Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Servitude is for yellow journalists: Remove your yokes, and drink entirely legally in public, before voting.

As for me, I've never really trusted teetotalers.

I refer not to those who abstain from alcohol for personal, organic reasons -- don't like the flavor, don't like the sensation, and so on.

Rather, I speak of those who are "dry" out of doctrines political or religious -- or worse of all, both.

Today is primary election day, and while Indiana seems intent on fouling the long-held principle of neighborhood voting, at least (since 2010) we can get shit-faced drunk before doing so, publicly, in a genuine saloon surrounded by friends, countrymen and chicken wings. No longer must Democrats surreptitiously distribute half-pints of Kessler in the shadow of slumlord properties owned by its grandees; now, voters can be lubricated all at once, in a clean and well-lighted place, and charged to a credit card.

If this doesn't render you misty-eyed and patriotic, then haul your butt off to Russia.

Unlike in depressing days of yore, New Albany's licensed drinking establishments are open and serving today. Please consider patronizing them. It makes you a better voter.


Iamhoosier said...

Uh, my previous "neighborhood" voting site is 1.3 miles from my house. Your new "must drive to site" is .8 miles from your house.(According to Google maps)

I'm sorry that you lost your site 2 blocks or whatever away from your house, but the majority of people never had one that close to start with.

The New Albanian said...

Is your new one closer, further, or the same?

Iamhoosier said...


Jeff Gillenwater said...

People in walkable neighborhoods had them. Now they don't. If one chooses to live in a non-walkable neighborhood and drive everywhere, that's their business but we shouldn't rig our elections to cater to them any more than we should our transportation spending. That's what got us in this mess to begin with.