The 2013 NAC Person of the Year vote ends in a tie!

For the first time ever, we have co-winners in NAC’s Person of the Year voting, which ended in a tie.

Person of the Year is an annual selection by the readers of the NA Confidential blog, spotlighting a person, couple, group, idea, place, or machine that "for better or for worse ... has done the most to influence the events of the year" in New Albany.


Generally, I’d merely break the tie and cast a deciding ballot. However, because the results seem deeply symbolic -- reflecting our hopes as well as our screams -- it seems appropriate to declare co-winners … and here they are.

Houndmouth ... Four youthful musicians possessing consummate skill and a collectively precocious sense of irony, such that their city benefits immensely from the band's mere existence without ever really grasping why this might be the case. Long may they wave.

And …

Quality of Life ... Or our seldom-urban priorities here in the city. As we've come to grasp throughout the year 2013, "quality of life" as a pretext for spending money invariably reflects a mayor or council person's subconscious suburban mores first and foremost, because these leanings are safely white and mostly understood, whereas urban living suggests racial diversity, social chaos and rampant book reading. In addition, "quality of life" always applies far more to the area just around an elected official's home, and might be subtitled “automotive only”; far less importance is accorded those areas located even a short walk away. Because, of course, none of them ever walk or bike, do they?

Here are the other nominees for 2013:

NA’s small business entrepreneurs
Private planning and design firms
Dr. Thomas "You're My Inferior" Harris
Our errant Bicentennial
Dan "I'm with Jeff" Coffey

Previous winners:

2011: The Sherman Minton Bridge
2012: Bill Allen's dilapidated paint job

New Albany Person of the Year balloting begins now and ends on the 29th.

Previous winners:

2011: The Sherman Minton Bridge
2012: Bill Allen's dilapidated paint job

Here's the template for our objective

Person of the Year is an annual selection by the readers of the NA Confidential blog, spotlighting a person, couple, group, idea, place, or machine that "for better or for worse ... has done the most to influence the events of the year" in New Albany.

Here is the final list of nominees.

Houndmouth the band ... Four youthful musicians possessing consummate skill and a collectively precocious sense of irony, such that their city benefits immensely from the band's mere existence without ever really grasping why this might be the case.

NA’s small business entrepreneurs ... Much of the record of this city's revitalization has been written by self-propelled entrepreneurs, ranging from business owners through developers and facilitators like Steve Resch, while apart from a perpetually well-intentioned bully pulpit, local New Albany government largely has been AWOL – chronically under-funded, often paying more attention (and granting very real  benefits and abatements) to larger companies in industrial parks, or just uninformed, disorganized and obsessed with political irrelevancies.

Private planning and design firms ... We pay them, and pay more for them, than anyone else, even though they completely ignore the interests of the citizenry. In theory, this makes them really important to somebody. Did we mention the city's forthcoming Dubai-standard aquatics center and the Main Street Home Value Improvement Project?

Dr. Thomas "You're My Inferior" Harris … The health department's chieftain fought the law, and the law won. In a rout. Apparently Harris views himself as heir to television's House, although the Indiana Attorney General now views Dr. Tom merely as dead wrong in every single facet of the PourGate matter. As such, Harris becomes a vapid, arrogant metaphor for the bumbling ineptitude of county government.

Our errant Bicentennial … Really? We waited 200 years for 12 months of costume balls?

Dan "I'm with Jeff" Coffey … It cannot be denied that during two years on the job, municipal government's daily operations bear Mayor Gahan's unmistakable stamp: Inward, guarded and hermetic. For Coffey, Gahan's ascension has been the chance of a political lifetime. By positioning himself as the mayor's voicebox and chief council proponent, the once and future copperhead has startlingly reinvented himself in plain sight. Will Gahan return the favor as Coffey challenges that funereal home dude for a commissioner's seat? It could be interesting to view the handshakes.

Suburban, not urban, “quality of life” ... As we've come to grasp throughout the year 2013, "quality of life" as a pretext for spending money invariably reflects a council person's subconscious suburban mores first and foremost, because these are safely white and mostly understood, whereas urban living suggests racial diversity, social chaos and rampant book reading. In addition, "quality of life" always applies far more to the area just around an elected official's home, and far less to those located even a short walk away. Because, of course, none of them ever walk, do they?

Vote here, or at Facebook, or pretty much any way you damned well please so long as it is legible. One vote per reader, please. The voting deadline is midnight, December 29.

Who (or what) is New Albany's "Person of the Year" for 2013?

(8:30 a.m. update: It strikes me that my own cynicism invariably colors the choices presented below. There actually may be a person, group, machine or doctrine which is positive; examples might include Steve Resch, indie business owners, the Greenway, Houndmouth ... or some such)

This idea was thrown out for discussion in 2011, and the Sherman Minton Bridge eventually was declared the winner.

We renewed the conversation in 2012. My personal choice was Bill Allen, whose stunning decision to paint his dilapidated Main Street properties was meant to obscure the plain fact that a quarter-century had passed since he did anything to improve them, perfectly symbolizing the enduring Potemkin village mentality prevailing in New Albany. A full year later, the rubble is more attractive, but it's still a ruin -- and the city does absolutely nothing.

This year, there'll be a formal vote at our Facebook page. First, we need nominees. Here's the template.

Person of the Year (formerly Man of the Year) is an annual issue of the United States newsmagazine Time that features and profiles a person, couple, group, idea, place, or machine that "for better or for worse ... has done the most to influence the events of the year."

Here is an admittedly incomplete starter list.

One way street grid ... for something that has existed for only 1/4 of the city's history, misplaced urban arterials exercise a profound grip on the waking lives of city officials. As examples from the remainder of the country illustrate the myriad benefits to be derived from city streets functioning as they were originally intended, New Albany power brokers glaze over with terror at the prospect of being contemporary and pro-active (see Our local Democratic Party below).

Horseshoe Foundation ... it converts gaming losses into funds for the social services that Erika's taxpayers eschew, does so with consummate impartiality, and never, ever deigns to interfere in local governmental affairs conducted by those officials who actually were elected ... LOL.

Jeff Gahan … love him or hate him, it cannot be denied that during two years on the job, municipal government's daily operations bear the mayor's stamp: Inward and hermetic.

Dr. Thomas Harris … the health department's chieftain fought the law, and the law won. Apparently Harris views himself as television's House, although the Indiana Attorney General views Dr. Tom merely as wrong in every single facet of PourGate. As such, Harris becomes a vapid metaphor for the bumbling ineptitude of county government.

Main Street Improvement Project … because it's important to lift property values on Main Street where the nice mansions are, and if doing so diverts more heavy traffic to one-way arterials running through Midtown neighborhoods, thus lowering property values there, then all we need to is change the subject.

Our local Democratic Party … but logically speaking, can non-corporeal bodies capture corporeal awards? Quick, someone find a theologian -- or Connie Sipes.

Bob Caesar … impossible as it may seem, Caesar upped his game in 2013, presiding over an almost entirely wasted white-bread bicentennial year that taught us little of value about the city's experience and much about the startling vacuity of the political figure himself. In fact, seldom has a local "leader" become so reliably consistent in occupying the entirely mistaken side of any given issue, especially when it comes to anything pertaining to the general concept of "urban." CM CeeSaw's Bulova Watch Time? It's around about 1938, give or take a Roosevelt administration.

Quality of Life … as we've come to grasp throughout the year 2013, it applies far more to the area around an elected officials home, and far less a short walk away. Of course, they don't walk, do they?

What do you think? Give me some feedback, and I'll arrange a short list as a poll at Facebook.