"Giddy Giddy City": Finally, courtesy of the veteran pop band Sparks, #HisNA has the ideal civic marketing slogan.

It's like a bolt of lightning from the firmament.

For those who don't recall New Albany's epochal experience with Come To City, go here: From 2011 and 2015: Regaining consciousness in a city “coming” to? Or, the infamous Come to City marketing fiasco of 2011.

One significant and purely terrifying addition was a proposed visual symbol and embedded tag phrase: Develop New Albany’s longtime logo, topped by the words “Come To City.”

Meanwhile, commit these words to memory; soon enough, they'll become mandatory, along with the pledge and national anthem.

Giddy Giddy, by Sparks

Giddy giddy giddy
Our entire city
Each and every person the
Epitome of giddiness
We're giddy giddy giddy
Our entire city
Everyone displaying an
Immense amount of giddiness
And I'm a travelin' man
In a foreign land
Often I suppress
My inherent giddiness
Until I'm finally home
Throw away the comb
Kick up all my heels
And resume my giddiness
(And I'll resume my giddiness)
We're giddy giddy giddy
Struttin' round the city
"How are you today?"
"I'm feelin' pretty pretty giddy how are you?"
"I'm pretty giddy, last week was a pity
Had a touch of flu and felt a little less than giddy giddy"
Now I'm back to giddy, couldn't feel more giddy, if my life depended on it
"Glad to know you're back to giddy!"
Giddy giddy giddy
Our entire city
Each and every person the
Epitome of giddiness
Giddy giddy wife
Flower of my life
Kids are all asleep
She's thinking giddiness
And so and so am I
Sparkles in her eye
Both of us display
A little extra giddiness
(A little extra giddiness)
Giddy giddy kids
Often blow their lids
Normally they're giddy
But at times they're acting up
Had enough
Go to bed
'til you're giddy
'til you're giddy
Real giddy!
From another city
Where nobody's giddy
Comes a scientific group
To analyse our giddiness
"Their water ain't too giddy
Their diet ain't too giddy
We're prettier than they are
But they're infinitely giddier!"
Giddy giddy giddy
Their entire city
Each and every person the
Epitome of giddiness
They're giddy giddy giddy
Their entire city
Everyone displaying an
Immense amount of giddiness
We can ? their town
Never never ?
Endorphins really flow
Why it is - don't really know
We need a bigger grant
Thus we're hesitant
Honestly, no clue
Why they so damn giddy giddy?
Giddy giddy giddy
Their entire city
Each and every person the
Epitome of giddiness
They're giddy giddy giddy
Their entire city
Everyone displaying an
Immense amount of giddiness
Giddy giddy giddy
There is so much giddiness
Giddy giddy giddy
Giddy giddy giddy
Giddy giddy giddy
Giddy giddy giddy

Songwriters: Ronald D Mael / Russell C Mael
Giddy Giddy lyrics © BMG Rights Management US, LLC

The magic number is 2,228 ... days since Bob Caesar vowed to protect Pearl Street against the damned pergessives.

Don't hold your breath, but I'm about to prove Mayor Jeff Gahan wrong by doing something "positive" for the city of New Albany.

That's because it's positively hilarious to recall July 26, 2011, when Bob Caesar rose from bed, fondly recalled his pivotal role in protesting the anti-establishment hippies at Woodstock, and vowed to resist any attempt to inflict modernity on his street.

On August 30, when Pearl Street is restored to two-way traffic, it will have been 2,228 days since ranking city council "Democrat" and future mayoral hopeful Tiberius Severus Octavian Elagabalus Septimius Augustus Claudius Hadrian Caesar-- Protector of Fitting and Proper Scribnerian Values, Deliverer of all Downtown Datedness, Master of the Ex-Mercantile, and Guardian of the Gates -- uttered these immortal words:

"I am for change. Change every street to two way (but) not Pearl Street. Pearl Street will NOT be two way. It's more convenient for people to park without having to drive around the block."

Alas, Endris Jewelers closed on Valentine's day, 2015, but in the years since, Caesar has resisted all requests to divulge Bicentennial Commission records, enthusiastically endorsed aesthetic and environmental atrocities like Summit Springs, carried Gahan's jockstrap with all the aplomb of the sycophantic bootlickers on our sardine-packed housing authority board, and in general, opposed any and all progressive proposals at every turn.

As a Democrat.

Happy 2,228 days, Bobby. Can you please leave now?

Here is a lightly edited reprint of the historical record. Don't expect to see it in the News and Tribune.

---

July 26, 2011: Merchant Mixer notes (2): Empty storefronts, Harvest Homecoming and Bob Caesar's all-way street confusion.

Here's the second part of my notes on this morning's Merchant Mixer meeting.

Previously: Merchant Mixer notes (1): New businesses, landscaping, parking, signage and dog poop.

(snip)

Two-way streets: John Rosenbarger explained that the city has procured a Federal street conversion grant subject to various Federal restrictions, which must have a 20% match from the city: $1.6 million from the Feds, and $400,000 from the city. Mayor England volunteered that while it’s “no slam against the council,” it would be the council’s job to find the money, which might come from EDIT.

Councilman, jewelry dealer and part-time Roman centurion Bob Caesar responded by defending the council, and added (italics mine): 

“One-way is the way to move traffic through a city; it is proven by numerous studies all across the country.”

The discussion continued, with the owners of Preston Art Supply joining Caesar in defending the inviolable sanctity of Pearl Street’s one-way flow, and this led to Caesar stating bluntly, unprompted and aloud:

“Pearl Street will NOT be two-way.”

I asked him how he could say this; he looked away and did not respond, but after the meeting, he walked past me and we had one of the most useless discussions in recent memory. If I were to have stated that 2 + 2 = 4, I'm certain he would disagree.

In short, after I asked him why he invariably opposes change and new ways of thinking about downtown areas, Caesar denied it, and explicitly permitted me to divulge this exact quote:

"I am for change. Change every street to two way (but) not Pearl Street. Pearl Street will NOT be two way. It's more convenient for people to park without having to drive around the block."

Don Preston added that all police departments support one-way street grids. Previously, Kathy Brennan had warned that if streets are two way, big trucks will park in traffic lanes to unload ... and what then? Throughout, listening to it, you'd think that cities are scary places, indeed, and meant for dashing into and away from as quickly as possible, in a car ... always in a car.

I realized (yet again) how so many of the older generation of merchants sincerely believes that whatever works out yonder in the soulless exurb should be implemented downtown, whereas the way I see it is that whatever can be done to create the polar opposite atmosphere downtown – including people-friendly, slower-moving traffic to accommodate humanity, and alternative modes of transportation apart from the automobile – should be the desired goal.

NAC has extensively and exhaustively made the case for two-way streets: Two-way traffic: A city permitted to function as designed is good for business.

All Bob Caesar and a handful of downtown reactionaries can offer in response are “numerous” studies, which he has so far failed to produce, and the admittedly honest (and I believe amazingly self-serving) stance that because he personally regards a one-way street as critical to his business (as though people cruising past a jewelry store are slamming on the brakes when they decide, spur-of-the-moment, to park next to the Endris front door and buy some bracelets), he will damn the torpedoes and impede potential two-way solutions in the same manner as he denounced the aborted proposal to divert the Harvest Homecoming Parade down Pearl Street ... 

From 2011 and 2015: Regaining consciousness in a city “coming” to? Or, the infamous Come to City marketing fiasco of 2011.

Infamously.

(The following has appeared previously, with an introduction from March 19, 2015, with the main section dating to September 26, 2011. This "rewind" accompanies today's ON THE AVENUES, here.)

---

ON THE AVENUES FLASHBACK: Regaining consciousness in a city “coming” to? Or, the infamous Come to City marketing fiasco of 2011.

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

Ancient history can be instructive.

In 2010, reigning municipal kingpins Doug England and Carl Malysz hatched a scheme to bring back “together” two economic development entities (Develop New Albany and the Urban Enterprise Association) which formerly had been united by the common executive leadership of Nick Cortolillo, but split when Mike Ladd was hired as Cortolillo’s replacement, prompting insurgents within DNA to stage an unfortunate palace coup favoring their own choice as successor.

The mess was permitted to fester until England saw a chance to profit from pretending to mend it. Predictably, the results of the purported healing process egregiously violated the Hippocratic Oath, but then again, neither Doug nor Carl ever sought to avoid maiming patients in pursuit of their own ends.

The mechanism for reconciliation was to be a city of New Albany branding campaign controlled by DNA and largely financed by the UEA, for the simplest of reasons: City Hall viewed the UEA as an ATM ripe for the plucking, and by doing so, City Hall could avoid putting its own skin in the game while at the same time fluffing its DNA allies and masquerading at assisting local independent businesses. In short, the perfect political solution -- with almost no chance of substantive implementation or accomplishment.

A grand reconciliation meeting was held in February, 2011, at which it was revealed that the fledgling marketing campaign’s key premise rested on an unexamined assumption that local independent businesses (mostly eateries at the time) would happily participate in what amounted to a mass Groupon, handing out discounts and coupons at their own expense because after all, who’d ever visit New Albany without being bribed to do so?

The fact that none of them had been asked or informed of this necessity triggered expressions of disbelief and annoyance, and for six months, the reconciliation project lay dormant, licking its considerable wounds. Then, in September, the Sherman Minton Bridge took ill and was closed. Hurriedly the mothballed marketing campaign was dusted off and offered as tailor-made panacea to assist with the transportation crisis.

Evidently an ad man named Tom Dudgeon had been handed the brief on the down-low, and within days, he reformatted the previous plan into something far, far worse, which was presented with much fanfare to downtown business persons at an emergency “merchant mixer” gathering at the Grand on Tuesday, September 20.

Following is my column of Monday, September 26, 2011, where we pick up the story. Almost five years have passed, and yes, the local independent business community has utterly failed to unite for the common good – if it had, then Irv Stumler and Jim Padgett would be unable to divide it with anti-Speck lies.

But as this unpleasantness clearly illustrates, New Albany’s political classes are the sole entities to profit from the division of business. City Hall and political parties cannot be trusted to facilitate unity when division suits them better. We must do it ourselves. That’s why there’ll be a restaurant association meeting today.

When will we learn from not-so-ancient history?

---

(September 26, 2011)

All the way back in February, some of us were asking pointed questions about the ballyhooed “joint venture” between Develop New Albany, City Hall and the Urban Enterprise Association.

It was a device ostensibly intended to “brand” New Albany by financing an advertising campaign geared primarily toward promoting the city’s restaurants, which were deemed the most marketable engines of the city’s revitalization.

What is the brand, who does the branding, and other necessary questions.

What's the brand? Is it referencing price point, lifestyle, multi-cultural? What's the definition of downtown? Who gets to play? Why this marketing firm and not that other one? Is it for independent businesses, chains or both? Are ads on bus stops in Louisville really reaching the chosen target audience? What is the chosen target audience? Why not Columbus or Indianapolis? Why not all the people in Floyd County who still don't know downtown exists?

The campaign’s general theme, intent and parameters were unveiled at the YMCA on February 23, and I was there at the invitation of Paul Kiger. The reaction was muted, with insiders understandably jubilant and outsiders more analytical. Paul had requested that I ask hard questions, and I did. Overnight, my stock plunged accordingly.

Afterward, with the balloons and bunting safely packed away, almost seven months of silence ensued. Only last week, at an informal Merchant Mixer meeting called to discuss responses to challenges posed by the Sherman Minton Bridge closure, was the updated campaign described by the Dudgeon firm’s founder, accompanied by a new sense of inevitability and urgency (paraphrased):
The campaign is finished, the bridge situation demands that we implement it now, here are your marching orders, and we can talk about the details later.

Actually, last Tuesday’s plan seemed little changed from February’s preliminary bullet points, although with certain elements added (topical Interstate billboards) and others subtracted (Louisville bus stop ads) to reflect current, post-bridge-outage transportation realities.

One significant and purely terrifying addition was a proposed visual symbol and embedded tag phrase: Develop New Albany’s longtime logo, topped by the words “Come To City.”

---

Note that during the plan’s elongated seven-month gestation period, there was neither public discussion nor participation by the business community – especially those restaurants expected to carry the ball. As such, it is no wonder the discussion at last Tuesday’s Merchant Mixer meeting became somewhat agitated.

However, I find considerable hope in Tuesday’s final outcome, because something unexpected happened. A motion was offered. Another motion followed, and there was discussion and an amendment. An actual vote was held, and those in attendance overwhelmingly rejected the ridiculous “Come To City” portion of Dudgeon’s plan, favoring instead a temporary compromise using the DNA visual on modified billboards.

Do you see it?

This hitherto unstructured group of merchants entered into a process of debate, and by doing so tacitly made an abrupt passage from non-binding to semi-formality – a veritable union of business owners, as it were, and a transitional big bang, because the cliques-that-be did not challenge the decision of the collective. That’s huge.

Thus, even as former downtown business owner Don Preston flailed while mouthing his bizarre, Caesaresque, primal fear of “mob” democracy, grassroots democracy was emerging before his wide shut eyes. Liberated from the committee’s closed back room, with information openly on the table, the city’s business owning shareholders convincingly rejected a flawed, top-down idea and offered an alternative.

For at least one shining moment, the city’s historic boil was lanced.

---

Can we be honest?

This “joint venture” was a shotgun marriage from the very start. The impetus to work “together” did not evolve from the ground up, but was imposed from the top (City Hall) down.

Yet, it might have worked had the mayor and his sidekicks actually cared to engage in negotiation aimed at consensus and enlightenment, but unfortunately the task of persuasion was delegated from mayor to deputy, and then to the same tired DNA operatives as always, ensuring the UEA's role in conceptualizing the campaign remained miniscule, while its checkbook stayed within easy lunging distance when the bills came due.

To this day, no one outside a small circle of the anointed knows why the Dudgeon ad agency was chosen. There is no explanation for the secrecy involved. No City Hall official bothered to remain at last week’s meeting to offer insight. Rather, what we know is that once again, politicized methodology usurped possibility.

In February, the News and Tribune’s article ended like this:

Mayor Doug England said cross promotion is vital to sustaining the recent progress made downtown, and the joint venture is an opportunity to continue the growth. “It won’t work without everybody’s cooperation,” he said.

But the congenital absence of mechanisms purpose-built to encourage inclusiveness and participation thwarts cooperation, doesn’t it?

If you design a top-down process to achieve pre-determined outcomes (or in New Albany’s case, non-outcomes), that’s generally what will come out the other end of the meat grinder. Consequently, the joint marketing campaign now resembles little more than the faces of its handful of entrenched designers, seated before a mirror, looking back at themselves.

It breaks no new ground, nor offers a younger demographic any reason for future excitement. It is a testament both to the enduring prevalence of human design flaws, and the sheer, numbing and destructive nepotism for which the current administration chiefly will be remembered, and before the inevitable rejoinder is squealed: Contrary to popular belief, nepotism need not be remunerable to be toxic and capable of suppressing necessary public participation.

And yet, it is my sincere hope that with last week’s brief and transformative moment, New Albany’s small business persons may see a flickering light. Top-down is superfluous when the grassroots are mobilized, and now, more than ever, small business has the means to come together and take a seat at the table.

Trump, Obama and the enduring lure of "populist nationalism."

It's worth it for the Voltaire quote, which I haven't seen for many a moon.

Trump and Obama: A Night to Remember, by Adam Gopnik (The New Yorker)

Once, and only once, in 2011, have I attended the annual White House Correspondents’ Association dinner in Washington, D.C., on the grounds, as I explained then, that Voltaire is said to have cited when he declined a second invitation to an orgy: once a philosopher, twice a pervert. Luckily for the philosopher in me, it turned out to be an auspicious night. Not only, as we did not know then, was President Obama in the midst of the operation that would lead shortly to Osama bin Laden’s killing; it was also the night when, despite that preoccupation, the President took apart Donald Trump, plastic piece by orange part, and then refused to put him back together again.

There's a far deeper side to this. It's the enduring lure of what the author calls "populist nationalism."

Nor is it at all surprising to find a billionaire businessman representing this ideology, because it is not really members of the economic élite who are its villains—it is the educated élite, and the uneducated outsiders, who are. It is, on the historical record, much more a response to the ceaseless anxieties of modern life than to any financial angst of the moment. Probably the best student of this modern ideology is the conservative historian John Lukacs, whose 2005 book “Democracy And Populism: Fear and Hatred” makes clear how different the nationalist formula is from patriotism properly so called: it rests not on a sense of pride in place or background but in an intense sense of victimization. The cry of the genuine patriot is, Leave us alone to be the people we have always been. The populist nationalist cries, We have been cheated of our birthright, and the Leader will give it back.

The ideology is always available; it just changes its agents from time to time.

ON THE AVENUES FLASHBACK: Regaining consciousness in a city “coming” to?

ON THE AVENUES FLASHBACK: Regaining consciousness in a city “coming” to?

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

Ancient history can be instructive.

In 2010, reigning municipal kingpins Doug England and Carl Malysz hatched a scheme to bring back “together” two economic development entities (Develop New Albany and the Urban Enterprise Association) which formerly had been united by the common executive leadership of Nick Cortolillo, but split when Mike Ladd was hired as Cortolillo’s replacement, prompting insurgents within DNA to stage an unfortunate palace coup favoring their own choice as successor.

The mess was permitted to fester until England saw a chance to profit from pretending to mend it. Predictably, the results of the purported healing process egregiously violated the Hippocratic Oath, but then again, neither Doug nor Carl ever sought to avoid maiming patients in pursuit of their own ends.

The mechanism for reconciliation was to be a city of New Albany branding campaign controlled by DNA and largely financed by the UEA, for the simplest of reasons: City Hall viewed the UEA as an ATM ripe for the plucking, and by doing so, City Hall could avoid putting its own skin in the game while at the same time fluffing its DNA allies and masquerading at assisting local independent businesses. In short, the perfect political solution -- with almost no chance of substantive implementation or accomplishment.

A grand reconciliation meeting was held in February, 2011, at which it was revealed that the fledgling marketing campaign’s key premise rested on an unexamined assumption that local independent businesses (mostly eateries at the time) would happily participate in what amounted to a mass Groupon, handing out discounts and coupons at their own expense because after all, who’d ever visit New Albany without being bribed to do so?

The fact that none of them had been asked or informed of this necessity triggered expressions of disbelief and annoyance, and for six months, the reconciliation project lay dormant, licking its considerable wounds. Then, in September, the Sherman Minton Bridge took ill and was closed. Hurriedly the mothballed marketing campaign was dusted off and offered as tailor-made panacea to assist with the transportation crisis.

Evidently an ad man named Tom Dudgeon had been handed the brief on the down-low, and within days, he reformatted the previous plan into something far, far worse, which was presented with much fanfare to downtown business persons at an emergency “merchant mixer” gathering at the Grand on Tuesday, September 20.

Following is my column of Monday, September 26, 2011, where we pick up the story. Almost five years have passed, and yes, the local independent business community has utterly failed to unite for the common good – if it had, then Irv Stumler and Jim Padgett would be unable to divide it with anti-Speck lies.

But as this unpleasantness clearly illustrates, New Albany’s political classes are the sole entities to profit from the division of business. City Hall and political parties cannot be trusted to facilitate unity when division suits them better. We must do it ourselves. That’s why there’ll be a restaurant association meeting today.

When will we learn from not-so-ancient history?

---

(September 26, 2011)

All the way back in February, some of us were asking pointed questions about the ballyhooed “joint venture” between Develop New Albany, City Hall and the Urban Enterprise Association.

It was a device ostensibly intended to “brand” New Albany by financing an advertising campaign geared primarily toward promoting the city’s restaurants, which were deemed the most marketable engines of the city’s revitalization.

What is the brand, who does the branding, and other necessary questions.

What's the brand? Is it referencing price point, lifestyle, multi-cultural? What's the definition of downtown? Who gets to play? Why this marketing firm and not that other one? Is it for independent businesses, chains or both? Are ads on bus stops in Louisville really reaching the chosen target audience? What is the chosen target audience? Why not Columbus or Indianapolis? Why not all the people in Floyd County who still don't know downtown exists?

The campaign’s general theme, intent and parameters were unveiled at the YMCA on February 23, and I was there at the invitation of Paul Kiger. The reaction was muted, with insiders understandably jubilant and outsiders more analytical. Paul had requested that I ask hard questions, and I did. Overnight, my stock plunged accordingly.

Afterward, with the balloons and bunting safely packed away, almost seven months of silence ensued. Only last week, at an informal Merchant Mixer meeting called to discuss responses to challenges posed by the Sherman Minton Bridge closure, was the updated campaign described by the Dudgeon firm’s founder, accompanied by a new sense of inevitability and urgency (paraphrased):
The campaign is finished, the bridge situation demands that we implement it now, here are your marching orders, and we can talk about the details later.

Actually, last Tuesday’s plan seemed little changed from February’s preliminary bullet points, although with certain elements added (topical Interstate billboards) and others subtracted (Louisville bus stop ads) to reflect current, post-bridge-outage transportation realities.

One significant and purely terrifying addition was a proposed visual symbol and embedded tag phrase: Develop New Albany’s longtime logo, topped by the words “Come To City.”

---

Note that during the plan’s elongated seven-month gestation period, there was neither public discussion nor participation by the business community – especially those restaurants expected to carry the ball. As such, it is no wonder the discussion at last Tuesday’s Merchant Mixer meeting became somewhat agitated.

However, I find considerable hope in Tuesday’s final outcome, because something unexpected happened. A motion was offered. Another motion followed, and there was discussion and an amendment. An actual vote was held, and those in attendance overwhelmingly rejected the ridiculous “Come To City” portion of Dudgeon’s plan, favoring instead a temporary compromise using the DNA visual on modified billboards.

Do you see it?

This hitherto unstructured group of merchants entered into a process of debate, and by doing so tacitly made an abrupt passage from non-binding to semi-formality – a veritable union of business owners, as it were, and a transitional big bang, because the cliques-that-be did not challenge the decision of the collective. That’s huge.

Thus, even as former downtown business owner Don Preston flailed while mouthing his bizarre, Caesaresque, primal fear of “mob” democracy, grassroots democracy was emerging before his wide shut eyes. Liberated from the committee’s closed back room, with information openly on the table, the city’s business owning shareholders convincingly rejected a flawed, top-down idea and offered an alternative.

For at least one shining moment, the city’s historic boil was lanced.

---

Can we be honest?

This “joint venture” was a shotgun marriage from the very start. The impetus to work “together” did not evolve from the ground up, but was imposed from the top (City Hall) down.

Yet, it might have worked had the mayor and his sidekicks actually cared to engage in negotiation aimed at consensus and enlightenment, but unfortunately the task of persuasion was delegated from mayor to deputy, and then to the same tired DNA operatives as always, ensuring the UEA's role in conceptualizing the campaign remained miniscule, while its checkbook stayed within easy lunging distance when the bills came due.

To this day, no one outside a small circle of the anointed knows why the Dudgeon ad agency was chosen. There is no explanation for the secrecy involved. No City Hall official bothered to remain at last week’s meeting to offer insight. Rather, what we know is that once again, politicized methodology usurped possibility.

In February, the News and Tribune’s article ended like this:

Mayor Doug England said cross promotion is vital to sustaining the recent progress made downtown, and the joint venture is an opportunity to continue the growth. “It won’t work without everybody’s cooperation,” he said.

But the congenital absence of mechanisms purpose-built to encourage inclusiveness and participation thwarts cooperation, doesn’t it?

If you design a top-down process to achieve pre-determined outcomes (or in New Albany’s case, non-outcomes), that’s generally what will come out the other end of the meat grinder. Consequently, the joint marketing campaign now resembles little more than the faces of its handful of entrenched designers, seated before a mirror, looking back at themselves.

It breaks no new ground, nor offers a younger demographic any reason for future excitement. It is a testament both to the enduring prevalence of human design flaws, and the sheer, numbing and destructive nepotism for which the current administration chiefly will be remembered, and before the inevitable rejoinder is squealed: Contrary to popular belief, nepotism need not be remunerable to be toxic and capable of suppressing necessary public participation.

And yet, it is my sincere hope that with last week’s brief and transformative moment, New Albany’s small business persons may see a flickering light. Top-down is superfluous when the grassroots are mobilized, and now, more than ever, small business has the means to come together and take a seat at the table.

---

Recent ON THE AVENUES columns:

ON THE AVENUES SPECIAL EDITION: Full Frontal Goebbels erupts as Padgett looks at New Albany as a hole.

ON THE AVENUES: Die Hard the Hunter, or the political impossibility of rental property registration on New Albany.

ON THE AVENUES SPECIAL EDITION: Adam's rib tips.

ON THE AVENUES: It's just like when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.

ON THE AVENUES: As Admiral Gahan steers his Speck study into the Bermuda Triangle, crewmen Padgett, Stumler and Caesar grimly toss all the rum overboard.

Kitchen Fable Tissues: Whatever happened to reefer madness, communism, little people, high kites and ego maniacs?

The Kitchen Table Issues blog was born on May 12, 2010 and went into suspended animation (above) in January of 2013. Usually I'd get a nice contact buzz just from clicking on it, and I miss that.

I only ask you to try and stick to the issues or topics at hand; keep an even tempered keel; try not to cuss; and don't worry about who set this blog up. This blog is the peoples' blog and enables them to have a voice without fear of retaliation. It should work better than the other blogs where people do know who is publishing, I feel.

How the "peoples' blog" functioned in practice was that anonymous commenters retaliated against me, a known entity, and this has been a continuing feature of Roger's Life on the Internet since NA Confidential first appeared in 2004.

Surely the following post represents the apogee of Kitchen Table Issues, at least as it sought to be the chronicle of the Anti-Baylor: 3,805 excruciating words in the form of a veritable Summa Troglogica taking issue in great detail with one of my pre-merger Tribune columns ("A New Albanist’s Dictionary, Volume 2").

The comments were awesome, too, but more on that later, in a subsequent post. First, let's relive the Ascendency of Chipped Formica ... the chopped liver ... and a meandering river of sadness, gone up in smoke.

---

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2011

THIS ARTICLE IS DEDICATED TO THE CITIZENS OF NEW ALBANY.  WE WANT PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND THE TRUE GIST OF WHAT OUR LOCAL COMMUNIST, ROGER BAYLOR, IS SAYING ABOUT ALL OF US WHO DO NOT AGREE WITH HIM AND DON'T RISE TO THE HEIGHTS OF GRANDEUR WHERE HE PLACES HIMSELF.


FIRST OFF, WHAT IS AN OPEN AIR MUSEUM:  ACCORDING TO THE DICTIONARY AN OPEN AIR MUSEUM IS A DISTINCT TYPE OF MUSEUM EXHIBITING ITS COLLECTION OUT OF DOORS.  WE CAN ONLY ASSUME THESE WORDS GRAVITATE TO HIS BRAIN WHEN HE IS ABLE TO BICYCLE AND CRUISE PAST LARRY KOCHERT'S HOUSE, STEVE PRICE'S HOUSE AND VICKI DENHART'S HOUSE.  I'M NOT SURE WHY YOU WOULD BICYCLE THESE AREAS EXCEPT TO TRY AND GET ON THEIR NERVES OR AS AN INTIMIDATION FACTOR.  (These are his words:   Let’s begin the year with another revolving and evolving list of words, terms and concepts that provide a specialized vocabulary of life in the Open Air Museum. The first collection appeared Oct. 15, 2009.)


WHILE WE DO NOT BELIEVE MR. BAYLOR'S INTENTIONS ARE MEANT TO HONESTLY EDUCATE THE PEOPLE OF NEW ALBANY BUT RATHER TO CRITICIZE, MAKE FUN OF (AND I DO THINK HE THINKS HE IS HYSTERICALLY FUNNY), THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT  HELPS DEFINE THE STUNNING DEPTHS OF THE NEW ALBANIAN ZEITGEIST (ZEIGEIST SIMPLY MEANS THE GENERAL INTELLECTUAL, MORAL, AND CULTURAL CLIMATE OF A GENERATION).  I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT HE IN NO WAY DEFINES MY INTELLECTUAL CAPACITIES, NOR MY MORALS, NOR DOES HE HAVE RIGHT TO PASS JUDGEMENT ON ANY ONE'S CULTURAL APTITUDES.  THE BAD THING IS HE THINKS HE HAS EVERY RIGHT.  (These are Baylor's words:  It is my earnest goal to periodically refresh and expand this list, and your assistance is requested in doing so. Please send corrections, additions and comments to istanbul85@yahoo.com, and help define the forever stunning depths of the New Albanian zeitgeist.)


A MAJORITY OF CITIZENS TRULY FEEL NEW ALBANY DOES NOT HAVE CONTROL OVER OUR BUDGET MONIES AND THE ENGLAND ADMINISTRATION IS CONSTANTLY THREATENING THE CITIZENS BY THE FOLLOWING SOUND BITES:  "Turn your cable off so you can pay your new increased sewer bills."  "I'm going to cut back on cleaning snow and ice from the street rather than renegotiate the police and fire contracts who are taking 83% of our budget."  IF WE CAN NOT TAKE CARE OF WHAT WE HAVE NOW WHY IN THE HEY WOULD WE WANT TO ANNEX ANYMORE PROPERTIES OR LAND UNLESS THE PLAN IS TO TRY AND RAISE OUR TAX LEVY AS JEFFERSONVILLE TRIED.  UNFORTUNATELY, ANNEXATION DID PASS BUT NO ONE CRIED.  (Here are Baylor's words:   Annexation  A wonderful thing to do, so long as you neither complete nor use it until long after the current council’s sell-by date.)  ARE WE USING IT YET MR. BAYLOR?


THE NEXT WORD BAYLOR USES IS THE AXIS OF BANAL.  ANY DEFINITION I FOUND REFERS TO THE AXIS OF BANAL BEING THE SAME AS THE AXIS OF EVIL.  REGULARLY HE TORE THE FORMER COUNCIL MEMBERS UP, I.E., KOCHERT, SCHMIDT ETC., (EVEN BURNING EFFIGIES OF THEM BEFORE A MEETING ONE NIGHT), BUT THESE ARE HIS WORDS (THOUGH I CAN'T DECIDE IF HE MEANS CAESAR, ZURSCHMEIDE, MCGLAUGHLIN, MESSER, OR BENEDETTI, OR JUST WHO CONJOINS WITH PRICE AND COFFEE).  (Here are Baylor's words:  Axis of Banal  The Steve Price/Dan Coffey conjoined city council obstruction club, usually with anywhere from one to seven other members quite eager to make it into a threesome.)


OF COURSE, BAYLOR'S LIST WOULDN'T BE COMPLETE WITHOUT A PAT ON HIS BACK ABOUT HE BEING ABLE TO BICYCLE AND I GUESS HE FEELS THIS MAY BE THE NAME ATTRIBUTED BY US NEW ALBANIANS BECAUSE OF HIS EXERCISE.  THE TROGLODYTES HE LABELS  ALL NEW ALBANIANS BY DEFINITION MEANS CAVEMAN, MEMBERS OF A PRIMITIVE RACE OR PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN CAVES.  I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT ONE OF THOSE AND EVERYONE IN NEW ALBANY WOULD AGREE WITH ME ON THIS ISSUE, BUT...  (Here are Baylor's words:  Bike boy  Term of affection used by anonymous troglodytes to describe anyone who rides more miles on a bicycle in a given day than they’re capable of doing in a year). HE DOTH THINK SO HIGHLY OF HIMSELF AND SO LITTLE OF THE REST OF THE CITIZENS IN OUR FAIR TOWN.


BLUE LAWS WERE PUT INTO LEGISLATION BY THE STATE OF INDIANA.  I, FOR THE LIFE OF ME, CAN NOT FIGURE OUT (WHETHER I LIKE COFFEY OR NOT, HOW HE CAN LAY HIS WANTING TO SELL CARRY OUT BEER ON SUNDAY AT COFFEY'S FEET), BUT HERE ARE HIS WORDS:  (Here are Baylor's words:  Blue Laws  Sunday retail sales restrictions lovingly fetishized (no such word) by Councilman Cappuccino, implying the restoration of rotary dial telephones, one-piece bathing suits, asbestos insulation and mail delivered by Pony Express.)  I WOULD GUESS HE REALLY HATES BOSTON WHERE BLUE LAWS ARE STILL IN EFFECT AND YOU CAN NOT EVEN SHOP ON SUNDAY.  BUT THEN AGAIN, HE DOES HAVE A HANGUP WITH RELIGION.


RATHER THAN USING HIS WIDE BRUSH STROKE TO PAINT ALL CITIZENS NOT DOING RIGHT BY NOT BUYING LOCAL (WHICH A LOT OF US DO) HE HAS TO TAKE A SWIPE EVEN WHERE PEOPLE GAS UP THEIR CARS.  WHAT HE FAILS TO DO IN HIS ARTICLE IS TO  LIST THE GAS STATIONS WHO ARE LOCAL.  TO ME, THAT WOULD HAVE REQUIRED TOO MUCH WORK ON HIS PART.  (Here are Baylor's words:  Buy Local  Saving gas by shopping at the mega-chain retailer nearest one’s house.)  CAN WE GET SOME ONE TO TELL US WHERE HE GASES UP?


THE DEFINITION OF A CAUCUS MEANS A GROUP OF POLITICIANS WHO GET TOGETHER AND SELECT THEIR CANDIDATES.  THERE WAS ONE ILLEGAL MEETING WHERE A MAJORITY OF COUNCIL GOT TOGETHER IN A BAR BUT NOTHING EVER CAME FROM IT.  WE CAN ONLY ASSUME THIS SITUATION IS WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT BUT AT THE SAME TIME, THEY WERE ALL HIS BUDDIES:  (Here are Baylor's words:  Caucus  A city council meeting that isn’t, as attended only by those council members who won’t admit aloud to being Republican, as opposed to the single one who will. Quorum due to expire in November, 2011.)  DO YOU KNOW, AS I DO, WHO IS A DEMOCRAT ON THE CURRENT COUNCIL, WHO IS A REPUBLICAN AND WHO WAFFLES BETWEEN?  I DO BUT I GUESS HE DOES NOT.


THERE HAS BEEN A POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEE FORMED IN NEW ALBANY, JOINED BY HUNDREDS, BOTH DEMOCRAT AND REPUBLICAN.  LEGAL PAPERS AND MONIES AND REPORTING RECORDS ARE FILED IN THE FLOYD COUNTY CLERK'S OFFICE.  THE PAC IS CALLED CITIZENS FOR ACCOUNTABILITY.  A VOTE WAS HELD BY MEMBERS (I WAS THERE) AND MS. VICKI DENHART WAS ELECTED THE PRESIDENT.  IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING WHICH SETS MR. BAYLOR'S BLOOD BOILING BECAUSE HE CANNOT FIND OUT WHO BELONGS TO THIS PAC, JUST MENTION CITIZENS FOR ACCOUNTABILITY.  I HAVE A FEELING; NO, I KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE; WHEN HE DOES FIND OUT IT WILL BE TOO LATE FOR HIM AND HE AND THE POWERS TO BE WHO DON'T WANT TO DO THE RIGHT THING AND THEY WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT THEM COME ELECTION TIME!  (Here are Baylor's words:  Citizens Faux Accountability  Hillary Clinton fan club, run by a chain smoker from a post office box near a Gucci outlet somewhere in Italy.)  I BET HE WISHES THAT WAS/IS THE CASE.


THEN, HE TAKES A SWIPE AT TEACHERS TRYING TO BRING STUDENTS IN TO COUNCIL MEETINGS FOR A LESSON IN CIVICS.  AS A TEACHER WHO HAVE BROUGHT MY OWN STUDENTS IN FOR COUNCIL MEETINGS I NEVER EXPECTED THEM TO UNDERSTAND THE SUBJECTS AT HAND, SIMPLY TO GRASP A FEELING OF HOW, IN GENERAL, PEOPLE GATHER AND VOTE.  (Here are Baylor's words:  City Council  Place where the high school civics class kids are obliged to go ... for detention. (DS))  HE LEFT OUT THE BOY SCOUTS AND OTHER ORGANIZATIONS WHO ATTEND.  MUST HAVE BEEN SHORT ON COLUMN SPACE THAT DAY.


AND, A LIFE IN THE DAY OF BAYLOR WOULD NO BE COMPLETE WITHOUT WHAT I CONSIDER HIS ASININE RAVINGS ABOUT ED CLERE.  BAYLOR DOES NOT HAVE THE NERVE, THE MONEY, NOR THE WHEREWITHAL TO EVEN CONSIDER RUNNING FOR PUBLIC OFFICE.   BUT BY GOSH, IF YOU ARE AND DO AND WIN, YOU HAD BEST DROP EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING FOR ALL THE PEOPLE AND ANSWER TO HIS WHIM, IMMEDIATELY!  OR, YOU TOO, WILL BE SUBJECT TO THE RIDICULE THE ENTIRE TOWN CAN NOT ESCAPE.  (Here are Baylor's words:  Clere Channel Network  Where communication is a one-way street, and the street has no name.)


BEING A CONSERVATIVE DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN YOU ARE A DEMOCRAT OR A REPUBLICAN IN MY EYES.  I KNOW LIBERAL PUBS AND LIBERAL DEMS AND CONSERVATIVE PUBS AND CONSERVATIVE DEMS.  THE ENTIRE COUNTRY IS IN DIRE NEED OF THE CONSERVATION OF OUR MONIES AS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PUBLIC SERVANTS AND ENTIRE GOVERNMENTS ARE LOSING THEIR JOBS.  MR. BAYLOR DOES NOT BELIEVE IN BEING CONSERVATIVE WHEN IT COMES TO OUR MONEY.  NO ONE CAN FIGURE OUT HIS RHYME OR REASON FOR WANTING TO SPEND, SPEND, SPEND.  IN HIS WORDS WHICH FOLLOW, PLEASE ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN WHAT HE MEANS BY ATTILA THE HUN.  HE WAS THE MOST SUCCESSFUL BARBARIAN INVADER AND ALSO CONSIDERED UNGODLY.  (NO SURPRISE THERE.)  THE WEIMAR PART IS WHERE GERMANY ESTABLISHED AN IMPERIAL FORM OF GOVERNMENT WHICH EVENTUALLY LED TO THE RISE OF ADOLPH HITLER (NO SURPRISE THERE, EITHER).  THE BIRDSEYE BLUES MEANS TO THINK FROM AN ELEVATED STATE HIGH ABOVE THE REST OF THE CITIZENS OF NEW ALBANY.  (Here are Baylor's words:  Conservatism   Political trait that Floyd County Democrats typically claim to possess to a greater degree than their Republican rivals, who themselves are somewhere to the right of Attila the Hun, leaving the remainder of us stuck inside of Weimar with the Birdseye blues again.)


THE NEXT PARAGRAPH HE WRITES WRAPS A BLANKET AROUND ANY DISCUSSIONS, ANY DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW, AND OR OPPOSITION OCCURRING DURING CITY COUNCIL MEETINGS AND ARE SELF-EXPLANATORY (BELIEVE IT OR NOT).  (These are Baylor's words:  Controversy  The insertion of rationality, usually unintentional, into a given political discussion during city council meetings.)  OBVIOUSLY NONE OF THE AFOREMENTIONED ACTIONS ARE ALLOWED UNDER HIS COMMUNISTIC OUTLOOK.


HIS NEXT STATEMENT IS ALSO HIS ATTEMPT TO BE CUTE AND TO CONTINUE HIS RIDICULE OF ANYTHING OR ANYONE WHO STRIKES HIS FANCY.  (These are Baylor's words:  Discussion  At city council, any stray verbiage randomly issued as a means to avoid contemplation of the actual issue(s) at hand.)  I FEEL BAYLOR WANTS AND NEEDS TOTALITARIAN RULE OR NO RULE AT ALL (PART OF THAT COMMUNIST THING/IDEALS).


THERE HAVE BEEN A LOT OF NEW BUSINESSES LOCATING DOWNTOWN AND A LARGE GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE TIME, ENERGY, AND MONEY INVESTED.  THIS NEXT STATEMENT IS HOW HE FEELS THE CITIZENS OF NEW ALBANY THINK ABOUT THESE EFFORTS.  (These are Baylor's words:  Cracker Barrel  Long-awaited Nirvana for downtown revitalization advocates who really don’t understand downtown revitalization at all.)  DOES IT INFURIATE YOU AS MUCH AS ME AND MINE HOW SHORT HE SELLS THE CITIZENS OF NEW ALBANY WHO ARE TRYING THEIR DARNDEST TO SUCCEED?  


MR. BAYLOR TRIES TO MISLEAD THE PUBLIC IN HIS NEXT STATEMENT ABOUT EDIT.  THE MAYOR DECIDES WHERE HE WANTS ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT TO OCCUR AND THEN COMES TO THE COUNCIL FOR THE MONIES.  UNFORTUNATELY FOR CITIZENS OF NEW ALBANY, THE MAYOR AT ONE TIME WAS FOUND TO HAVE BOUGHT PERSONAL SUITS OUT OF EDIT.  THERE HAS RECENTLY BEEN LEGISLATION TRYING TO GET FUNDS, EVEN IF THEY ARE FROM EDIT, TO GET OUR CITY OUT OF THE HOLE.  NO, BAYLOR DOESN'T SEE IT THIS WAY (NOR THAT WAY) AND HAS MORE TO GRIPE ABOUT.  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  EDIT  Crucial economic development monies designed to remain inert until needed by office holders as penny-wise, pound-foolish subsidies, rather than economic development monies.)  DIDN'T HIS PATIO COME OUT OF EDIT?  MAYBE I'M GENERALIZING LIKE HIM.  HEAVEN FORBID.


MR. BAYLOR ALSO TRIES TO RIDE HERD ON ALL BLOGS MAINTAINING YOU MAY BE THE WORST OF THE WORST IF YOU DO NOT PUT YOUR NAME TO OPINIONS YOU MAY HAVE.  TO A LOT OF PEOPLE IT IS SIMPLY HIS DESIRE TO CONTROL SPEECH AND TO LAMBASTE ANYONE WHO DOES NOT AGREE WITH HIS THOUGHTS.  AS LEGAL BEAGLE PUTS IT, HE IS A COWARD BEHIND A KEYBOARD AND A CYBER BULLY.  I AGREE.  THERE ARE FOUR BLOGS IN NEW ALBANY.  NEW VOICE OF THE PEOPLE (WHO REVIEW COMMENTS BEFORE BEING PUBLISHED); CITY OF NEW ALBANY (WHO DEMANDS YOUR NAME); FREEDOMOFSPEECH (WHICH DOES NOT ALLOW COMMENTS OF ANY KIND); AND KITCHENTABLEISSUES (WHERE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR NAME).  WELL, IF YOU GO ANONYMOUS ON TWO OF THE BLOGS WHO ALLOW SAME YOU ARE A NO GOOD ROTTEN SO AND SO.  JUST ASK MR. BAYLOR.  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  Freedom of Speech  1. Local blog that does not allow reader comments  2. Condition that applies to you but not the person with whom you disagree.)  NO ONE AGREES WITH EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME, DUH.


THIS NEXT DEFINITION, AS BAYLOR CALLS IT, IS HANDICAPPING.  THIS SEEMS TO BE ANOTHER ATTEMPT ON HIS PART TO SIMPLY BE CUTE:  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  Handicapping  A New Albany voter’s perpetual calculation: Is an incorruptible politician who is wrong 100 percent of the time better or worse than a corruptible politician who is right half the time?)  YEAH, I THINK I WANT INCORRUPTIBLE POLITICIANS THOUGH THE GOOD LORD KNOWS THEY ARE HARD TO FIND.


WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPY HOUR IS (WHOOPPEE).  BUT, THIS SENTENCE SHOULD SERVE TO REMIND ALL READERS HOW MR. BAYLOR DOES BRING HIS FLASK  IN AND IS USUALLY SLAP HAPPY WHILE OBSERVING COUNCIL MEETINGS (ALONG WITH HIS BUDDIES).  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  Happy Hour  60 affectionate minutes with your hip flask before the council meeting starts.)


THE HISTORICAL PRESERVATION COMMISSION IS SOMETHING MOST OF US AGREE ON.  WHERE WE MAY DISAGREE IS THE FACT SOME HOUSES ARE PAST BEING PRESERVED AND A WASTE OF TIME AND GOOD MONEY.  RATHER THAN GOING AFTER THE ADMINISTRATION WHO ALLOWED THESE PROPERTIES TO FALL DOWN INTO DISREPAIR AND DID NOTHING UNTIL PRIVATE CITIZENS HELPED FORM THIS GROUP BAYLOR TENDS TO SIMPLY LAMBASTE CITIZENS WITH NO CREDIT GIVEN TO THE ONES WHO HAVE FOUGHT FOR CODE ENFORCEMENT FOR OVER 20 YEARS.  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  Historical Preservation Commission  Power-hungry zealots who refuse to admit that the rental property you’ve chronically neglected for decades merely is a dilapidated building suitable only for tenants.)


SOME PEOPLE FEEL THE HISTORICAL PRESERVATION COMMITTEE SHOULD CONSIST OF ELECTED OFFICIALS (NOT POLITICAL APPOINTEES ON POWER TRIPS) HAS BAYLOR FEELING AND WRITING THE FOLLOWING (WHAT I ASSUME AGAIN HE CONSIDERS CUTE) WORDS:  (This is Mr. Baylor's words:  Infinite Monkey Theorem  Expression of mathematical probability suggesting that if given enough time, an ape typing at random would eventually write Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” — or an ordinance outlawing the Historical Preservation Commission.)


I WOULD GUESS THE WHOLE TOWN KNOWS OF MR. BAYLOR'S AVERSION TO LARRY KOCHERT.  AND, I WOULD ASSUME THE WHOLE TOWN KNOWS OF MR. KOCHERT'S AVERSION TO MR. BAYLOR.  TO THIS DAY, AFTER FOUR YEARS, MR. BAYLOR STILL FEELS THE NEED TO RUN MR. KOCHERT DOWN ANY CHANCE HE GETS.  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  Leotards  Skin-tight leg wraps that threaten the fragile masculinity of a former Gang of Four council stalwart; also called “tights,” as in, “Let’s all get tights, and vote in my garage for a change.”)  WHAT MR. BAYLOR MAY NOT UNDERSTAND IS WHAT THE REST OF THE PEOPLE THINK ABOUT HIM, HA HA HA.


SINCE MR. BAYLOR CONSIDERS HIMSELF A FLOYD COUNTY SNOB AND THE CITY OF NEW ALBANY IS BENEATH HIM (WHILE FOR THE LIFE OF ME I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY HE WANTS OUR MONEY AND THINK WE CARE WHAT HE THINKS -- HERE ARE HIS WORDS SUMMING UP THE TRUE MEANING OF A FLOYD COUNTY SNOB:  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  New Albany Bicentennial  A time for remembering what it was like in 1813, and for accepting that we’re mostly still there.)  NEW ALBANY HAS COME A LONG WAY BABY, WITHOUT YOUR HELP, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.


THE NEXT SHOT IS AGAIN AIMED AT THE CITIZENS AND THEIR ELECTED COUNCIL REPRESENTATIVES AND HOW WE CAN NEVER EVER POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND WHY THE OLD NEW ALBANY BREAD STORE GOT A BEER MONUMENT PLACED IN FRONT OF BAYLOR'S BUSINESS.  MOST OF US FEEL THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A LOAF OF BREAD PUT THERE.  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  New Albany Bicentennial Public Art Project  Placements of art intended for the edification of the common man, consequently eluding the comprehension of the council members whose downtown districts house them.)


THESE NEXT WORDS, AGAIN, INSINUATE HOW ALL CITIZENS OF NEW ALBANY ARE IGNORANT, SUPERSTITIOUS AND BACKWARDS.  HOW LONG DOES HE THINK HE CAN KEEP INSULTING THE GOOD PEOPLE OF NEW ALBANY?  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  
Open Air Museum of Ignorance, Superstition and Backwardness   1. Citywide folkways theme park devoted to the reality of life in New Albany: “We have met the enemy, and he is us.”  2. “Give us more fish. Don’t you dare teach us how to fish.”  3. Place where tolls (in squandered modernity) already are being collected.)


THE NEIGHBORHOOD PARKING PERMIT ISSUE WAS BROUGHT BY A CITIZEN IN NEW ALBANY (DOES MR. BULLEIT KNOW ABOUT THIS) AND THESE WORDS ARE SIMPLY A MOCKERY OF SAME, WHETHER ANY OF US AGREED OR DISAGREED WITH THE LEGISLATION (WHICH I DIDN'T).  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  Neighborhood Parking Permit
A plan to surrender public street space for private use, to appease private property owners who are unwilling to give up their own privately held property for the exact same purpose (JG).)


ANOTHER BURR UNDER BAYLOR'S SADDLE IS ONE SOUTHERN INDIANA.  WE DON'T LIKE THIS GROUP OF PEOPLE NOR APPROVE OF THEIR METHODS AND THEIR INTENT ON GETTING TOLLS, BUT WE ARE SO TIRED OF HIM GOING ON AND ON ABOUT 1SI, CLERE, ETC.  DO YOU THINK HE WILL EVER UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH HE REPEATS AND HOW TIRESOME IT BECOMES?  I DON'T THINK SO.  ANYWAY.  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  One Southern Indiana  1. Organization dedicated to preserving the wealth of its highest-standing members by erecting a wall running the length of the Ohio River.  2. Synonym for “blatant hypocrisy.”)


THE NEXT DESCRIPTION OF WORDS REFLECTS HOW MUCH HE DOES DRINK AND HOW MUCH HE HATES IT WHEN HE RUNS OUT OF LIQUOR AT COUNCIL MEETINGS:  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  Post-Partum Depression  Your empty flask after the council meeting.)  SEEING IT IS STILL IMPOSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO HAVE A BABY, I GUESS HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT A SERIOUS ILLNESS POST-PARTUM DEPRESSION IS NOR HOW MANY PEOPLE HE MAY HAVE OFFENDED COMPARING THIS ILLNESS TO AN EMPTY FLASK OF LIQUOR.


THERE ARE NUMEROUS CITIZENS AND CHRISTIANS WHO DECRIED AN OPENING OF A PORN SHOP ACROSS FROM A CHURCH AND AT A SCHOOL BUS STOP.  BUT, WITH MR. BAYLOR'S SELF PROCLAIMED HEDONISTIC WAYS WE CAN UNDERSTAND HIS FEELINGS ON THE FOLLOWING.  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  Reclaim Our Culture Kentuckiana (ROCK)  Group suffering from a chronic allergy to 2010 calendars, and seeking the curative measure of “reclaiming” things they cannot define, because those things never existed. See also: Torquemada Twist, Wickensianism (no such word).)


AGAIN, WE ALL KNOW HOW MR. BAYLOR FEELS ABOUT GOVERNOR DANIELS.  WE MAY OR MAY NOT LIKE HIM EITHER, OR MAY NOT LIKE SOME LEGISLATION, BUT BAYLOR DOES GO ON AND ON.  THERE HAVE BEEN A LOT OF ISSUES OR PEOPLE I HAVE VOTED FOR TO NO AVAIL BUT BY GOSH I AM ABLE TO MOVE ON.  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  Saint Daniels The reason why we have incense, prayer, One Southern Indiana, charter schools and bridge tolls.)


WHEN THE LOCAL SCHOOL SYSTEM ROLLED OUT THE 60 MILLION DOLLAR BOND ISSUES A LOT OF GOOD CITIZENS FOUGHT THIS ISSUE ESPECIALLY WHEN IT WAS PUT ON OUR BACKS WITH PROPERTY TAXES.  SOME OF US STILL MAINTAIN THIS IS WHY LOCAL SCHOOLS WERE CLOSED AND WAS NOT DUE TO MR. CLERE BUT LIES ON THE BACK OF OUR THEN UNELECTED SCHOOL BOARD.  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  School closings  1. Rituals of solemn necessity preceding a pay increase for an impoverished superintendent.
2. A heaven-sent occasion for conniving school board members, often Republicans, to plot their next political campaigns.  3. An atrocity that Superman (R-72) curiously missed.)


THE ONGOING SEWER FIASCO IN NEW ALBANY WHERE HOUSES AND BUSINESSES ARE STILL NOT BEING SERVED HAD TWO PEOPLE WHO ATTENDED EVERY SEWER BOARD MEETING AND SPENT UNTOLD HOURS TRYING TO BRING NEW ALBANY INTO A CLEAN ENVIRONMENT.  THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT SENDING SEWAGE DOWN PAST THE MAYOR'S HOUSE AS THE SEWERS LITERALLY WERE/ARE STILL GOING INTO THE OHIO RIVER.  BUT, MR. BAYLOR'S WORDS ARE SIMPLY SELF-SERVING AND SHOWS HIS LACK OF RESPECT FOR OUR NATURAL RESOURCES AND THE POLLUTION THIS CITY ADDS TO THE OHIO RIVER.  SIMPLY ANOTHER WAY TO GET HIS ROCKS OFF AT OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPENSE.  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  Sewergeddon  The Potty Police’s plan to employ diggers and reclaim the city’s culture by flushing raw sewage through street-side ditches past the mayor’s house, at a fraction of the cost of conventional sewage treatment.)  HE MUST NOT HAVE BEEN AROUND WHEN THE SEWAGE WAS RUNNING PAST RESIDENTS HOMES AND  ALL OF THE HOUSES ON MAIN STREET WENT DIRECTLY INTO THE OHIO RIVER AFTER RESIDENTS RECEIVED SEWER BILLS FOR TWENTY YEARS.  ISN'T THAT MAIL FRAUD - RECEIVING A BILL FOR SERVICES NOT RENDERED?  DOES HE CARE?  DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH.  HE'S THE JOKE.


AND, LAST BUT NOT LEAST, STEVE PRICE.  MR. BAYLOR WILL BE GLAD TO HEAR THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS WHO WANT TO RUN AGAINST MR. PRICE IN THE UPCOMING ELECTION BECAUSE THEY LIKE HIM.  IF I COULD THINK OF ONE THING MR. PRICE VOTED NO ON THAT IMPEDED MR. BAYLOR'S AGENDA MAYBE I COULD GO THERE.  BUT, THE ADMINISTRATION'S AGENDA (ENGLAND'S) HAS ALWAYS TRIUMPHED AND TO HELL WITH THE BUDGETS, OVER STAFFING, WASTE OF THE MONEY, ETC.  JUST KEEP SAYING NO, STEVE.  WE STAND BEHIND YOU.  (These are Mr. Baylor's words:  Steve Price  Synonym for “no,” spoken in Dewey Heights dialect. )  BY THE WAY, A LOT OF GOOD PEOPLE WERE BORN AND RAISED IN THE DEWEY HEIGHTS DISTRICT AND YOU REALLY DO ALL A DISSERVICE.

NEXT????  SORRY FOR THE LONG POST, BUT YOU KNOW HOW IT IS WHEN YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH AN EGO MANIAC (MY DESCRIPTION).

I WOULD GO TO GREAT LENGTHS TO FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO NOT BELIEVE IN OUR GOOD LORD AND RELIGION, BUT TO HAVE YOU POST IN AN ARTICLE YOU WANTED US ALL TO PRAY FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WORK FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO LIFT THOSE KEGS SO YOU CAN MAKE MONEY REALLY TICKED ME OFF.  BUT, THIS SIMPLY MADE ME PRAY HARDER FOR YOU, NOT THEM.

Y A W N

Help us to refashion our most famous anti-fascist advertisement.

Readers, I need your help.

Pictured at left is the Great Taste of the Midwest program ad NABC purchased last August. Perhaps the finest outdoor beer fest in America, GTMW takes place each year in Madison, the state capital of Wisconsin, where Governor Walker retained his seat after a punishing recall fight earlier in 2012.

Meanwhile, Indiana's departing gubernatorial wunderkind is taking his talents to the Right Bank (of the Wabash, appropriately enough) and Purdue University, which apparently is slated for outsourcing, closure or being otherwise gutted.

It's worth noting that while the advertisement helped to stimulate another record year of "These Machines Kill Fascists" t-shirt sales in Madison (which helps us to pay the way for 14 NABC employees to attend GTMW), it prompted an entirely different reaction in quarters closer to home, one that reminded me of Federico Fellini's words: "Censorship is advertising paid by the government," or at the very least, nearby government officials.

But that was then; this is now. I'd love to purchase another program ad, so does anyone have ideas on how we might incorporate the "kill fascists" logo into something with a different and complementary theme?

“It’s becoming increasingly clear that ... Americans are developing a strong taste for high-quality, small-batch beer from independent brewers.”

With 95% of beer drinkers remaining to be converted, it is reasonable to believe that strong growth will continue.

BREWERS ASSOCIATION: CRAFT BREWING VOLUME HOPS 13 PERCENT

Total U.S. brewery count tops 2,000

Boulder, CO (March 26, 2012) — The Brewers Association, the trade association representing small and independent brewers, today released 2011 data on U.S. craft brewing. Craft brewers saw volume rise 13 percent, with a 15 percent increase in retail sales from 2010 to 2011, representing a total barrel increase of 1.3 million.

ON THE AVENUES: The musical year 2011, Part Two.

ON THE AVENUES: The musical year 2011, Part Two.

A weekly web column by Roger A. Baylor.

(Part one here)

Expanding one’s horizons does not preclude rediscovering old ones, or uncovering music previously ignored.

Appropriately, 2011 was the year I finally “got” Rush, the venerable Canadian trio that we saw perform at Louisville’s Yum Center in April. Where once there were two Rush CDs on the shelf, there now are 14. Belatedly, I see Rush’s music as both rocking and intelligent … and jeez, the dude sure can play the drums.

In early spring, a reading of Keith Richards’ rollicking autobiography prompted a brief revival of the Rolling Stones oeuvre, alongside the dissipated guitarist’s soulful solo recordings.

Similarly, a full-fledged re-examination of Pearl Jam’s body of work ensued after viewing Cameron Crowe’s hagiographic 20th anniversary rockumentary. While I hadn’t forgotten the group’s remarkable 1994 live performance backing Neil Young on his classic "Rockin’ in the Free World", their subsequent collaboration on Mirror Ball came out of the sleeve for the first time in a decade or longer, and impressed.

The year concluded with bundles of reissued joy: National Treasures: The Complete Singles, by Manic Street Preachers, and The Smiths Complete box set. These followed on the heels of U2’s remastered Achtung Baby; I opted for the bare bones version, not the budget-breaker with Bono’s facsimile sunglasses included as a bonus.

As for new releases I enjoyed this year, following is a semi-chronological rendering.

Guster … Easy Wonderful
Neon Trees … Habits
Two late breaking releases from 2010 kicked off my year. Guster has been around a while, and plays lighter, melodic adult contemporary fare. Neon Trees deals in a heavier brand of pop/rock, with a female drummer from New Albany and a big break opening shows for the Killers.

Twilight Singers … Dynamite Steps
Greg Dulli’s band Afghan Whigs were a 1990’s staple of mine, but even though – perhaps because – his bluesy voice seems fairly shredded at this point, the recurring themes of sex, drugs, sex, world-weariness, sex and pervasive, melancholic menace are newly compelling. While unnecessary, these days Dulli even allows an occasional ray of lyrical sunshine to peek through the angst. Just ignore it.

Decemberists … The King Is Dead
While certainly prolific, Decemberists had not previously captured my fancy, but plenty of airplay on 91.9 WFPK sold this early 2011 release, and also sent me into the back catalogue for a refresher course. Fewer, lengthier and more complex songs, plenty of the melodic hooks necessary to hold my attention, and a handful of Peter Buck guitar vignettes drew unrepentant R.E.M. comparisons -- perhaps a precursor of the latter’s overdue demise later in the year? Honestly, Collapse into Now did very little for me.

Duran Duran … All You Need Is Now
At long last, a producer (Mark Ronson) got through to the four remaining original members of Duran Duran and convinced them to commit a truly revolutionary act: Scrap the post-comeback, sub-par dance-inflected crappola, and let the band be gloriously pop again. The result is nothing short of miraculous: A latter-day sequel to the seminal 1980’s albums Rio and Seven the Ragged Tiger.

Gomez … Whatever’s On Your Mind
Ben Ottewell … Shapes and Shadows
Oddly, Ottewell’s solo album and the new Gomez collective effort both came out in the year’s first half. In basketball, that’s called bad spacing. For the uninitiated, Ottewell is one of three singers in Gomez, blessed with a distinctive voice, and who seems increasingly inclined toward ballads. These fill his solo album and are of quality, if not all exactly memorable. A handful of them also take pride of place on the more up-tempo Gomez disc, alongside some strong pieces featuring Ian Ball.

Arctic Monkeys … Suck It and See
Elbow … Build A Rocket Boys!
Radiohead … The King of Limbs
These three groups from England are great favorites. They have little in common in terms of sound, instead being united in my mind by lyrical excellence. The Arctic Monkeys conquered the UK in 2006, and only now have reached their mid-twenties, with a new set of songs that are unadorned, tight and focused. In the follow-up to its 2008 breakthrough The Seldom Seen Kid, Elbow introspectively channels The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society through a halcyon sieve for a new, fresher-faced demographic. Then there’s Radiohead, its members seemingly less than the sum of their components. Is there any reason for Thom Yorke not to be the voice of the Euro’s collapse?

Beady Eye … Different Gear, Still Speeding
Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds
Oasis broke out in 1993, broke down in the early 2000’s, and broke up in 2009. With the release of their inaugural “separate” projects, the brothers Gallagher confirmed exactly what Oasis fans suspected all along: Pick the best songs off each, and voila -- it’s a brand new Oasis album for 2011! Liam and the Oasis remnants rock harder; Noel has more melodic, far better songs … like we didn’t already know that.

Death Cab for Cutie … Codes and Keys
The CD was purchased on a whim to test the Crown Vic’s new minimalist audio system, and subsequently went on heavy rotation during July. Alternative pop with few guitars, sometimes chirpy, other times darker. Atmospheric, and suggesting that it’s time to hear what I’ve missed.

Red Hot Chili Peppers … I’m With You
A release filled with solid songs, thunderous instrumentation, periodically ludicrous lyrics and a quality roughly hinting at approaching maturity, although not just yet. “Brendan’s Death Song”, a tribute to one of the band’s early mentors, will now be standard listening for me in all funereal times. The song is a lamentation-turned-dirge, with a rousing, rocking conclusion.

My Morning Jacket … Circuital
After being only vaguely familiar with MMJ’s youthful Louisville period, I’ve gotten steadily more interested as the band has progressed. The profuse musical influences are as encyclopedic as ever, and it strikes this observer that we’re about to enter a fertile period in which Jim James functions at the peak of his powers.

Liam Finn … FOMO
Pajama Club (eponymous)
Shall we speak of familial musical talent? Bored in New Zealand, papa Neil and his wife Sharon decide to take up drums and bass, respectively, for the first time ever. They both sing, of course, and two other local musicians provide largely guitar-less electronic accompaniment to a series of pop numbers that benefit from the elder Finn’s congenital inability to write a bad song. Meanwhile, son Liam has a prime gig opening for Eddie Vedder’s ukulele shows, when not playing and recording killer tunes of his own – assuredly different from those penned by Neil and Uncle Tim, and yet retaining the quirk Finn family stamp.

Coldplay … Mylo Xyloto
These lads always have interested me, and perhaps alone among my peers, I fully appreciate Chris Martin’s pop perspective, oft repeated in interviews, that if given a choice, he always chooses the hook. However, his band now has arrived at the growth stage of importing someone called Rhianna (presumably a famous person – was she on American Idol or something?) to contribute a scant few lines to a bubbly song destined for I-pods in high schools everywhere across the nation. On the strength of a few melodies alone, this album made the usual impression despite gritted teeth, but I can feel my interest waning. Perhaps Justin Bieber can guest on the next platter?

Wild Beasts … Smother
One usually doesn’t see the words “hypnotic” and “falsetto” in a non-ironic sense, but they’re merited when considering this youthful band from obscure Cumbria. The music remains complex and theatrical, and artistic reach now is matching grasp, with an excess of overt sensuality that will envelop you if you let it.

Booker T. Jones … The Road from Memphis
Older readers will recall Booker T. and the MGs, the incredible and integrated (with Steve Cropper and Duck Dunn) house band at Stax during the record label’s heyday a million years ago. Their first hit (“Green Onions,” anyone?) came when they were in their teens and I was two. While The Road from Memphis is uneven, the instrumentals are stellar, and the blue-eyed soul of “Progress” with Jim James on vocals) is worth the price of admission.

My rock/pop songs of the year for 2011:

Neon Trees: “Animal”
Arctic Monkeys: “She’s Thunderstorms”
Fleet Foxes: “Helplessness Blues”
Decemberists: “Rox in the Box”
Twilight Singers: “On the Corner”
Duran Duran: “Leave a Light On”
Liam Finn: “Cold Feet”
Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds: “If I Had A Gun”
Booker T. Jones: “Progress” (with Jim James)
Gomez: “Our Goodbye”
Ry Cooder: “No Banker Left Behind”
Red Hot Chili Peppers: “Brendan’s Death Song”
Bon Iver: “Holocene”
The Feeling: “Say No”

Postscript: Yes, I realize there are no female singers or acts listed herein. The omission reflects “as the cookie crumbles,” not any variety of overt sexism. I tried to like Feist, and probably would have listed Adele’s 21, if not for the subsequent tour rider fiasco in which the British singer’s camp stupidly denigrated North American beers she/they have not ever tasted. Roger freely espouses ideology, and Adele suffers accordingly. So be it, babe.

Kicking ass downtown.

Verily, there were hordes afoot in downtown New Albany yesterday for the various holiday kickoff activities, which generally were being referred to as the Jingle Walk.

Frankly, it was amazing.

I took no photos, because they all would turn out the same: Lots and lots of people milling around eateries and shops, few of which existed five years ago. One man lunching at Bank Street prior to setting off for the wine tastings with his wife asked me, “How has this happened? I grew up here and there wasn’t anything downtown, but now … ”

There are lengthy explanations, of course, but perhaps the most interesting single aspect of New Albany’s downtown regeneration is that it has occurred in spite of recession and international economic chaos, and it is proceeding apace during the transportation dislocations of the Sherman Minton Bridge closing.

A few days ago, The Keg Liquors officially opened its second location on Pearl Street. Early glimpses at the selection confirm that it will be a high-end kind of place, specializing in niche beverages.

That's the whole point of The Keg being there.

I’ve known the store’s owner, Todd Antz, for a while, and he is a promotional whirlwind whose presence in downtown’s epicenter stands to draw many people who wouldn’t ordinarily patronize the historic business district.

Just around the corner, the ongoing renovations at the former Fair Store have yielded spectacular results. Quill’s is about to open its coffee shop, with beans roasted on-site. A few feet away, an upscale cigar emporium called Billow also will be debuting within days. It includes a walk-in humidor and a fully ventilated smoking lounge. The sleek interior redesign accommodating both these new entities is jaw-dropping; Jenna and Thomas deserve plaudits for seeing the changes through.

All these collective investments and improvements, all these newcomers, and all this progress – and all of it mysteriously achieved without the presence of a single big box chain store and without the massive governmental subsidies that make the big-box exurb possible.

It has happened downtown, and it is working, precisely because the preferred ethos is different -- by design.

We must continue to find the ones who get it, reinforce their experience, and gradually wean them off the standard contemporary cookie-cutter fare. The process is difficult, and it takes time. It’s also rewarding as hell, and reminds me of why I love what I do. Yesterday was just such an affirming experience, and I’m feeling renewed enthusiasm. I hope you are, too.

ON THE AVENUES: Meet the new reshuffle.

ON THE AVENUES: Meet the new reshuffle.

A weekly web column by Roger A. Baylor.

"The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with either a dead girl or a live boy."
-- Louisiana governor Edwin Edwards

Tuesday’s results proved conclusively that an independent candidate dares not defy the two-party political establishment, and cannot hope to win a contested race in the city of New Albany – in fact, an independent cannot even come close, even after planting more yard signs than his opponent and declaring victory two weeks prior to election day.

That is, unless the independent candidate is Scott Blair.

The local political lexicon is now enriched, because in the 6th district, “pulling a Blair” now means not “pulling” a straight party lever. This bodes well for the future. Straight party voting should be removed as a ballot option, and what’s more, local races should be rigidly non-partisan. If they were, we’d be spared the indignity of Republicans demanding recounts (I seem to recall them opposing the concept in Florida way back in the year 2000).

Will the congenitally ineffective GOP chairman Dave Matthews endorse my reverse historical analogy and scurry to the state attorney general’s office for relief if Diane Benedetti’s 21-vote lead holds? Let’s hope so, because I could use a laugh.

Or, perhaps Ed Clere will introduce legislation to redress the municipal voting imbalance by introducing a new, innovative, St. Daniels-approved user fee for voting, not a poll tax per se, but the joyful, semantic improvement offered by a Poll Toll: Buy a coupon book of existing Ohio River bridge crossings, and get a Republican ballot absolutely free of charge.

(Alas, it’s just bad karma to campaign on behalf of any candidate who feeds his sign-planting workers mega-chain pizza.)

Speaking of pervasive Daniels envy, what are the odds of Doug England’s ballot-box-enforced “retirement” being permanent?

I asked the Green Mouse, who took a deep drag from his unfiltered Kool before responding: Nothing possibly could exceed the entertainment value of Hizzoner declaring for the House 72 seat currently occupied by Ed Clere. With Irv Stumler as titular England campaign manager, the vicious and predatory atmosphere of an epochal presidential election year would be the ideal moment to call in every accumulated marker from a lifetime in politics, and use the money to hammer the Republican incumbent both personally and mercilessly. Of course, it would be utterly futile, and Clere would win big nonetheless, but generational scores finally would be settled.

If a miracle occurred and England actually won, there’s already a deputy representative in waiting.

England and Jeffersonville’s deposed Tom Galligan are larger-than-life personalities accustomed to giving orders, not taking them. Both returned from the political wilderness to serve additional terms, and neither brought their A-games with them for a third ride on the merry-go-round. Now they’re back on the outside looking in, which is a place neither of them has ever been comfortable occupying.

In Jeffersonville, Galligan’s canal-side EPA edification plan has been unceremoniously aborted. Here in New Albany, Democratic party chairman John Wilcox tells One Southern Indiana Newspaper that, “(England) has made a change in New Albany that has never been duplicated and probably never will be duplicated.”

But nepotism as governing principle seems constantly duplicable. How’s that “change” working for you, anyway?

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Once the new city council is seated, it would be unwise for anyone to bet against a resumption of the bile and acrimony engendered by the Greatly Unnecessary Smoking Debate of 2008. As I noted last evening, four of 2008’s anti-smoking voters return to their 3rd floor chairs. A fifth in favor of banning indoor smoking ban almost surely will be found among the three incoming rookie council persons. Jeff Gahan, who favored the smoke-out in 2008, now occupies the mayor’s office, meaning that another veto is unlikely.

Alas, the city’s cigarette smokers may no longer have friends in high places.

Speaking personally, I’ve precious little stomach for a return to the naked savagery of the 2008 scrum. Reviewing the written record of that time, I am surprised anew at the mutable shape of alliances on the smoking issue. Reliably as ever, Steve Price was against the ban, but Dan Coffey was for it. I pilloried council president Gahan for his pro-ban stance at the time, and then blackened his mayoral oval two days ago. Jack Messer opposed the smoking measure in 2008, and did not receive my vote for chief executive. Bedfellows seldom have been as strange as they were when indoor smoking was the topic, and when (not if) an ordinance returns to the floor, the sheets may rustle yet again. Don’t they always?

To Shirley Baird, Scott Blair and Greg Phipps: The door-to-door campaigning is about to return to your lives, except this time, it’ll be Tim Filler standing on your porches. I recommend slamming the door in his face.

---

Well, well.

Coffey dominated the hermetic 1st, and Jessica Knable, while losing, closed the GOP gap in CeeSaw’s 2nd. With the advent of Greg Phipps, the 3rd district belatedly achieves recognition as part of the city. When outgoing uncouncilperson Steve Price casts his final “no” vote on December 15, he’ll be serenaded by a karaoke version of the Manic Street Preachers’ “If You Tolerate This, Then Your Children Will Be Next.” That’ll be me, on amplified kazoo.

Pat’s back in the 4th, and at the musty King Kochert Memorial Museum of Back Alley Garage Polling Stations, rusty pins are being jammed into a spandex-clad voodoo doll. Diane Benedetti found 52% unattainable in both her 5th district 2011 council races, and yet she remains standing, albeit (politically) wobbly, with or without her other, variably interchangeable family name. As previously observed, Blair cleaned house in the 6th, making future mayoral contests potentially fascinating – assuming, of course, that Blair’s smashing win came without the new mayor’s assistance.

As expected, John Gonder and Kevin Zurschmiede resume their at-large council careers. They are joined by Shirley Baird, whose life lesson in very narrowly losing an at-large nomination to the superannuated Jimmy Hollis in the 2007 Democratic primary was to bind herself as tightly as possible to the party establishment. Now, having triumphed, she can be expected to follow the direction of the party establishment, which never exists in any substantive way once the last vote in any election is counted. With Jethro gone, who will she turn to? Only the Green Mouse knows, and he isn’t talking.

Mayor Gahan’s 64% appears impregnable, and will remain so until his 7-1-1 council majority turns on him at the second meeting in January. Then, at last, we can begin drinking heavily in preparation for the four-year siege of underachievement about to come. At least we’ll have our River View for consolation.

All four of my votes were cast for winning candidates.

Is that good, or bad?