Council district survey results are in, and Bob Caesar remains abjectly clueless about street and road issues.

Who gets quoted the most? The one who comprehends the least. Welcome to governance, New Gahanian Style.

DESIGN DESIGN DESIGN, you blithering idiot.

He hasn't learned a single damn thing, has he?

New Albany City Council compiles list of top public priorities, by John Boyle (Hanson's Journal of Misplaced Priorities)

 ... With the growth of the population along with work being done on roads in different sections of the city, overall traffic has increased. Caesar pointed out two types of traffic — commuter and consumer.

Commuter traffic consists of drivers coming to and from work, while consumer traffic is due to people running assorted errands. The latter is affected by and, perhaps, affects the traffic situation the most, Caesar said.

Unlike commutes, trips out on the town can't always be planned out well.

"When you run around picking up different things, you don’t know how long it's going to take," Caesar said. "A lot of times, people don’t want to have to wait at stop lights, and sometimes you can kind of get yourself in a rush.”

In order to trim time off of their trips, Caesar said drivers will cut through residential neighborhoods that wouldn't otherwise see thru traffic, often doing so at dangerous speeds. Solving the situation will be tough, he said.

Speed limits have been lowered in many neighborhoods, but other things like increased police presence, signage, speed bumps and prominent lines marking stop signs could help.

"It’s a sticky wicket to really discourage people from taking all of these cut-throughs around town," Caesar said. "It’s something we need to convince people to not do. Most of the time, you’re not really cutting down time, even though you think you are.”

Perpetuating the rubbish: Hypocrisy, thy name is News and Tribune.

Hmm.

It's the very same newspaper that runs two weekly Christian advocacy columns, balanced by zero -- zilch, cerro, nada -- "alternative" religion or non-religion essays.

"Maybe we should find out, before passing judgment."

So maybe if Susan Duncan is serious about boosting comparative religious enlightenment, her own newspaper might -- you know, inform us about the alternatives rather than doubling down each week on evangelical Christianity.

Wait ... it might even take the form of a Muslim telling us about Islam. 

Or is Bill Hanson still paying back Tom May for penny ante poker debts by giving May two weekly columns, one of which is plainly evangelical?

DUNCAN COLUMN: Piling on the rubbish, by Susan Duncan

Trash.

I heard the word and my heart sank. The man wasn’t talking about refuse that’s collected and taken to a landfill.

No, he was using the word to describe people. A whole group of people.

With dismissive authority, he said, “Muslims are trash. Every one of ’em.”

He was conversing with a woman as the two were seated near the prescription counter of a local chain drug store. I had wandered into that area in search of an item on my shopping list. Unfortunately, I overheard his world view as I compared products and prices.

How had the man become such an expert on the followers of Islam, I wondered. Had he studied them to know with absolute certainty that Muslims — who number nearly a quarter of the world’s population — all are trash?

Plug in any people of faith from any religion into his original quote: Hindus. Jews. Buddhists.

What if he had said, “Christians are trash. Every one of ’em”? That surely would offend the sensibilities of any followers of Jesus who happened to be within earshot.

So, why is it OK to lump all Muslims together, into the same heap as it were?

The woman tried to add some perspective, I think.

We grew up here, she told her seat mate, and you know as well as I do that there’s white trash, too. The man readily agreed, adding in some blacks, as well. Apparently trash knows no color. It also doesn’t differentiate between heritage and religion.

I wanted to insert myself into their garbage gab, but I knew I wouldn’t change their minds, and I could almost hear the 911 call to police referencing a trio of gray-haired folks scuffling at the pharmacy. It could have gotten ugly in a hurry.

So, my purchase decided, I walked toward the checkout counter, burdened by their words.

The comments struck me as judgmental. Who sits in such an exalted place that they can look down upon others?

Troubling, too, was the casualness of the conversation. The pair just as easily could have been discussing the weather, or the merits of M&Ms vs. Reese’s peanut butter cups.

If I were to label the musings I overheard, I’d call it hate speech. Hate grows from fear, which is rooted in the unknown or the unfamiliar.

In a world of seven and a half billion people, is there anyone as worthy as are we? Anyone?

Maybe we should find out, before passing judgment.

— Susan Duncan is the editor of the News and Tribune. Reach her at 812-206-2130 and susan.duncan@newsandtribune.com.

62,572 annual reasons (and 26 cents) why "a great experience is priceless" is the worst answer for any city employee to give.

Back to one-way.

Shades of "no cost is too great" to rehabilitate the Reisz building. At least David Barksdale's not a mayoral family member, though that's small consolation in terms of squandered opportunity cost.

In New Albany, nepotism is a family tradition.

The Bicentennial Park Summer Re-Elect Jeff Gahan Concert Series begins anew on Friday, August 3. It's the sixth season of these events, followed by a year of rotating "Live @ Five" shows. How much has all this cost the city?

We still have no idea. Here's an article from August 30, 2015.

August 3 is my birthday. let's hope I'm at Pints & Union.

---

Why "a great experience is priceless" is the worst answer for any city employee to give.

What does it cost the city to stage Friday evening concerts at a venue that wasn't built to host them?

Surely somewhere these raw numbers exist: Production Simple does the booking and staging, city workers block the street, prepare the grounds and clean up, police officers act as security, and of course, there are sponsorships, and these defray at least some of the costs, right?

Shouldn't this information be part of the public record?

I asked.

The quick response came not from Shane Gibson, but Chris Gardner: "A great experience is priceless."

Think about that.

Chris Gardner is the city of New Albany's director of flood control. He has a degree in business management (IU Southeast; 2010), used to work at a veneer plant, and is married to the mayor's daughter. These facts are matters of public record, and if subject to review by the most disinterested of space aliens armed with theories of impartiality and a recent dictionary, there'd almost inevitably arise at least some reference to the concept of nepotism.

Perhaps Jeff Gahan's exaggerated fluke of a vote total in 2011 blinded him to the implications of the word "nepotism", or maybe he didn't know what it meant in the first place. I doubt he cares, but even if the director of flood control weren't an otherwise unqualified son-in-law, and even if he were just another unqualified city political patronage employee, can this or any other mayor countenance a taxpayer inquiry being greeted with this?

"A great experience is priceless."

Perhaps Gardner's sequestration down by the river, where few people actually live, has caused Gardner to overlook the plain fact that lots of folks living hereabouts are not enjoying a great experience, because the reality of income inequality is that they cannot afford a frat boy's nonchalance, either in terms of attitude or disposable income. 

What's more, not many of them are in a position to enjoy the bread, circuses and musical events being staged for their benefit. They're working multiple jobs, juggling parental duties and just scraping through. They're struggling with finding and keeping affordable housing. Whether we care to admit it or not, most of us are far closer to poverty than we'll ever be to the lofty ease of the 1%, and we'd be advised to remember how quickly any of us could fall through the patchwork safety net, which Republicans keep trying to dismantle. 

Shouldn't Democrats be more concerned with maintaining a functional, level playing field than pretending to be Walt Disney?

Seriously, how many of us shrug and spend money without looking at the price?

Let's say I come home with a brand new car, run inside the house, get Diana and say, "Look at the nice shiny thing I bought for you."

Is anyone outside of the 1% NOT going to ask me how much it cost, to demand an explanation, to point out that we already owe far more than we make, and can we really afford it?

New Albanians should do the same. Experiences may indeed be priceless, but creditors are notoriously inconvenient when it comes to seeing the transaction in a different light. When Jeff Gahan's minions brag to you about their nice shiny objects, don't forget to ask them how much they cost ... and how do we pay for them ... and how many years will we be paying?

You'd ask these same questions when making your household purchases, wouldn't you?

Some day those objects won't be quite as shiny -- and your grandchildren will still be paying for them. That's neither great nor priceless, is it?

Fourth Estate on the skids: News and Tribune's incomprehension about Jeff Gahan's hostile takeover of public housing remains mind boggling.

Let's take the News and Tribune's credulous editorial board gently by the hand and lead them as a group to the sweet water of genuine fact, hopeful they'll be able to drink deeply and perhaps as yet make some semblance of a contribution to what we're experiencing in New Albany as Year Seven of Dear Leader's social engineering experiment dawns.

I repeat:

For quite some time, former New Albany Housing Authority chief Bob Lane and his staff had a plan -- a genuine, real, written design -- to revamp public housing in New Albany on a 1-to-1 demolish/rebuild unit basis.

For Lane to achieve this plan, Mayor Jeff Gahan and certain of his vapid minions had to sign a few documents -- and they refused.

In fact, Gahan purposefully neglected to replace housing board members, and in most significant respects, the mayor did what he could whenever he could to thwart Lane's plans.

It's about a "C-minus" student's adoration of mythology, but more on this in a moment.

Gahan then seized control of NAHA, fired Lane, purged the board by replacing its members with reliably servile bootlickers and sycophants, and solved a huge 3rd-floor etiquette problem by shifting the completely unqualified and soon-to-be-divorced David Duggins a long mile away from HWC Engineering's branch squatter's office of municipal government.

This cherry-picked new public housing regime promptly promised to demolish half the existing units, to be replaced with vouchers, the utility of which is contradicted by every prevailing academic study -- but what does this mean to those among us who don't ever bother reading?

Except for the mythology, of course.

This abrupt putsch had the predictable effect of creating opposition; naturally, with no specific plan apart from the vague voucher bauble, and with the fix so very obviously in, thoughtful housing residents and community members viewed Gahan's actions in precisely the proper context: a hostile takeover of NAHA to facilitate social engineering according to the "vision" of a typical veneer salesman's lifelong prejudices.

So far, these verbal assurances to residents and the community have taken the form of veiled threats and strong-arm tactics, which are sure to become more prevalent when the new police sub-station is up and running; ironically, it isn't about the crime, it's about "boy, do you really need to be signing a petition when Pappy Gahan disapproves?"

Is the police chief capable of shame or embarrassment at this point?

Years of Gahan's conniving over Bud Light Limes at the Roadhouse, followed by ten months of pure bungling by people who can't even lie very well, and only on December 12 did the handpicked board of demolition coordinators bother to release an official statement of purported calming, the tone of which was immediately contradicted by an increasingly strident and intemperate Duggins, who denounced freedom of expression while pointing a paranoid finger at the emerging conspiracy against his selfless band of heroes.

It's an absolute and expanding mess of the anchor-weighted Gahan's own making. He is frantically scratching the most irresistible generational and mythological itch of all, this being his earnest and impeccably crackpot theory that honest DINOs can't ever get what they really deserve in this town until public housing is scourged and the unsightly poor dispersed.

Carbohydrates don't matter as much as plausible deniability, and Gahan's loading up on the latter, importing a red-faced bag man from Clark County to do the dirty work.

Gahan probably believes he's in the clear, but actually his ongoing public housing putsch reveals the fathomless depths of a moral and ethical void. Not only is the stain uncontained, it's spreading. The monetizing vandals at Team Gahan finally are getting worried, and their poise is fast eroding.

With the next coronation due in 2019, and so many beaks to keep wetted, things are about to become even dirtier.

Perhaps even a newspaper might be interested in such matters, although yesterday (December 31) the newspaper's editorial board saw fit to gloss over every bit of the preceding back story, somehow managing to cram a single uncomprehending reference to New Albany (overall) amid the predictably Clark-centic year's end pronouncements.

As a public service, using Google Map and a bottle of Amontillado, I've managed to confirm the editorial board's relative position in the local cosmos.

Those folks must be dehydrated. Too bad. We sure could use a newspaper right about now.

OUR OPINION: These news stories will carry over into the new year

Now it’s time to turn our attention to 2018. You don’t need a crystal ball to predict what some of the news narratives will be in 2018 …

• Public housing problems pile up

... New Albany has a plan, but can’t convince public housing residents — or even the public at large — that it’s acting in the best interests of all concerned by repairing what can be fixed and razing what can’t. Promises of housing vouchers for those who must move, and reassurances that no one will be left homeless, are being questioned due to limited residential housing. New Albany may have a good plan — at least this city is doing something — but until people’s concerns are assuaged, the powers that be will get little support.

— The News and Tribune editorial board is comprised of Publisher Bill Hanson, Editor Susan Duncan, Assistant Editor Chris Morris, Assistant Editor Jason Thomas and Digital Editor Elizabeth DePompei.

James "U of L" Ramsey, sombreros, stereotypes and DNA's institutional legacy of tone deafness.

Now with an update.

Speaking of "portraying inappropriate and untrue stereotypes," you might remember this story from late October, 2015.

Then again, if you're on the board of Develop New Albany ... probably not.

Ramsey sombrero photo sparks outcry, apology

 ... Olivia Krauth, the editor of the student newspaper The Louisville Cardinal, wrote Thursday that "if a fraternity threw a party with a Mexican theme and pictures of them in these outfits got out, they would be in huge trouble just like countless other Greek organizations across the country in the past few years. ... As the president of a university, I would expect more."

In 2012, for example, a Penn State sorority apologized for "portraying inappropriate and untrue stereotypes" following a Mexican-themed party that included similar garb.

Karman said he wasn't certain what university policy would be in such instances, adding that it would likely be dealt with on a case-by-case basis.

As social media criticism grew, university officials released an apology Thursday evening, addressing it to "Hispanic/Latino Faculty, Staff and Students."

Evidently as we develop New Albany, we needn't worry about such matters. Looking forward to DNA's explanation? It might not be a good idea to hold your breath.

By the way, last evening's walk to Israel's Delicias de Mexico Gourmet and the meal that followed both were superb ... and we were able to wear normal clothing, too, sans headgear.

(thanks Clint)

---

Update: Evening follow-up post ... A message from Mayor Gahan.

ASK THE BORED: Mayor Jeff M. Gahan presents BOW presenting exciting new vistas in sidewalk blockage.

The ever-popular "Autocentrism Always Trumps Handicap Ramp Access."

Here's a creative new twist: Splash pads by the ADA ramps.

Of course, when semis are allowed to park on the sidewalk, what can a guy say?

Would it be a redundancy to ask whether anyone at the Bored is awake?

Piss off, LEO. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries -- and your governor's worse than ours, on top of it all.

Thanks to J for pointing me to this.

I've decided to point something more fitting at it.

Back in the mid-1990s I helped run a beer bar and pizza joint in Indiana (gasp), on the north side of New Albany. "Better" is a relative and senseless term, but at the Public House we tended to carry beers that were hard to get in Louisville. Lots of Kentucky license plates were in the parking lot on weekends. I was proud of this, because "they" said it couldn't be done.

Much time has passed, and currently there's quite a lot to do in both New Albany and Jeffersonville, particularly downtown. It's even possible that the Derby price structure is a bit more reasonable way up here. I'm a cynic and a realist, and I know better than to get emotionally involved in such matters.

But for more than 25 years, I've been busting my butt trying to make this a better place, and state lines aside, folks anywhere else in the country tend to see us as one big metro area.

Too bad LEO doesn't. Now if you'll pardon me, I have a few epithets to mutter.

A guide to Louisville’s neighborhoods, two hours at a time, by Staff (Aaron's Trust Fund Baby)

The Derby isn’t until Saturday, but your Airbnb is in… Germantown, or St. Matthews, or… and you are not sure what to do with your time. Don’t worry, gentle visitor. Take our LEO hand, and let us lead you on nine, two-hour, neighborhood-specific adventures of wonder, gluttony, imbibing, shopping and just plain fun in a few central Louisville neighborhoods where you may be staying, or where you will want to stay next year ...

“There are some people in the Democratic Party who want to maintain the status quo. They would rather go down with the Titanic so long as they have first-class seats.”

First, Bernie Sanders in West Virginia.

'Healthcare is a Right': Bernie Sanders Finds Common Ground in Trump Country, by Nika Knight (Common Dreams)

The warm reception to Sanders' views—that climate change is real, that universal healthcare is a right, and that free higher education is necessary, among others—demonstrated that residents of this county that voted 75 percent for Trump support far more progressive policies than those touted by the president.

Then, the upper reaches of the Democratic Party, no more willing than Jeff Gahan to stop mainlining Big Cash.

Everyone loves Bernie Sanders. Except, it seems, the Democratic party, by Trevor Timm (The Guardian)

... In other words, they’re doubling down on the exact same failing strategy that Clinton used in the final months of the campaign. Sanders himself put it this way in his usual blunt style in an interview with New York magazine this week – when asked about whether the Democrats can adapt to the political reality, he said: “There are some people in the Democratic Party who want to maintain the status quo. They would rather go down with the Titanic so long as they have first-class seats.”

In the long term, change may be coming for Democrats whether they like it or not. Sanders loyalists are quietly attempting to take over many local Democratic party positions around the country. While Ellison lost the race for the DNC chair, it was incredibly close – closer than Sanders came to beating Clinton. And Sanders’ supporters are already organizing primary challenges to incumbent Democrats who aren’t sufficiently opposing Trump.

Speaking of the mayor, let's drop in on his meeting with the local party minion chairman.

Trees and the importance of urban canopies -- everywhere except Jeff Gahan's Chop Down City, of course.

The struggle is real, and the cluelessness well-nigh institutionalized.

There's nothing quite as sobering as reading the frequently recurring articles about the importance of trees, even as the mind's eye cannot forget those hundreds of stumps produced in New Albany during the year 2016 ... and knowing that the various bureaucrats responsible remain on the job, self-serving their time, sharpening axes in the complete absence of a reforestation plan -- because can anyone recall a moment when Jeff Gahan showed signs of comprehending any of this?

How Climate Benefits from Trees Scale with Cities at Sustainable Cities Collective

Trees influence meteorological and climatic effects at all scales of a city, from pocket parks to entire neighborhoods. However, while research has been done on the effect of trees canopies on urban environments, in general, we are only now beginning to understand how urban canopies affect climate at all scales of the city – from an individual building to a street, park, overall pattern of land use and finally, the city as a whole.

What makes the logging mania in New Albany even more grating are events over THERE, across the river.

Council Members Hollander and Hamilton introduce tree ordinance for consideration (District 9 Blog)

Metro Councilmembers Bill Hollander (D-9) and Cheri Bryant-Hamilton (D-5) announced today that they have introduced an ordinance relating to Louisville Metro trees.

Adoption of such an ordinance was the very first of 41 recommendations in the 2015 Louisville Urban Tree Canopy Assessment. It was also recommended by the Louisville Metro Tree Advisory Commission, after a lengthy review of ordinances in dozens of other cities, including several in Kentucky.

“We have seen a significant loss in tree canopy in Louisville Metro and this ordinance will help focus attention on the issue, protect the trees we have and reduce the possibility of more losses,” Councilman Hollander said. “It recognizes that trees are important to quality of life and to our health”.

“Our community needs more trees, desperately. Studies have shown that it makes a difference and it will reduce the temperature in the City,” said Councilwoman Hamilton. “We need to do a better job of getting people to connect the dots between our environment and our health and this ordinance will help.”

Of course, Louisville has its own constraints against progress in the form of Greater Louisville Inc., and LEO's editor Aaron Yarmuth is unrelenting in exposing One Southern Indiana's commonwealth next-of-kin for its utter fraudulence.

GLI, Get Lost Immediately, by Aaron Yarmuth (LEO Weekly)

It is time to question whether Greater Louisville Inc., the city’s chamber of commerce, is a shell organization, a facade for opposition to progressive city government.

It does little to advance the city’s progress. It is either functioning as a conservative political lobby under camouflage, or a group blind to the realities of urban America.

GLI has a chance to prove me wrong.

It can do so by reversing its efforts to undermine science and arguing that research doesn’t justify new rules — which it did in a letter back in August, leveling baseless attacks against the findings of Louisville’s heat-management plan. Their illogical argument concluded that the study didn’t demonstrate a cost-benefit analysis for new regulations. So therefore the science is bad?

GLI — a hodgepodge group of local business leaders, not science leaders — get out of the science-debunking business. Do your job and support any proposed tree ordinance by Metro Councilman Bill Hollander, and actively market the city’s new efforts to improve public health ...

... Instead of opposing efforts to save and restore Louisville’s tree canopy, GLI needs to aggressively support and market all public and private efforts. According to Forbes’ best places for business, Portland (No. 5), Austin (No. 11) and Charlotte (No. 19) all somehow lead Louisville (No. 54), despite the heavy hand of their burdensome tree rules. It is clear that regulations that improve quality of life do not come at the expense of business… and GLI is wrong ...

 ... If GLI wants to reclaim its role representing our interests, it needs to put the longterm interests of the community before the short-term perceived interests of business. If GLI wants to prove me wrong — try to defend the indefensible — we’ll offer them a page.

Until then, GLI means: Get Lost Immediately.

Over here in Southern Indiana, our peculiar institution generally is referred to as 1Si, which works out to (and definitely is) One Shitty Idea.

We close with further testimony from an unfortunate reader of the News and Tribune, which to date has had almost nothing of coherence to say about Jeff Gahan's deforestation fetish, probably because Bill Hanson keeps getting those fat city advertising checks.

However, this reader gets it, even if the journalists and politicians lag behind.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR (News and Tribune)

Mature tree canopy beneficial

It is concerning to me that given all the press recently about the “urban desert” of the Louisville-Southern Indiana area, permission was apparently given to raze the area on Fawcett Hill off of State Street. Not only is this an eyesore for anyone traveling on State Street, it seems to exemplify poor planning to me.

The benefits of trees in our environment are so numerous. Urban forests absorb air pollution such as sulfur dioxide ozone, soot and diesel emission; this makes the air healthier to breathe for everyone. Having trees in a city area brings cooling relief making the city more livable. Also, trees help store water, thereby creating the beneficial effects of less flooding and less erosion.

Based on these few reasons, it would seem smart to me to keep as many old trees as possible. Why did the city/county planners allow all the trees on the property on Fawcett Hill to be razed? Perhaps it is more cost-efficient for the developers to cut down all existing growth and someday, to plant small, new trees? In one article I read, it states one mature tree can remove 70 times more pollution than one small tree. Based on this fact, alone, it would make sense to me to keep some of the old growth.

Wouldn’t it be nice for those who make decisions about our shared environment to consider all aspects, rather than just the ones that make money, enlarge the tax base, or render a project cheaper to complete?

Every person will leave a legacy for his or her children. Here in Floyd County, there are still so many beautiful forested areas. It is a treasure we have that many forget can so easily disappear.

I believe with careful planning, development of existing forested areas can be obtained while keeping many of the trees that are already there. It may cut down on a little monetary profit, but it would be a wonderful example of good stewardship and social responsibility.

— Janet Chatham, Floyds Knobs

Delete your account, Bill: Publisher (not newsman) Hanson takes time out from cooking school, wears Community Foundation conflict-of-interest on sleeve, denounces horrible "meddling" politicians but gives Jeff Gahan an eternal free ride.

Let's consult Occam's Razor:

Maybe the best explanation for why the Floyd County auditor and treasurer are withholding hospital sale funds from the Community Foundation is the simplest, in that placing these hospital sale funds with the Community Foundation is a bad political decision, one that was made entirely without substantive public input -- and, in fact, the auditor and treasurer are standing on principle for the future good of the public as a whole. 

And there's this:

It's endlessly frustrating to watch as Hanson floats serenely above the ongoing carnage of his newspaper's daily operation (but by his own reckoning he's in publishing, not news), in that all these wonderful principles of transparency and accountability currently pricking his skin because the Community Foundation is involved seem never to apply to New Albany City Hall's weekly evasions and subterfuge.

You know, like sewer rate increases sneaking through a December back door, and the newspaper's inexcusable three-day time lag in reporting it. Bill, need I remind you that you blithely sanctioned what amounted to a full year's blackout of New Albany news coverage by refusing to retain adequate staffing?

And so yet again, while we're on the topic of conflicts of interest, allow me to ask this question of Hanson:

How much advertising revenue flows from the City of New Albany to the News and Tribune on a yearly basis?

HANSON: Auditor, treasurer overstepping their authority, by Bill Hanson (Alabama Absenteeism Inc.)

For total transparency, in addition to my role as publisher of the News and Tribune, I sit on the board of directors for the Community Foundation and I reside in Clark County, not Floyd.

The clock is ticking. Bridge completion and tolling is coming by the end of December, and Team Gahan is 100% unprepared.

Here's the set:

Now we know when the East End bridge will open (maybe) (Business First)

We have a tentative date for the opening of the East End bridge: the weekend of Dec. 17-18.

And the spike:

So when will tolling begin? Mindy Peterson, a spokeswoman for the downtown crossing and the RiverLink tolling system, told the CJ that a start date hasn't been determined. But she said tolls could be levied on the Lincoln and Kennedy bridges before the East End bridge opens.

That's two weeks, maybe three. What's the short term plan, Jeff?

Nuttin', honey.

 ... Supporters of two-way conversions say the change could help discourage Spring and Elm streets as a Ohio River Bridges Project toll-dodging method. The Sherman Minton Bridge connecting West Louisville and New Albany is one of two bridges that will be toll free at the end of the year.

"They've dragged their feet so much that the tolls are going to happen before they do anything," Mark Sanders, vice president of the (East Spring Street) neighborhood association, said.

It turns out that improv isn't just for comedy clubs any more.

Someone just died trying to cross the street, and at the News and Tribune, it's shill-a-minute for cooking school.

Maybe if New Albany had a reporter, he or she could read the Fb feed and get little tidbits of topical news every now and then. As IAH remarked:

But think about how the bottom line of the NT is going to look. Haven't had to pay a reporter for New Albany for at least 7 months and now they are not paying an editor. Add these "great" cost savings to the cooking school income and Mr. Hanson will have a very nice bonus awaiting him for far exceeding his bottom line budget. Let's be happy for him.

Team Gahan's breathtaking passive/aggressive answer to the question of making a safe pedestrian crossing at Main and W. 1st.

You simply cannot make up these things.

The question about the hazardous situation for walkers at Main and W. 1st, where each corner now is occupied by multiple thriving businesses (as well as the YMCA), and parking is scattered on all sides of them, was asked at the last merchant meeting.

David Duggins replied somewhat honestly (for him), by saying the city had no plan at all to do anything to remedy safety at Main and W. 1st.

With even more time to think about it, Team Gahan now has issued an improved excuse for inaction.

Crosswalks on Main Street - At this time crosswalks at corner of Main and First would present a safety hazard as there is no light or stop sign to protect pedestrians and signal a safe crossing. Pedestrians would be invited to walk in an unprotected area.

Wait ... but who other than the city of New Albany possesses the ability to install design elements to protect pedestrians?

In other words, it's Team Gahan's stretch of road to do with as Oz pleases, but there'll be no fundamental safety improvements -- and because there can be no fundamental safety improvements, there'll be no fundamental safety improvements.

This may be the most idiotic example of circular logic that I've ever seen in New Albany, and that's saying a lot.

By refusing to take action, and by deploying its inaction as the reason for it doing nothing, City Hall actually commits an "action," if only in a destructive breach, because it detracts from the value of these businesses and perpetuates conditions that are plainly unsafe.

This is true just as surely as if Main were a one-way street, though because there are no design elements at this intersection to slow traffic, it might as well be a one-way street.

Someone's going to get hurt here, and when it happens, Jeff Gahan will have the blood on his hands. Period.

I've been asking this question for months, but I didn't ask it at the merchant meeting. Rather, it was asked by a businessman who literally has invested millions in downtown New Albany.

And this is the best answer that Gahan's minions can provide. Think about that.

How do these people sleep at night?

Joe's Crab Shack and an actual photo of a lynching used as "decoration."

“The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.”
― George Orwell

Some stories are too ridiculous for words. This is one of them.

WHAT?! A LYNCHING PHOTOGRAPH AS RESTAURANT DECORATION, by David Weinfeld (The Rail)

It’s not uncommon for restaurants to incorporate black-and-white photographs into their overall interior design and atmosphere. These images can depict any range of events, from periods in local history to sports championships. They are meant to add to a restaurant’s ambiance and support its unique story as a brand, but, in the case of a Joe’s Crab Shack in Minnesota, the restaurant should have paid closer attention to what it was putting on its walls and tables.

During a recent visit to Joe’s Crab Shack in Roseville, Minnesota, customers Tyrone Williams and Chauntyll Allen discovered that their tabletop had a photo embedded in it that was both shocking and disturbing. The graphic image depicted two black men being lynched by an angry mob. To make matters worse, it had a cartoon speech bubble that read, “All I said was that I didn’t like the gumbo.”

After doing some quick research, the couple learned that the photo was from a real-life execution that occurred in 1896. Given the racial injustice that existed during that period of time, it was typical to pin crimes on black men. Independent of its historical provenance, I think we can all agree that such images have no place in any restaurant.

Gather the plastic bags, mama -- Ron Grooms is doing that pro-life thang.

Ron Grooms is so busy speaking out on pro-life legislation that he hasn't bothered reading a newspaper.

2 Abortion Foes Behind Planned Parenthood Videos Are Indicted, by Manny Fernandez (NYT)

Abortion opponents claimed that the videos, which were released starting in July, revealed that Planned Parenthood was engaged in the illegal sale of body parts — a charge that the organization has denied and that has not been supported in numerous congressional and state investigations triggered by the release of the videos.

Can't he just go back to suppressing local environmental initiatives and seeing to it that One Southern Indiana's oligarchs get their full complement of subsidies, tax breaks and brothel gift cards?

Ron Grooms is speaking out on pro-life legislation.

Like millions of Americans, I was appalled last year to watch videos showing Planned Parenthood officials discussing how the organs of aborted children were preserved and sold to medical researchers.

More recently, a medical waste facility in Indianapolis was fined $11,250 for receiving aborted fetuses from a Missouri Planned Parenthood clinic.

This session, legislation is being considered to address this issue. It would put a stop to the trafficking of aborted baby remains in Indiana, ensuring that such remains are treated with dignity and respect.

House Bill 1337 would make it a Level 5 felony for an individual to acquire, receive, sell or transfer fetal tissue. It would also prohibit abortions based solely on race, color, national origin, ancestry, sex or a non-lethal disability. An abortion performed solely on the basis of these factors suggests that certain lives have less value than others, or that life is not worth living for certain categories of people. This is not consistent with Hoosier values.

HB 1337 was approved in a Senate committee on Wednesday and is expected to be considered by the full Senate next week.

C-J critic ham-fistedly hammers Southern Indiana dining options.

Random Fb image from The Exchange.

There are a number of potential talking points here.

• Do traditional media reviewers matter any longer?
• Is the review fair to Rocky's? 
• What is a newspaper, anyway?
• What's the name of the restaurant she already reviewed?

These aren't the point of the digression.

It is this: Has this reviewer even visited downtown New Albany? Yes, Veteran's parkway is  a chain food court, but this long since has ceased to define food and dining hereabouts.

Review | Rocky's Sub Pub in Jeff is sub-par, by Nancy Miller (Courier-Journal)

... I can’t understand why the Hoosiers aren’t spitting mad that having a mediocre dinner is the best for which they can hope (with the exception of one restaurant, which I have already reviewed.)

The Ohio River is the great culinary divide. On the south side are dozens of restaurants for every taste and budget. On the north side, it’s as if a giant food court of chain restaurants thinks of their customers as second-class citizens who don’t deserve first-class food.

Why "a great experience is priceless" is the worst answer for any city employee to give.

What does it cost the city to stage Friday evening concerts at a venue that wasn't built to host them?

Surely somewhere these raw numbers exist: Production Simple does the booking and staging, city workers block the street, prepare the grounds and clean up, police officers act as security, and of course, there are sponsorships, and these defray at least some of the costs, right?

Shouldn't this information be part of the public record?

I asked.

The quick response came not from Shane Gibson, but Chris Gardner: "A great experience is priceless."

Think about that.

Chris Gardner is the city of New Albany's director of flood control. He has a degree in business management (IU Southeast; 2010), used to work at a veneer plant, and is married to the mayor's daughter. These facts are matters of public record, and if subject to review by the most disinterested of space aliens armed with theories of impartiality and a recent dictionary, there'd almost inevitably arise at least some reference to the concept of nepotism.

Perhaps Jeff Gahan's exaggerated fluke of a vote total in 2011 blinded him to the implications of the word "nepotism", or maybe he didn't know what it meant in the first place. I doubt he cares, but even if the director of flood control weren't an otherwise unqualified son-in-law, and even if he were just another unqualified city political patronage employee, can this or any other mayor countenance a taxpayer inquiry being greeted with this?

"A great experience is priceless."

Perhaps Gardner's sequestration down by the river, where few people actually live, has caused Gardner to overlook the plain fact that lots of folks living hereabouts are not enjoying a great experience, because the reality of income inequality is that they cannot afford a frat boy's nonchalance, either in terms of attitude or disposable income. 

What's more, not many of them are in a position to enjoy the bread, circuses and musical events being staged for their benefit. They're working multiple jobs, juggling parental duties and just scraping through. They're struggling with finding and keeping affordable housing. Whether we care to admit it or not, most of us are far closer to poverty than we'll ever be to the lofty ease of the 1%, and we'd be advised to remember how quickly any of us could fall through the patchwork safety net, which Republicans keep trying to dismantle. 

Shouldn't Democrats be more concerned with maintaining a functional, level playing field than pretending to be Walt Disney?

Seriously, how many of us shrug and spend money without looking at the price?

Let's say I come home with a brand new car, run inside the house, get Diana and say, "Look at the nice shiny thing I bought for you."

Is anyone outside of the 1% NOT going to ask me how much it cost, to demand an explanation, to point out that we already owe far more than we make, and can we really afford it?

New Albanians should do the same. Experiences may indeed be priceless, but creditors are notoriously inconvenient when it comes to seeing the transaction in a different light. When Jeff Gahan's minions brag to you about their nice shiny objects, don't forget to ask them how much they cost ... and how do we pay for them ... and how many years will we be paying?

You'd ask these same questions when making your household purchases, wouldn't you?

Some day those objects won't be quite as shiny -- and your grandchildren will still be paying for them. That's neither great nor priceless, is it?

Inside Indiana Business says Jeffersonville begins in New Washington, ends in Corydon, and News and Tribune obsequiously wags its tail.

In this 12:30 p.m. update, Ian Hall reports: "They are filming at The Exchange on Monday afternoon during lunch, and I will be part of the interview at Flat 12. I'll do my best to represent the Big NA!"

---

Inside Indiana Business always has been a shameless cheerleader for the usual "chamber of commerce" economic development suspects, so naturally we'd expect One Southern Indiana and River Ridge to be the prime targets for the program's field trip to our region.

Which prompts a logical question: How to define "our" region?

Don't ask the News and Tribune to answer this question. The newspaper is far too busy positioning itself as the regional player it really isn't.

As an example of the Indy-centric tone deafness of Inside Indiana Business, consider that when choosing a place to anchor the proceedings, it's an Indianapolis brewery's satellite location (where actual brewing has yet to commence), and not a long-term and truly local business. Naturally, I'm no enemy of Flat12, and I'm speaking not as a director on the Brewers of Indiana Guild, but as a New Albany resident who knows what the word "symbolism" implies.

Also, consider the manner by which the News and Tribune (sickeningly scrambling to insert itself as an "insider") ) frames this: "Southern Indiana" and "Southeastern Indiana." And yet, according to the article itself, everything about the visit will pertain to Jeffersonville (and Clark County) alone.

Apparently no one at the newspaper would think to ask: "But Gerry Dick, if it's about the region as a whole, why is the exclusive focus on one part of the region to the exclusion of the rest?"

Jeeebus -- the usual Koch empowerment suspects, crowding the trough, with the servile News and Tribune filching scraps. That's our daily reality. The only way to change it is from the grassroots up.

Getting down to business in Southern Indiana, by Danielle Grady

SOUTHERN INDIANA — The 17-year-old program Inside Indiana Business has never traveled to Southeastern Indiana for one of its “on the road” specials, but it was the first idea that host Gerry Dick and the show’s staff latched onto this year.

“[Southeastern Indiana’s] a part of the state that has tremendous potential,” said Dick.

Three or four times a year, Inside Indiana Business leaves its Indianapolis studio and abandons the regular format to comprehensively highlight areas of the state for a half-hour show. This year’s schedule includes visits to Northwest Indiana, Fort Wayne and two other unplanned areas, but on Monday, Dick will be heading to Jeffersonville and setting up at Flat 12 Bierwerks.
It was a “no-brainer,” he said.

“When you look at areas that are going to be the next great area ... It might just be Southeast Indiana,” he said.

Inside Indiana Business has already ran stories on the region, but it’s the things happening with the Ohio River Bridges Project, River Ridge Commerce Center and the Port of Indiana-Jeffersonville that have spurred the program to take a prolonged peek.

Dick plans on showcasing several Indiana businesses and areas of economic interest during his trip, including Schimpff’s Confectionery, Weber Group, America Place Business Park, Adrienne and Co. and the aforementioned projects and businesses.

He will interview Jeffersonville Mayor Mike Moore and Louisville Mayor Greg Fischer to focus on the combined economic efforts of the cities.

Dick also plans an “insider’s panel” featuring representatives from One Southern Indiana, Jeffersonville government and the News and Tribune.

DNA to host "Be Local Somewhere Else" Expo.

That's right. DNA now touts national chain restaurants in Clarksville. Just when you think this organization cannot get any more clueless ... somehow, it finds a way.

Low comedy? It's in DNA's DNA, but the Speck proposals offer a final chance for redemption.

I got your networking, guys: Two way streets.

But you must want to learn what the possibilities mean, and stop planning prom parties.

For a full eight days after Jeff Gahan’s vest-hugging, muffler-dragging politburo peeked timorously out of its down-low bunker and at long last allowed Jeff Speck’s Downtown Street Network Proposal (which it had possessed for a whole month) to be seen by city residents, Develop New Albany remained silent.

Nothing unusual there ... and that's the big, recurring problem.

Finally a link appeared on DNA’s Facebook page. Previously, the best our formally chartered Main Street organization could manage was a bizarre web poll asking if we’d rather have bagels or two-way streets downtown.

Unsurprisingly, the National Main Street Center, DNA’s purported policy parent, has not stated a position on bagels versus English muffins or whole wheat toast.

However, it has been interested in one- to two-way street conversions since at least 2006 – and DNA has been avoiding discussion of this and other matters of genuine significance for just as long, citing ad nauseam its non-profit status as proof of an inability (read: unwillingness) to follow its own organizational mandate and take a stand for something that supports its mission.

Of course, there are embarrassing exceptions. When the topic is Susan Kaempfer's quarter-million dollar farmers market build-out, DNA hurriedly sheds ballast and tramples napping house cats in a rush to the front of the queue in support of politically-motivated pork-barrel expenditures.

Somehow, that's different -- and the "somehow" never manages to get explained.

Again and again, one witnesses the mind-numbing conceptual numbness, thinking that surely by sheer law of average even DNA’s perennially stopped clock has an outside chance to be right twice in a decade, give or take a leap year, but somehow it succeeds in forging consistent group-thought capable of freezing time dead-ice solid.

Instead, DNA functions as a random billboard generator, merrily touting whomever will pay it, from churches to retail, and from eateries to realtors, although precisely one retailer is represented at the board level, and no restaurant or bar owners or managers can be found seated there.

Come to think of it, that's no coincidence, is it?

After all, small indie retailers and food service businesses are the entities that have by far done the most for downtown with the least governmental assistance (is there a number lower than zero?) They simply have no time to coddle bad actors.

Indies also are the ones that might finally get some help from City Hall if Gahan can bring himself to lead for once, and implement Speck’s proposals in a timely fashion, instead of dragging feet of concrete through an election season that stands to place progress in an even colder deep-freeze than New Albany's unenviable historical standard.

It's just my opinion, and feel free to disagree, but the advent of Speck's street network proposals is last call for DNA, which must support street reform explicitly and publicly, and contribute to advocacy for implementation. Anything less, and it's time to dissolve DNA and start from scratch.

The city needs a Main Street organization with cojones, don't you think?

Put it on the platform.