But first, a number: "Wee ones in the night."

If the transgendered Prof. Erika can steal from the Internet and pass it off as his/her/its own, then so can I, except that the following parody was composed entirely by me to the tune of "Strangers in the Night," and is lovingly dedicated to the little looters -- er, I mean little people -- in all of us. Take it away, Ringo.

WEE ONES IN THE NIGHT

Wee ones in the night, exchanging blindfolds
Ducking from the light
What were the chances, they’d be sharing bile
Before the night was through?

Something in their eyes was so revolting,
Something in their smile was so contorting,
Some abcess in their heart,
Told me their claims aren't true.

Wee ones in the night, just bitter people
They were little by birth right
Up to the moment
When they made their first bellow.
Little did we know
Hate was just a sick assay,
A fascist, racist click away and -

Hardly ever right, they’re ever clueless
falling to divulge, they couldn’t mean less
Hiding from the light,
Just wee small troglodytes.