Geppetto wept as Rosenbarger seized the microphone.

As we posit the potential for John Rosenbarger's ever-growing nose to bridge Silver Creek for the Greenway, students in England have already performed the necessary load-bearing studies.

Pinocchio would have broken neck after 13 lies, by Sarah Knapton (Telegraph)

Science students at the University of Leicester have found that Pinocchio could only have told 13 lies before the weight of his nose would have cause his neck to break.

Wooden you? Time for another 1Si temporary executive officer.

Chicago XI was the last of the group's albums with founding member Terry Kath playing guitar. Those of you who never experienced Chicago during Kath's time on earth might be very surprised at the sound of it. 

Speaking of the number eleven, it's time to choose yet another strictly temporary head cheese for the local one-stop oligarch's enfluffment boutique, otherwise known as One Southern Indiana (May 4 - May 10).

For those with short memories, NAC volunteered its headhunting services after a former 1Si CEO displayed his digital mutton javelin to one too many mobile devices. Even Benny Breeze couldn't take the heat -- and he doesn't even exist apart from the tortured imagination of a 1Si bigwig.

Now, interminable weeks later, once again we're compelled to speculate: Who'll be the next ephemeral 1Si kingpin, that incredibly short-lived someone who intones the doleful One Southern Indiana oath of office, words that inevitably precede the getaway after seven days working on the oligarch's chain gang?

I would like to announce that I have accepted the post of CEO of One Southern Indiana. I regret that I have to step down on Monday. I treasure our time that we have worked together.

By the way, did you know that New Albany's favorite son Josh Dallas, starring as Prince Charming in the TV series "Once Upon A Time," is in town for Derby? It seems appropriate that in the spirit of fairy tales (including the Ohio River Bridges Project), 1Si's next temporary CEO is ...

Pinocchio. He's the perfect fit for One Southern Indiana, with a toll-worthy nose capable of expanding all the way to the Drumanard Estate, and encompassing each and every oh-so-tall bridge tale spun by our Stemleresque chamber of small business de-commerce.

Previous weekly winners ...

CDM (formerly Wilbur) Smith
Thunder Over Louisville
Margaret Thatcher
Angry Easter Bunny
Sancho Panza
Sean Payton
Jethro Bodine
Rush Limbaugh
Vaughan Scott
Benny Breeze