Freed from the tyranny of Fitbit.

Rowing's good exercise, too. 

There was a time not so long ago when I would gauge a day's exercise by the number of beers required to recuperate later that evening while consuming platters of meat, potatoes and tiramisu.

Then along came Fitbit. For me the year of induction was 2013, and I quickly became a drone, hypnotized by the step count. Consequently, during our recently concluded holiday in Croatia, Slovenia and Trieste, I might say that we averaged between 12,000 and 13,000 steps a day and 90 or more active minutes a day. A certain number of calories were expended, too.

I might suggest it; however the exact statistics must go unverified, as I'd already concluded it was time to break the cycle of addiction to Fitbit by severing the ties of bondage with this damnable hunk of plastic, tied to sophisticated surveillance technology and contrived to sell still more useless trinkets.

Boldly opting to go cold turkey, I smashed the device with an oaken hammer, mixed the shards with garlic paste, splashed a shot glass of ouzo on the mess and buried it in the backyard.

Granted, Fitbit taught me something, although what I learned wasn't anything new. Basically, staying active is good, and a brisk walk each day lasting 30 minutes to an hour is better. To each their own, and if Fitbit helps you, that's fine and dandy. For me the experience had long since run its course, and came to the point of draining all the fun out of exercising.

Enough's enough, and I've gone back to the relative simplicity of looking at my watch every now and then to see how long I've been out walking.

Got it?

Good, so now I can divulge the actual truth, because evidently my Fitbit fell from the ol' trouser pockets at some point last Wednesday morning in Ljubljana, and having lost it, the opportunity to escape the leash was too much to pass up.

Roger's Fitbit: 2013-2019.

These useless crosswalk gadgets are Team Gahan's most wasteful expenditure ever -- at least BEFORE the prioritization of a luxury city hall.

If we disguise them as trees, perhaps David Barksdale will have the Tree Board commence another orgy of removal.

These useless "enhanced" (or "high visibility" -- but please, select your own code words for "this dog won't hunt") crosswalks are such an obvious and profound failure that even 3rd district councilman Greg Phipps grasps it, but because the error was cemented into place by the ruling clique to which Phipps is beholden, there cannot logically be a solution involving the councilman.

This would mean challenging Big Daddy G, and that's a good way to have the AdamBot kneecap your next campaign.

Maybe DNA can hang member advertising placards on them.

Crosswalk safety: Phipps goes on TeeVee; Summers gulps the Kool Aid. Jeff Speck had the street grid answers, but Jeff Gahan urinated on them. Unwalkable New Albany -- what a thrill!

 ... Focusing on the topic at hand, maybe Phipps is beginning to see that without Jeff Speck's principled approach to comprehensive street grid reform, two-way automotive friction alone cannot magically produce walkability -- and the majority of bicycle-friendly design components never made it past Gahan's ingrained cowardice.

Can you explain, Jeff Gillenwater?

"Greg Phipps and Larry Summers are both very aware that much more could have been done via this significant expenditure to protect against and start reversing auto-centric culture. It’s too bad both of them chose silence as a means of protecting their vaunted personal positions while a solid plan to do just that was being butchered by their boss. As lots of us have mentioned, two-way conversion as implemented is a bare bones step. Now we’ll have to spend years more and lots of additional money working toward eventually getting it right."

It's an item-free agenda as council meets tonight, so best prepare for maximum westside wizardry.

There's nothing on the evening's council agenda, which by all rights implies nothingness in terms of the meeting results, but veteran council watchers know from long, pitiless experience that an empty agenda often serves as an invisible tripwire for ward-heeling, caterwauling and stationary gyrations, primarily from Dan "Danny Copperhead" Coffey.

The smart money says tonight Coffey will verbally assault transgender snowflake pedestrian pacifist abortion supporters, for a period of time up to fifteen minutes, as the council president surveys his gavel as though it were an irreplaceable Fabergé egg.

I'll be there, dreaming of shelter from pigs on the wing.

Freedom from religion: "Hurricanes Harvey and Irma expose the futility of prayer."

As the local chain newspaper steadily ups its quotient of religious advocacy, I'm left with little choice except to escalate my own infidel's counterweight.

Dan Barker is Co-President of the Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF), which is a national nonprofit dedicated to keeping state and church separate and educating the public about non-theism.

Hurricanes Harvey and Irma expose the futility of prayer, by Dan Barker (Patheos)

“Pray for America’s protection from danger.”—Texas Governor Greg Abbott

“The hands that help are better far than lips that pray.”—Robert G. Ingersoll

This year’s hurricane season proves beyond all doubt that nothing fails like prayer.

On Sunday, when the full force of Hurricane Irma was battering its way across the peninsula, Florida Governor Rick Scott desperately cried out, “Pray, pray for everybody in Florida.”

Did he forget? We’ve been there, done that. History shows us that nothing fails like prayer ...

The ultimate in masochism.

Monday, August 3 is the occasion of the next city council meeting. In addition, it's my birthday.

Tempting to skip it ... might be time for a flask.

For a meeting preview, visit Daniel Suddeath's Tribune coverage: New Albany Council to take first votes on fee hikes Monday.