Sunday, February 20, 2005

If Muzak is playing but there's no one around to hear it ...

Ed, a friend and mentor, came into the pub for a pint yesterday, and we chatted about what it’s like to live in the city of New Albany.

Our verdict: There are times when one must pause, take a deep breath, and have a good laugh. It’s either that, or curl up in a corner and cry all day.

It’s either that, or the cranium again explodes at the thought of the fear, stubbornness, passivity, stupidity, blindness and mediocrity.

But enough of New Albany’s “leadership” class.

Scratch off a lottery ticket, turn on NASCAR, pop open an ice-cold Miller Lite and smoke ‘em if you got ‘em as we consider a story by Gregory Hall in today’s Courier-Journal:

Making a scene Performers sing, recite at audition for roles in summer shows

“Performers sang and recited lines before Bob Trinkle, New Albany's riverfront director who also produces and directs shows at the French Lick facility. The auditions took place at the Kentucky International Convention Center.”

Whoa -- THE Bob Trinkle, erstwhile leader of the StoneDeaf Band and New Albany’s foremost professional altruist during the forgotten decade of the 1980’s?

The man who once entered Scoreboard Liquors, ostensibly to buy chewing gum, and asked, “why do you hate me,” and when informed that it wasn’t hate, it was satire, stated that he didn’t know what “satire” meant?

How fitting, perhaps even touching, that the man who gave his name to our beloved Trinkle Dome amphitheatre on the Ohio should be appointed the director of the riverfront.

Trinkle’s stewardship ensures that solid, family-style good taste will prevail … hey, wait, that’s it!

Suddenly, the solution to the city’s nagging New Albany DVD problem is at hand!

A StoneDeaf Band reunion at a benefit concert at the Trinkle Dome, and accompanying anti-porno telethon, with speaking slots for the Mullah Goebel and Councilman Dan “Wizard of Westside” Coffey … plenty of lemonade, weenies and elephant ears, and all proceeds going to buy a couple gallons of gasoline and a Bic to help send the evil pornographers packing.

Then, concerned citizen David Huckleberry could use the leftover flammables to roust the remaining bars and taverns downtown ... and we would be free to descend into a golden era of conformity, sterility and Third World taxation rates.

Okay, laughter’s done.

It’s crying time again …

3 comments:

Dan and Denise said...

yet again I get my tri-weekly chorkle....thanks

edward parish said...

Perhaps newcomers to our community could see what we are saying if they would spend just 5 or 10 minutes with Carl Malysz. He would be the to tell the tales of beating ones head up aginst the wall, fore he did just that for years trying to get the locals to actually do something cool with the downtown. Unfortunately, he was canned by Ms. Overton iron glove. Someone will probably set me straight, but I think Carl was the person who got the sidewalks, etc project going a few years back. Beside all of that, he is a great guy.

ShineBox said...

Maybe Trinkle can book a Pink Floyd cover band to do a rendition of "The Wall" dedicated to the city of New Albany. I've always liked that song "You Better Run".