New England 2017: From Portland to Popham Beach, with plenty of diversions in between.

Before proceeding with highlights of a loooooong Day Two in Maine, kindly note the standard disclaimer.

As is my usual custom, I'll be posting photos, commentary and links about our trip; the daily accounts will be back-dated to coincide with their occurrence. It won't be the most thrilling reading, but in addition to whatever else NAC may or may not have become over the years, it's still a personal blog, and you're fully entitled to views of our holiday.

Now, back to Portland.

The Confidentials are fans of Airbnb, and for our three nights in Portland, we opted for an absolute beauty -- a fully furnished apartment above a detached garage.

The hosts were lovely, and the location on Bolton Street was excellent. It's less than twenty minutes on foot to The Great Lost Bear pub (an account is forthcoming), and the walk downtown is long, but still suitable for experienced and stubborn hoofers who aren't in a hurry.

As a side note, New England architecture can be very different. As an example, these consecutive, three-story, identical apartment houses up the street.

It's known as the Libbytown neighborhood, and a two-minute stroll from the Airbnb toward Congress Street yields two indie gems: Tony's Donut Shop and Anania's Variety Store. Both of them have been in business for more than 50 years.

Anania's is on the left, and Tony's on the right.

For an impression of Tony's, New Albanians might try imagining Honey Creme, albeit three or four times bigger, with space for visitors to sit and chat while drinking their coffee.

I'll always cherish listening to a morning conversation of the regulars at an adjacent table, which was unavoidable given the booming voices of these Portland residents. As opposed to an analogous likely scenario in my hometown, the senior citizens at Tony's were fiercely critical of Donald Trump.

Refreshing -- as were the donuts and no-frills black coffee.

Anania's is a convenience store with beer and a deli counter. Sandwiches, pizzas and full meals are available. It's designed to be carry-out, as there are only three stools by the window, and that's it for the seating options. For a light lunch on Friday, a lobster salad sandwich worked well (Diana's scrumptious Italian sub not pictured).

Anania's also has critically acclaimed Whoopie Pies ... and they're delicious.

The hours of activity between breakfast and lunch found us on a long walk from our room to downtown Portland, passing through the campus of the University of Southern Maine, and ending at the Maine Historical Society for a look at an exhibit, 'World War I and the Maine Experience'.

The exhibit was informative and sobering, and while browsing through the gift shop, I learned that one of my preferred "expert" commentators in the recent PBS documentary series about World War I, writer Richard Rubin, turns out to be based in nearby Brunswick.

Also present in Brunswick is Lively Brewing at Ebenezer's Brewpub, and after lunch, we drove there by way of Freeport, where Diana lived for a time as a child. She says that this very big Native American spotted on the way has been there for a long time.

And yes, you've definitely heard of Freeport, because it is L.L. Bean's company town, and many of my wife's relatives work there or have in the past.

Ebenezer's was good, and after restorative Bitter, it was time to head for the ocean.

Personally, I believe all recruitment centers should be placed adjacent to breweries.

As for why we were on a dirt track through the Maine woods, I refer you to the nearest available volume of "What to Do with Your Rental Car."

We arrived at online/doc/parksearch/details.pl?park_id=22" style="font-weight: bold;">Popham Beach State Park as the sun was about to set. Those photos are coming in the next installment.

New England 2017: How to avoid Thunder by jetting to Portland, Maine for spring break.

Our 2017 "spring break" trip to New England occurred only because neither of us have been paying attention to the accumulation of Delta Sky Miles. Surely there wouldn't be enough of them to pay for round-trip airfare, but the math worked.

We flew into Portland, Maine and rented a car, then drove it to visit Diana's niece and her family in Massachusetts. The ten-day trip ended at the airport in Hartford, where the Prius was deposited and the flight home (via Detroit) commenced.

As is my usual custom, I'll be posting photos, commentary and links; the daily accounts will be back-dated to coincide with their occurrence. It won't be the most thrilling reading, but in addition to whatever else NAC may or may not have become over the years, it's still a personal blog, and you're fully entitled to views of our holiday.

We began south of Portland. The institution known as Clambake Seafood Restaurant is situated just past the Scarborough Marsh.

The restaurant is not unlike a Munich beer hall, extensive and cavernous. There are seats for hundreds, and when the late lunchtime parking lot is reasonably full and the eatery still seems dead -- that's very big, indeed.

I concurred with Diana's desire to consume a traditional multi-species fish fry, and so it was. I'm sure there are healthier ways to consume this much aquatic life, but there were no complaints from me.

After checking into our Airbnb room on Bolton Street, it was off to the Eastern Promenade to walk off the feast and breathe sea air.

There had been a late outbreak of winter weather only two weeks before, and several snow banks remained.

For our first evening in Portland, the stated aim was to experience Maine's largest urban center in both older and newer incarnations.

Located since 1988 in the old port quarter, Gritty McDuff's remains a great favorite of mine. In the midst of pervasive IPA mania, Gritty's still brews a proper Best Bitter (4.8% abv), and I savored two of them.

On the more recent side of the caloric accumulation ledger, there's Slab Sicilian Streetfood, located on Preble Street, less than ten uphill minutes by foot from Gritty's.

Honestly, downtown Portland seems to be one vast food and drink emporium, and there are far more bars and bistros than any trencherman might navigate in a mere three days. The following day at breakfast, an elderly local was overheard expressing pride that people from Boston drive to Portland just to eat.

Slab was appealing owing to our recent visit to Sicily. Given the proximity to Derby, I was disappointed to learn that horse meat wasn't on the menu, though the pizza and meatball sandwich were excellent, and the photo doesn't do it justice.

We emerged from Slab happily redolent of pizza ovens and garlic, only to find ourselves faced with a major existential question.

How on earth had there been space for a second meal after all that fried seafood?

Hire the panhandlers -- better yet, make them serve on city council.

“Halt, prying progressive anti-establishmentarians. You shall not pass!”

Standing before us was a fully armored Roman centurion, complete with diamond-studded breastplate and 24-carat plumed helmet. Iron and steel clanked ominously as the man unfurled his Latinate scroll.

Bizarrely, the scroll displayed an anchor.

“It is I – Tiberius Severus Octavian Elagabalus Septimius Augustus Claudius Hadrian, the Protector of Fitting and Proper Scribnerian Values, Deliverer of all Downtown Datedness, Master of the Ex-Mercantile, and Guardian of the Gates.

"As institutionalized by Thoreau, Milken and even Adam Dickey, I'm entrusted with the responsibility to implacably oppose the invading barbarians, for which the city shall be eternally grateful. We will meet them on the plains, and in the forests, and in the streets, out behind the flood wall and at the Dog Park if necessary.

"Why? Because Jeff Gahan is right! These homeless, panhandling and impoverished ragamuffins make all of us respectable clean-cut paragons of civic virtue look bad. It's even worse than Woodstock. We wouldn't have tolerated these dirty subversives during student council back in the 1950s, and we won't now. I call for the sworn troops of the elite Caesarean Section to muster on Bono Road, and put 'em all on the same cattle cars.

"Damn the torpedoes, and full speed to Galena!"

The Green Mouse paused for a quick but soulful flask's reverie.

"Councilman Caesar, does this mean you're opposed to the idea of giving panhandlers jobs?

In Maine, Portland Tries a New Tactic With Panhandlers: Hiring Them, by Matthew Haag (New York Times)

The complaints poured into City Hall in Portland, the scenic city in Maine with cobblestone streets and waterfront parks. Panhandlers were taking over sidewalks, clogging busy intersections and scaring off tourists.

City officials responded in the same manner as their counterparts across the country — with force. Starting in 2013, they outlawed begging on street medians, saying it was a public safety issue. After a federal court struck down that law, Portland bulldozed a strip in the middle of a road that had proved popular with beggars.

Despite the aggressive approach, panhandlers did not disappear.

So starting in April, Portland plans to try a new tactic. The city will hire a few panhandlers a day, pay them $10.68 an hour, the city’s minimum wage, and assign them to clean parks and public spaces.

The Portland city manager, Jon Jennings, said it was time to think of another solution and believes this one will help everyone. He hopes to eventually be able to convert some of the jobs into full-time work with the city, he said, and Portland’s parks will be more beautiful.

Truth is stranger than fact as Mayor Gahan presents souvenir anchor seal bag to "tree" subsequently arrested for blocking traffic in Portland.

I doctored the photo. Sorry about that.

If it's really the case, and "one man's bit of performance art is everybody else's misdemeanor," then which one's the transgressor -- fake tree or faux progressive?

And when it comes to "natural choreography," it simply doesn't get much better than the gift of an anchor bag.

'Tree' arrested for blocking traffic in Portland, by Doug Criss (CNN)

Police arrested a tree Monday in Portland, Maine, for blocking traffic.

Ok, it wasn't really a tree, CNN affiliate WGME reported. It was a man dressed as a tree.

The tree, or um, man who was arrested said he stood in the middle of a downtown intersection as a kind of performance art. Asher Woodworth wanted to see how he could impact "people's natural choreography."
If by that he meant to get a lot of people to take pictures and videos of him, he succeeded.