documentation of conditions in the civic asylum:

WITHIN CITY LIMITS: Episode XII, How Do I Join the New Albany Planning Committee?

The composition of Jeff Gahan's comprehensive plan steering committee guarantees yet another business-as-usual silo, and compels me to vomit.

New Albany's new Comprehensive Plan to be happily midwifed by precisely the same old suspects.

Jeff Speck on HWC Engineering's bicycle-free, two-way streets abortion: "I guess that's what you get when you ask engineers who do not value biking to change a plan."

WITHIN CITY LIMITS: Episode XII, How Do I Join the New Albany Planning Committee?

WITHIN CITY LIMITS: Episode XII, How Do I Join the New Albany Planning Committee?

By Nick Vaughn, Guest Columnist

For those of you who may not know, there is a new planning committee in New Albany tasked with developing a plan for what New Albany can look like in 20 years. Does this sound familiar? It should. When I was running for City Council I created my Vision Outline for New Albany. I dreamt of a land that had renter registration, anti-poverty initiatives, incentives to bring jobs back to New Albany, and a land where unelected boards did not will their power unchecked by elected officials. So, if I have a plan, how do I join this planning committee?

Does it surprise anyone, though? Not a single average, everyday New Albanian is represented on this new committee let alone a young person who might actually have a vested interest in steering the city in a direction that will allow young people to flourish. It is important for prominent New Albany businesses to be represented on this committee and I guess some outside businesses as well, however, it makes zero sense as to why there is no true resident representation on this committee. This is especially ironic because the 20 year plan will affect those who reside and own a home or rent here in New Albany most likely before it affects a business or commercial property owner.

Unsurprisingly, the means in which this committee was chosen is completely in the dark and kept away from the people of New Albany who have a right to know who will be making a 20 year plan for their city. Of course, this non-transparency just fits the narrative of the Gahan Administration as well as a go-along-to-get-along, Democratic Majority City Council. How were these people chosen? Who chose them? Why were they chosen? Why does the City Council have no oversight? Is the City Council going to be represented? In my experience, a committee or government entity that has more questions asked about it than can be answered is a committee or government entity that I don’t want representing my interests.

The largest question, though, might be how much power does this committee have over the people of New Albany? None of the members, to my knowledge, have been voted into their position by the people, the City Council did not confirm these committee members, so does this committee even hold any meaningful power?

Before anything else, this committee needs to appoint some citizens, young, old, and in between. If they do not I cannot see how they can possibly be able to effectively steer the community in a direction that will benefit the citizens. As of right now, the only benefit that could come from this committee would be more crony capitalism propagated by City Hall where unelected bureaucrats pick the winners and losers of the New Albany economy. That is not what New Albany needs, we need a citizen-oriented committee who will create a 20 year plan of not only economic prosperity but also community change where someone isn’t afraid to let their kids play in their front yard and where a near quarter of the population can’t afford to make ends meet.

Furthermore, this committee, since it is creating a plan for the future, should have young adult members. Young people are the future of New Albany and whether we can retain them or not will prove to be the crucial task for our community over the next 10 years. Young people don’t just want a place to play, they want a place to live and potentially raise a family. New Albany, unfortunately, only offers a playground for the upper middle to upper class people with money to spend. We do not currently have an effective climate for the up-and-coming young entrepreneur or young lawyer, etc.

If we do not get some young people on this committee then our 20 year plan will be for nothing. We will continue to lose young professionals to Indianapolis, Jeffersonville, and Louisville and continue to have a city seen as a playground by some but a socioeconomically segregated city by those not predisposed to success by means of birth. This is a sad truth that doesn't have to be.

The composition of Jeff Gahan's comprehensive plan steering committee guarantees yet another business-as-usual silo, and compels me to vomit.

The gang that can't shoot (or think) straight now seeks to institutionalize the incomprehension so that future generations of New Albanians can suffer just as readily as we are.

Mighty nice of them. The plaques probably are being stamped as we retch.

New Albany's new Comprehensive Plan to be happily midwifed by precisely the same old suspects.

And you think I'm kidding when I refer to this asylum as New Gahania?

The C-J's Madeleine Winer has updated her story to include comprehensive plan steering committee members, and here they are.

Members of the New Albany Comprehensive Plan Steering Committee

►Matt Chalfant, developer & owner of Chalfant Industries

►Wendy Dant Chesser, director of One Southern Indiana

►Corey Hughes, developer & real estate manager with Hughes Group

►Bill Wisehart, Director of Facilities for New Albany-Floyd County Schools

►Bob Norwood, New Albany Plan Commission President

►David Duggins, New Albany Director of Economic Development

►Ed Snelling, President of New Albany Elks Lodge #270

►Irving Joshua, New Albany Redevelopment Commission President

►John Rosenbarger, New Albany Public Facilities Director

►Larry Summers, New Albany City Engineer

►Paul Kiger, Realtor

►Rich Robinson, Develop New Albany

►Shane Gibson, Attorney for the City of New Albany

Two or three decent eggs, but not a single truly independent voice. It's the usual pay-to-play suspects and insider "economic development" yes-men. Think of it as a road map for partisan political payola from now until doomsday

Our friend Stephen adds this precise analysis:

It strikes me as odd, inappropriate, disappointing, insulting, thoughtless and more that a committee appointed to work on a comprehensive plan for the City of New Albany includes individuals who do not live in the city. At least one resides in another county. Impacts on this city's future need to be made by city residents. If they can't live here, they have no business "representing" those of us who do.

Jeff Gahan is remaking New Albany according to his "vision," and this should scare you far worse than Donald versus Hillary.

New Albany's new Comprehensive Plan to be happily midwifed by precisely the same old suspects.

I don't enjoy being the deliverer of Halloween nightmares.

Wait a minute -- yes I do.

New Albany drafting new city plan, by Madeleine Winer (Courier-Journal)

New Albany is asking for input on what its next 20 years of development will look like.

The city has started drafting a new comprehensive plan, which plots what improvements in transportation, housing, infrastructure and overall quality of life it would like to make over the next two decades. So far, the city worked with an engineering and development firm to create a rough draft of the plan and has hosted stakeholder and focus group meetings, said city spokesman Mike Hall.

“The comprehensive plan is a guiding tool and reference that we can use to help move New Albany forward for years to come," said Mayor Jeff Gahan in a statement. "By working together, we can ensure that we make New Albany the best city it can be for all of us, and we can work towards making our shared vision a reality."

Leading the plan's formation is a 13-person steering committee, consisting mainly of city officials, developers and redevelopment representatives. Engineering firms Bean Longest and Neff and HWC Engineers, both based out of Indianapolis, were hired to draft the plan. Both firms have also been hired to work on other city projects including converting some its one-way streets to two-way roads and the Mt. Tabor road restoration project.

Maybe this part will help you feel better.

Wendy Dant Chessler, steering committee member and president and CEO of One Southern Indiana, said her role on the committee is to think about what businesses' needs will be in the future and what development areas the city can help with. One Southern Indiana is the Chamber of Commerce for Clark and Floyd Counties with a good portion of its members with businesses in New Albany, she said.

"It gives us a clearer picture of what the community wants," she said, "and we figure out from there who to market it to to get those types of companies."

She said a big part of the plan is its zoning, which will determine what types of development can be built in certain areas of the city.

Apart from One Southern Indiana's familiar role as hen house fox with open palms, there's a familiar scorecard to update.

HWC Engineering: Gutted the Speck two-way plan ... remains the employer of the economic development director's wife ... now charged with writing a new comprehensive plan derived from the boilerplate input of the same old suspects.

And you think I'm kidding when I refer to this asylum as New Gahania?

There's nothing like six whole days notice, but: "We Want Your Input on the City's Comprehensive Plan!"

And with the requisite and breathless exclamation mark, no less.

Sigh. I suppose I'll go. Will it matter?

---

We Want Your Input on the City's Comprehensive Plan!

The City of New Albany is currently updating its comprehensive plan, and we need your help and input!

What is a comprehensive plan?

The City of New Albany's comprehensive plan will help form a long-term vision for the community, looking at aspects such as economic development, growth and land use, housing, transportation, utilities, and quality of life.

How can you help?

As part of the comprehensive plan process, the City will be hosting a public workshop where residents are invited to attend and provide input and discuss priorities for the comprehensive plan.

When and where is the Public Workshop?

The workshop will be held Wednesday, September 28th at the Calumet Club (1614 East Spring Street). The workshop begins at 6 p.m.

An invitation from Mayor Gahan:

"I'd like to personally invite you to attend our comprehensive plan public workshop. This is a valuable opportunity to share your thoughts with us about how you would like to see New Albany moving forward over the next few years. By working together, we can ensure that we make New Albany the best city it can be for all of us, and we can work towards making our shared vision a reality."