A Candidate's Progress (1): Wet feet and strategy.

Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
-- Elbert Hubbard

It’s always a good idea to test new material before a live barroom audience, and so in the ten days since I filed to run for city council at-large, there have been numerous rehearsals undertaken with cool, challenging Progressive Pints firmly in hand.

And why not? Habitats and goals occasionally intertwine. There was a period in American history when the pub was the most ideal place for a stirring stump speech, and you must admit there is a certain economy to scheduling campaign stops not only where voters congregate, but where I spend much of my free time, anyway. If I began materializing at church functions, you can easily imagine the incredulous reaction, which would be justified.

Or, to be more succinct: I’m 50 years old, lived and written a largely public life, and there’s no use trying to kid anyone. As for all the wonderful things that political aspirants cite by rote as justification for electing them to office, some of them probably apply to me, too, and overall, I’ve had my moments, but somewhere hidden within several hundred thousands words belched into the record over a quarter century awaits the perfect phrase for hoisting me on my own petard.

I’ve been remarkably distant from the concept of kissing babies, and dating back to my younger, hormonal years, numerous locals have witnessed episodes of boorishness and misbehavior, often fueled by alcohol. More recently, I publicly referred to another current candidate as a lying bitch and was quoted (though not refuted, natch) in the newspaper. Nope, can’t say I didn’t know what I was doing, refrained from inhaling, or was victimized by Satanic possession.

Consequently, there’s little use either denying or worrying about any of it. The best way to proceed is to be myself, because it’s both the easiest and least stressful way, although strangely, what is proving to be fractionally harder is briefly summarizing a platform, one built to withstand the sort of criticism the likes of which I’d be the very first to level against it were the shoes on other feet.

As this series of ruminations unfolds in the coming weeks, I’ll make it to the goal of defining specific platform planks. However, first there is the task of answering the basic,, beginning question of why on earth I want to occupy a seat at the council table.

To answer it, let’s begin with negations. I’m not doing it because of political ambition, or out of boredom. I’m not doing it for the money, or because “government should be run like a business” and the accompanying truism that all businessmen automatically qualify to prove the axiom; the cult of adoration for business people is what One Southern Indiana worships, not me, even though I am one.

Finally, I’m not doing it because attending those many council meetings for almost eight years as a blogging spectator has convinced me of how easy it is, and how much better I am than previous (and current) contestants.

Rather, I’m running for council out of the simple conviction, one shaped from all these experiences, both good and bad, that New Albany has considerable potential and can do far better as a city if it possesses a legislative body itself capable of performing at a higher level.

Precisely because life in the 21st century is complex, it isn’t enough to abuse and hector the skilled and knowledgeable, as has so often been the reaction of past councils to unfamiliar ideas and new ways of thinking. These must be embraced, sorted through, and applied to solving problems.

All of it applies to me as much as it does the city and the actions (or non-actions) of others. I’ve denounced the dysfunction, but too often participated in it. That’ll have to change, too, and I know it. It is my belief that when humans stop thinking, they might as well die. There’ll be much inner renovation to accompany the rest, and I look forward to the challenge.

There’ll be much more to say about this. For now, know that while I wouldn’t undertake to run a less than “serious” campaign, at the same time, I’m the judge of what is and is not serious as these considerations apply to my chosen mode of campaigning. To know me is to know that I thoroughly enjoy teaching, laughing, experiencing and learning. This is going to be fun, or it isn’t going to “be” at all.

Time is scarce, and tactics will have to be improvisational and “guerrilla”, which works for me, since word of mouth has been just about the only form of advertising that my company’s ever been able to afford since 1992, when we began doing the supposedly “impossible” and luring spending Kentuckians to Indiana via as-yet non-tolled Ohio River bridges.

Wait … there might be a platform plank there … what’s good for small business, what’s bad, buying local and attracting visitors … let me get to work on these, okay?