2nd district council race pits Tweedledum, Tweedledee in a consensus to the death.

Senility fetishists rejoice: You have until November to enjoy NA's 2nd district council race. The rest of us will be rereading Dante Alighieri's Inferno in a effort to verify which circle of suffering this scenario best inspires.

Ladies and gentleman, your candidates.

Caesar: I hate two-way streets the most.
Stumler: No, I hate two way streets worse than you.

Stumler: I’d have spent $4 million more repairing Spring Street Hill again and again.
Caesar: Hah! I’d have spent $5 million more repairing Spring Street Hill again and again.

Caesar: Miller Lite tastes great!
Stumler: Less filling!

Stumler: If you don't look at trucking porn, you can't have an erection.
Caesar: How can you have an erection if you don't look at trucking porn?

Evidently these two sad remnants are the best New Albany can do. On the topic of street grid reform, the falsehoods, whoppers and outright lies uttered by Bob Caesar and Irv Stumler alone, if laid end to end, would reach to Albuquerque, New Mexico, where the city council recently approved a bold Complete Streets Ordinance, one we can be sure neither Caesar nor Stumler would ever be bothered to read.

Tweedledum and Tweedledee

Agreed to have a battle;

For Tweedledum said Tweedledee

Had spoiled his nice new rattle.

Just then flew down a monstrous crow,

As black as a tar-barrel;

Which frightened both the heroes so,

They quite forgot their quarrel.

Jeff Speck as monstrous crow?

C'mon, someone reading this piece lives in the 2nd district and feels like projectile vomiting at the prospect of either of these two political poseurs representing you in the modern world as it exists in the here and now.

Run as an independent, and at least make them answer to something factual. Let me know, and I'll do what I can to help.

“You have speed limits saying one thing and you have highway engineering saying another.”

Maybe someday, someone actually employed by the City of New Albany will find saying something about Jeff Speck's work here preferable to months of silence. Until then, we'll have to do some vicarious living via Albuquerque. Insert wrong turn jokes as necessary.

City planner poses big changes for downtown ABQ by Chris McKee (KRQE) 

Oklahoma City has done it, now Albuquerque is considering major changes so more people walk and bike downtown. 

A well-known city planner has some big ideas including changing one way streets to two-ways, and possibly getting rid of that center lane on Central Avenue. 

The ideas come from a man named Jeff Speck. He’s spent the last several years doing “walkability” studies in downtown areas across the U.S.. 

“Create an environment in which the sidewalks feel more comfortable for pedestrians but also bicyclists to feel more welcome,” said Speck. 

So far, Speck has done about 20 walkability studies. He says downtown Albuquerque’s streets are “easy” to change. 

“Not to give you a hard time but from a national standard, looking at best practices around the country, you (downtown Albuquerque) do have some of the most fixable streets that I’ve come across,” said Speck in an interview with News 13 on Thursday. 

Overall, Speck is suggesting taking some space away from cars downtown and giving it to pedestrians and bicyclists.