Water Parking: Wait no more, for the Great Oz has spoken.

Fundamentally cleaner.

Mayor Jeff Gahan has faxed a statement from the surreal depths of his down-low bunker.

Holy Family has been a great neighbor to our facility, and we appreciate the church leaders working with us as we move forward to ensure a mutually beneficial relationship.

He refers to this:

ON THE AVENUES: A citizen's eloquent complaint about the parking debacle at River Run reminds us that planners and brooms go hand in hand.

 ... The city and mayor has brought a great hardship on my parish community of Holy Family. We have had to barricade our parking lot off to the general public so we can have parking for our parishioners, especially our senior citizens. Unfortunately the busiest times of the new water park coincide with the busiest times of our parish community.

Jeff Gahan's team of campaign finance monetizers couldn't have come up with a more auto-centric water park, but they've somehow managed to make it even worse -- and where have you heard this before? -- through a complete and comprehensive failure to communicate with the neighborhood around River Run.

Now it's on television.

 ... The temporary solution to the problem comes in the form of a five minute walk down the road to a makeshift lot with about 50 parking spaces.

“I don't want the neighbors to be inconvenienced, but at the same time I don't want to drive anybody away from our park,” said Mayor Gahan.

Or. as a friend states it:

The city's asking patrons of the new pool to park on the corner of Green Valley Rd & W Daisy Ln - the lot where McCartin tore down the arts and crafts house. The grass roped off with perky little signs reading "Pool Parking."

So folks are supposed to park on someone's private property, walk alongside a busy street with no sidewalks, trespassing as they come and go - what a planned project!

Gahan insists he has read Jeff Speck's book, and secretly advocates principles of walkability so long as no one sees or hears him do so, but still, this isn't at all what Speck had in mind.

Of course, amid the parking fiasco, previous truths remain just as glaringly evident: The water park cost $9 million payable by your grandchildren; it's in the wrong place; it can be used only a few months out of the year; we might have had neighborhood splash pads and a regulation pool for swimming (imagine that) for equal or probably less expense; there's been no accounting for future upkeep; it does nothing to keep our young people from fleeing town ... and on, and on.

See also: ON THE AVENUES: "Water on the brains: Much less for far more will keep us swimming in it."