GREEN MOUSE presents NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW for 31 January 2020.

Substitute Brown's Station Way for Eastern Parkway for Nawbany's two-way street project, and the anguished wailing of drivers is almost louder than the massed roar of their cars, but the thing that amazes me each time is the reluctance of the general populace to avail themselves of this "internet" thingy and EDUCATE THEMSELVES (egads) as to why, god, oh why would anyone try to slow me down?

My question is slightly different: Why oh why are people like me always expected to guide people like you by the hand like little children and explain these matters?

Now, where was I?

First, a reminder that only two days remain ... today and tomorrow ... to snatch a few bargains during the bookstore's winding down.

The final business day for Destinations Booksellers is Saturday, February 1. Go there and buy books.

It was a slow news week in New Albany, but the Green Mouse got nicely limbered up by week's end.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Not so fast on Form G's Centenary church PR vaporware.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: It turns out the "G" in Form G stands for "Groper."

It comes down to this: When the local power elites begin self-deification and blatant propagandizing about a "done deal" about which no one has bothered to inform the property sellers, then there's more to the story than is being reported.

Too bad we don't have a newspaper.

For our "Photo of the Week," we find the mayor lecturing dejected captive scouts about his favorite topic.

This week's coveted Warren V. Nash Ineptitude in Agitprop Trophy goes to the city's Facebook feed and this wonderful gem from Tuesday.

"Place your order online or inside at one of the kiosks," reads the breathless blurb, as if it falls to the city to write blatant advertising copy for a chain restaurant.

Besides, as others quickly pointed out, these kiosks are designed expressly to remove the need for human beings as employees, thus rendering the "creating jobs" argument into just the same old economic dishevelment boilerplate.

Finally, to celebrate the 150th anniversary of the city attorney's grip on bodacious bond bonuses, we're returning to weekly wordplay.

The return of SHANE'S EXCELLENT NEW WORDS: Sycophants and other brown-nosing spaniels.

We'll be back next week with another installment of Nawbany Week in Review as a new month begins in Year Nine of the Chronicles of New Gahania.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: It turns out the "G" in Form G stands for "Groper."

Image credit: WAVE 3 News.

Earlier today the Green Mouse was roused from a raging three-week-long bender to consider Form G's "redevelopment" vaporware at the vacant Centenary church in downtown New Albany.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Not so fast on Form G's Centenary church PR vaporware.

But it gets even better. As the Mouse po(u)red over old notes, he found one of his own e-mail links from last September, which apparently got lost in the pre-election scrum.

Man in spotlight for TV kiss is local real estate executive, by Marty Finley (Louisville Business First)

Eric Goodman, founder and CEO of Form G Companies, has apologized for kissing a WAVE-TV news reporter on live television. The incident has made national headlines.

The man in the middle of controversy and facing criticism after he kissed a WAVE-TV reporter on the cheek on live television last weekend during the Bourbon & Beyond festival is a local real estate developer.

Eric Goodman, 42, of Jeffersonville, Ind., was charged with harassment, a misdemeanor, by the Jefferson County Attorney after he interrupted WAVE reporter Sara Rivest during a live broadcast on the music festival, which was held at the Kentucky Exposition Center.

Goodman is the founder and CEO of Jeffersonville’s Form G Cos. LLC, a full-service commercial real estate firm. He was profiled in Louisville Business First in March.

He has since apologized for the incident ...

You have to hand it to Team Gahan's choices for public-private parts partnerships.

ON THE AVENUES: Could that be David Duggins paddling across Jeff Gahan's putrid cesspool? On second thought, I'll take the blindfold.

The Green Mouse concludes: "I can't wait for the Mayor Jeff Gahan Presents the Lofts at Centenary Slap and Tickle."

Disclosure: This post complies with the parameters of Roger's sabbatical from local political involvement, having required fewer than 30 minutes to write.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Not so fast on Form G's Centenary church PR vaporware.

The Green Mouse enjoys learning new words.

va·por·ware
/ˈvāpərˌwer/
noun INFORMAL•COMPUTING
Software or hardware that has been advertised but is not yet available to buy, either because it is only a concept or because it is still being written or designed.

This morning there was a triumphant announcement at the Jeffersonville newspaper.

New residential project in the works at former New Albany church, by John Boyle (News&Bune)

NEW ALBANY — To join the several new amenities recently popping up in downtown, New Albany will soon become home to another major residential project.

The site is a familiar one in the city grid. For nearly two centuries, Centenary United Methodist Church played a role in the faiths of many in the area.

Now that the congregation has moved, the idle building will see new life as an apartment complex. Representatives of Form G, the development company behind the project, said the company has been trying to invest in downtown New Albany for “quite some time,” and is excited to finally have the opportunity to do so.

“This property came up, and it’d been sitting for a while on the market, about a year or so,” president and CEO Eric Goodman said. “Once we got into the details of the historical and preservation components of it, we realized that we could make it a project.”

But the Green Mouse has learned that it's probably all vaporware. He believes Form G's option to purchase Centenary expired in December (it may have been renewed as non-refundable payment toward the purchase price) with no offer having been made.

According to Elevate, the church property has not changed hands.

And what does Form G's "G" stand for, anyway? The Mouse says: "Gahan." As noted in this post from November 14, 2019, some of Form G's principals have been priming the mayoral pump for the inevitable municipal incentives.

Maybe they should buy the property first?

That's generally how it's done in capitalism, right?

Pay first, propagandize later?

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GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Vacant Centenary United Methodist buildings to renovated into market rate apartments by a Gahan campaign donor.

The Green Mouse reports that the vacated Centenary United Methodist Church property at 309 E. Spring Street is slated for reuse as multi-family residential (specifically, market rate apartments).

The mouse was told the permitting process is underway but not yet completed.

Among the improvements slated for completion by the contractor, Form G Companies LLC (Jeffersonville):

• Interior renovations to convert vacant space into apartments
• Window replacement
• Painting of exterior brick
• Adding architectural details
• Ingress/egress "improvements" 
• Parking lot repair (recoating, restriping)

Interestingly available real estate records show no change in ownership of the property.

And now for the Jeopardy! answer in the popular category Pay to Play:

"Form G Companies became one in 2019."

Alex, what is a first-time Gahan campaign finance donor?

Does anyone know whether Form G still intends to purchase the property? And why hasn't the word "luxury" been attached to the project? It's Big Daddy G's favorite concept, after all.

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Disclosure: This post complies with the parameters of Roger's sabbatical from local political involvement, having required fewer than 30 minutes to write.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Vacant Centenary United Methodist buildings to renovated into market rate apartments by a Gahan campaign donor.

The Green Mouse reports that the vacated Centenary United Methodist Church property at 309 E. Spring Street is slated for reuse as multi-family residential (specifically, market rate apartments).

The mouse was told the permitting process is underway but not yet completed.

Among the improvements slated for completion by the contractor, Form G Companies LLC (Jeffersonville):

• Interior renovations to convert vacant space into apartments
• Window replacement
• Painting of exterior brick
• Adding architectural details
• Ingress/egress "improvements" 
• Parking lot repair (recoating, restriping)

Interestingly available real estate records show no change in ownership of the property.

And now for the Jeopardy! answer in the popular category Pay to Play:

"Form G Companies became one in 2019."

Alex, what is a first-time Gahan campaign finance donor?

Does anyone know whether Form G still intends to purchase the property? And why hasn't the word "luxury" been attached to the project? It's Big Daddy G's favorite concept, after all.

Centenary United Methodist Church celebrates 180th anniversary, finishes ahead of blunderous fireworks.

Many gluttons for excess in Southern Indiana celebrated Saturday evening with Thunder Over Louisville.

But it also was the occasion for “Celebrating Faithfulness to Mission and Ministry” at Centenary United Methodist Church.

Centenary United Methodist Church celebrates 180th anniversary, by Brooke McAfee (Tom May Content Accumulator)

Church prepares for next chapter

NEW ALBANY — For 180 years, Centenary United Methodist Church has served the New Albany community in its historic church on Spring Street.

But the church isn't just looking to the past as it celebrates its anniversary this year. Centenary is also preparing for a brand new chapter.

In November 2018, the congregation voted to sell its property at 309 E. Spring St. due to the costly upkeep of the historic building and a dwindling congregation. However, Centenary will have a new home starting in late June, which the church plans to announce in April, according to the Rev. Harriett Akins-Banman ...

 ... "I think 180 years in one location says a great deal about the commitment of people who have been part of Centenary that they were committed to staying here," she said. "They were committed to making a difference in their community and they were committed to being part of the kingdom of God from this corner in whatever way they could."

No doubt some readers are scratching their heads; after all, am I not an atheist, and as such, why would any of this matter to me?

I am, but I'm also historically minded. It's fascinating to contemplate 180 years of history at a downtown block, and compelling to consider the church's decision to sell the church property and move to a new location.

Centenary United Methodist Church, downtown -- it's half a city block, now up for sale.

As an aside, the Green Mouse says an acquaintance took roll during the 180th anniversary meal at Centenary. Local elected officials and candidates present for the function were Councilman David Aebersold (a church member and trustee). Fellow at-large councilmen David Barksdale and Al Knable also were seen, along with mayoral candidate Mark Seabrook and 2nd district council candidate Scott Stewart.

The Democratic Party ruling elite apparently did not attend.

Centenary adaptive reuse: "What about a homeless shelter?"

A regular reader offered this insightful comment about the impending sale of Centenary United Methodist Church.

Centenary United Methodist Church, downtown -- it's half a city block, now up for sale.

The disconnect between wants and needs is particularly vivid.

From the listing:

"A fantastic opportunity in Downtown New Albany. Maybe you're not looking for a church home, but what about living space? Something cool, hip and funky with a millennial vibe. We also need more senior housing with some independent living. You could mix it up with co-existence of space that caters to all walks of life. This property offers lots of creative uses. What about a boutique hotel?"

What about a homeless shelter? From the story:

Centenary does its share to feed those in need by opening its food pantry from 9:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. every Tuesday. Free meals are also served at the church twice a week — at 6 p.m. Thursday and 4:30 p.m. Sunday.

Centenary serves 18 percent of Floyd County residents through its food pantry where those in need are allowed to take items once a month. Akins-Banman also said more families are coming to the weekly free meals.

"Yesterday [Tuesday] we had so many veterans come in who needed food," Akins-Banman said. "There is so much need."

Hopefully one of the other churches or organizations downtown pick up those Thursday and Sunday free meal times, because that's going to be a huge loss for the community.

Good point, Jim. Very good point.

But we must remember that City Hall as presently occupied will not publicly acknowledge the existence of unsightliness, whether homelessness, hunger or opioid addiction. The mayor believe irrefutable truth reflects badly on his hermetic "special interests first" kingdom, and so he stares resolutely in the opposite direction. Take the proposition to the city's top leaders, and boutique hotel wins in a landslide.

It's sad. Very sad.

Centenary United Methodist Church, downtown -- it's half a city block, now up for sale.

I took the photos in late August after learning Centenary's sale was impending, but saw no reason to "break" the story.

Everything in due time.

Now that it's public knowledge, reuse options are an interesting diversion; somewhere between 80 and 100 parking spaces are in back, which might also be prime for anti-car-centric infill. 

Mike Kopp has the realtor's brief. We don't need any more food and drink, do we?

Housing, on the other hand ...

Centenary United Methodist Church in New Albany for sale, by Chris Morris (Tom May Hyper Content Meatgrinder)

Congregation plans to move to another site

NEW ALBANY — Centenary United Methodist Church in New Albany will celebrate its 180th birthday next year. While the congregation continues to be very active in the community, the numbers of those attending Sunday service have dwindled in recent years. It is becoming harder and more expensive to maintain the building at 309 E. Spring St., prompting church members to make a difficult decision.

The property, including the church, parsonage and parking lot, is now for sale ...

Church bulldozers again: "Potential threat to one, if not two, historic buildings in downtown New Albany."

The following e-mail came to NAC from Greg Sekula, who is director of the Southern Regional Office of the Historic Landmarks Foundation of Indiana.

Against all odds, the senior editor has elected to exercise restraint in jumping to scathing conclusions about the tendency of downtown churches to be woefully unresponsive to issues pertaining to historic preservation. Instead, let's just permit Greg to tell the story.

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I want to alert you about a potential threat to one, if not two, historic buildings in downtown New Albany. For several months, Historic Landmarks has been involved in conversations with trustees of Centenary Methodist Church concerning the fate of the fire-damaged Frank Marsh house at 417 E. 4th Street. The house, which was the home of local author Greg Seidel and his family, sustained damage in a December 2006 fire. While the damage appears on the surface to be extensive, a site visit and tour of the house has revealed a building that generally is still structurally sound on the first and second floors with some water and surface damage. A limited portion of the roof structure will likely require some rebuilding or reinforcement.

However, the building, in HLFI's opinion, is certainly salvageable and would be conducive to adaptive re-use for office or retail use with plenty of parking in the area that could be leased for the new use (including parking owned by the church which sits largely unused during the weekday).

Centenary Methodist also owns a grass-lawn vacant lot two doors to the north which it purchased with the intent of developing a children's playground on the site. This never materialized and the church has been maintaining the vacant lot. Between the vacant lot and the fire-damaged house is a brick c. 1840 Federal style townhouse that is privately owned and reported to be available for sale.

Initially, Centenary was on a demolition track for the house and was going to leave the lot vacant with no immediate plans for re-development. This would further the erosion of the urban fabric in this section of the downtown which we believe is antithetical to on-going revitalization efforts. After some discussion and persuasion, the trustees appeared amenable to working with HLFI to attempt to market the house in its present state. The idea that was discussed as late as last Friday with a church rep. was to have the church clean-out the house (using its insurance proceeds - cost between $1200-$1700) to make it a bit more attractive to potential buyers and to work with HLFI and local preservation advocates to advertise the house for a minimum 30-day period at $15,000 (price verbally desired by the church which reflected, in its opinion, the value of the vacant lot).

Ed Clere, a local real estate broker, offered his assistance to place the property in the MLS for this abbreviated period. A clean-out estimate was obtained last Friday. However, this morning, I received a call from a church trustee indicating that the trustees yesterday had decided to pursue demolition. The hope was to package the vacant lots with someone who might also want to purchase the brick house in between and redevelop the property. This would mean ultimately the demolition of the two historic structures remaining on the block!

I have asked the church trustee to go back to the Board and see if the church would consider a sale of the house "as is" and the vacant lot it owns as well to alleviate the interest in land speculation that seems to be driving the church in its decision-making. I can't say at this time if HLFI could play a role here given our current "active" project portfolio, but will consider it in order to avoid the inevitable loss of both buildings.

I would love to partner with another local non-profit to save this block. Ideas are welcome here. Will keep you informed of the situation. In the meantime, if any of you know of members of Centenary who might be sympathetic to a preservation approach for this property, please let me know ASAP, and we can try and see if they can exert any influence with the trustees.

(Photos courtesy of Greg Sekula)