Coffey beats rush, starts October surprise in July.

Does it matter that Council Member Dan Coffey recently voted to approve $19 million in recreational spending without even knowing for sure what will be built? Nope.

Does it matter that he defends funding a Bicentennial Commission that publicly told him they had no idea how the money would be spent? Nope.

Does it matter that during the local NSP approval process, when at least some council members were questioning the overall expenditure of federal money, Coffey's primary argument was that the spending should occur in his district rather than some other? Probably.

But the real question, as it always is, is if this will serve as sufficient fissure in ending his cheerleading of the current administration. We've seen this shtick repeatedly: a new administration and council takes office, Coffey presents himself as a senior statesman and ally long enough to gain a position of trust and perhaps collect a few baubles, and then, shazam, it ends as abruptly as it started with Coffey giving up the pom-poms in favor of his preferred grandstand(ing) seat.

This is the second time in the past couple months Coffey has publicly suggested untoward behavior associated with the NSP, having yet to offer a speck of evidence in support of his rhetoric.

Coffey persistent on Midtown audit, by Daniel Suddeath (N and T)

New Albany City Councilman Dan Coffey continued his scrutiny Tuesday of the agency in charge of the $6.7 million Neighborhood Stabilization Program. 

A resolution sponsored by Coffey that was passed last month was reaffirmed by the New Albany Redevelopment Commission. It calls for an audit of the NSP program, which has resulted in the rehabilitation of 32 vacant and dilapidated properties in the Midtown neighborhood.

Cappuccino yaps at NSP's heels as fire house breathes its last.

I haven't the time to research the specifics, but in my recollection, the firehouse on Green Valley Road dates to around 1990. If memory serves, the design was applauded at the time for being more than just gray socialist utilitarian, but somewhat nicely executed, as reflective of New Albany's architectural heritage -- assuming that the word "heritage" in this context refers to buildings still standing, as opposed to those (Post Office, Court House) torn down to enable asphalt parking lots.

Twenty-three years later, this fire house building is fully expendable and will be demolished so that a non-local corporation can further its profitable aims, but what the hell; there was never any real chance that we might build a new firehouse on Daisy Lane AND turn the old one into a local-only indie green grocer, because THAT would not be in keeping with the garish, chain-choked Wesley Commons a block away, which should induce an unshakable urge to vomit upon sight of the Starbucks and Bob Evans signage.

Those with anything approximating principles hurl, the oblivious sheep keep grazing, and someone is having an orgasm over at One Southern Indiana HQ ... and it's probably Kerry Stemler.

Oh yes, and diligent redevelopment rep Dan Coffey wanna aw-dit ... not of the Bicentennial Commission, because the political protection racket now embraces Bob Caesar, but of the NSP project, and that's all well and good; maybe something will turn up about the 108K solution. Let's aw-dit everyone, except the one's under Cappuccino's friendly umbrella. When Cee-Saw's bill comes due, it's going to be a funny day, indeed.

Commission approves firehouse deal; Coffey calls for audit of NSP project, by Daniel Suddeath (N and T)

... Though the money Kroger will pay to purchase the Green Valley Road station won’t cover a new fire house, an appraiser said Tuesday during the meeting that the actual fire building is pretty much worthless to Kroger.

He said the property was appraised at $350,000, but that the station would likely have to be razed to make way for the expansion.

Romulus, Remus appointed as BicenComm co-treasurers as CeeSaw saves the day.

A procession of one descended gaudily from silver-sepia heights, down the Appian Way (formerly known as Spring Street Hill, prior to being paved with taxpayer gold) and steered a firm path toward the polished administrative edifice of Hauss Citadel, where a crisply attired throng awaited, carefully pruning their sacred rubber stamps.

Fully armored, complete with diamond-studded breastplate and 24-carat plumed helmet, the man approached civic destiny amid much clanking and clanging of iron and steel -- and very nearly leveled the local soothsayer known as Shirtless Marvin, who pondered the centurion from his vantage point splayed atop the sidewalk.

"Are you completely fucked up on crystal meth," asked Marvin, "Or is it me?"

"Varlot! How dare you walk these sidewalks naked."

"Isn't that what they're for?"

“Silence, shirtless! Your subsidized housing ilk repels me, for it is I – Tiberius Severus Octavian Elagabalus Septimius Augustus Claudius Hadrian CeeSaw, the Protector of Pearl, Deliverer of all Downtown Datedness, Master of the Mercantile, and Guardian of the Gates. I have embarked on a valiant campaign against invading barbarian hordes, as well as that upstart Vic Megenity, who shall not be permitted to topple my -- I mean, our -- bicentennial apple cart with his scandalous accusations."

"Wait a minute," gasped Marvin. "You're that nutzoid one-way jewelry guy, right?"

"I AM THAT I AM," thundered CeeSaw, menacingly waving his Latinate scroll. "We will meet Megenity on the plains, and in the forests, and in the streets, and out behind the floodwall, and next to wherever Emery Ice Cream is now."

Marvin mopped his brow. "I'm not from here, you know."

"That's unfortunate," gurgled CeeSaw. "Neither is Megenity. One must possess pure unblemished native New Albanian blood to be invited to the bicentennial ice cream social. Perhaps you would consider relocating, say, to Cannelton?"

---

In other news, there'll be no aw-dit of Bob Caesar's plaything ... but at least he abstained from the otherwise unanimous vote against the council compelling itself to pay attention to projects pursued by the city's best and brightest, who as we have learned, can be trusted to ... aw, whatever. Can we just fast forward to 2113?

Daniel Suddeath's newspaper coverage of the June 3 city council meeting is here.

Aw-dit days are here again ... skies above are clear again.

Oh dear. Another performance to attend.

Audit of New Albany bicentennial commission back on council agenda; Former treasurer claims event proceeds not turned over, by Daniel Suddeath (N and T)

NEW ALBANY — After being tabled last month, a resolution approving an audit of the New Albany Bicentennial Commission’s financial records is back on the city council agenda for Monday night’s meeting.

Councilman Kevin Zurschmiede sponsored the resolution after former commission treasurer Vic Megenity stated his concerns over the record-keeping and procedures of the nonprofit entity.

Have you ever wondered what Bob Caesar is thinking as he drives serenely along the $2 million half-mile stretch of the repaired Spring Street Hill road that leads to his house in Silver Hills? My guess is that he thinks about out-of-town interlopers like Megenity; after all, Vic didn't attend New Albany High School.

Councilman Bob Caesar serves as the co-chair of the commission. He said the issue of accounting is driven by a personal disagreement between (Barbara) Zoller and Alice Glover, who was the vice treasurer under Megenity before she also resigned. In his resignation letter to the commission, Megenity disagreed with Caesar, and stated only Zoller felt like she had a personality conflict with Glover.

All the lonely people; where do they all come from? And why didn't they just stay there and stop agitating for aw-dits and two-way streets? Perhaps we'll know more if the aw-dit proceeds, assuming CeeSaw remains blissfully unaware of the meaning of the term self-immolation.

I'll be on hand tomorrow night to live-tweet the dire proceedings.

KZ on BicenComm: Pass me an abacus.

Not unexpectedly, commission member (and councilman) Bob Caesar could not be reached for comment. What are the odds that he votes on the resolution rather than recuse or abstain? Solid, I'd say.

Zurschmiede seeks audit of bicentennial commission; Resolution in response to claims made by former treasurer, by Daniel Suddeath (N and T)

NEW ALBANY — City Councilman Kevin Zurschmiede is sponsoring a resolution that calls for the New Albany Bicentennial Commission’s financial records to be audited.