By request: Further non-boring discussion about strippers.

Yesterday, almost two weeks after NAC broke the II Horseshoes strip club story and examined the contents of the seven-year-old ordinance that supposedly regulates economic development of this sordid variety, the Tribune provided City Hall with a de facto forum to declare its impotence when it comes to enforcement of its own laws.

Is there a type of Viagra to assist in this sort of dysfunction? Stupid question, I suppose, considering that we wouldn't be able to afford it even if Steve Price didn't vote against it.

Strip club doesn’t meet New Albany city ordinance, by Daniel Suddeath.

… (New Albany City Councilman Dan) Coffey figured he would know about II Horseshoes Gentleman’s Club, which opened two weeks ago at 1720 Old River Road, since a 2001 ordinance passed by the council
requires adult entertainment clubs to pay heavy fees to locate in the city.

“Something like this doesn’t happen without somebody knowing about it,” he said.

City Attorney Shane Gibson does know about it, but said the standing ordinance would likely fail in court if the city attempts to enforce it …

… Gibson said the ordinance was patterned after laws from other cities. The only problem is many of those cities have lost court cases trying to
uphold those measures, according to Gibson.

“I think most people who would look at the ordinance would say it clearly restricts freedom of speech,” Gibson said, adding he consulted other legal experts about the ordinance before deciding not to pursue the fees from II Horseshoes.

Gibson believes there are 10 areas in the ordinance that wouldn’t be upheld by courts. He said in tough economic times for the city, risking losing money in a shaky legal case wouldn’t be wise.

Attorney Gibson’s reasoning is impeccable within the constraining framework of the city’s traditional mantra of despair in the face of heavy lifting.

When your civic motto is, “we can’t,” it makes perfect sense for common councilmen to write an unenforceable, perhaps unconstitutional law, then for all to obliviously sit tight for as long as it takes for an enterprising individual or company to learn that it’s little more than shadow puppetry, and to violate it with impunity.

To do otherwise would come dangerously close to the quality widely known as “pro-active,” which was banned from the city limits of the Open Air Museum at some point prior to the Civil War. The disgraced Millard Fillmore may have had some role in it ... or was that Aaron Burr?

What has yet to be explained in this latest sad episode of jaw-dropping municipal flaccidity is how the II Horseshoes case came to land atop the city attorney’s desk in the first place.

Understanding that no one wants to make this point aloud, but persisting in the belief that transparency in the best policy in the arena of governance -- especially coming from an administration that the author supports -- permit me to note that until this chronology is explicated, there remains the appearance that the longtime friendship and political alliance between Mayor England and the club’s ownership had something to do with the ordinance’s vetting prior to any effort at compliance.

There’s probably nothing to it, right? But for the sake of honesty and communication, wouldn’t it be better to acknowledge the awkward nature of the situation, and aggressively head off the criticism rather than permit blogs and the local newspaper to expose it for you?

Pro-active. Transparent. Communicative.

Is it really something in the water hereabouts that suppresses the gag reflex at times like this?

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Previously at NAC:

Did he do it? Can they do it? Do it to us one more time?

Live adult entertainment ordinance: The words stir passions, but is foreplay enough?

Council agenda slim -- time for a field trip to the II Horseshoes?

It may be time to end my self-imposed exile and attend a council meeting, if for no other reason than to hear what the council president has in mind for New Albany’s tithe to One Southern Indiana – an idea that first surfaced so long ago that I can’t even locate our archival reference to it.

(Not really … I just don’t feel like looking.)

NEW ALBANY: City Council to set elected officials salary, by Daniel Suddeath (News and Tribune).

The New Albany City Council has a light agenda for its first meeting of December, scheduled for 7:30 p.m. Monday. Only three ordinances and resolutions are set to go before the council: a resolution providing money for homeless services at Haven House, an ordinance setting salaries for elected officials and an ordinance to establish funds for local economic impact groups.

I'll take Daniel's word for it; last time I checked, the agenda wasn't yet on-line.

Could tonight be the long-awaited occasion when the fireworks finally begin popping and one or another of the council persons (Cappuccino remains my choice) picks the perfect spot to grandstand on the general topic of the West End porno invasion, i.e., the II Horseshoes Gentleman’s Club?

(Psst ... wanna brief gander at the atmosphere being conveyed right across the street from the mayor’s historic pad?)

Check out this link: What, you were expecting good taste?

Umm, racy wallpaper, eh? There's nothing quite like strippers locking lips to make a man crave Bud Light -- or frot row seats at a R.O.C.K. rally.

Did he do it? Can they do it? Do it to us one more time?

Our informants have said that at a recent meeting to discuss progress toward the city’s master plan for riverfront development, 1st district councilman Dan Coffey informed those assembled that a new adult-oriented business had commenced operation in New Albany.

Tonight’s city council meeting began a few minutes ago, and obviously, I’m not in attendance. Since I have a hunch that Coffey will choose public official communication time tonight to reveal this factoid to the general public, I thought it would be courteous to allow him unfettered grandstanding time, which is why I’m waiting until now to note that the business in question appears to be located at the former Rustic Frog property by the river, just within the city limits west of the center.

It’s now called 2 Horseshoes (groan), and is being touted by its backers as a “gentleman’s club.” Based on the testimony passed on to me, it appears to fall well within the regulatory boundaries of the 7-year-old adult entertainment ordinance discussed earlier today in this space.

Live adult entertainment ordinance: The words stir passions, but is foreplay enough?

Whether any of this ultimately matters has yet to be determined. It appears that the ordinance itself is undergoing scrutiny by the city attorney – at this late date, all these years after it was written into law.

Don't get me wrong. I personally haven’t the slightest interest in business models like a pole dancing emporium, primarily because I know that tackiness is an intrinsic American phenomenon, and as such, incapable of being eradicated. Suckers are born every minute, and so are morons. But, to me, it’s just another example of the city’s own laws being selectively enforced, and to the detriment of efforts to pull this backwater out of the Dark Ages.

Just once, it would be nice to be proven wrong on this point.

Alas, we haven’t been. Perhaps ROCK can arrange a Biblical flood to achieve what mere mortals apparently cannot. Until then, hypocrisy remains the order of the day in NA.