Dan Canon discusses the marriage equality case, 5 years on. Now is it the turn for racial justice?

Dan Canon's column in LEO Weekly last week. Click the link, read it all. We're very fortunate to have Dan, Valerie and their kids in the neighborhood.

Marriage equality case 5 years later: Can that victory be replicated for racial justice?

 ... My naiveté served me well. We went to the Supreme Court in 2015. We won.

I got my feather and hung it on my wall. Our clients, and millions of other people, can get married. I’ve been to lots of weddings over the last five years. I’ve even officiated a few. It feels good.

I suppose it’s for the best that I didn’t recognize then what I see clearly now: Of all the ways to try to bring about social change, filing a lawsuit and leaving it to a judge in the Midwest, or the South, or anywhere, is among the worst. As evidence, I offer a detail that is often lost in the retelling of the marriage cases: We lost. We lost in the court of appeals on our way to the Supreme Court. We lost in the court that presides over Kentucky, Ohio, Michigan and Tennessee. We lost in a court that hears hundreds of cases every year on police misconduct, inmates’ rights, immigration detention, free speech, abortion and every other hot-button issue anyone has ever cared about. We lost, just like the national organizations said we would. We lost, just like everyone loses. And since the Supreme Court takes so few cases, losing at that court is the end of the line for most people seeking to make change through what we think of as proper, respectable channels.

By the time we lost in the lower court, pro-marriage activists were accustomed to losing legal battles ...

 ... For now, I’ll celebrate our surprising win in an institution designed to make losers. I’ll celebrate the marriages of Tim and Larry, Greg and Michael, Kim and Tammy, Maurice and Dominique, Paul and Randy, and Luke and Jimmy. And even as the buzzards circle the great bird that gave me my defunct quill, I’ll celebrate what the marriage case stands for: The hope that the mythology of American equality can be realized, even if we don’t quite know the recipe for it.

Your Sunday must-read: "Relax, Ladies. Don’t Be So Uptight. You Know You Want It."

As a male of the species, one acknowledging his fair share of missteps and imperfections, it's unclear to me how best to introduce this essay apart from stating that it makes perfect sense.

What has NOT made perfect sense to me over the years are lingering and idiotic notions like male chauvinism, toxic masculinity and the doctrine of women as inferior beings, particularly those attached to some manner of supernatural sanction.

Pfui. That's plain rubbish.

Yes, there were times in my youth when I displayed overt symptoms of misogyny. I have no glib excuses for any of it, and I won't cop a plea. I'd dearly love to forget those times, but cannot, because it simply wouldn't be honest of me; besides, I learned from it. Eventually it dawned on me that I was dead wrong.

Being male is one thing, and being a dick is something else entirely.

Ever since then, I've tried my best to learn and improve. It's a work in progress, and a process of awareness, one that never ends. Who wants to be remembered as a sexist, racist, or homophobic turd? Not me. People are people: full stop. We may disagree, but it won't be because of your sex, race, or sexuality.

Your beer, on the other hand ...

Relax, Ladies. Don’t Be So Uptight. You Know You Want It, by Anastasia Basil (Medium)

Remember the ’80s, when men preferred Hanes and could legally rape their wives?

... Movies, ads, and TV shows of the ’80s were tailored to give your dad a testosterone boost and teach your brothers to be men. Strong, no-bullshit men, the kind who say what they think and take what they want. Grab ’em by the pussy kind of men. No way was your brother gay. Or you. Unless you were into threesomes. A girl could be into another girl, but only to feed the male gaze, then it was hot. If two women truly loved each other they were going to hell. Read your Leviticus, but first, let me ask you a little something. You’ve got pretty red hair. Is it naturally red? Why don’t you let me see if the carpet matches the drapes? Relax. Don’t be so uptight. You know you want it.

snip

We are all byproducts of a collective mindset. Those who question the mindset of their time and shine light on its moral defects are considered malcontents. And yet, it is malcontents like MLK who are (later) lauded as heroes — not for upholding America’s values, for shaping them. Here’s a fun game. Ask yourself: What strongly held opinion of mine will my grandchildren one day struggle to understand?

The 23 percent of Americans who supported civil rights in 1963 knew exactly what they were doing. They didn’t accidentally do the right thing. They weren’t accidentally on the right side of history. Instead of bullheaded allegiance, they questioned, examined, and took a knee to the moral defects of their time.

snip

Have you ever known someone who hasn’t changed their hair style in decades? They still have the bangs they had in seventh grade? There are people who haven’t changed their views since seventh grade, either. We shouldn’t use our present-day ideas and perspectives to judge the distant past (the Parthenon was built by slaves), but if someone drags an antiquated moral norm into the present, they should expect to be held in account.

final snip

I wonder… would today’s anti-feminists be yesterday’s anti-suffragettes? #WomenAgainstSusanBAnthony

Want to know what a feminist is? A feminist is a person who, instead of being the docile pet of their generation, rears back and bares their teeth. The idea that we no longer need feminism is absurd — it’s the equivalent of technology stopping at the floppy disc.

"For the decent straight men who are angered by a Trump presidency, four things you can do to help us all."

Perhaps the single most enjoyable part of 25 years in small business is when former employees proceed into their chosen worlds and excel. 

Earlier today I saw these comments on Shelly Biesel's page at Fb. She worked as a server at Bank Street Brewhouse a few years back, and now is a Graduate Research Assistant at the University of Georgia.

Shelly has given me permission to reprint, and her thoughts are below, verbatim. Speaking personally as an aging straight white male, I can do very little to change the world, but quite a lot to change me. Shelly's words are a much needed jolt amid the clamor. 

Get woke, guys. Read and think. There's no better place to start than your own mirror.

---

For the decent straight men who are angered by a Trump presidency, four things you can do to help us all.

Something that has given me solace in this dark time has been the decent men who have reached out to me and apologized. Apologized for the patriarchal society which has robbed women of this moment, and which has been so glaringly ugly throughout the entirety of this election campaign.

David, Kate's husband who sent our female friend group comforting words about the oppression he’s faced as a minority in America, acknowledging that we deserved this, and encouraging us to keep up the fight. Brian, who called me after Trump made vile brags about assaulting women, acknowledging the aggressive rape culture in which we live, and expressing frustration that misogyny is an everyday reality for women.

Many men who are scared of a Trump presidency and what it means for women have asked me about what we should do next.

Here is my advice for you (albeit hurried and preliminary):

1. Get woke. I promise you one thing, you don’t realize it, but everyday you participate in a patriarchal society, which treats women not only as sexualized objects but also as second-class citizens. The first thing to recognize is that fundamentally, we do not experience the same reality as you do. Women go throughout their days tolerating stares, comments, grabs, and sometimes assault or worse. Beyond that we have fewer opportunities, less pay for the work we do, and political representatives (80% male) making choices about our bodies and our lives. You can start to notice and acknowledge these differences, you can stand up for women in the boardrooms and locker rooms and restaurants and bars. You can educate yourselves about the lived realities of women—who knows even listen to radical women’s music and read feminist authors—and begin to understand the nuanced ways in which you (often unawares) participate in this system. You can choose to not tolerate micro-aggressions in male-to-male conversations, and even to support women’s movements with your time, energy and votes.

2. Take responsibility and be accountable for other white males. The white male vote put Trump into office: like it or not, that is your demographic. It is not okay now to stand back and say, “it’s not my fault, I didn’t do this.” You need to show up and do the work and start having the conversations with males about discourses that perpetuate and normalize rape culture, or confront those who feed on power over women in order to gain power for themselves. Do the difficult work of attempting to understanding how the grief of white males (who currently feel disenfranchised by our neoliberal economic order and disappointed by the broken promises of the American Dream) translates into what Susan Chiva called “toxic paroxysms of racism, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism and sexism” (I would add homophobia here).

Your gender is going through a dark time in history, you need to find ways to support fellow white males and combat this tide of grief and frustration in your gender group that ultimately has had (and will have) very violent consequences for women. YOU can lead and set examples for these men.

But first, you need to understand the ways deep-seated misogyny exists in you (and all of us, even women in the form of “internalized misogyny”). Only then can you root it out, only then can you help others root it out. In sum, be accountable and responsible for yourself first; then be accountable and responsible for other males in your demographic who have now elected this sexual aggressor for President.

3. This is important, ultimately, because you are oppressed by patriarchy too. Feminism is NOT about “taking power away from males,” it is about not using gender binaries as tools of domination and control. We ALL need to be liberated from the oppressive constraints of gender identity in this country. Because we will not progress in any fundamental way as long as we gain personal power through the domination and oppression of others.

4. To quote Michaela Angela Davis: it starts with “radical self-care and radical love.” Men are told they do not need self-care and love. These are qualities that patriarchal society has taught men to consider feminine and therefore somehow not relevant. Actually the opposite is true. When you love yourself you pay attention to things that are holding you back. In this country, idealized conceptions of masculinity that are glorified in popular media (just think about all the Marvel movies based on the premise of male saviors protecting us all from the ends of the earth), are out of control and ultimately oppressive. Through self-reflection you can begin to understand the ways that idealized masculinity privileges your gender but ultimately holds you back from liberation. None of us were born with consciousness about the privileged positions we are dealt in this world; by learning about our privilege, and loving ourselves enough to reflect on it with honesty and humility, we can confront and dismantle the deep seated inequalities at the root of this country. To be clear, I am not saying love yourself by not being critical of your behavior, I’m saying that sometimes love requires us to be critical of our internalized biases and take action against them. Only then can we truly love and honor each other as different but ultimately equal sexes. Some of you are already engaged in this work, and for you, I and most women are grateful. Keep up the good fight.

"So, no — when Clinton is elected, we will not enter a post-gender society. Instead, we will face another convulsion of bigotry from the defeated foes."

Nine white males on the New Albany Common Council ... and this excellent commentary by the editor of LEO. I usually read Erika Rucker's column, but little else. Maybe it's time to dig a little deeper.

EDITOR’S NOTE: No post-gender society, by Keith Stone (LEO)

Watching the Olympics, you cannot help but be mesmerized by the world-class female athletes who are killing it in their events and showing the world how to take absolutely no shit. Like 19-year-old Lilly King, who matched her outrage over Russian doping with an outrageously-fast, winning swim. Or Simone Biles, who may be the best female gymnast ever and whose performances in Rio drew cheers from teammates and competitors alike. And then there is Simone Manuel, the first African-American woman to win an individual gold medal in swimming.

Maybe their domination presages what could be America’s Year of The Woman. After all, in less than 100 days we choose between Cheeto-wrought, worldwide mayhem and electing the first female president ...

 ... Will we become gender-blind? ... Not.

"Faithophobia: Add it to the list of my crimes."

Sunday is the week's best day for reconsidering religion, don't you think?

Add faithophobia to my crimes: I have no respect for religions that have little respect for me, by Suzanne Moore (Guardian)

... Last week I asked for us to continue in our disrespect and I meant it. Why must I have respect for religions that have little respect for me? That seek to curtail the rights of women? That find me unclean? I am not just talking about Islam here, but pretty much all religion. So there is some equal opportunity offence for you. Faithophobia. Add it to the list of my crimes.

I don’t have to go back to seventh-century texts to find faiths in which women are not seen as equal to men. This is from the founder of another religion: “A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on the way out.” That’s L Ron Hubbard for you. And you can satirise Scientology all you like.

"Not for some people, but for all people."

It's a video worth viewing and a story worth reading, if only to see the city council digs in Springfield, Missouri. We're talking plush.

But seriously ... the parameters of discrimination as justified by Christianity, this one with a twist.

After More Than 1.5 Million Views, Pastor Speaks Out About Viral Video

Following attention this video has received more than two months after he gave the speech in Springfield, Missouri, Rev. Dr. Phil Snider of Brentwood Christian Church added some context to the speech on Saturday.

"Marching with the SlutWalkers."

Seriously: One doesn't read about such thought-provoking matters in the Courier-Journal. Perhaps LEO, though. Given that this movement began in Toronto, and The Guardian is British, is there even an American branch?

Marching with the SlutWalkers, by Tonya Gold (The Guardian)

The SlutWalk movement has divided feminists. Should women try to reclaim the word? And is undressing the best way to protest against rape?